Author's Note: I'm really nervous about uploading this for some reason. :/ I guess because angst stories are not typically something I feel comfortable sharing with others? They make me feel vulnerable. Am I the only one who feels this way?

I rediscovered this particular fic when I was going through all of my old writing. I started this over a decade ago, but I never finished it and so never published it. But now it is here for you to enjoy!

This is actually a part of another fanfic titled "The End of Danny." If you like this, I really encourage you to check it out! ^^

This was originally a oneshot, but it's become a full fic beyond what I imagined it could ever be. For those new to this and wondering if you should read it, I will tell you that it is a mother/son fic at its core. On the surface, it's a story of overcoming trauma and repairing a relationship. Underneath that, it's about addiction and obsession. And then further under that, it's about what truly makes someone human and real. It is NOT a torture fic. It is NOT a depressed-cutter fic. It does NOT have a tragic ending. Read on if you're still interested!

Warning to readers: Although she is unaware he is her son, Maddie has some disturbing thoughts about Phantom that are not actually sexual but I do draw parallels to sex and rape when describing her thoughts. This story is designed to make readers very uncomfortable. It is my intention. Please read at your own risk. If at any time you are unsure about the content that is to come, feel free to ask me specific questions in a comment or message. I can let you know what will happen.

Disparaged

The disparaged

Danny grimaced at the sight of his parents. They didn't typically hunt ghosts this late at night, and yet there they were, looking right at him, so bewildering that it was almost surreal.

They stood beneath him as he hovered in the air. Jack was fiddling with some sort of new weapon that Danny saw him working on earlier that morning at breakfast. Maddie's eyes were barely visible as she stared at him through her orange goggles, but the determination within them transfixed Danny, pulled his ghostly breath out of him and strangled it.

She was reaching for something on her belt, but Danny could not move, could not even glance at what exactly she was reaching for, entranced by the intensity of her glare.

Why are you looking at me like that? What have I done?

But then she sighed loudly and irritably looked away, breaking the hold she had on him. She snatched Jack's weapon away from him to attempt to fix it herself. Jack pouted and whined his offense.

Still floating above them, he blinked the momentary hypnosis out of his head and turned his attention back to the spider ghost he had been fighting, which was quickly scurrying away. He had to stop it before it hurt anyone or destroyed anything. His parents were only a threat to him. The ghost was a threat to the town. He had to put that before his own safety.

And besides, he was way faster than his parents. They could never catch him.

He flew after the spider at top speed, a yell from Maddie sounding behind him.

She'll get over it.

Danny searched the streets, but there was no sign of the spider ghost. He frowned and wished that Sam and Tucker were around to help him, but it was the middle of the night, and he didn't feel it was necessary to wake them up for, in his opinion, a minor threat.

But he knew they'd gladly offer their help if he asked for it no matter what time of night. Their loyalty was astounding to him, especially since he wasn't even sure he deserved it. He felt he was asking more and more of them while having little to offer them in return.

So the least he could do was let them sleep.

After a basic overlook of the streets, he decided to do a more thorough search. He carefully looked behind and around buildings and landmarks.

Nothing.

Sighing in frustration, he landed on the ground and wondered how long he actually cared to look. If he couldn't find the ghost, his parents probably could. Perhaps he could just call it a night, get some much needed sleep.

No, no, he couldn't do that. He had an obligation to protect this town. It was his fault this ghost was even here in the first place, and he couldn't just give up because he was "tired" or "not up to it." If he had wanted to get enough sleep every night and not be so sore every morning, well, he should've thought of that before he turned on his parents' ghost portal and gave these ghosts an easy way to invade their town.

He lowered his eyes. Why couldn't these ghosts just leave his town alone? Was this what the rest of his life would be like?

A rustle from an alley caught his attention. He looked at it warily. Bad things always seemed to happen to characters in movies and books when they entered dark alleys at night.

