"Can we take a break?" Cordelia asked. "I'm not sore or tired, but I am getting a bit hungry."

"Why aren't you guys tired?" Buffy asked from her comfy spot lying on Angel. "I mean, three hours of walking, plus it was nighttime when we blipped over here, that should have made everyone tired."

"I'm a little sleepy, but not physically tired," Cordelia replied thoughtfully. "It's probably a cat-girl thing."

"I literally have the stamina of a Wookie," Xander reminded Buffy. "Being a gene-thief means I can and have completely munchkinned myself."

"Tapping into the force here," Willow offered. "It may not be Wookie stamina, but it lets me fake it for a while."

"And being a force user as well, you can pull the same trick," Buffy guessed, nodding to her sister.

"Maybe, but I'm not sure," Dawn disagreed. "Sticky side users don't exactly have many techniques for long boring walks. We don't really do boring anything. No, I'm pretty sure I'm still running off of the excess energy I got from Xander."

"Sticky side technique?" Willow asked curiously, while Buffy made a face.

"One of the most basic," Dawn agreed. "Gaining energy from sex is nearly the first thing taught."

"Back to the break idea," Xander said. "I see a canteen ahead, if anyone would care to stop and refuel."

"Would they even have food in there since it's been down for six years?" Angel asked as Xander gestured to a side corridor.

"Troopers don't get fresh food most of the time," Willow explained. "The empire uses mostly freeze dried or condensed food stuff that can last decades minimum."

"It's also pretty good," Xander added much to the surprise of those who hadn't dressed as Star Wars characters. "With the type of money and manpower the Empire had, it was easy to come up with ways to make the food a benefit of military service to encourage enlisting."

"Aren't they all clones?" Buffy asked, confused.

"Stormtroopers were often seen and used as disposable assets, yes, but for every man in the field you needed a dozen to support him," Willow explained.

"Droids cut down the amount needed, but it was still several times their number," Dawn added.

"I'm not sure the emperor didn't plan on replacing everyone with clones over time, but the support and command staff were just regular humans that were recruited from all over the galaxy," Willow said, while Xander used a small metal tool to open up a circular port in a door and mess with the wiring.

"No aliens?" Buffy asked in surprise.

"Not unless they were insanely talented," Angel offered. "George Lucas was a bit heavy handed with the KKK parallels so the Emperor was basically a human supremacist, despite how little sense that actually made."

"He was evil," Willow pointed out.

"Yes, but he was also effective," Angel explained. "Only stupid ineffective people handicap themselves with beliefs that cut off so many options and opportunities."

"Cloned Wookies would have been a nearly unstoppable ground force. Also, voila!" Xander chimed in.

"And suddenly I'm glad he was a Xenophobic bigot," Willow said as the door in front of Xander slid open.

"It's… a pool hall?" Buffy asked, looking around in shock.

"Similar décor, but no," Xander said, crossing the room to the dining section and walking behind the bar.

As Xander flipped switches and the lights came on Buffy gave him a look and a raised eyebrow.

"Yes, indirect lighting for the diners and hanging lights over the holo-tables," Xander agreed. "But while they do have pool or at least something close to it in their library of over two million games, it can also play, as I mentioned, two million games."

Something that sounded a lot like Jazz with some synthesizer added in began playing from hidden speakers.

"Humans are human," Dawn offered. "The things they enjoy are partially dependent on their biology, sounds, tastes, positions."

"Do they have something like pizza?" Buffy asked hopefully.

"And tons of variants," Willow agreed. "Flavors aren't going to be what you're used to of course, but we can probably get something close without too much effort."

"I think I'd rather try something new," Cordelia said thoughtfully, "something with a lot of meat."

"Wouldn't all the meat have either gone bad or become jerky by now?" Buffy asked.

"No, but the texture is going to be like hamburger rather than steak. This is a canteen, not an officer's mess," Xander replied, as he activated a silver mech behind the bar that looked like a sterilized female body made of chrome with featureless smooth frosted crystal where the face would be.

As the android booted up, her 'face' glowed blue, sections slowly dimming, until only a vague approximation of human features remained. "Six years offline, the crew dead and I wake up to the strangest collection of people I have ever seen," the android said in a snarky baritone.

"And how do you feel about that?" Willow asked.

The android shrugged. "I'll miss some of my regulars, but it's always nice to see some new faces, plus I'm certain you've got some interesting stories to tell."

"That's putting it mildly," Willow agreed.

"Is this safe?" Angel asked Xander, as he continued messing with things behind the bar.

"Mostly," Xander replied, as the top of the bar lit up. Willow and Dawn quickly touched the bar, causing holographic screens to appear in from of them.

"Depends on what you meant by safe," the android said as she prepped the bar and checked her supplies.

"He's wondering if you're going to send out an alert or notify security about us being here," Xander explained unconcerned.

"Last I heard, everyone was dead and we were going into standby," she replied. "You certainly aren't Empire, probably rebels, but if you're here then the Empire lost, so long live the revolution. I serve whoever has credits, I'm a hostess, not a battledroid."

