A/N: Warning: Character Death! Umm... sorry, but at this point I'm pretty sure the following was probably one of the first things you thought about when you wondered where Kaltenecker went. I know it was for me.
With that out of the way, this is based on a true story. Except it was a goat named Rosebud.
()()()
It was a nice dinner. A lot better than the infamous "Food Battle of Unity" as Coran so very nicely named it. The paladins were actually enjoying their meal due to Hunk's wonderful cooking.
That is, until they noticed that Allura hadn't touched her food.
"Something wrong?" Shiro looked up from his nearly empty plate.
Allura closed her mouth, frowning, then opened it, "I cannot eat this- this-" She gestured at the plate, disgusted, "abomination."
All five paladins looked down at their plates. There was nothing wrong with it.
"What's wrong with it?" Keith raised an eyebrow, poking it with his utensil.
"It's disgusting!" Allura poked it too and cringed.
"Aw, c'mon Allura," Pidge whined through a full mouth. "You haven't even tried it."
"Pidge is right," Lance argued. "You should at least try it. I mean, after all, we ate your food goo."
Allura wrinkled her nose, "At least our food goo isn't made from a real being."
"Could've fooled me," Keith mumbled.
"It was just a cow," Pidge rolled her eyes. "There was no room for it in the Castle and we are not letting it go. to. waste." She emphasized each word with a jab from her fork (or the closest equivalent in space).
Hunk gave her big puppy dog eyes, "Please, princess? I spent a long time on it. Just a little bite? Please?" He clasped his hands together.
Allura glanced at her plate, then the hopeful faces of the paladins. She sighed loudly, "Fine." She curled her lip as she brought the roast to her mouth and took a bite.
Lance leaned over and pointed across the table, "Hey, Hunk, could you please pass Kaltenecker down?"
Allura choked, coughing on the roast. She promptly spat the beef out into her hand and slammed it onto her plate, "I can't eat anything that had a- a NAME." She stormed out of the dining room, leaving a bunch of stunned paladins.
The paladins all glared at Lance who shrugged, "What? It just means more for us."
A/N: Yes, I really did just do that. (Inqueling: They ATE Kaltenecker! O.O) But seriously, this is based on a true story. My dad's foster sister was not eating the goat meat and the moment they finally convinced her to just try it, my dad asked if "they would please pass Rosebud." and she spat that meat out and loudly announced that she couldn't eat anything that had a name.
And the paladins most certainly do that story justice.