He rolled his eyes and headed down the alley, figuring that the worst thing that could happen was that he would have to fight another ghost.

He cautiously scanned the alley as he flew down it, ready to dodge an unexpected attack at any moment. He reached the end where a tall gate and two silver trash cans stood before him. He landed on the ground and looked around in confusion. He had definitely heard a sound coming from here, but what had made it?

Another rustling sound, a louder one. Danny turned his attention to one of the trash cans and peered inside to see a bird frantically flapping its wings in a futile effort to escape.

Danny watched the bird struggle in its metal prison. No way for it to become intangible and move through the barrier surrounding it. No way for it to get away from anyone who might happen to find it and decide to do it harm.

He reached into the otherwise empty can and scooped up the bird in his hands. He threw it up into the air and watched it fly away toward the stars.

Flying's nice, was what Sam had said once.

Danny held his arms and nodded in silent agreement.

There was a sudden sharp stinging sensation just below the back of his neck.

Danny yelped and immediately pulled out the dart that had struck him. He stared at it in his trembling hand. Was it a tranquilizer or something that would temporarily paralyze him?

He started to turn around, wondering if Skulker was after him once again.

A familiar voice shouted at him instead, "Don't move!"

His hand lost its grip on the dart as it clattered to the ground.

Mom!

He heard the charged-up whir of her ecto-gun and figured she was less than ten meters away. Whatever he had just been shot with did not have a noticeable effect on him. He wondered if he could just turn invisible and fly away before she could get any closer.

"What you have just been injected with won't let you change your molecules in any way for a while," said Maddie darkly. "You won't be able to become invisible or intangible."

Danny started to turn again to face her, but she snapped at him fiercely, "I said don't move!"

Danny swallowed and made no further movement. He stood with his back facing her, his mind racing over how to get out of this one. He indeed could not become invisible, his molecules completely ignoring his mental commands. He glanced up at the open sky, but he could not possibly fly away with her gun ready and trained right on him.

He heard her walking closer to him until he sensed she was only a couple meters behind him.

"Get on your knees," his mother ordered, "and place your hands on your head."

Danny hesitated.

"Phantom, now!" screamed Maddie. "I will shoot you if I must!"

Danny delayed compliance just a moment longer, just a few more seconds to retain the dignity that he knew he'd be surrendering. He shakily lowered himself, down onto one knee, pausing before finally bringing down his other knee. He interlaced his gloved fingers on the back of his head and tried not to think about the expression his mother was wearing behind him.

Why had she opted to forgo immobilizing him with a tranquilizer? Why was she not trapping him inside a containment device? Why was she forcing him into this submissive position instead?

Is she trying to make me feel inferior?

He waited quietly for her to call for Jack, to give him another order, to do something, but nothing happened for several moments. His eyes wandered as he tried to concoct a way out of this.

What was she waiting for anyway? Did she want to make him uncomfortable or nervous?

Because it was working.

A couple more minutes passed. He could still hear the humming of Maddie's weapon, her even breathing. He could hear his frantic heartbeats pounding in his head.

Another minute went by. Danny turned his head slightly, hoping to catch a glimpse of what was going on behind him.

"Keep looking forward, Phantom," hissed Maddie.

Danny obeyed and asked as calmly as he could, "How long are you going to keep me like this?"

"As long as I feel like keeping you like this."

Danny winced at the bite in her tone. "Look, I'm sorry you have such a bad impression of me—"

Maddie stepped closer. "Shut up, ghost."

Danny said nothing more.

Maddie placed her blaster next to his head. "I should just shoot you now, end your problematic existence."

Danny scoffed. "Problematic? Without me—"

Maddie hit him over the head with her weapon. "Just because you've saved our town a few times doesn't mean you're a saint."

"What does it mean, then?" demanded Danny with an uncontrollable tremor in his voice. The pain from her blow ebbed to right behind his eyes.

"Tell me why I shouldn't shoot you."