"You'd think they'd hardwire in some loyalty," Buffy said with a frown.

"If my regulars were around I'd be loyal to them," the android offered, before giving a very human shrug, "but they've gone on to the second series, so I'm loyal to economics."

"Not sure I'm getting you," Buffy admitted.

"We need to bribe her," Dawn replied amused.

"Do we have any local currency?" Cordelia asked curiously as she tried to make sense of what she was seeing over Dawn's shoulders as Dawn explained what the different symbols meant to her.

"I could spoof the credit reader and charge it to one of the pre-existing accounts," Xander offered, "but I think a hardwired override so you can remain active at-will would be more valuable."

The female android squealed. "I'd suggest doing both!" she quickly added.

"Bit of a game player?" Xander guessed.

"The maintenance crew got me hooked, but unless one of them tossed me a tip or asked me to play, I was stuck just watching and I can't play after hours because I'm shut down when there are no customers," she explained.

"Simple enough to fix," Xander said as he tapped the bar top and started flipping through holographic menus. "I forgot to ask your name."

"My designation is WN-95, but my friends call me Gates." the android replied.

"Well Gates, lets fix your little problem and set up a line of credit from… looks like Maintenance Chief Grogson," Xander said. "Nice large account too."

"Maintenance workers were the majority of my clientele," Gates replied watching what Xander was doing. "It's that easy?"

"Until a monthly audit is run and they wipe the register," Xander agreed, "then you just do it again."

"Looks like Grogson is going to be nice and treat you all to lunch," Gates said cheerfully. "Order away!"

"Way ahead of you!" Dawn said.

"I thought you two were hacking something," Buffy said as she saw Dawn was working on a recipe for something that looked like a technicolor pizza.

"Not a hacker and Willow doesn't know the system," Dawn replied. "I've been working on recipes that can at least come close to the food we know and teaching Cordelia a bit about the language."

"I've been looking at maps and customer feedback left by people," Willow explained.

"Feedback?" Angel asked curiously before immediately saying, "Of course! While some stuff would be considered classified, rough maps of various areas would be available and personnel reviews would let us know about the services available in the area!"

"Ten points to the detective!" Xander said. "I'm checking to see what's officially allowed myself. Each map only extends so far in every direction and I suspect…"

"Please don't trail off ominously like that," Willow said, "it's annoying."

Xander blinked and looked up. "Sorry Wils, I'm kinda distracted because if I'm reading this right, the Death Star actually has rotating layers."

"That's insane!" Willow said wide eyed. "I mean, sure it's possible and can be used to shift mass or reconfigure supply lines more efficiently as needs change in the middle of a battle, but the energy cost… would actually be less than the amount saved," Willow admitted as she considered it.

"This is going to make our trip longer, isn't it?" Cordelia asked with a sigh as the Scoobs exchanged glances.

The android burst out laughing. "I knew you guys would be entertaining, but not this entertaining."

"What's so funny?" Buffy asked curiously.

"The idea of rotating layers was planned according to the construction units I've talked to, but all the fiddly bits would wear out over time, so it was scrapped," Gates explained.

"Strange, I could swear that's the only way any of this makes sense," Xander complained, rechecking the maps.

"That's because while they scrapped the actual rotation system, they didn't think to follow up with some of the systems associated with it," Gates explained.

"So the computer continually changes the visible signs and directions and even maps, even though nothing has changed!" Xander realized.

"It only reads correctly once every twelve hours, exactly at shift change," Gates explained. "Deliveries are rare and require an R2 unit."

"Bet someone got spaced for that mistake," Cordelia said, "or force choked."

"Promoted," Gates corrected to everyone's surprise. "Claimed it was an additional safety feature and would render any leaked plans completely useless."

"Holy crap! I could totally see that working," Willow admitted.

"Which means that all the maps you find are inaccurate, unless they include a time-stamp," Angel said thoughtfully.

"They only have week, month and year," Willow replied.

"So our walk just got longer," Cordelia said with a sigh.

"Look on the bright side," Buffy suggested.

"What's the bright side of this?" Cordelia asked incredulously.

"Since we can't possible get un-lost, we don't need to waste time trying," Buffy replied cheerfully. "Plus, no demons, no bills, no 9 to 5 job, no school," she listed off.

"Zebras are all shiny and new?" Cordelia offered slowly.

"Exactly," Buffy replied with a grin, which Cordelia mirrored.

"The kitchen will have our meals ready shortly," Gates announced. "Anyone want to try and match my Orbital Flux skills?"

"Ohh!" Willow exclaimed. "Me! I'll eat after a few games."

"Orbital flux?" Angel asked curiously.

"It's like Sim World, but you're dropping rocks on each other from a nearby asteroid belt at the same time," Willow explained.

"Jedi played games like that?" Angel asked surprised.

"There's only so much meditation you can do before you risk turning Sith out of boredom," Willow replied.

"That's happened?" Gates asked her, Gates' face blinking on and off in shock.

