Disclaimer: I claim no ownership of any media property contained herein.

Xander awoke to someone poking him. "Wutyou'ont?" he muttered, half awake.

"I believe she wants to know what you're doing clinging invisibly to the underside of a building ledge," Nightwing said.

"We were sleeping," Xander replied irritably.

"The snores kinda gave that away," the masked hero replied, as Batgirl continued feeling out the invisible part.

"Watch the hands!" Xander exclaimed as the latex clad young lady's exploration hit a bit below the belt line.

She sent a flurry of hand signs which Nightwing translated, "Why are you sleeping naked and invisible out here?"

"We're wearing as much clothing as Martian Manhunter does," Xander defended himself, allowing his eyes and mouth to become visible. "We're homeless, broke, and have no ID," he explained. "And We figured this was better than a park bench."

"You're a Martian?" he asked, surprised.

"No," Xander said flatly. "Now, do you mind letting us sleep?"

"Are you an alien or a meta?" Nightwing questioned him.

"A little bit of each, why?" Xander replied irritably.

"Because I can't just have an unknown meta or alien running around loose," he replied.

Xander made his right eyebrow visible so he could raise it. "Go be a bigot elsewhere, we need our beauty sleep."

"I'm not being a bigot!" Nightwing exclaimed. "I don't know what powers you have or what your motivation is. For all I know, you could be a deranged killer or need to eat human liver to survive."

"If we were a deranged killer we wouldn't be sleeping outside and our dietary needs are the same as most humans, though we do like our sweets," Xander said. "And if you weren't a bigot you'd be rousting all the homeless, not just the ones who aren't normal humans."

Batgirl sent a flurry of signals, clearly amused.

"Paranoid I'll cop to," Nightwing admitted, "but not bigotry."

"Then why are you bugging us?" Xander demanded.

"Because you have the capability of causing a lot of trouble and I don't know you well enough to trust you."

"You are an idiot than," Xander said flatly, "because you should never ever underestimate what 'mere' humans can do; powers may seem like the most important factor but intelligence and will are something you should never overlook!"

Batgirl applauded, grinning widely.

Nightwing groaned. He had a feeling this was going to be a long night.

Xander crawled into bed and pulled up the covers, though he still left his camouflage ability on.

It'd taken Nightwing over an hour to convince Xander to come to the Watchtower and eventually he'd had to resort to bribery and a promise that he wasn't going to be locked up and that they'd help him find his place in the world.

He'd barely gotten to sleep when he felt someone crawling into bed with him. "Occupied," he muttered, half awake.

"Sleepy," a female voice countered wrapping her arms around him.

"Kay," he replied and went back to sleep.

There was some excitement when she awoke, six hours later, and discovered she had slept with the invisible man, but Xander slept through it and didn't awaken until several hours after she'd left. Between sheer exhaustion, and being repeatedly woken up, Xander slept until noon. A quick shower left him feeling ravenous, but much more human than he'd gone to bed.

Deciding that the last thing he needed was to be run over by someone because they didn't see him, Xander contemplated how he should look before deciding on morphing into the invisible man in a tuxedo ala Claude Rains, so he looked like a very upscale burn victim with his head wrapped in gauze and a pair of thin white gloves covering his hands. With the variety of costumes on the space station he didn't even look out of place as he joined the crowd off on their various errands while he searched for the cafeteria.

His nose led him right to Nirvana, according to his stomach.

The Justice League's cafeteria was enormous, designed to seat over a hundred beings of various sizes...which made it look even more like a high-school cafeteria. Seriously.

Xander was about to get in line when he and some others were lassoed by a stretched out limb. "Come on campers," Plastic Man said cheerfully, dragging them off. "You Jr JLU members are about to get some experience in crowd control."

"I can throw lightning around and I'm stuck as crowd control?" Static Shock complained, disbelief clear in his voice.

"Everyone's gotta start somewhere," Gear replied.

"That's the spirit!" Plastic Man cheered. "I'll be right with you, unless the members onsite need my help too. It's all about teamwork."

The four were teleported into the middle of a warzone.

Sinestro and Green Lantern were trading blasts from their power rings while Superman and Solomon Grundy exchanged blows that made the ground shudder and Batman fought...what looked like a common street thug if not for the way he ripped up chunks of the street and threw them at him.

"The newcomer steals abilities," Batman called out. "Superman's fighting at half strength because of him. Avoid skin to skin contact and keep the civilians clear."

