To Reborn's surprise, the car pulled up to Tsuna's house. He trailed after Tsuna, still holding pressure to his wound.

"So, you're the newest stray Tsuna brought home."

Reborn tensed, not recognizing the man. In a dirty white coat, shaggy brown hair and scruffy appearance, the man looked like the definition of shady.

"Shamal," Tsuna said, voice tight. "Please don't."

Shamal waved his hand, snuffing out his cigarette. "You're too soft, Tsuna. Let me see his wound."

Reborn narrowed his eyes.

"Please Reborn," Tsuna said softly. "Despite his appearance, Shamal is a doctor."

Shamal pulled out a scalpel. "He should be use to this already." In a quick slash, he cut away the rest of Reborn's sleeve to examine his wound. "This is going to require stitches. Take a seat."

There was a loud of crash. "Tsuna go take care of your troublemakers," Shamal ordered, pushing Reborn into a seat.

Tsuna merely sighed. He gave Reborn a nod and left the room.

Reborn warily looked at the shady man that Tsuna willingly left him alone with.

Shamal on the other hand, merely snorted. "Oh don't give me that look. Do you know how many strays Tsuna brings home that look at me with that exact look of distrust?"

That… didn't… Reborn actually didn't know what to make of that sentence. He didn't get a chance to ask either, when the door slammed open and Hayato came storming in.

"Reborn! That bastard got you with a knife?"

"And there is stray number one," Shamal said, wiping away the blood from Reborn's wound.

"Shut up old man!" Hayato scowled at the wound. "I knew we should have just killed the bastard." He left without another word, muttering darkly under his breath.

"Kufufu, I heard Reborn was injured," Mukuro said, entering right after Hayato had left. He was carrying a trident of all things, its points looking extremely sharp in the light. "We should repay the favor."

"Kyoya already went ahead," Hana announced, entering the room carrying a naginata. Next to her Chrome was carrying her own trident.

Mukuro's eyes narrowed. "Well, we can't let the Skylark get most of the fun."

The three of them left, their weapons still gleaming sharp in the light.

"What is going on?" Reborn asked, baffled. No one's reactions were making sense. That was completely on par with Tsuna and his friends, but it was a bit alarming to see actual weapons out and about.

"This is what happens when you get adopted by a bunch of bloodthirsty sharks," Shamal remarked dryly.

Takeshi burst in at that moment, carrying a katana. "Reborn! Are you alright? No, of course not," he said, looking at the wound Shamal was stitching.

"They already started without you," Shamal remarked.

Takeshi frowned, a strange look on the normally cheerful boy. "Well I can't let them have all the fun. Don't worry Reborn, we'll get revenge for you," he said, patting Reborn on the shoulder before he vanished through the door like the others.

"I have no idea what's going on," Reborn admitted.

"Tsuna will explain," Shamal said, tying a small bow on the bandage. "There that should hold. We'll change it tomorrow."

That was when Tsuna came back into the room, looking frustrated. "I just don't want you all to end up in jail!"

"We won't!" came the dual voices Kyoko and Ryohei through the door.

Tsuna stopped to hit his head against the wall, grumbling.

"Don't do that Tsuna. You're going to need your brain cells," Shamal said, putting away his supplies. He stood, grabbing a black bag. "I'll go make sure none of them kill themselves, so sit down with your boy toy and reassure him that everything is going to be alright."

"Shamal," Tsuna said. Then he groaned and shuffled over to take a seat next to Reborn. "Fine, you all win. I'll just make plans to break you all out of jail."

"See what happens when you let things get out of control?" Shamal scolded. He waved good bye, disappearing out the door like all the others.

Tsuna groaned again, head dropping in his hands.

"Tsuna, what is going on?" Reborn asked, finally fed up with everything. This morning had been a complete basket case. He had been stabbed, Tsuna and his friends weren't making any sense as usual, he needed stitches from a shady doctor and there was alarming number of weapons being carried around.

"Um," Tsuna said, not meeting Reborn's eye. "I guess, the first thing you should know is that Namimori, the town we're all from, is a fairly popular retirement town for yakuza, mafia, and other criminals."

"Come again?" Reborn said, not believing his ears. Surely he misheard.

"Everyone from Namimori either is, was or related to a criminal," Tsuna said with a heavy sigh. "Tsuru-san is Kyoya's father and the head of the yakuza who rule and protect Namimori. Technically, the only people who have criminal records are Hayato and Mukuro for reasons I do not want to discuss. Takeshi is the son of a retired swordsman assassin, Hana's parents are some of the best criminal lawyers you can find and my own lineage can be um, be traced back to the kings of the Italian Mafia?" He ended his sentence in a soft squeak.

Reborn stared at Tsuna. Shit. He had been half joking about Tsuna being a criminal to give his father an ulcer. Paintball, the crazy stunts, lock picking, the chloroform at three in the morning, shit, it was finally making sense.

"Wait, then why did you need me for a fake relationship?" Reborn asked. If they were all criminals, surely one little stalker could be run off.

"I was trying to resolve it, in a somewhat peaceful manner," Tsuna said, groaning. "It was kind of foolish to think that. I had, wrongly assumed that you, being you and Miebbari being the son of police commissioner who has connections to your father and didn't want to 'upset' him, I thought it would be enough, at least to get through graduation. That backfired. I am so sorry."

