My first one to ever write so please be kind. Special thanks to 1974alner for being my beta and friend. Carol for the awesome title, and the ones who have inspired me to try my hand at writing.

Christian

Today is the day the people from New York are coming in for a meeting. I have been trying to get them to sell me the shipping yard they have over there for the last three years.

But first I decide to get up and make Ana and the kid's breakfast and serve them in bed. Looking down at my beautiful wife's sleeping form I sigh. Leaning down I brush my lips over her forehead and reluctantly rise out of bed.

After all these years, Ana still does things to me. Never in my wildest dreams could I have imagined my life where it is now. Married to the most beautiful woman in this world and having two kids. They are the three most important people in my life. I went from a cold hearted dominant, to having a girlfriend, then getting engaged and before I knew it we were married and Teddy was on his way. Two years later we welcomed little Phoebe into our family.

After my shower I check on the kids, who are thankfully still asleep, and make my way down to the kitchen. I find Gail getting the coffee ready. Wordlessly she places a cup of coffee in front of me and I tell her my plans of wanting to make Ana and the kid's breakfast. She pales slightly, gives me a single nod and without a word walks into the family room.

How hard can simple scrambled eggs be? I've seen Ana and Gail do it a hundred times before. And if I am able to run a multi-billion dollar company, I sure as hell can manage a few eggs.

Show them Grey!

Step 1; break the eggs and add them to the bowl. Step 2; whisk together. Hmm, I look at the whisk in my hand and I think of all the things I could do with it, besides cooking. Focus, Grey.

Step 3; Add salt and pepper. Step 4; add whisked eggs into the skillet and turn the heat on low. Since I am not a very patient man I decide to multitask. So while the eggs are cooking I pop a few pieces of bread in the toaster.

By the time the food is ready Ana and the kids have made their way downstairs. Ana's face when she sees me fixing the plates is one of utter shock. She opens her mouth but is distracted by Teddy and Phoebe.

"No, Phoebe, It was my turn today to sit next to daddy!" He stomps his little foot on the floor and squares his little shoulders. Bless him, because his little sister isn't impressed. She simply sticks out her tongue and climbs on the stool he wants to sit in.

"Mom, did you see what Phoebe did?" Teddy whines, his bottom lip trembling.

Ana sighs. "Phoebe…"

With huge eyes Phoebe looks at Ana. "Mommy…" and then it is all gibberish. Her arms are moving and her face is turning a darker color red, so I assume she is really passionate about her dialogue. Fortunately no one understands a word of what she is saying. She tends to talk gibberish when she gets aggravated.

"I've made breakfast!" I say cutting her off.

Phoebe's blue eyes turn impossibly bigger and then she scrunches her nose.

"Where is Gail, Christian?" Ana looks at me and then to her plate filled with eggs.

"I thought she deserved a morning off…" Then I point to their plates. "Now eat."

I beam with pride when I see Teddy shoving the eggs in his mouth. Ana is a different story. She swallows, quickly takes a sip of her tea but the look on her face is like she just ate something sour.

Cocking my eyebrow at my wife I pick up my fork and demonstratively take a bite, however when I start chewing and my eyes meet my wife's I realize that the eggs taste like shit. She gives me a little shrug and pushes the plate away from her.

Slowly rising from her seat Ana walks to the kitchen and looks at the ingredients I used.

"Christian, is this a new recipe?" She avoids my eyes looking down at the counter, biting her lip.

"Why?"

"I don't remember ever using sugar…" Oh fuck! Throwing my fork on the table I look at my plate and to my horror I also realize that the eggs are runny. Fuck, I didn't only add sugar instead of salt, but I also undercooked the fucking eggs.

Getting up from the table I gather all the plates and throw everything in the trash.

"Yay" Phoebe squeals throwing her pudgy arms in the air and bouncing up and down in her chair.

Being pushed for time Ana decides on cereal for all four of us. How is this possible? I can run a billion dollar company, but I can't cook a simple scrambled egg breakfast for my family.

Thanks, to me, trying to impress Ana and the kids with breakfast in bed I have been battling a stomach ache. During the meeting I uncomfortably shift in my seat.

Note to fucking self; when cooking eggs, make sure they are done. Sighing and pressing my ass-cheeks together I wipe the sweat from my forehead.

Ros, my second in command, smiles and reaches for her phone. Seconds later my phone buzzes with an incoming message.