"Amity Park would be teeming with ghosts by now if it weren't for me, and if you get rid of me, the ghosts will completely take over."

"You think we can't handle them ourselves, Phantom?"

Danny shook his head furiously, not wanting to upset his mother any further. "It's not that at all! It's just…" He paused, trying to find the right words. "I kind of have a slight advantage when it comes to ghost-fighting."

"Because you're a ghost yourself?"

Danny almost corrected her with "half ghost," but caught himself in time and nodded instead.

A minute of silence passed before Maddie spoke again. "You've always been fascinating to me, Phantom. From the moment I first saw you, I could tell you were different, not like the other ghosts. I wanted to capture you for science, for experimental reasons. I wanted to…rip you open, look inside you, see what you're made of."

Danny felt his ecto-pressure drop slightly, but he composed himself and fought off the nausea with deep breaths.

"But Phantom, all of our problems started with you," she said indignantly. "Maybe if I just get rid of you, those problems will disappear with you."

Danny knew for a fact that things would get worse with him gone, but how did she know that he was the reason for their ghost problems in the first place? After pondering a moment, he asked tentatively, "What do you mean they all started with me?"

"My husband and I were just about ready to give up on ghosts," said Maddie, almost sadly. "We were…about to give it all up. We had never actually seen ghosts before, you see, and we were starting to wonder if we would ever see any." She paused. "One day, we almost gave up our belief in ghosts altogether." She paused again. "At the exact moment my husband was about to declare that ghosts weren't real, you, of all ghosts, flew by."

Danny racked his brain, trying to recover the memory of this event.

"Ever since that moment, Phantom, we've had an overwhelming number of ghost problems. Why is that?" She moved closer to him. "Why is it that as soon as we saw you, we've had these ghost problems when we never had them before?"

Danny said nothing, unsure how to answer this question without incensing her.

"If you don't have a good answer, I can only assume that you're behind it all." Maddie pressed the barrel of her gun to his head.

Danny gasped and shut his eyes tightly. His muscles tensed, his hands, still on the back of his head, shook. "Please don't shoot me."

"Tell me why we've been having ghost problems."

Danny knew that if things got too out of hand, he could reveal his identity. He knew she would accept him from past experience, but it was something he didn't want to do unless he absolutely had to, a last resort. He didn't want to put her at risk, did not want her to try to interfere with his ghost-fighting by imposing restrictions or joining him in battle.

Or worse—and he hadn't admitted this to Sam or Tucker or Jazz yet—he was afraid that her desire to experiment on him would still be there even if she knew he was her son. He was afraid that she'd be even more excited by the idea of her prized ghost only being half ghost, that she'd try to manipulate him into letting her figure him out. Just one quick look inside, Danny? For science, Danny? Don't you know what I could learn from you, Danny? Don't you want to help your mother become famous and respected, Danny? I gave you life, Danny, so it's only fair that you give it back to me, Danny, Danny, Danny.

But he currently could not change his molecules. Did that mean he could not become human again? With no way to prove his identity to his mother, perhaps she would just shoot him anyway, not believing him.

"I'm losing my patience, Phantom."

"I'll give you an answer," said Danny slowly, "if you could just back away a little. Your gun being right up against my head is making it hard for me to focus."

"You'll give me an answer, or I'll kill you."

I'll kill you.

Such sickening words from his own mother.

"It's…" He wondered how to word his answer. "It is actually kind of sort of my fault that all these ghosts appeared—"

"Really?" said Maddie coldly as she pushed Danny's head down lower with her gun.

"Hear me out!" cried Danny. "I didn't mean to! It was an accident!"

Maddie lifted her gun slightly. "An accident?"

Danny straightened up, but now he had to think of a way to continue without revealing too much. "You know your ghost portal, right?"

Maddie hesitated. "What about it?"

"Remember how it didn't work when you first created it?"

Danny could feel the tension growing as Maddie contemplated this.

"How do you know about that?" she asked.

