Author's Notes: This is an idea I've had for a while now. Finally I'm getting around to it: the Coneheads' origin story! This chapter is the one scene I knew I wanted to do from the beginning, but as far as what's coming next, well, anything could happen. I hope this goes over well, because I think it's a good idea. I tend to do well with origin stories, and this'll be my 3rd one! Please review, favorite, and/or follow if you want to read more of this fic :)

Chapter 1

The Trining Ceremony

Thrust stood on the platform as the three older seekers rushed around his frame polishing and buffing him for his big day. His father and his father's trine had been overjoyed to see this day, the day their little Thrust would be forever joined to his new trine brothers.

Thrust didn't want to disappoint them. The war was going on in full swing. Decepticon forces were gaining ground, but there had also been a lot of casualties. Vos had been destroyed when Thrust was just a sparkling, and his family had moved from unit to unit ever since. They needed good news, and if the upcoming trining made Thrust's family happy, then who was he to tell them he didn't want to do it?

"You need some jewels on your wings," Puff Smoke, his father's trine commander, said as he appraised the young red seeker's frame, "Maybe some sapphires to show off your colors."

"I don't like jewelry..." Thrust said in a voice that sounded too whiny even by his own standards.

"Don't talk back to Puff Smoke, young mech!" His father, Overdrive, commanded him, "If he gets you sapphires then you'll wear them! Won't you, Thrust?"

"Yes, Father," Thrust replied timidly.

Thrust tried to keep a brave face, but too many questions burned in his processor. His father and uncles had arranged his trine mates for him when he was still just a sparkling, but he had never once met either of them. He knew he was going to be the left in formation just as his father and grandfather both had been. He knew his new commander's name would be Ramjet, and the right wing would be Dirge. Those names meant nothing to him though. He never met them, yet as of this day he would be their trine mate forever.

Part of the trining ceremony involved surgery. The left and right wings were both expected to take on the physical characteristics of their leader. Whatever Ramjet looked like, that was what Thrust was soon going to look like, and there was nothing he could do about it short of running away and being an outcast.

He would never do that though. Thrust wasn't the type to disobey orders. He only went against the tide when his own spark was at stake. Thrust hated to admit this, even to himself, but he was a coward. He would go through with this because he feared his family's disapproval. He would remain in the Decepticon fleet because he feared his commanding officers. He would flee most Autobot attacks because he feared dying.

"Thrust," Turbine, his right uncle, gently called to him, "The ceremony isn't for several joors yet. The catering will be here soon. Do you have any special requests for the feast?"

Thrust couldn't help but smile. His father and Puff Smoke might've been rough, but Turbine was always so tender toward him. Thrust didn't understand how such a docile seeker could be such an efficient soldier.

"Um, can we get some copper sweeties?" Thrust asked shyly.

"Are you kidding?" Puff Smoke bellowed, "That low-end stuff for a trining ceremony? Ramjet comes from money, Thrust! You can get something better than that!"

"He's not rich, Puff Smoke. We're just poor," Overdrive reminded him.

"We are not poor!" Puff Smoke shouted in vehement denial, "Overdrive, fly home and get the heirloom box! I think I have some of grandfather's old sapphires in there. Thrust, this is the most important day of your life and you will look the part of a proud seeker! When you take your place in the center of the room I want to see you at your best! You will smile at the crowd, and lower your wings respectfully at your new trine commander! Don't shame us out there, boy!"

"Yes, sir," Thrust bowed in deference, "Um, if I may ask, I mean, um...What does Ramjet look like?"

The older seekers sighed in unison, and Puff Smoke gave the young jet-former a disapproving look. It was taboo for a seeker to ever ask about the appearance of their promised trine brothers. It was considered shallow and selfish to care about the frame of your future trine. Thrust ducked his helm and didn't bring it up again. He would know soon enough anyway.

Walking to the Unification Hall was taking forever. Dirge wanted to fly, but his grandsire had no antigravity technology installed. Dirge's grandsire was a neutral, and also not a seeker. He was a carrier frame type, and Dirge also had 6 symbiote uncles attending the trining ceremony.

Dirge stopped for probably the tenth time to wait for his grandsire to catch up to him. Dirge just wanted to get this over with. He had always preferred being alone, but his late sire had arranged a trining when he was just a sparkling, and he didn't want to disrespect the dead mech's final wishes.

Dirge thought things couldn't go any slower, but then he saw his grandsire stop to talk to someone else on the street! Ugh! Didn't the old mech know Dirge was in a hurry?

"Hello, Tug. How is your family?" Dirge's grandsire said in a friendly tone of voice.

"Terrific, Stereopticon!" The other mech replied, "We've got a new addition on the way soon. So, how is your family?"

"Busy," Stereopticon replied with a nod of his helm, "Dirge is getting trined today. Would you like to come? You can bring the wife and sparklings. Seeker trining ceremonies always have big feasts at the end. Personally, I can't wait. I haven't had decent energon since that one time I accidentally got some other mech's mail and it had a coupon for free midgrade inside."

