Hello eveyone! I am so sorry about all the problems the first uploaded story had, they've all been fixed now! Thank you so much to everyone who let me know about the problem. I know what went wrong and it won't happen again. You guys rock! Please enjoy this fixed version, and please don't hesitate to PM me if you notice any other issues!

Tsuna waved to his mother as he exited the house at a brisk walk, setting off towards school. This part of his day was always an adventure, and, as usual, he sidestepped the nearly invisible holes in the sidewalk that tried to add clumsy to his list of character traits. He scoffed to himself. The universe wasn't going to get him that easily.

He dodged past an unfairly attractive brooding stranger who wasn't looking where they were heading, making sure not to fall into them, and a few steps later walked right through the ghost wavering around a telephone pole, eyes focused on a point beyond it, just as he was taught. He sidestepped a woman handing out flyers(to promote what, he didn't care to know. It could be anything from a singer to a sports team. The point is, it wasn't something he wanted to be involved with.) and cut through the park like he normally did, making sure to pay no attention to the unconscious prince or princess lying about fifty feet away from each other or the pointy eared green haired androgynous being in the treetops. He dutifully ignored what sounded like a robot mecha battle happening in the sky(he had no idea what it actually was, be he didn't dare look up, lest he be dragged into it), and arrived at school right on time, taking his seat just as the bell rang.

Step one of avoiding his destiny, complete. Just like every day.

#

The Sawada family was a strange bunch.

On the day of their first and only child's birth, the couple had taken one look at their son's beautiful orange eyes and wild, fluffy brown hair, and had burst into tears. Most had thought it to be the joy of new parenthood, but that assumption was quickly and violently ripped apart when Nana had wailed "Oh kami, he's a main character!"

Iemitsu was on his hands and knees, sobbing "Why, God? Whhyyyyyyy?" uncontrollably and pounding the floor with his fists.

Things, predictably, went downhill from there.

Tsunayoshi Sawada was taught from an early age what being a main character meant. He knew the popular genres, the tropes associated with each, how to recognize a situation that signalled what would be the start of a story, and could list them all at the drop of a hat. And so, with painstaking care and devotion, he went about doing his best to blend in and deny reality.

His father, unfortunately, was part of the Mafia, and had to work overseas, which greatly increased his chances of being in either an action packed shonen, some sort of crime romance, or a veritable world of crime fantasy. Since his dad didn't really have the option of being around, either, that added to his tragic backstory.

Those two things together were probably enough to kickstart a story by themselves, so Tsuna went to nearly unreasonable lengths to avoid main character habits and make himself painfully average. He woke up at a reasonable time each morning, ate breakfast with his mother(never toast, that was just asking for it), and got to his classroom right as the bell rang. He was never early or late, wore his uniform properly yet casually, and sat in the middle of the room(away from the windows, daydreaming was a main character habit) with absolutely no empty desks anywhere near him. He knew that, a main character, he would either get A's no matter what he did or get abysmal marks(and he often felt himself getting more confused as he looked at the homework, so he knew it was the second), and so he took a reasonable amount of notes and studied his ass off to make sure he always turned in either a solid B or high C. Since he was on decent speaking terms with all his classmates(neither popular nor unpopular, thank god), he ate lunch with a different group every day, which drastically decreased his chances of some terrifying in-group love shape. He was average in sports, if a bit on the unskilled side, but that was easily overlooked.

When Tsuna was eight, his mother sat him down at the table, placed a list before him, and said that he was allowed three main character habits, no more. No exchanges, no refunds, no deciding later that he wanted something different.

And so, at the age of eight, Tsuna developed an almost painfully strange sense of humor, sarcasm so sharp it could skin you alive, and a dangerously addictive little "something" that made you want to stick around and protect him. Hey, if he was going to end up in a dangerous genre, he was going to have hordes of loyal people at his beck and call. He was practical, not stupid.

#

And when Tsuna jolted awake on an ordinary thursday six years later, feeling like he was being watched, he knew that the proverbial timer had run down to zero.

But he'd be damned if he wasn't going to have fun with this. The next few seconds were going to set the tone for at least the first arc of the story. He had to make it enjoyable.

#

Reborn full on twitched when his target- no, student, this wasn't a hit- suddenly sat up, looked directly at his hiding spot, and, with a completely straight face, said,

"Tis I, the frenchiest fry."

And then proceeded to carry on with his normal morning routine as if nothing had happened.

What. The. Fuck.