- Enjoying the eggs, boss?

Ana and her big mouth.

My response: - You are fucking fired.

Her responses by snorting and focusing her attention back on the fucker who just can't stop talking.

Looking at my watch I decide to call it a day. Turning off my laptop I look at my watch and call for Taylor. As soon as I get up and start packing my MacBook and phone I feel and hear the rumble in my stomach.

As I grab the desk trying to steady myself, another rumble comes. I look up when the door opens and Taylor walks in.

"Ready, Sir?"

His eyes widen when I just stare at him and shake my head. Bad fucking timing Taylor.

"Is everything all right, Mr. Grey?"

"Just give me a second, Taylor."

As I hurry to my office bathroom I swear I hear Taylor on the phone with Andrea telling her we need air freshener. Just as I am unbuttoning my pants another, horrifyingly loud rumble comes. I offer up a silent thank you to the God of the rumbles as I was just in time to sit down.

Relief. Sweet fucking relief. The smell however is another thing altogether. We definitely need the air freshener.

My thoughts go back to the text I received from Ana a few minutes ago. Saying how she was planning on thanking me tonight. I sure as fuck hope she is going to thank me my making sure the bathroom is stocked with toilet paper and keeps refilling the Pepto.

Jesus Christ, when is this going to end? My asshole is literally on fire. For the last fifteen minutes I have been sitting here like a moron, paying my deepest respects to the porcelain God. Every now and then I lift my stinging ass from the toilet and flush, hoping it will not clog. Because that could get seriously ugly.

My nose and eyes are literally on fire from the horrifying, trenchant smell.

I bet my entire company that even Andrea and Taylor can smell it. Hell I think they can even smell it down at the reception area, thirty floors down. Thank fuck they both signed and NDA all those years ago, because I can already read the headlines.

"Seattle's biggest business tycoon found unconscious in bathroom after a bowel movement gone wrong"

The press would have a field day if they got wind of this.

Once I know I have the all clear sign, I grab the toilet paper, only to realize that I have a little stain in my white boxers. Not as quick as you thought huh, Grey?

It was only a few months ago when we got Phoebe potty trained, but now it looks like I am going to have to start potty training all over again.

After cleaning myself and throwing away the disgusting boxers I make a mental note to have Taylor stop by Walgreens for some Pepto and anal bleaching cream, just in case we are out at the house. You can never be too prepared. I was my hands and when I open the door to my office I get a big whiff of tropical flowers. However the smell of the air refresher does nothing to the smell coming from the bathroom.

Turning my face I see Taylor standing at the door holding back the smirk on his face. Maybe he has gas too?

"Everything come out okay, Sir?" I put my CEO face on and let out a tight 'let's go'

Grabbing my bag and phone we make our way to the elevator. Being in a tight space with Taylor is always awkward but being in the elevator with Taylor and having an upset stomach is just downright embarrassing. And I really don't handle embarrassment very well. With that fucking smirk still on his face, Taylor pushes the button for the ground floor. I just stand completely still, holding my ass cheeks together in fear of letting one seep through. Quickly we make our way through the lobby and out of the front door and I have never in my life been happier to smell fresh air. Knowing I usually sit up front with him, Taylor goes to open the front door. I politely decline and opt for the backseat. No way in hell I am going to sit beside him.

I can feel the sweat running down my back when Taylor pulls away from the curb. "Taylor we are going to make a short stop before we head home. Please stop by the closest Walgreens and get me two bottles of Pepto and anal bleaching cream."

I don't know if Teddy is sick too, but since he ate the most eggs I assume his stomach is messed up too.

As we leave I remind Taylor not to forget to stop by the closet Walgreens. "Taylor I need for you to go in and get me two bottles of Pepto and some anal bleaching cream". I go flying forward in my seat and poot when Taylor hits the breaks.

"Jesus, Taylor what the hell". He looks at me through the rearview mirror and I can see the fear in his eyes. Politely and not loosing eye contact he cracks open the window.

When I look up I see that we have reached out destination.

"Sir, in what department would I find the anal cream?"

"And how the fuck would I know!" I say without making any weird or sudden movements. "Try the fucking ass isle for all I care."

His brow furrows as he thinks this over. "Sir, I don't think they actually have an ass isle."

"Well ask someone for fucks sake! And hurry the fuck up!"

Chapter 2 is almost ready to post. Thanks, for reading and please leave a review!