Hello, and thank you for reading my work! Ummm... I may make some liberties, especially with the Artemis Fowl timeline, which will somehow fit in somewhere (I guess now all his adventures are in the summer). The whole aging thing was confusing, which is what happens with time travel, but I felt like setting it after The Lost Colony. Artemis may be slightly OOC, but tell me what you think! This first chapter is a bit on the short side, but I demand REVIEWS before putting up the next one.
Here's the disclaimer: I don't own Artemis, Harry, or any of their compatriots **sighs sorrowfully**. They belong to Eoin Colfer and J. K. Rowling, respectively. The same applies to the entire story.
Artemis
It was a dark and stormy night. Our setting is a large manor. It is surrounded by a wall, and imposes on the quaint Irish countryside surrounding it. Our subject is a boy of 14 years (or perhaps 18?), pale and thin in appearance, who is lit by the glow of the computer screen.
Tap, tap.
Artemis Fowl was busy. Very busy. At the moment, he was breaking into Foaly's database. It wasn't as if he needed to. In fact, it was precisely the opposite. Artemis was bored. It was a month after Hybras, and he needed a challenge.
Tap, tap.
The boy scowled. He didn't like anything to disturb him while he worked, and something was tapping on the window. The scowl only deepened as he realised he shouldn't be distracted so easily. He was also several inches shorter than he used to be. Artemis sighed. He must've lost a year in limbo. Puberty. He didn't want to go through that again. Deep in thought, he turned around towards the window, just when, to his misfortune, the window burst open. In flew a great horned owl, sopping wet and wearing a similar expression, right into the juvenile genius' lap. The owl flapped it's wings and the juvenile genius sputtered. He was about to call Butler when the owl held up its leg, which appeared to have a letter tied to it.
Artemis had to admit, his curiosity was piqued. He untied the letter, which had quite remarkably remained dry, and opened it. There was an address on it.
The second bedroom to the left up the stairs, Fowl Manor, Ireland
Artemis raised his eyebrows. Very few people could possibly know which bedroom he used. This called for an increase in security.
Headmaster: Albus Dumbledore Dear Mr Fowl, Minerva McGonagall
(Order of Merlin, First Class, Grand Sorc., Chf. Warlock,
Supreme Mugwump, International Confed. of Wizards)
We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Please find enclosed a list of all necessary books and equipment.
Term begins on 1 September. We await your owl by no later than 31 July.
Yours sincerely,
Deputy Headmistress
HOGWARTS SCHOOL of WITCHCRAFT and WIZARDRY UNIFORM ARE NOT ALLOWED THEIR OWN BROOMSTICK Yours sincerely, Lucinda Thomsonicle-Pocus
First-year students will require:
1. Three sets of plain work robes (black)
2. One plain pointed hat (black) for day wear
3. One pair of protective gloves (dragon hide or similar)
4. One winter cloak (black, with silver fastenings)
Please note that all pupil's clothes should carry name tags.
COURSE BOOKS
All students should have a copy of each of the following:
The Standard Book of Spells (Grade 1)
by Miranda Goshawk
A History of Magic
by Bathilda Bagshot
Magical Theory
by Adalbert Waffling
A Beginner's Guide to Transfiguration
by Emeric Switch
One Thousand Magical Herbs and Fungi
by Phyllida Spore
Magical Drafts and Potions
by Arsenius Jigger
Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them
by Newt Scamander
The Dark Forces: A Guide to Self-Protection
by Quentin Trimble
OTHER EQUIPMENT
1 wand
1 cauldron (pewter, standard size 2)
1 set glass or crystal phials
1 telescope
1 set brass scales
Students may also bring, if they desire, an owl OR a cat OR a toad.
PARENTS ARE REMINDED THAT FIRST YEARS
Chief Attendant of Witchcraft Provisions
HOGWARTS SCHOOL of WITCHCRAFT and WIZARDRY
Artemis would have laughed, had he been so inclined. Hogwarts? Seriously? This appeared to be some sort of practical joke, although one that alerted him to serious security defects. However… Fairies exist. Why shouldn't wizards? Not to mention the owl. He made a decision. He would write back. Grabbing a pen and a piece of paper, he made his response.
To Deputy Headmistress Minerva McGonagall,
This is in response to your letter by owl. This could possibly be some sort of ridiculous practical joke, but I am inclined to believe otherwise. I will take your offer. I presume that these 'wizards' have communities with access to the items on your list, but I have no such luck, having been born into a normal family. Where would I be expected to get such supplies?
Artemis Fowl
Artemis put the letter in an envelope l. Then he tied it to the owl, along with a tracker, and the owl promptly flew out the window.
"Butler!"
Butler ran in. He looked confused. "Feathers? Why is the window open?"
Artemis smiled vampirically. "What would you say if I told you there are wizards?"