A/N:Heya everyoneeeee, I live and so does this fic so don't worry. I'm sorry I haven't been around much, but I'm so glad you're all so eager for this story to continue- it just gives me motivation to keep on writing! I love seeing your comments and thoughts, and would love if you guys headed over to the Tumblr I made specifically to answer asks and interact with you guys! It's ( Mortesangrizwrites . Tumblr. com ) so I'd love to hear from you! I'll shut up now, and let you guys enjoy! C:

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The boy smiles, teeth flashing like a struck match in the dark, and like a moth to flame she draws nearer, drifting from the emptiness of the endless dark- closer, closer, closer- until that boy is all she sees.

Around her, the scene takes shape. Forms coming together into something cohesive, into something she can see, if not truly understand. 'Is this a dream,' she wonders but somehow knows that breathing the question into the air will grant her no answer.

(The murmur of specters is never heard.)

A cloth tent towers tall above her, the boy with the fire bright smile looming high, walking on a rope for an audience that watches in marvel. They are held in rapt attention, eyes glued to the performance, hungry to see what fate will befall he who tests fate- walking on a tightrope without a care in the world.

He is lazily juggling knives over his head, sauntering across the rope- like there is no risk of falling. Like there is no space between the ground and rope stretched across the circus tent ceiling. Like he is untouchable before the breathless crowd, before the envious performers, painted face grinning before the danger. (Almost like the thrill itself is what fuels him, the excitement that drives him on.)

There is awe and anticipation, so thick in the air that she imagines she can taste it. She thinks it would be like a sizzle on her tongue but-

(-for some reason her mouth just tastes like metal… why is that? why does her mouth taste like-)

-one that doesn't last long enough to savor before it slips away.

Death eagerly waits for a slip, for a brief moment of inattention- for a single, unlucky second.

But the boy reaches the end unharmed, and the crowd goes wild, and Death sits back on its haunches. It is patient in the way immortal things ought to be when eternity itself stretches out before them; when time can only dream of halting its flow; when one day even the stars will be touched by its inevitability.

It has been cheated for now, but it remains a winner, it remains a victor. For there is nothing that can escape the waiting jaws of Death, not even this circus performer in a dream that she will not remember- this peek into the life of a stranger that is no stranger at all.

'I know you, somehow,' she thinks, and as the thought crosses her mind, the boy turns, bowing the crowd with a dramatic flourish, eyes as yellow as the circus tent around them, hair as red as the blood Clementine tastes in her mouth.

'Oh,' she thinks, 'It's you.'

The darkness surges. It swallows her whole.

?

Clementine wakes up.

She wakes to rain leaking through the woven roof of a shelter, splattering on her cheek, cold and wet and dripping down the curve of her face. It is the only sensation she feels beside the softness under her head, the tickle of grass pressing against the exposed skin of her arms, the warmth of a small body tucked against her side.

The wetness is the only touch that- for a moment- she can't find a physical explanation for. At least not until it happens once more, and she ties the sound of falling rain to the dampness on her face. There is no phantom coldness touching her. There are no brushes from things that are unseen but real all the same.

She wakes to her body aching, stomach grumbling, lightheaded even laying flat on her back wherever the hell she is. There's a throbbing in her veins, like somehow, she's bruised from the inside out. Her aura burns from within, a fire close enough to sear. It swirls around her bones like a stream of liquid flame. But still, even with this awareness of her aura contained inside her body, there is a distinct absence of it on her skin.

She wakes to storm and thunder, to the murmur of voices barely audible over the howling wind raging outside the hastily made shelter. Her heart speeds up in her chest. The sound is deafening in comparison to the silent, dark world of her forgotten dreams. There is only the rain, the crackle of firewood in a flame, whispering voices, and of her own, unbearable heartbeat.

She opens her eyes from where there is nothing but inkiness, no halo of colors swirling behind her lids; she draws in a breath through cracked and dry lips, and there is nothing but the taste of blood on her tongue, nothing but the flavor of several days worth of unwashed teeth sitting heavy on her tongue.

She wakes to her heartbeat too much to bear, to the world around her silent, dark… empty.

(She waits, but nothing changes.)

Clementine wakes- and for the first time in her life, she cannot sense anything at all.