Dirge groaned softly and waited on the other side of the street for his grandsire to finish talking. He thought about leaving without him, but he could never do that to his grandsire. He might not have liked the old mech's company, but his grandsire was still the only one left in his life he cared about. Even his Cassetticon uncles were just pains in the aft most of the time. It was strange for him to think that his mother had been a Cassetticon. She barely came up to his father's knees in their family photos!

Finally, Stereopticon finished his conversation and slowly made his way back to his grandson. Dirge was afraid someone might run the poor mech over, but there wasn't a lot of traffic this time of night. Dirge took his grandsire by the arm to make sure this time they kept moving.

"You didn't shine your frame," Stereopticon noticed once he was close enough.

"My new trine is stuck with me no matter what I do. I didn't see the point," Dirge told him in a slightly annoyed tone of voice.

"I know you're stressed, Dirge," Stereopticon replied sympathetically, "It'll be alright. They're both lucky to have you, and I'm sure they'll love you. I hope you get along with them, since they'll become part of the family. I also hope they don't think having a carrier in-law is too strange."

"That reminds me," Dirge said with an edge to his voice, "Do not get separated from me. Most of the guests will be Decepticons just as I am. They won't hesitate to attack a neutral. You need to stay by my side until the very last moment. You can't get in the unification circle with me, but stay as close as you can within reason, and don't let Spinreel, Pain Wire, Twister, Forge, Shellshock, or Hummer out of your chest compartment until the feast. By then all anyone will care about is getting crashed on high grade energon. Just be careful, and be aware of your surroundings."

"Dirge, I understand your concern, but I'll be fine. I've survived this long, haven't I?" Stereopticon pointed out, "Just focus on your ceremony tonight. Spit shine or no, you're still going to be the best looking seeker in there."

"Yeah, until the surgery," Dirge rolled his optics, "I bet Ramjet has a blockhead. Or maybe he'll be one of those with a tiny wingspan. Oh no, what if he has fins on his legs? Those are so gaudy!"

His grandsire laughed without really meaning to. He couldn't help it. Dirge was usually so calm and collected. This trining business had the navy blue and grey mech worked up into a frenzy. Dirge tried to pretend this didn't bother him, but Stereopticon knew better. He also wished his son-in-law hadn't insisted on arranging this union before he died. It was obvious Dirge didn't want this, but he wouldn't back down now even if his grandsire tried to stop him.

The room selected for the ceremony was not the biggest one in the Unification Hall, but it was pretty close. It was a series of passageways that led to a large circular room with a blue steel floor that was ornately decorated with the scripts of the seeker trine vows. Thrust was grateful that engraving was there. If he forgot what to say he could just look at the floor. Probably not the best subject to think about in such an awe inspiring room.

The guests were already there, but Thrust was still in one of the passageways. He wasn't supposed to come out until his name was called by Ramjet. He still didn't see Ramjet or Dirge. Not that he would know what they looked like if he did see them. He looked around the crowd, and saw a short round-shaped seeker with lots of tiny horns and a long nose cone protruding from his face. He really hoped that wasn't Ramjet.

Thrust looked at the guests. It was nice to see that a lot of them were friends of his father's trine, as well as fellow soldiers from Thrust's unit. He might have to spend the rest of his life with two unknown elements, but at least he was surrounded by friends and relatives.

He scanned the crowd to look for unfamiliar faces. He was surprised that he knew most of these mechs and femmes. He found a few strangers near the back of the crowd. None of them were seekers. That was odd. He saw two carriers, a few cassettes, a boat-former, five car-formers, a crane-former, and a deep space shuttle. He wondered how many were Ramjet's friends and how many were Dirge's. He also wondered where the creators of his trine brothers were. He didn't see anyone that could be them.

Thrust checked himself in the mirror one last time. His dark red and grey frame was accentuated by delicate sapphires welded onto his wings and arms. Puff Smoke insisted on it. His armor was waxed, buffed, and polished to perfection. He would probably never be this clean again given the fighting conditions he worked under. He took a cloth to his yellow optics just to make sure. He hoped Ramjet didn't mind that they weren't red. Red optics with red paint just seemed silly.

A gong resonated throughout the room, and the crowds grew silent and drew closer together. Oh, pit! This was it! He would finally get his first look at his trine!

A white and dark grey mech took center stage with a look of fierce dominance on his face plate. Thrust's optics went wide as he realized this was Ramjet. It was worse than he thought. Ramjet had a cone-shaped head and huge fins on his legs! He was ugly, and soon Thrust would be ugly too!

"Come to me, Dirge and Thrust!" Ramjet commanded; his voice echoing throughout the cavernous room.

The atmosphere felt darker than it had a moment ago to Thrust. Sure, there weren't many lights on before, but now it felt dark. This was supposed to be a new beginning to Thrust's young life, but he felt like his life was ending. Ramjet looked cruel, and his frame was hideous.

