Iwaizumi's fingers slightly touched the skin of his left arm as the soldier observed the scars on his wrist. They were almost covered with other, small scars, but they were still visible: seven straight scars aligned neatly next to each other, every scar being longer than the previous one.
The vice-captain sighed, touched the four scars on his upper arm slightly, and then gazed his right wrist. Five more.

Iwaizumi didn't really care about his looks, so he wasn't bothered by the countless scars he had. But these sixteen, neat scars were different. They were the only ones he didn't remember the story of.
During his ten years in the military he had gotten many scars, more than one could count, but he remembered where he got them. Every Doll bite, scratch, cut from a harsh training session… He remembered all of them. All but these sixteen.

They were too neat to be Doll's scratches. Iwaizumi knew what they looked like – self-harm scars. Oikawa and Akaashi had even told him that they were really those, that Iwaizumi had hurt himself while trying to stay awake. The other men in the unit had said the same. Two years ago, was it?
That had to be complete bullshit, Iwaizumi was sure of that. He would've remembered something like that. Besides, why would he do such a thing? Pain kept you awake, so you cut your wrists, huh? That was just plain stupid. He wasn't like that. All he needed was a cup of coffee.
Or so he had thought. Right now, while sitting on the desk with a pile of documents in front of him, the small cup of coffee he had on the corner of his table seemed like a joke. It was the sixth cup today. During the span of eight hours. And still Iwaizumi found himself dozing off, just like he was right now.
The brunet sighed and took a new paper from the pile of documents once more. These were all related to the fair, so thankfully he didn't need to do anything about them. No answers or actions needed. He just had to go these papers through to see who was coming to the fair, who was selling what and how many people they would have to guard. That information would be vital for them.

The vice-captain's eyes wandered off once again. It was difficult to concentrate when he was extremely tired, his leg was aching like crazy and his head was hurting. He wanted to go outside and breathe some fresh air, but he was stuck here with a bunch of paperwork.
Without noticing, the brunet had been staring the wall of the fallen comrades' knives all this time. The wall was covered with knives of all sizes, even one sword was there. Those had all belonged to the unit's soldiers, and Iwaizumi didn't want to throw them away. He squinted his tired, foggy eyes and tilted his head. Staying awake because of the pain? Would that even work?
The more he thought about it, the more he was sure that it actually would work. It would be easier to deal with a sharp, individual pain that covered all the other aching under it. He had been able to concentrate with almost fatal wounds, because the pain had been so sharp it had kept him on the edge. But the state he was in right now was far from sharp – it was foggy, numbing pain, that didn't have a single source. It almost felt like he was just being steadily crushed under something heavy but soft, that he wouldn't know the fatality of the situation before it was too late.
Would it actually work?

Three sharp knocks made Iwaizumi flinch, and he turned his gaze from the knife wall to the door. "Hajime, are you there?" He noticed Oikawa's voice instantly, even though it sounded somehow foggy.
"Yep", the vice-captain answered. "What is it?"
"Could you open the door?"
The brunet sighed and stood up from his chair, tramping to the door and turning the lock. Oikawa opened the door and Iwaizumi had to squint his eyes because of the light coming from the other room.
"I just thought you should eat something", Oikawa stated and raised his other hand, showing a pack of three sandwiches. "You have been here for hours."
"Oh", Iwaizumi mumbled. "Thanks, I guess." He took the sandwiches from the sniper and plodded back to his desk. He was completely aware that Oikawa followed his every step and tried to see what state his mind was in now.

"Sorry about the yelling", the taller brunet said when Iwaizumi had sat down, referring to their little fight yesterday. "I was just concerned."
"You don't need to be", the vice-captain sighed. "I'll be fine, Tooru, really. You are worrying too much."
The sniper slowly shook his head but didn't insist anything. Silence fell between them, and Iwaizumi opened the sandwich pack. He didn't really have any appetite, but Oikawa was right – he should really eat something. The headache was probably caused by too much coffee and the hunger combined.
"You don't usually keep your door locked", Oikawa stated after Iwaizumi had taken the first bite of the smallest sandwich. The vice-captain gazed his team-mate with raised brows.
"And?" he mumbled. "I just needed to concentrate, that's all."
"It would be safer to keep it open", the taller soldier said. "You would be easier to reach, and you could reach the others more easily."
"It's not difficult to just open the lock."

Again, silence. Iwaizumi had now eaten half of the first sandwich, and he put the rest of it back to the pack. Half of it was more than enough to make him feel nauseous.
"How is the planning going?" Oikawa then asked, breaking the silence once again. "You haven't talked with Kunimi at all. Do you have the plans for the fair ready?"
For a moment all Iwaizumi could do was stare the sniper. The plans. He had to do the plans, too. Oikawa turned his head, meeting the other's eyes, and furrowed his brows.
"You don't have them?"
"Shit", Iwaizumi mumbled, leaning his head on his hand. "That little fucker really threw that task for me too, yes. I didn't remember."
Oikawa cursed a little under his breath, crossing his arms with a frustrated expression. "Well, we still have three days left. I can talk to Kunimi, I guess we will go with the same plan as last year?"
"Not really", Iwaizumi sighed. "We need to be closer to the people. Last time we were guarding them from afar, but I don't want to take risks this year. The Dolls are more active than before, after all. Also, we need to check Keiji's position. He can't be left alone."
"What? Why?"
"His father was released from prison", the vice-captain told with a concerned frown on his face. "That shithead will most probably come to the fair. We can't leave Keiji alone for a slightest moment."
"Oh", Oikawa mumbled quietly. "So that's why Yuki came to visit him here instead of the fair?"
The shorter brunet nodded. "Anyways, there will be some changes. I need to discuss with Kunimi myself."
"Nah, I can tell those things", Oikawa assured. "I think it would be better if you would leave that task to us. We can show you the completed plan, and you can then point out the mistakes if you find any. Alright?"
"I guess so, since I really don't have time for any more tasks", Iwaizumi hummed. "These documents are killing me already. You better make up a good plan, so I don't need to fix everything about it."
For Iwaizumi's surprise Oikawa didn't look relieved at all. Spooked and concerned if anything. The taller brunet was quiet for a while, just observing the other's eyes.
"Great", he then said, flashing a quick smile for the vice-captain. "We won't mess up, don't worry. But Hajime, are you sure you'll be alright here?" the sniper asked, tilting his head a little. "Wouldn't it be better to go to the kitchen or something? The air is way fresher there, you're going to get a headache here."
*Already got one, thanks for the concern*, Iwaizumi thought. He squinted his eyes and tilted his head, too. Then he sighed and stood up, collecting the documents from his desk.
"You could just say if you want to keep an eye on me that badly", the soldier huffed. "Fine. I'll move there, but only because I got all the most important things done already."
A little bit of the tenseness of Oikawa's shoulders faded, and he flashed another smile before turning around and exiting the room.

Iwaizumi picked the last documents and the sandwich pack, quickly glancing the wall of knives. Then the brunet sighed again, shook his head and walked to the door.
It would have been a stupid idea anyway.