Day 5

Gon

The scent is carried by the wind to his perch on one of the many trees of the island. The wide leaves around him shiver with the breeze, whispering secrets that only other plants can understand. He stands upon the branch, sniffing the air curiously, cocking his head in the direction the smell is coming from. A smile pulls his mouth upward; and thoughts of the badge he hasn't earned in his pocket, of the bruising on his cheek, are pushed away as he leaps from one tree to the other, following the trail of cologne to its origin. To his friend.

It's not that Gon isn't used to being alone. Whale Island doesn't have many people, to begin with, much less people of the same age that are willing to trek through the wilderness with him. He wonders if making friends has spoiled him- if it has gotten him used to the comfort of companionship with people that accept all his quirks until he can no longer bear being alone again.

The smell is stronger now, potent and almost nauseating in its fragrance- but even as overwhelming as it is, Gon's heart soars as he pinpoints the source, drinking in the sight of Leorio and Kurapika talking to each other in lowered voices, holding back a sneeze at the old stench of blood that hangs in the clearing. That smell makes him think too much of Hisoka, and he warily glances at where the scent has gone, into the bushes, towards a stream he can hear gurgling nearby.

"There are only two days left, Leorio." Kurapika says, eyes sharp even with the dark crescents under them, "If either of you want to pass, we're going to need a plan to find your badges."

"I don't know who my target is," Leorio answers petulantly, kicking at the dirt with a shoe, "And I don't think Clem knows who hers is either. Even if we find one of ours, is two days enough to find the other badge we need for all of us to pass?"

Kurapika makes a thoughtful sound, "Not if we travel as a group, but perhaps if we split up and scout the island for your targets we would make more process." A considering look flashes across his face, "Also, Clem is well enough to help us search. Three people can cover a lot more ground than two."

This is when Gon pops his head out of the tree above their heads, locking his legs around a branch and hanging upside down. He grins, "And isn't four a lot better than three!?"

The surprised squawk Leorio makes as he stumbles back is loud- but so is the laughter that escapes Gon at seeing his friends again. Kurapika's hands are raised, bokken in his palms, body ready to defend even with eyes wide and startled at his sudden appearance.

"Gon!?" They both exclaim in unison, defensiveness and surprise giving way to warmth and relief.

He hops off the tree, landing with a soft crunch of fallen leaves underfoot.

"Hey, guys!" He raises a hand, smile wide and eyes sparkling, "It's been a few days, huh?"

"It's hard to believe it's almost been a week," Leorio mutters, more to himself than anything. He scans Gon up and down as he speaks, narrowing his eyes at the bruising across his cheek and clicking his tongue, stepping closer. He reaches a hand out and grabs ahold of his chin, tilting his head from side to side, examining the swelling. "Only a week and it looks like you can't stay out of trouble either!"

Gon sticks out his tongue and shakes off Leorio's grip, "It wasn't on purpose!"

Leorio crosses his arms, huffing but appeased at seeing it's just a bruise. Kurapika rolls his eyes at the scene. "Anyway Gon, have you found your target yet?"

Gon's stomach does an uncomfortable little flip, but he nods. They don't know who his target was, or just what he's been through these past few days- and he while he wants to tell them everything, the words get stuck in his throat. Shame is thick in his mouth, aching on his pride like another bruise in the shape of Hisoka's fist. His cheap victory (his humiliating loss) flashes through his head.

He doesn't say anything else about the badge in his pocket.

"Aww, man! Even you have more badges than me!?"

Kurapika sighs at Leorio's outburst. "That's why I'm telling you that splitting up is the best way to find your badge sooner. It also gives us the chance to find Clem's target at the same time."

Gon gasps, bouncing on his toes at the surge of excitement that floods him. "Clem is here too!? Where is she? I don't see her," he sniffs and grimaces at the heavy odor of blood, "Or smell her."

Kurapika and Leorio pause.

Their faces go through several emotions at once, before they glance at each other. Gon can see that there's something he's missing, like a conversation just took place that he's not privy to. He pouts at being left out. It's Kurapika who speaks first, while Leorio's face is twisted up like he bit into something nasty.

"She's not too far. She's by the water, cleaning herself off."

Gon thinks of the scent trailing into the direction Kurapika gestures to, concern rising up inside him. "Is she okay? It smells a lot like blood."