"You heard the man," Plastic Man said. "Keep the looky loos back so the big guys have room to move."

"We don't get breakfast until this is done, do we?" Xander asked with a sigh. Normally he'd have given his right arm to see something like this, but he'd had a rough couple of days and was starving!

"Who are you?" Plastic Man asked.

"Starving," he replied, offering a hand. "Nice to meet you."

"That's a strange superhero name," Plastic Man said, his lips twisting completely around on his face as he considered it.

"We're not a superhero," Xander replied. "We're a homeless guy Nightwing sent to the Watchtower, saying they could help us."

"You're kidding?" Gear and Static chorused.

"No, and it's been days since we've eaten."

"Sorry, guy," Plastic Man apologized with a wince. "As soon as this is taken care of, I'll personally stuff you full of grub."

"OK," Xander said, deciding to speed things up a bit before he starved to death. As he and his symbiote concentrated on the thug, his form morphed into an old man in a bathrobe who bore a certain resemblance to the man. "Hey, Billy," Xander called out, in an old man's voice.

The new villain stopped and stared. "Grandpa?"

"You're not too big to put over my knee, Billy," Xander warned hobbling forward and letting the robe almost fall open.

The man looked horrified.

"Damn robe, always getting caught on things," Xander growled out like he was eighty. "Let me get this thing out of the way, and then I'll whup your ass," Xander said, reaching for the belt.

"Grandpa, NO!"

"Give up or the robe comes off," Xander warned.

The man fell to his knees offering his wrists to Batman. "Cuff me!"

Superman seemed to catch his second wind as his powers were returned to full strength and Grundy was driven back by a flurry of blows.

Sinestro also gave ground against the Green Lantern as his ring seemed to be fighting him.

Xander then morphed into an elderly red skinned woman in a bathrobe as 'she' turned and hobbled toward the Power Ring wielders. "Billy, I need you to loofah my back, I'm not as young as I used to be."

Sinestro turned so pale he looked pink. The yellow power ring he wore ripped itself off his hand and flew to Xander, leaving it to the Green Lantern to insure Sinestro didn't fall from the sky.

Xander put the yellow power ring on his left hand and turned to Plastic Man. "We need a handful of salt, please," he said distractedly while the ring and his symbiote both vied for his attention, questions and answers flying back and forth at the speed of thought.

"Yes, sir!" Plastic Man ran off, not wanting to argue and risk seeing one of his own grandparents naked.

Xander morphed back into his Claude Rains outfit, while Batman and Superman double teamed Grundy.

"You can turn into people's grandparents?" Static asked, completely weirded out.

"That's gotta be breaking the Geneva Convention," Gear muttered.

Xander untangled a piece of wire from a chain link fence and pulled it like it was taffy, turning it into steel thread. "We just based the looks we shifted into on what we guessed their grandparents would look like."

"There's probably no law against it, but there should be," Gear said, shuddering.

"Here!" Plastic Man said, shoving a container of salt at Xander.

"Thanks," Xander said, ripping the top off the container and approaching the roaring Grundy as he was driven back by the pair of heroes.

The container of salt and the wire were outlined in yellow energy as Xander concentrated on what he wanted to happen and fed the image to the yellow ring he wore.

Grundy stumbled back as salt was shot at his face like Xander had used a cannon, filling his mouth and blinding him. The thin metal wire slithered forward like it was alive piercing his lips again and again sewing them shut as he clawed at his face. Grundy stiffened and fell over eyes staring at nothing once his lips were fully sealed.

"What did you do?" Batman demanded.

"To return a zombie to its eternal rest all you have to do is fill its mouth with salt and sew its lips shut," Xander explained.

"You killed him?" Superman asked.

"He was already dead, and I'd suggest a proper burial on consecrated ground to insure he rests in peace this time."

Batman frowned. "How can you be sure he wasn't alive?"

"If he had been truly alive, filling his mouth with salt and sewing his lips shut would have just pissed him off."

"Indeed," Batman said, making a note. "How'd you get Sinestro's power ring?"

"We scared the piss out of him," Xander replied. "Now we believe we were promised breakfast?"

"I don't suppose salt and sewing works on clowns?" Batman asked, in a rare moment of humor.

"Worth a shot," Xander offered.

AN: Typing by Lucilla!

AN2: Man am I lazy!