Thrust made it to Ramjet's left, and he saw Dirge standing with an expressionless gaze on Ramjet's right. Dirge looked creepy, and he gave off a wavelength that scared Thrust to the point of wanting to run away. He looked up at Ramjet's face, and saw that their leader was twitching slightly. Apparently Dirge's fear-mongering noises were making the white seeker uncomfortable as well.

"I, Ramjet, claim these seekers as my trine," Ramjet recited the oath from memory, "Where I fly, they fly. Their triumphs are my triumphs, and their dishonor is my dishonor. We shall crush our enemies, and draw closer from the experience. We are no longer three seekers, but rather one trine."

Then Ramjet took three steps back, and Dirge stepped forward to recite his vows.

"I, Dirge, accept the claim of my trine commander," Dirge recited formally, "Where he flies, I fly. Our victories and sorrows will forever be shared. I will fly by my leader's right wing and protect him from our enemies. I shall bring no dishonor to my trine. We are no longer three seekers, but one trine."

Dirge stepped back to stand at Ramjet's right side, leaving Thrust to complete the trining oath. He was nervous, and his mind was a blank, so he tried reading the ancient script on the floor to recite the left-wing vows.

"Um, I, Thrust, accept the money of my trine commander," Thrust misread the scuffed up text on the floor, with the result being a few snickers from the crowd and an angry scowl from his father's trine commander, "Where he flies, I zip. Our food and femmes will be forever shared. I will be my leader's left wing and protect him from fruit. I shall bring great dishonor to our trine. We are no longer three losers, but one trine."

Those that weren't rolling on the floor laughing were gaping in shock at Thrust. He looked around at the crowd and realized he must've messed up.

"Thrust…" Dirge said hesitantly, "Did you even hear what you said?"

"Um...Not really," Thrust squeaked nervously.

He looked at Ramjet, who was now walking toward him, and he was sure he was going to be beaten and possibly disowned as unfit for the trine. If he had to move back in with his family he would never hear the end of it. No one would trine with such a flake!

"Thrust," Ramjet said in a gruff voice, "That had to be the most honest vow I have ever heard."

"So, um, are you mad at me?" Thrust asked timidly; afraid of the answer.

"A little, but it was funny as slag," Ramjet admitted, "I hope somebody was taping this. If any of us ever have sparklings, they'll wanna see this."

"Wait, so...I can stay in the trine?" Thrust asked hopefully.

"Stay? You just got here, slag head!" Ramjet snapped, but then clamped a servo on Thrust's shoulder in a friendly manner, "Besides, you're gonna spend the rest of your life with this ugly mug. I figure that's punishment enough."

"I never said you were ugly, sir," Thrust tried to sound genuine, but Ramjet gave him a scowl that said he didn't buy it.

"Don't feed me slag and call it energon!" Ramjet shouted, "I like honesty. Maybe I like it when the lower-ranking Decepticons kiss my tailpipe, but I don't want that from you or Dirge! We're brothers, you hear me? I expect a certain amount of candor from you. Now, let's go open up the feasting room for our guests."

The crowds, upon hearing this, cheered and followed the new trine to the door that led to the dining hall. Dirge smirked when he was sure his trine mates weren't watching. His grandsire had been recording the entire event, and Thrust's bumbling vows would be preserved for generations to come.

"What was that!?" Puff Smoke yelled at Thrust the instant he was away from the group, "All you had to do was repeat what Dirge said, but you couldn't even do that right!"

"Well to be fair, he probably would've accidentally called himself the right wing," his father said less than helpfully.

Thrust was humiliated, and just wanted his family to stop talking about it. He knew he screwed up. He knew he almost lost his chance at a trine because of this. He didn't need Puff Smoke reminding him of it the instant he stepped away from the center table. He bet cargo trucks didn't have to put up with this.

Before long, Thrust was able to get away from his family by chatting up a femme from his unit who wanted to dance with him. The song was fast, and he was having a good time now that he was among friends and away from his domineering family. The only one he would really miss was his Uncle Turbine. Other than that, he was almost looking forward to his new life. Ramjet might've been homely, but he seemed nice enough. Dirge was standoffish, but at least he hadn't been mean to Thrust yet. This just might work.

Ramjet, meanwhile, was drinking his high grade and watching the crowds as they danced, ate, and flew around the room. He had seen some odd guests. There were neutrals all over the place, but he couldn't tell which seeker they were here for. Pit, they probably just came for the free fuel. He also saw many Decepticons that were there to see Thrust or his family.

Ramjet sighed miserably. His own father and trine uncles were dead. They had been killed by Autobots during a counter-strike in Tyger Pax. He was young then, but not too young to take care of himself. He joined the Decepticons immediately after that so he would have somewhere to go. Ramjet had advanced to the rank of Lieutenant, and at this point in his career commanded a squadron of 11. Those 11 hated his struts. He was a harsh taskmaster, and he didn't waste time making friends.

He was beginning to understand the downside to his philosophy now that he was staring out into the crowd and noticing that he didn't know anyone there. He didn't have a single guest at his own trining ceremony.