"She.. ran into some trouble before we met up." Leorio adds haltingly, eyes downcast as if he feels the guilt of that 'trouble' intimately, "But she's a lot… better now than when we fou- met up."

He doesn't think that's the whole truth, but he doesn't push. The stricken expression on Leorio's face and the dark circles under Kurapika's eyes make him hold his tongue.

Besides, does he have the right to ask when he's also unwilling to share just what he's gone through these past few days, or even who his target was to begin with?

(Hisoka's badge sits heavy in his pocket and -)

No. He doesn't think so.

Clementine

The soap cuts through the layers of grime and froths up in murky bubbles when she scrubs at it with a round but coarse rock she found on the riverbank. There's a patch of clean skin on her arm, pristine in comparison to the disgusting mix of dirt and blood and viscera dried on the rest of her. Just seeing the difference makes the rest of her skin crawl. It's so gross. She's caked with-

(snakes sliced in half, blood raining down, hot and sticky; entrails dropping heavily on the ground, squishing under her boots, bursting like overfilled water-balloons over the ground, seeping into her pants when she drops to her knees and)

-enough nasty shit that her stomach turns at the thought of leaving even an inch of her skin unwashed. There's old blood still under her fingernails, matted in the tangled knots of her filthy hair, dried and flaking on her skin where it wasn't wiped away by Leorio during her unconsciousness.

She rubs the stone against her skin until it's nearly rubbed raw, pink and sensitive to the frigid waters she splashes over herself to get rid of the filthy suds. It's not until she's left no part of her unscrubbed, entire body clean and exfoliated and nearly bleeding that she stops and breathes, watching the dirtied water wash away with the current, dropping her arm back into the water with a splash. She sinks down until her nose is just over the surface of the water, and stares at her reflection with tired eyes.

She can see the sky mirrored just behind her head, long stretches of soft blue splattered with the white of fluffy clouds like a halo made of water droplets thousands of feet above the ground. She thinks that maybe, had her life not suddenly gone to shit, abruptly falling to complete shambles from one shitty moment to the next, she would have loved to tilt her head back to gaze at them. Maybe try to see funky little animals in the puffs of white. Cloud watching is a hobby she enjoys but doesn't have much talent for. It would be nice to give it a shot in this moment of solitude she has.

But, seeing as-

there's something wrong with her

-she is losing her mind in the stillness, in the silence and unchanging colors of the world around her; she thinks that maybe she's justified in not taking comfort from the sky overhead.

The water in the stream is nearly freezing, but the fire racing under her skin keeps her from feeling it too deeply. She's warm in a way she would think is a fever had Leorio not triple checked before he finally came to the reluctant agreement that she was fine, physically at least, despite the god awful mess she was last time she got a look at herself.

Her aura hovers in her chest, filling her heart with heat that pumps out through her veins. But it does not seep from her skin. It remains inside her like it does not know how to escape, even as she feels it wrapped around her bones, lingering under her skin, like it's too busy filling each of her cells to listen to her command to come out. Even when she feels it grow denser, thick and heavy inside her.

She cannot make her aura do anything more than move around, burning like liquid mercury in her blood, healing the skin scraped raw right before her wide, disbelieving eyes. Her wounds are nearly entirely healed- even the ones from the earlier phases. The scabs and scrapes on her back are gone, leaving nothing but yellowed bruises. She raises her hands, lifting only her fingertips above the water, cutting through her reflection. She stares at her fingers, as if she stares hard enough, she'll be able to see to the aura just beneath her skin. "What have you done to me?"

She wonders just how bad she looked when they found her- whether this healing had happened back then; when her aura frenzied beyond her control and the frigid fingers of death almost snatched her far, far away. She shakes her head, dislodging the intrusive thoughts. And when that doesn't work well enough, raises her hands and smack her cheeks with enough force to redden the skin.

"Get it together," she mutters to herself, scowling at the lost look in her eyes visible in the water, "If you can't then how can you become a Hunter?"

But what is she without-?

"Ugh!" She growls in disgust and makes her way to the shore, stomping on the waterbed with enraged steps, naked, dripping water- somehow not freezing her boobs off, either with rage towards herself or because the phenomena that her aura is contributing to while refusing to escape more than an inch outside her body turns her into a living furnace. "This is awful."

