The Playback Button

By Laliel

Summary: Director Fury collects his wayward Avengers from their various vacation hidey-holes. If looks could grill ensues. Sequel to The Answering Machine. MOVIE-VERSE, The Avengers and The Amazing Spider-Man!

Note: The *much* anticipated sorta-sequel to The Answering Machine that I finally (nobody hit me, please, eeek) got around to perfecting and posting. I never thought that anything I wrote would garner so many requests for another round, the feedback was much appreciated. I do not expect to carry this further, though, because the new Spiderman is pretty cool and I like how they brought him into the story.

-{o}-

Director Nick Fury stood with legs planted firmly on the polished floor of the meeting room, his hands clasped behind his back, staring down each person seated before him.

"You know when I said that you could take a vacation after saving the world?"

The group nodded.

"Well, I didn't damn well mean for everyone to take it at the same time!"

Steven Rogers raised his hand and stood, placing himself in the danger zone first.

"Well, sir, I did call in to say I would be out of town. Agent Hill confirmed with me that you had approved of the request."

Nick wished that he could actually get mad at the golden boy, but no matter how you sliced it, Captain Steven Rogers was incorruptible. And incorrigible. If he was ever wrong about anything it was the shade of shoes he wore with his khaki pants.

"I understand that, Cap. I don't mind you catching up on 70 years worth of Americana, either, I just wish you would let us give you a damn cell phone or tracker or something so we can find you again."

Fury indicated that he could sit down, which Steve did, before turning his eye on Tony Stark. The billionaire was sitting there with his shades firmly planted in front of his eyes, seemingly tuned out to the world. But Fury knew better…

"As for you, Stark, I wish I could say that I didn't reach you because you were on the moon, but that would be too convenient for everyone. You were, in fact, in the Caribbean on your yacht and wouldn't pick up the call."

Natasha turned and gave him the "How stupid are you?" look, complete with eye-roll.

"Seriously, Stark, you didn't pick up the line?"

Tony pulled his sunglasses off and began defensive maneuvering.

"Yeah well, everyone is forgetting that I don't officially work for SHIELD. And might I add that two somebody's who DO went on vacation together and for fun left behind their cell batteries…which is really thoughtless of you, by the way."

Tony turned to the rest of the group.

"Show of hands, who here knew they were a couple?"

Tony abruptly felt Natasha's heel grind into his instep, causing a very visible wince. Across from him Clint did not seem amused. The soldier leaned in and made a slashing motion across his throat.

"If you ever mention what you just said outside this room, I will hunt you down and staple your lips shut, understand? We are not a couple."

Fury had waited it out with a spare inch of bemusement but now surged forward and took command of the meeting again.

"No, that's wrong. You're a couple of idiots, for all the training you've had, that was a childish thing to do. Stark, next time answer the phone or I will make sure that when you get back there are no Ironman suits left to wear. This is serious. New York City was at risk and all I got was the answering machine…and some kid wearing blue and red spandex."

He turned to Maria, who was standing solemnly behind him.

"How are we doing on that, by the way?"

She stepped forward with her datapad and keyed of a few things to float on the screen at the end of the table.

"We've narrowed the search for people who purchased high grade athletic fabric in those specific colors and who lives in New York City. That is a fairly large number, but we also factored in people with backgrounds in science and this is the result."

A face suddenly appeared. He was a young, fairly scrawny teenager, brown hair poking up in all directions.

"His name is Peter Parker and considering what his father was into, this seems like our boy."

Fury seemed unimpressed.

"He's a kid."

Agent Hill nodded.

"Yes, sir."

He turned back to the group and pounded on the table with his fist.

"A damn kid had to save this city because none of you were here. Do you know how bad that sounds?"

There was a general shrug that ran around the room. Tony ventured into the silence with his usual flair.

"It sounds like shit hitting the fan to me."

Fury glared.

"Well you would know, you've heard that sound enough times by now! Next time I expect all of you to get back to me. And Hill?"

She turned to look him in the eye patch.

"Track down this spider kid…he may be useful in the future, especially when the rest of you decide to be epic failures! Dismissed!"