"There's a reason the Jedi Counsel doesn't forbid sex or video games," Willow replied. "I'm not allowed to say any more than that."

"Think she's trying to psych me out?" Gates asked Angel.

"I don't know," Angel admitted. "If space travel means spending weeks of just waiting and staring at the walls…"

"The Jedi are more about preventing healthy emotional bonds," Dawn explained to Buffy as Willow and Angel followed Gates to one of the nearby holo-tables and Buffy took a seat next to her.

"How did you know doing this would be safe?" Cordelia asked Xander waving a hand. "You really didn't go into a lot of details."

Xander nodded. "Nothing is going to be perfectly safe, but we needed information and of all the choices available, this was the lowest risk, highest reward."

"Bartenders, even robotic ones, hear a lot more than people think," Buffy said, recalling Willy.

"Plus food and entertainment," Dawn added.

"Supply centers have much higher security than entertainment facilities," Xander explained.

"So we needed to know if we could hit bars and restaurants rather than risking hitting Space Costco again," Cordelia realized. "Wait, if that's true, how did we get through the security on the last one so easily?"

"It's made to keep people out, not in," Dawn replied.

"With all the people dead, does it really matter a whole lot?" Buffy asked. "I mean, they can't exactly send Stormtroopers to arrest us."

"The Empire wasn't big on battledroids," Dawn said as she and Xander exchanged glances.

Xander nodded. "From what I've managed to figure out, each level has its own central AI, and by level I mean about a mile and a half vertical and each of them doesn't trust the data from the levels below and above them – "

"Wait, what?" Buffy interrupted, probably just a second before one of the others would have.

"Each level is telling the other ones around it that it is rotating and feeding false data to confirm it," Xander explained. "Despite that fact that they know it's a security measure, it means they can't trust any of the data from the other levels."

Everyone just sat quietly and tried to picture how it all fit together.

"Okay, I give up. How does this even work?!" Cordelia exclaimed.

"I don't think it does," Xander admitted. "They have to use R2 units to navigate inside the station," he pointed out. "R2 units are used for stellar navigation."

"If it didn't work, how did they get the store rooms down here stocked?" Cordelia asked.

"My guess is they built it in sections and then assembled it. They were planning on rotating shells, so it'd make sense to do it that way. Each shell was stocked before assembly to save time and money, which would result in a lot of stuff being offloaded, like female Stormtrooper armor when there are no female Stormtroopers. Non-standard equipment and ordering mistakes from other projects being covered up by the sheer size of this project," Xander explained.

"And since they were using it for general disposal of unneeded goods, no one cared if one of the lowest levels had gear more suited to surface troops," Dawn realized. "All the stuff had to be good quality, pass inspection, intact but it didn't have to be useful. All the gear for specialty units that were no longer needed could be offloaded here."

"Exactly," Xander agreed. "They probably hoped this Death Star would get blown up too, as it would cover a lot of errors."

"And the security?" Buffy reminded them.

"Each level has a dedicated AI that distrusts all the reports from the others. They have some AI controlled weapon placements to back up Stormtroopers, but nothing mobile, so as long as we aren't trying to enter high security areas we're fine. Any reports of intruders on other levels will be considered low priority, possible false since they are from untrusted sources," Xander explained.

"So even if we trip an alarm all we have to do is avoid high security areas and leave our current level to be safe," Cordelia said.

"Exactly," Xander agreed.

"Why didn't they just make new maps as they went along and use those?" Buffy asked.

"Each section looks the same and all the signs change regularly," Xander replied. "Accurate maps would negate the latest security feature, so they'd have to make a new one on each trip."

"The upper level alone could handle the population of a planet easy, so they didn't need to go beyond that one except for mandatory maintenance and monitoring the Death Star's core," Dawn reasoned.

"And they probably lost a few maintenance crews for months at a time as they made their way down to the lowest level and had to travel half way around the level to get to their assigned posts," Cordelia guessed.

"The surface and the bottom level are the only two sections that have permanent features that keep you from getting lost," Buffy said. "Even wander off a little from your group and 'BAM!' you have to spend months trying to find out where you are."

"I wonder how many people just gave up and settled down wherever they found themselves," Dawn said thoughtfully. "I mean, no one could find them, food and water wasn't that hard to find and in little danger of running out."

"If this place had some actual plants and more people to socialize with, it'd make for a comfortable existence," Cordelia offered.

"Considering how the supply rooms are stocked, I wouldn't be surprised to find bags of fertilizer and various seeds in one of them," Dawn noted.

"Reprogram some droids for company," Xander added.

The group fell silent and considered the idea.

"If we're hopelessly lost in space we could still live very comfortable lives here," Cordelia admitted.

"Especially if we could deactivate the rotating maps and signs," Dawn agreed.

"Still need to find a human population or something close enough, so our children wouldn't have to end up marrying each other," Xander said.

Dawn and Cordelia turned thoughtful looks on Xander while Buffy frowned, just as a door slid open and a server droid waltzed out carrying a tray.

"Pizza's ready!" Dawn called out.

Typed By – Sitheus Maximus