She wraps her arms around her chest, not as comfortable in her nudity as she would be- in like, her bathroom or something- and realizing, a little too late, that her backpack is still back at camp.

"Why does God hate me!?" She groans, agonized. From a nearby tree, asleep until the sound of her voice woke him, Numi lets out a happy, albeit curious chirp. It's so cute she wants to die. But she's still naked in the middle of the forest, so it's all she can do to draw in a deep breath, and shout in the hopes that her possible savior can hear her through the trees.

"Kurapika!" She calls, lamenting her bad luck and shitty life and unfortunate circumstances. Through the brushes, she hears a surprised exclamation, and a reply, although it's muffled by the foliage.

"Are you alright, Clem?"

"I, um, need you for a sec..." She says instead of answering, "And bring my backpack!"

A moment of pause, "Are you sure about that?"

"I'm gonna die of hypothermia if you don't hurry-" a lie, but Kurapika doesn't have to know that, she's running hot enough that she wonders if she could fry an egg on her leg if she tried, "-also, I'd rather not prance into camp naked to get it myself."

There's an even longer pause, "Please don't."

She rolls her eyes, "I'm trying to avoid that just as much as you, don't worry. I don't think Leorio would recover if he ever saw a real-life woman naked."

"I can hear you!"

"Good!"

Kurapika sighs loud enough that she can hear her but calls back a tentative agreement.

Numi flies over her, wings beating the air, circling Clem's head like he's afraid of letting her out of his sight. Considering he's been waiting for her to be a functioning human being for a few days, she can sorta understand why he's so clingy. Honestly, being the cute ball of feathery fluff he is, Clem doesn't mind at all. Plus, as cute as he is, he's still not human- which means that the loss of his aura in her senses isn't as jarring or leaves her as unsettled as when she woke and realized she wasn't alone.

Clem's aura does a weird little shiver, and she snaps her head to stare at a spot in the shrubbery, gingerly rubbing at her sternum. It's not sensing like she's used to, with that instinctual knowledge of something coming near- but more like an awareness; more like her body is reacting without knowing why.

It's disorienting if she's being honest, but it's progress from the- near silence, blood on her tongue, aura burning from under her skin, darkness under her eyelids and nothing more, the scent of campfire smoke and wet earth but nothing else; panic rising in her chest at the loss of it, feeling robbed of her basic senses, blind to the world around her and-

She wonders if maybe she was better off before she woke from her haze of forgotten dreams.

At least then, Clementine wasn't hyper-aware of the absence of, well, her hyper-awareness.

At least then, she wouldn't have to fight with the feeling of her aura burning hot and potent in her chest; not trained enough to understand how to stop her body from holding it all inside her even when it feels like a bathtub filled to the brim with scalding water- like the water is going to flow over the lip of the tub and flood her from within. She doesn't know what'll happen when there is no room inside her for her aura to go- when the marrow of her bones is full of her aura, when her veins are more aura than blood, when the pressure inside her reaches its limit.

She doesn't want to admit it, but it terrifies her.

"I'm here Clem," Kurapika calls from just beyond a particularly leafy bush, the same one she's staring at, actually, kudos to her malfunctioning sensing for getting something right. A pale hand pops out of the shrubbery, her backpack held firmly in its grip, extending it for her to grab ahold of.

Clem shuffles closer, eager to stop frolicking naked in the forest. She takes the bag and starts digging through it, finding a pair of undies and putting them on with a sigh of relief. She needs a bra, or a shirt now, whichever she finds first honestly. Then she'll think about pants.

Although, her bag is such a mess, she wonders just how the hell she's going to find anything without setting the whole thing on the ground or dumping everything out to sort through the chaos.

"If that's all you needed, then, I'll be heading back now."

Clementine is sorta baffled that Kurapika is shy about this kind of thing, since she's always taken the other girl to be more at ease with all sort of weird things- although she guesses public nudity is something most people would draw the line at. Still, while she's had Numi around to serve as a pseudo-intruder alarm, she'd be much more comfortable with another girl watching her back as she dresses.

And so, it is with this thought in mind- or lack thereof, as she later realizes in absolute mortification- that she reaches out and grabs ahold of Kurapika's slim wrist, pulling the other girl out of the bushes with a shouted, "Wait!"