"Because…well…" What now? How was he going to give her a satisfactory answer without revealing his secret? "I saw it myself. I was there when it wasn't working."

Maddie waited for him to continue, but Danny could sense great curiosity in her irritated silence.

"I was…trying to get back to the ghost zone. As a ghost, I knew that was where I belonged." That sounded believable, right? And didn't make him sound mischievous, right? "The way I had gotten here was no longer accessible, so I was looking for another way. When I came across your portal, I knew that was my chance." His voice quavered. "But it needed to be turned on properly." His mother was aware that it was he, her son, who had managed to turn the portal on. He couldn't lie about that, had to work it in. "So, when I saw your son alone by the portal—"

"My son?" Maddie interrupted. Her voice rose in pitch. "What about my son?"

The reaction took Danny by surprise. Why did she sound so frantic all of a sudden? "Uh, yes, your son. I saw him and—"

"What do you know about my son?" Maddie pressed her gun against his head again. "Where is he? What have you done with him?" She was snarling, but she sounded panicked, frightened.

Danny was stunned into silence. What did she mean? Why was she asking that as if…?

As if she thought he was missing?

"Answer me, Phantom!" screamed Maddie. "I'll shoot you! I'll shoot you right now if you don't tell me where he is!"

"What are you talking about?" cried Danny, truly perplexed. He tried again to become invisible, but his molecules still refused to change for him.

"I'm not playing, Phantom." Maddie grabbed him roughly by his hair and spoke right into his ear. "You are not worth any more trouble. Tell me where my son is, and I'll be sure to end your existence humanely."

He could feel his mother's rage, could hear her gun whirring by his head.

My God, she's really going to kill me.

"I'm…" His trembling words tried desperately to scrape past his vocal cords. "I'm your—"

"Maddie!" another voice cried, the unmistakable voice of his father. He sounded distressed.

Maddie turned to look at him, but she did not release her hold on Danny's hair. "Jack, what is it?"

The spider ghost that Danny had been searching for earlier appeared behind Jack in the alley. Maddie immediately straightened up, yanking Danny up with her. He gasped in pain.

"Jack, watch out!" screamed Maddie.

The spider ghost grabbed Jack with its front legs. Jack attempted to use his new weapon on the ghost, but it knocked it out of his hand toward Maddie. Maddie let go of Danny's hair and picked up the weapon. She ran toward the spider ghost and fired at it.

Danny normally would've stayed, would've helped his father, but he had to get out of there. Shaking, shivering, he took off into the sky, leaving his parents to battle with the spider ghost on their own.

A slowness although he was flying as fast as he could. A feeling of falling even as he climbed higher. A heaviness that weighed him down despite being so light-headed.

He had to lie down, had to process…somewhere safe.

He could see his bedroom window. He increased his speed as he raced toward it.

An explosion of pain sent him sailing back. The ghost shield was activated and surrounding his house.

Jazz opened his window and looked out at him. "Danny! Thank goodness! I've been trying to call you. Mom and Dad have been worried sick about you. Get in here, quick!"

Danny tried to look at her, but he could not focus his vision very well.

Jazz cocked her head. "Danny?" She leaned out the window. "Come on, change already and get in here!"

"I…I can't…" Danny's voice was raspy as he tried to speak.

Jazz furrowed her brow. "You can't…what?"

Danny took a deep breath and tried again. "I can't change back."

Jazz stared at him for a few moments before leaving. A few moments later, the ghost shield powered down, and Danny immediately entered in through the open window. His vision was still unfocused and bleary.

Jazz reappeared in his room. "Okay, what happened? Why can't you change back?"

His head was filling with pressure and about to burst.

Jazz placed her hands on his shoulders. "Danny, you're scaring me."

Constricting vessels. Vertigo. Greying out. His mind was transmitting the strong command to fall, fall, fall.

Danny collapsed, and Jazz caught him in her arms, eased him into a horizontal position. She looked down at him as he shook and heaved.