"How is a fake relationship a peaceful solution?" Reborn asked, brow furrowing.

"Hana was serious about getting off Miebbari's leg," Tsuna said. "This isn't Namimori where thepolicelooktheotherway, and I wanted to make sure none of them actually ended up in jail, especially in a district where Miebbari's father is charge of. Kyoya already put Miebbari in the hospital once and it took a lot of string pulling to ensure he didn't end up in jail for assault."

Reborn got a sinking feeling he finally understood why everyone rushed out the room after seeing him.

"I don't really want to know what they're doing right now, do I?" Reborn asked.

"No, not unless you want to hear all the gory details," Tsuna said miserably. "Given how thorough Tsuru-san is, I won't be surprised if this area has to get a new police commissioner too."

Reborn pondered, letting the information sink in. Huh. Okay. He did get it. If a peaceful solution where no one ended up dead, involved a fake relationship he could see that. Especially if Miebbari was still coming back after being put in the hospital after Kyoya. Which, what the fuck? Reborn had seen Kyoya snap tree trunks as thick as watermelon with his bare hands. How was that not a deterrent?

It was a rather sound theory and probably would have worked if Miebbari wasn't so downright obsessed. True they were using him, but he wasn't annoyed by the reasoning. It wasn't for Tsuna's benefit, not beyond getting rid of a troublesome stalker, but wasn't for more money or to advance a career or anything else.

"So, this is the final excuse for them to just go ahead and resolve the problem as they would normally," Reborn said. Which most likely involved lots of blood and hacking off of limbs. There was a small part of him was that pleased with the idea because Miebbari had proven to be the worst kind of person. The rest of him just felt queasy at the idea.

"The fact that he attacked you makes it like ten times worse," Tsuna said wryly.

"What? Why?" Reborn asked.

Tsuna blinked at him, surprised by his question. "Because you're our friend? I mean sure we started off as this fake relationship, which again thank you so much for pretending to do that, but we do like you. I like you."

"What?" Reborn repeated, utterly dumbfounded.

"You're amazing," Tsuna continued to ramble. "I mean I knew that from before, your reputation is well known, but you like espresso and have a killer paintball shot. You listen to my rambling at three in the morning when I can't sleep. You love chameleons and don't think patchwork families are broken and weird. Don't tell the others I said this, but you're actually sane and that's such a breath of fresh air. Despite that, you completely just roll with the punches and don't think we're all completely whacky crazy people. I mean you do, but you accept it and move on. How could I not love you?"

Reborn stared at him, trying to wrap his mind around what Tsuna was saying. "I want to take you on a proper date," he said, letting the words slip out.

"What?" Tsuna asked, surprised.

Reborn hit his face with his hand, sliding it down. He hadn't meant for that to slip out.

"I feel like I need to point out that my friends and family are insane and yakuza, mafia and general criminals?" Tsuna said weakly.

Reborn's lips twitched into a wryly grin. "You took me, someone who didn't have any friends, and made space in your lives to include me. You're all insane, but this is the most fun I have had in my entire life. You keep me awake all night with the weirdest conversation, and pay attention to things about me that I was sure no one even cared or noticed. You worry about what I'm feeling, about my safety and you don't actually care about my father's power or my mother's money. You're this bright sun and you see me for me. How could I not love you?"

Tsuna tackled him in a tight hug, mindful of Reborn's injury. "Yes, to the date. But not for another three days."

"Dare I ask why?" Reborn asked, amused.

"Because Hana was running a betting pool after Chrome figured out that I had a major crush on you, about 48 hours after you agreed to Hana's crazy plan. Hayato wins if we wait three days, and I can guilt him into giving us the money to pay for our first date," Tsuna babbled.

"Money isn't exactly an issue," Reborn said.

"It's the principle of things," Tsuna protested.

Reborn huffed, smiling. At least life wouldn't be dull anymore.

-.-.-.-Epilogue: Three years later-.-.-.-

"I'm home," Reborn called out. He stepped into the living room to find it… a mess. This normally wasn't an unusual thing, giving how many people were actually coming and going and actually living in the house. But, the purple goo was definitely new.

And Tsuna was sighing in the middle of it, armed with gloves and trash bags. "Oh, Reborn, welcome home," Tsuna greeted.

"Do I want to know?" Reborn asked, loosening his tie and tossing it to the side.

"Mukuro-"

"Say no more." Reborn continued to believe that plausible deniability was best maintained around Mukuro for the sake of his sanity. He rolled up his sleeves, stepping into the room to help Tsuna.

"You don't have to help," Tsuna said. "I plan on making Mukuro clean up this mess he created."

"I can help you in the meantime," Reborn said.

There was a loud crash and followed by multiple shouts and several explosions.

"I supposed now is a good time to tell you that everyone is over for dinner," Tsuna said wryly.

Reborn chuckled. "Like they are for every other night of the week?" he teasingly mocked.

A whirlwind of chaos, vibrant and bright, that was his life now and he wouldn't want it any other way.

Ah finally done! Look at these two dorks, the only sane people in a group of chaos and madness. I hope you enjoyed this plunny. Reborn the normal one was such a delight to write. I really ought to consider more variations where he's the normal one. It's fun putting Reborn of all people off balance and baffle by chaos.

Please leave a review on your way out.