Kurapika is dragged out of the bush in surprise.

Her grey eyes are wide, her gaze meeting Clem's in a moment of startled disbelief before quickly taking in the sight of Clem in her near-naked glory, wearing only polka-dot underwear and clutching her backpack close. Kurapika's face flushes a dark, dark crimson and for the first time since Clem has known her, the Kurta's unflappable composure is nowhere to be found.

Kurapika opens her mouth to speak, but snaps it closed when all she manages is a small squeak, jerking her head to the side and nailing her eyes to a tree noticeably away. When she does manage to find her voice, it sounds strained. "Clementine, what in the world are you doing?"

Huh, Kurapika is taking this… in an unexpected way. This would be easier to handle, Clem thinks, if her sensing worked properly. Then she'd just be able to read just what Kurapika is feeling from her aura instead of having to guess at it with her not-so-well developed emotional intelligence.

"I'm sorry! I swear I'm not a perv or anything!" She blurts out, feeling a bit guilty about nearly flashing Kurapika and for acting before thinking, "And I don't wanna weird you out or anything, but could you watch my back while I find my clothes and get dressed? Although," Clem adds with a thoughtful hum, "There's no need to be so embarrassed, you know. I know you're shy, but we're both girls here. It's nothing you haven't seen before, I'm sure."

Kurapika's hand, almost forgotten in Clem's grasp, violently twitches.

She slowly turns her head back. Her eyes are darting across Clem's face, as if searching for any sign that she's joking- and even though she is still a bright red, her face twists into a fierce grimace when she sees that Clem is entirely serious. It's an expression Clem has seen a few times- just never from Kurapika, or at least not to this extent. It's the 'I-can't-believe-you're-such-an-idiot' face but put to the extreme, so now it looks more like 'How-have-I-not-noticed-how-stupid-you-are'.

"Clementine," Kurapika says, voice flat and lifeless, inhaling deep from her nose and letting her eyes flutter shut for a brief moment after looking at Clem's dumb, naive, foolish face. "I am a man."

Clem's smile freezes.

She is suddenly extremely aware of her nudity, of how she's still holding Kurapika's wrist, of the fact that she made Kurapika stand there and talk to her when she's only wearing granny panties that came in a pack of five at Mart-Wal.

"You're joking, right?" She forces a laugh but lets go of Kurapika's hand, taking a big step away. Clem stares at Kurapika, face twitching, desperate for the truth to be anything than what it appears to be. Her backpack is hugged even tighter to her chest.

Kurapika opens her- his eyes and stares back at her. He looks dead inside. Those are the eyes of a defeated man. Her admittance of thinking him a woman seems to have crushed his spirit, albeit probably only for this long, awkward moment hanging between them.

The stream continues to gurgle. The leaves of the trees sway in the wind. Numi chirps and flies in lazy loops over their heads. Clementine feels all the blood drain from her face.

"Oh my god!" She shrieks and throws herself into the bushes.

Day 6

Kurapika

"I will murder you if you don't stop laughing," Clementine snarls, face beet red and ready to bodily hurl herself in Leorio's direction. Kurapika, himself, is trying to come to terms with the fact that for all this time, Clem thought he was a woman. She can't quite meet his eyes and every time she even remotely faces his direction, she violently twitches- which is unfair considering he is, for the most part, the injured party here. Although, he will admit it is a mortifying mistake to realize while half-naked.

It's not like he's never seen a woman naked before- but they were part of his clan. The children of the Kurta tribe are- were raised communally, and so it wasn't a rare thing to end up in the baths with his mother and the other women of the tribe. There weren't many children in the clan at a time, but there wasn't anything odd about bringing in young children into the bath, at least until they grew older. Then, they would move on to the baths they felt most comfortable in, whether with the men, the women, or those who didn't identify as either.

It's not surprising that Clementine's thoughtless actions caught him entirely off guard.

But if he's being entirely honest, the shock had been heavily mixed with disbelief. And offense.

An incredible amount of offense.

He exhales heavily, trying to clear his mind of the distraction from his current task. Leorio's irritating cackling makes it harder than it should be. Kurapika turns a glare his way. "Not if I get to him first." He tacks on to the end of Clem's comment.