He could hear Jazz saying something, but he could not parse her phonemes into meaningful segments.

Fear, paranoia, ache.

So much.

Stinging, pulsing, convulsing—

Ripping through him, crushing him, killing him—

She almost killed him, handled him so roughly, aggressively, cruelly, like he was—

NOTHING

Like he meant nothing to her—

Because in that moment, he did mean nothing to her.

As if she—

HATED

She did hate him. She wanted to kill him, and she—

ALMOST DID!

So much, so much, so much, why did this hurt so much? He wanted her to know and yet could never let her know.

Would she have cared when she realized later she had killed her own son?

Or did she really believe that if he was the cause of all of the town's ghost problems that it would be better to kill him, would not feel any remorse even if she knew who he really was?

He didn't know, didn't know, didn't know, was afraid to know.

At some point, Jazz had managed to get him up and on his bed. He wasn't sure when, but he became aware that he was sitting and no longer lying on the floor.

Jazz was talking to him, trying to comfort him. Although he couldn't remember speaking, he must've said some things out loud since she was now assuring him that their mother didn't hate him, that he was her world, always had been since even before he was born.

Danny lifted his head and looked at her, suddenly embarrassed. He moved out of her embrace and turned away. "Sorry," he murmured. "I didn't mean to be so…weak."

"You're not weak," said Jazz. "Not in the slightest."

Danny leaned over, his elbows resting on his thighs, his head hanging. He breathed deeply.

Jazz started rubbing his back. "So, if I heard right, Mom injected you with her latest creation, right? I heard her talking about it a few days ago. It prevents ghostly molecules from changing."

"Right." Danny tried changing again, but still nothing happened. "I can't turn invisible or intangible…or even human." He took in another deep, shaky breath. "What was she doing out at this hour anyway?"

"Well, I was trying to call you to let you know! But you wouldn't answer your phone. I guess Mom came into your room and saw you were missing. She woke me up to say that she and Dad were going to go out looking for you." She paused. "She was really worried about you because as far as she knows, you're not the type to sneak out in the middle of the night."

"I didn't use to be." He tried to say it humorously, but the intended mirth stuck in his throat. "Do you know how long this stuff is supposed to last?" He felt panic returning, building again. "What if she comes back and I'm still in ghost form?"

Jazz stood. "Wait here. I'll be back."

She left Danny alone in his room. Danny took the opportunity to further calm himself. It was over now, he tried to tell himself. At the moment, he was safe. Nothing was happening, nothing was threatening him. Not anymore.

Jazz returned with a syringe and a bottle of clear liquid. "I looked through Mom's notes. The effects are apparently supposed to last for hours, but this should cancel them."

Danny winced. "That's a big needle."

"Well, it's a really thick liquid," said Jazz apologetically. "Best to do it in your upper arm, I think."

Without a word, Danny unzipped his jumpsuit and exposed his right upper arm. Jazz drew a precise amount of liquid from the bottle and inspected it for air bubbles, flicking it a couple times.

"You sure you know what you're doing?" asked Danny anxiously.

"Of course. Don't worry." She moved the needle to Danny's arm. "And really, what other choice do you have, right?"

"You always know how to make me feel better," muttered Danny.

He looked away to indicate he was ready and felt the needle poke through his skin. It was a tolerable amount of pain at first that grew as the liquid was pushed into him, agonizingly separating and stretching his skin. Danny bit his lip and stopped himself from gasping.

"There." Jazz pulled the needle out. "Not too bad, I hope?"

"Not at all." Danny zipped up his jumpsuit and looked down at his gloved hands. "How long does it take to work?"

"How long did it take when you were first injected?"

"It was quick."

"Then I imagine this will be quick, too."

Danny waited only a moment more before taking a deep breath and willing his form to change. With a small crackle, the familiar lights appeared and revealed his human form. Danny looked down at his street clothes with relief.

