Heeeyyyyy! So, with the help of the dazzling Cheshire Assasin, I have finally posted this story! I had been having a hard time working up the nerve on writing this story, because I want it to perfect, but Cheshire Assasin helped encourage me to finally do it, so thanks! ;) Oh, and by the way, you should totally go check out her account; it's spectacular! ;)

So, this is going to be a two-shot, and even though the first one is short, just prepare yourself for the second one, because it is oh, so long. :D So, yeah, please enjoy and don't read if it triggers ya'! And don't forget that i'm also now accepting prompts and that I will always love a review. ;)

Disclaimer: I do not own this. Or Arrow. Or Flash. Or anything very important, really, if I start to think about it... :(

Thea's not entirely sure how she had ended up here.

Sitting on her bed, in her room, staring down at the cold, metal pistol in her hand. She twists it slowly in her delicate hands, as if it's the most beautiful thing she's ever seen.

Freedom, it whispers to her, luring her in until her hands shake and her jaw clenches.

She gets this way some days. She has those days when she feels as if there's no reason for her to be here. To be alive, and breathing. It's as if she's standing still, frozen in time, while the world moves around her at a rapid pace.

Accomplishing things she can barely imagine. It comes so easily for some people. They can just make the world a better place by simply being alive. Here, she only messes it up. The misery she feels deep down, is utter agony.

It's as if she's drowning in it, choking as she reaches towards the surface, but can't quite make it.

She pretends that everything is alright, though. Like she doesn't see the looks that flash in her brother's eyes as he remembers something from his time on the island. She pretends that they don't keep secrets from her.

That she and Oliver are still super close, and tell each other everything. Even though she knows that it's a lie, from knowing her own side of the story.

She's not bitter.

Honestly, she's not.

But sometimes, when her mother is so sympathetic towards her brother because of what happened to him on the island, Thea can't help but feel a bit of anger deep inside of her. Moira hadn't cared near that much about Thea during all that time.

It's the reason that she keeps her own secrets now.

She wants to tell Oliver about it, needs to tell someone, but she can't. Because she feels like she would only be complaining about her own awful experiences when he suffered so much more on the island. And even though she knows this, she still can't help the small, angry remarks that escape past her lips at times.

God, she doesn't mean them.

She swears that she doesn't; but she's just frustrated.

Frustrated that nobody seems to care about anybody, anymore. Oliver went through hell, but nobody seems to realize that she had her own personal hell while he was gone. They believe that she's Thea Queen, her life is perfect.

Boy, are they wrong.

And oh, no, it's alright for everybody else to be upset, and talk about how hard they had it while he was gone, but it's not okay for her to vent.

Because she doesn't know what real pain is.

She's too wrapped up in her own perfect, innocent and naive world, that's all about herself, to be upset about this. She's too self-absorbed, and too bratty to notice anybody else's pain and inner turmoil. That she, too, is human.

They have no idea.

That's why, during all of those years, she kept a 'safety net' hidden in a small box under her bed. It's not like anybody would ever notice. They didn't care about what happened in her personal life. It had been quite easy, actually, to 'borrow' her dad's old semi-automatic pistol, and hide it under her bed.

It had happened two months, exactly, after her father and brother's 'death'. She had known where her dad kept his guns, in case of an emergency, and so it was no real hassle to steal it and hide it from her remaining family.

She knew that she would never actually use it, but still...it made her feel better to know that it was simply there. She's startled out of her thoughts, suddenly, when somebody knocks on her door. She drops the gun with a gasp, a semi-loud thud colliding with the floor as her eyes widen and an inaudible curse escapes part her lips.

"Thea, are you okay?" She hears her older brother's voice ask and she swallows as she quickly tries to hide the gun.

"Y-yeah," She stutters, struggling to hide the gun in a place she knows he for sure wouldn't find it in case he had anted something. Really, though, she had a hundred and one places to put it, but she didn't even think of those as the panic settled in her bones. If her brother caught her with the gun...

"Thea, what's going on in there?" He asks, the concern in his voice strong, and she quickly slides the gun under her bed, immediately turning around and sitting on her bed.

"Come in!" She says, mentally cursing herself for sounding so suspicious. She puts on a bright smile as he opens the door, one eyebrow arched and concern on his face.

"Everything okay in here?" Oliver questions and she nods enthusiastically.

"Uh-huh, just cleaning things up a little bit..." Her voice trails off as even she, doesn't believe her own lie. He nods slightly, pursing his lips.

"Mm-hmm." He murmurs, not believing it for one second as he glances around her room, meanwhile, her smile never falters. She's learned the perfect mask by now, after all, she had had a lot of practice over the past few years. "Mom wants you downstairs," He says after a couple of moments and she sighs with a nod.

"Tell her I'll be there in a minute." She says and he nods, glancing at her worriedly, for one final time, before closing the door and walking away. She sighs and closes her eyes for a moment, realizing just how close that had been.

She reaches under her bed for the gun, thinking distantly about locking her door at these times, and her fingers clasp around a cool, metal object. The pulls it out, looking at it once, before switching the safety off, and tucking it back into it's rightful place.

She doesn't know what she would do without her safety net.

Probably go crazy, she muses as she stands up and begins to head towards the door of her room, to go downstairs to tend to whatever the heck they want.

No matter what happens, she will know one thing. Even amidst all of the lies, and the pain, and the misery, she knows one thing for certain.

She wouldn't have survived without her safety net.

Yep...short. But hey, good things come in small packages. ;) Just be prepared for chapter two! I'll try to have it up some time soon! :D