Leorio pales and wisely stops laughing. Gon, on the other hand, continues laughing, unfazed by the threats, clutching his stomach as the giggles bubble out his mouth. Gon's laughter is preferable to Leorio's although still a blow toward his pride.

"It's not that funny, guys." Clementine snaps, embarrassed and hostile, "It was an easy mistake to make especially since-"

Kurapika narrows his eyes, feeling a brow twitch at her comment. "Especially since… what?" He asks silkily, voice pleasant even with a fire in his gaze. Clem glances up and freezes, like a cornered rabbit staring down a fox. She gulps and holds up her hands defensively and quickly backtracks, forcing out a laugh that sounds more like the wheeze of a dying animal.

"Since I'm a huge, huuuge idiot, of course!" Kurapika raises a brow, unamused, and Clem continues frantically, "See, I was cursed to only have two functioning brain cells and a lot of the time they don't even work that well! So while it's my bad that I made a mistake like that, technically I'm also a victim of my own stupidity so please have pity on your poor, idiot friend, Kurapika." She peeks at him through her lashes, reading whatever expression her frankly, ridiculous, statement had twisted his face into. "... Pretty please?"

In the time since the loss of his clan, since he's traveled the country in search of rumors- in search of a trace of the ones he must destroy to fulfill the vengeance the Kurta deserve- Kurapika has seen a lot of things. He's met strangers with keen eyes and deft fingers, he's met children with determination so unwavering it's almost frightening, he's met murders and victims, hunters and their prey.

But in all this time, he thinks he's never met such an honest-to-god idiot until he met this insufferable woman. Just staring at the dumb, hopeful expression on her face is enough to nearly give him a migraine- Kurapika tries to ignore the surge of fondness he feels.

He sighs, feeling like he's aged in the time this conversation has spanned, "I… feel like there's not anything I can say in response to that. Let's just forget this happened and move on to things that are more important than the fact you're an idiot."

Clementine beams and steps closer, tripping over the extinguished firepit and taking Leorio down with her as she hits the ground. Gon begins laughing anew and Kurapika tells himself that he isn't attached to these idiots, not at all.

And if he forces down a smile at seeing Clem smear ash across Leorio's scowling face, it's no one's problem but his own.

He clears his throat once the bickering and wrestling have stopped, staring at the mess of charred sticks and burnt out coals scattered across the springy grass- and by extension, the two people sprawled within the mess. He closes his eyes and deeply inhales, grounding himself and shifting his focus onto the more important things.

The birds sing in the distance. The leaves of the trees softly rustle against themselves.

Kurapika levels a serious look at Leorio and Clem, "We still need a plan to find the badges you both need before time's up."

Gon raises his hand and cocks his head, "I thought we already had a plan? Didn't you say splitting up was the best thing to do for now?"

"The thing is Clem and I don't know who our targets are," Leorio says, crossing his arms in front of his chest thoughtfully. His shoe taps against the ground, as if the movement will bring forth any fresh idea. "If we're lucky to find one of our targets, that doesn't ensure we find the other one in time."

"Well, actually, I have a question about that." Kurapika turns to Clem, who looks so uncharacteristically hesitant that he's taken aback. There's a tension in her shoulders like she's unsure whether or not to continue. He sees the moment she makes up her mind because her back straightens and her voice is clear.

"The snake charmer I defeated, Bourbon- what happened to his badge after I blacked out? It was a pretty hellish fight, but I know for sure I beat him. Did you guys forget to grab his badge when you found me?"

Leorio bodily flinches at the reminder of that night. Kurapika's stomach twists at the wording of that question. 'Blacked out,' Clem says as if that's all that happened. Hellish,' she says as if the grass wasn't painted scarlet under the moonlight, as if Numi's cries didn't resound in the bloody clearing like the shriek of a banshee.

Honestly, he almost forgot about the badge amidst the haze of discovering her body and Leorio's frantic, desperate shouts. The snake charmer's body had laid where it had fallen, unmoved- nearly forgotten.

Until it wasn't.

A groan brought Kurapika's attention to the fact that the man was still alive; that within the embrace of the forest around them, under the silvery moonlight, this man was alive as Leorio fought tooth and nail to bring Clem's heartbeat back, to make sure his friend wouldn't die in this bloodied field. He doesn't remember what Leorio said to him then, doesn't remember what words were spoken in that shaking voice, or when he turned away entirely.

