Disclaimer: I don't own Detective Conan

It was amazing, Kogoro thought to himself as he chugged another pint of bitter alcohol, laughing along with the drunks in the bar as though one of them when in reality his tolerance was far higher and he wasn't even tipsy yet. It was amazing how neither Ran or Conan had ever called him out on his lie whenever he introduced the brat as a 'freeloader'. After all, his parents had paid him, and paid handsomely for his upkeep. Technically that made him a 'lodger', and both children knew it.

So why did he lie? Why did he claim he was putting up with the kid for free and sound so ungrateful for the financial aid his parents had paid? The answer was simple, he knew as he demanded another serving loudly and uncouthly, as though he really were as drunk as his bar-mates.

Mouri Kogoro was no fool.

He wasn't a genius; he'd grown up with genii and he knew what they were and they weren't him. But that didn't make him stupid. Cases may have dwindled over the years (until the introduction of Sleeping Kogoro and wasn't that a whole other kettle of fish), but he made enough for himself and Ran to get by. You had to have some competence in the line of work to stay open that long, after all.

So why freeloader? Well, ironically it all started with the cheque. For starters, it wasn't signed from anyone with the name Edogawa, and yet he'd clearly heard the woman proclaim she was the brat's mother, Edogawa Fumiyo. That was suspicious enough, but then he saw the name it was actually signed under.

Kudo Yusaku and Kudo Yukiko.

Of course, he mused as the barmaid brought over the next drink and he flirted with her until she blushed but never meant a word of it, he'd heard that the brat was related to the other brat – the one that made Ran laugh and cry more than anyone else and he still didn't know what he thought of that – so his parents paying for Conan's upkeep wasn't too far outside the realms of possibility.

But a detective is a detective to the core, and he did some digging. The Kudo-brat had disappeared on one of his trips (not a date, dammit) with his daughter to Tropical Land, and Conan had appeared the same evening, out of nothing. No matter how hard Kogoro had looked, he hadn't found a single trace of the kid's existence until that moment. He hadn't gone so far as to take it to the police, despite how much he itched to get the two brats' fingerprints compared, because what he'd found didn't sound safe.

He wasn't a fool. He didn't know the hows or the whys of it but Edogawa Conan and Kudo Shinichi were one and the same and the latter was in hiding. In Kogoro's humble opinion he was doing an awful job at it (Sleeping Kogoro? The anaesthetic dart had stopped working on him months ago and he shared a room with the brat. He knew that bow tie and watch weren't as innocent as they looked) but that didn't change the fact that the brat was in hiding and while he'd dearly love to give him a good pounding for making Ran cry so much, nights when he came back tipsy but masquerading as blind drunk to find (and purposefully ignore) the brat hiding his tears in his pillow gave him the patience to wait until he was back to himself before letting him have it, although he couldn't deny the minor satisfaction he got from mistreating the kid at the scene.

Not, he admitted as he drained the next pint and felt the beginnings of the fuzzy sensation trying to settle in his brain, that he did that for the sole purpose of getting back at the brat for making Ran cry. He was a lot of things, but he wasn't an abuser. To start with, before the cheque, before he knew, it had been his way of trying to keep an innocent child away from the worst sights humanity could create. Now it was to keep him out of the photos, out of the limelight as best he could. It was a losing battle, of course, but at least he could feel like he was doing something to help.

And that all cycled around to the reason behind freeloader, he determined, deciding that he'd pushed his limits far enough now and began the show of acting as drunk as possible on the way home to his daughter and freeloader. Money left a trail. Anyone wondering into Edogawa Conan would latch onto the money his parents were paying and hunt down the trail, just like he did. The trail was hard to follow, true, but it was there and he knew the brat's parents were counting on him to protect their son. So he would proclaim loudly and distastefully that the brat was a freeloader to anyone that would listen, hiding the trail from unfriendly eyes.

If Ran noticed that sometimes their bank balance went up more than the payment from the latest client should have been, she said nothing and he wondered if she, too, knew more than she let on.

It was well past midnight when he stumbled back with far less carelessness than it looked. All the lights were out – it was a school day the next day so of course the kids were in bed – and he crashed up the stairs to his bedroom, now shared with the brat.

He wished he was surprised at the tearstained pillow, and hurriedly evened out breathing as the brat pretended to be asleep. He wished he could treat him like his actual son, reassure him that everything was okay, that they were safe and that he could sleep, but that was too much attachment for a freeloader he claimed to barely put up with.

If the front wasn't up all the time it wasn't as effective, so he buried the resurfacing paternal instincts and slumped into his bed, whimpering about Okino Yoko-chan as he listened to the brat settle down and actually sleep.

Yusaku and Yukiko owed him big time for this, but he'd keep their son safe.

It always seemed odd to me that Kogoro calls Conan a freeloader when 'Fumiyo' handed over a cheque to pay for 'Conan's upkeep, so here's my thoughts behind it.

Thanks for reading!

Tsari