Jazz hugged him. "There's my little brother." She moved back and sighed. "Well, now you have a new problem."

Danny looked at her apprehensively.

"What are you going to tell Mom when she asks where you've been?"

Danny groaned. "Well, at this hour, I'm going to have to come up with something really convincing." He pulled out his cell phone. "I'm sure they'll believe me if I tell them I was with Sam." He let out a chuckle, but it was somewhat sad. "That sounds like something a normal teenage boy would do at this hour, right?"

Jazz squeezed his shoulder. "You know that would get Sam in trouble, too, right?"

"Sam will do this for me," said Danny, writing out a coded message to his goth friend. "She'd be more than happy to get in trouble with me. I know her." He sent the text. "I can always count on Sam."

Jazz nodded. She then pulled out her own phone. "I'm going to call Mom and tell her you're back, okay?"

Danny only listened as Jazz spoke to Maddie. He could not hear Maddie's side very well, just shrill chatter that sounded joyful. She sounded so happy to know he was okay, but Danny could not banish the memory of how she spoke to him less than half an hour before.

Jazz disconnected the call. "They're on their way back."

Danny sighed heavily. "I guess I have to talk to her."

The two teenagers headed downstairs. Jazz reactivated the ghost shield before joining Danny in the living room on the couch. Danny tried to practice his story, tried to calm himself so that he wouldn't have another breakdown when confronted by his mother.

But the more he tried to diminish his anxiety, the worse it actually became.

He instead tried to focus on the pain in his arm from the injection and the pain at the base of his neck from when his mother originally shot him. He could feel them now, aching, throbbing pains that radiated from the original puncture sites.

This physical pain was preferable for now.

At last, the front door swung open. Danny and Jazz both stood as their parents came in.

"Danny!" Maddie ran up to her son and threw her arms around him. "I was worried sick!"

Danny stood still, leaned back slightly.

Maddie pulled back, her hands now on his shoulders. "Where have you been, young man?"

Danny stared at her blankly. He tried not to focus on her, tried not to conjure any feelings at all, afraid that they would twist into something that he wouldn't be able to control. "I'm sorry for worrying you. I was with Sam."

Maddie furrowed her brow in confusion. "Sam?"

"Yes," said Danny flatly, monotonously. "I'm sorry."

Jack laughed. "Ah, kids."

Maddie turned to her husband. "Jack, this is serious."

"Uh…yes, it is," agreed Jack quickly. "And we will definitely have a talk with Sam's parents tomorrow."

"We certainly will." Maddie turned back to Danny. "And we'll have to think of a suitable punishment for you, Danny." Her expression then softened. "But I'm so relieved you're safe. I was afraid that…" She paused. "Well, it doesn't matter. You're safe."

"Yes," said Danny quietly. "I am."

But he almost wasn't.

Almost wasn't because of—

Maddie studied him. "Are you okay, Danny?"

Danny nodded. "Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just…really sorry. And tired."

Maddie frowned. "You seem…I feel like something's wrong." She ran her fingers through his hair.

—grabbed him roughly by his hair—

You are not worth any more trouble—

My God. She's really going to—

Danny sharply inhaled and pulled away so that Maddie was no longer touching him.

Maddie's brows raised. "Danny?"

Danny forced an apologetic smile. "I'm fine, really. I promise."

Maddie moved her eyes over his face. "You know you can talk to me, right?"

Danny inclined his head. "Of course I know that. You're my mother." He tried to keep his tone light, untroubled. "Is it all right if I go to bed now, or do you still want to talk about this?"

Maddie hesitated before nodding. "Yes. We'll talk tomorrow."

She leaned in to kiss his head, but Danny evaded her and briskly walked away and up the stairs. He could feel Jazz walking behind him. He could hear his parents conversing in low voices.

He entered his room and closed the door. He leaned against it for a moment, his eyes closed.

So much, too much.

Would this go away, revert?

Could it?

If he ignored this pain, would it subside on its own?