He remembers only the surge of his fury, of wrath freezing over until it was the heart of a winter storm. He remembers the way his heart beat a dark, heavy rhythm in his chest- remembers seeing the night through a lens of red as his feet moved across the grass, remembers his gaze locking on the fluttering eyelids and feeling something sharp unfurl within him.

Was he cursed? Perhaps that was why forests always ran red with blood in his presence, leaving familiar corpses for him to find. He, the last of his people, who had put the promise of vengeance before whatever future awaited him- who had killed his dreams so that the ghosts of his clan would one day find retribution; what was it about him that made fate want to tear him apart, over and over again?

Kurapika stood over the unconscious man, hands turned to fists at his side and then loosening, before doing it again- the impulse that demanded he took payment in blood for what had been wrought growing stronger with each passing second.

What was another body to avenge? What was another ghost to haunt him?

Kurapika reached for his bokken, raising it up.

There it hung, an executioner's blade ready to swing and he brought it down-

...down… down-

(Leorio's voice finally cut through the fog. "She's alive," he screamed, "Clem is alive.")

-and so the bokken stopped inches away from meeting soft, unguarded flesh.

A part of him recoils at the memory of her lifeless body on that stained ground, even faced with the healthy flush in her cheeks and the curiosity in her gaze. For a moment, the two images overlap, and Kurapika sees the bloodied, beaten girl standing before him instead.

His hands curl into fists by his side, nails digging so deeply into his palms, he doesn't doubt the crescents will linger. The pain snaps him back into reality, the image fading away so the only Clementine he sees is the one asking after the badge of the man who nearly killed her.

He knows it's not her fault she doesn't know just how bad things were, just how desperate Leorio was to revive her- the shouted curses, the whispered prayers, the damp eyes behind foggy lenses. Or just how ready Kurapika was to avenge her- staring down a helpless man with bloodlust in his gaze, weapon ready to strike, jumping straight from grief into vengeance.

"Kurapika?" Leorio's voice cuts in, soft and concerned- as if he knows just what went through his mind. Kurapika twitches, shaking himself out of his stupor. He pushes the memory away, answering Clementine's question with more calm than he feels, pretending that his moment of recollection didn't leave a bitter taste in his mouth. He refuses to meet Leorio's eyes, doesn't want to see whatever look could match the gentle tone to his voice.

"I took the badge," he says instead, "It should be stored away in your bag."

"Thank god." Clem replies with a relieved sigh, opening up her backpack and shuffling through the items within. "It would have sucked to have gone through all that only to come out empty-handed."

"Oh! I wanna see it!" Gon exclaims, stepping closer. "What number did you get?"

"I"m not sure yet," Clem says, elbow deep in her messy bag and rooting around. Her eyebrows scrunch up in concentration. "I swear I felt it just a second ago- Got it!" She makes a victorious sound before whipping out the badge, giving them all a wide, goofy grin. She peers it closely, Gon peeking over her shoulder and doing the same. "103, huh? That makes 5 points now."

Leorio lets out an outraged shout. "Five points!? I only have three!"

"I have my six points," Gon says, surprised. He tilts his head in innocent curiosity, "You haven't found any other badge, Leorio?" A vein pulsates on Leorio's forehead, his eyebrows violently twitch.

"Six points!? You mean to say that a twelve year-old is doing better than me!?"

"Anyway, thanks for taking it for me, Kurapika," Clem says, rolling her eyes at the shouting behind her. Her lips curl mischievously, she adds, "I would just hate to be tied with Leorio, of all people."

"What did you just say!?"

"Can both of you focus on what's important here?" He feels like he's interrupting a fight between two toddlers. The way Clem sticks out her tongue at Leorio, and the way Leorio looks ready to violently hurl himself at her just further validates that feeling.

Kurapika sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose. Why is it that he can't have a single serious moment when Leorio and Clem get together? Gon is the only reasonable one right now- and he's twelve.

"There are only two days left," Kurapika cuts in, words interrupting whatever wave of squabbling is about to follow, "If you want to get your badges and pass, shut up and listen to the plan."