Ch 1:

When the Ritual Begins

So I decided not to do an Epilogue for I Swear I thought I Dreamed Her…because, this picks up right where that left off. This should be fun y'all! Plot to come, I promise, but for now…let them eat metaphorical cake!

The lights in the medbay were grating at his eyes and the acrid smell of the bacta on his skin was enough to make him dizzy, but they were home. Finally. Even Cassian had to admit that the base at Yavin IV was a place he didn't think he would ever see again. A part of him had thought Scarif would be the end. That it was a true suicide mission.

Jyn had barreled into his life like the harbinger of death…and he had been willingly led. A man who once shot an informant in cold blood to save his own skin had faced death without fear…for her.

But it had turned out that it was life and not death that Jyn Erso was the bringer of. She'd given him back his life in more ways than one…and she was about five and a half months away from giving him another's.

Speaking of Jyn. Where was she? He vaguely recalled her frantic pleas to the medical droids who took him when they landed. She'd refused to be separated from him…but that wasn't half as bad as how angry she'd been when those same droids shoved IV needles into her arms and told her pregnant women were not to let themselves get so dehydrated. She had mentioned trying to keep it quite around the base for a little while longer…and the droids were doing her no favors.

It brought a fond smile to his face. His Jyn. His future wife. Their lives would never be boring, of that he was certain.

"You're awake!" It was a male voice, one that he was coming to expect as unlikely as it seemed.

He craned his neck to look at Galen Erso. "I am. How long was I out?"

The scientist gave a one shouldered shrug. "Day and a half. You were bleeding internally something fierce."

Cassian nodded and slowly forced himself into a somewhat upright position. His muscles were sore with disuse. He needed to get out of this bed.

He surveyed Galen. A datapad rested on his thighs. He looked well-rested and a bit less haunted. Cassian's eyes snagged on the thick metal cuff around his wrist, complete with blinking lights. "Why are you wearing a monitor?"

Galen chuckled, "I am under house arrest, as it were. I have given my statement to the council…the rest is in their hands. I was told that if my plan pans out and the Death Star is destroyed my trial will be suspended indefinitely."

"I'm sorry they still don't believe you…after everything." Cassian said. How had he worked with these people for two decades and never seen how thick headed they could be? Had he been that bad?

Galen gave a wistful smile. "I don't think stealing a ship to come rescue you won me any favor."

"Well, I appreciate it…and so does Jyn. That's all that matters."

"Quite right."

"Where is she?"

"Sleeping. She ordered me to take her place keeping vigil at your side—it was the only way any of us could convince her to rest." Galen said taking the datapad and rising from his chair. "I'd offer to wake her up for you…but I suspect you would rather go do that yourself. Let's get you up."

It felt strange accepting his help. The only real father figure in his life had been Draven, and he hadn't come around until Cassian's teens. He wasn't sure Galen could be that to him…he wasn't sure he even needed him to be that…but for Jyn's sake, he needed to find somewhere for Galen Erso to fit.

He was on his feet, testing his balance and finding, to his surprise, that he felt better than he had in a long time when another voice, low and full of authority rang through the medbay. "Andor!" Cassian caught a flash of white robes and dark hair. Princess Leia was headed straight for him, a wide grin emerging. "I don't see you for a couple years and you turn yourself into some kind of martyred hero? I never thought I'd see the day." She threw her arms about his neck and squeezed.

"I guess I was waiting for the right cause." His eyes shifted between her and Galen.

Leia wasn't looking Galen's way at all. In fact, there was something almost icy in her posture.

"I'll leave you two to talk." Galen said before ducking out.

Leia didn't bid him goodbye or acknowledge his departure in any way. Cassian tried not to think too hard on that. What would people say when he married the man's daughter?

"The council wants to speak with you now that you're awake." Leia said. "You and the rest of Rogue One."

Cassian ran his hands through his hair and fell into step beside the Princess who was already moving to the exit. "Can I get cleaned up first? I smell like cleaning solution."

"I suppose." She teased. "I need to round up my people anyway. I just wanted to come fetch you personally and see with my own two eyes that you are in fact the same man I used to know…going rogue Cassian? I have to say, I'm impressed. I didn't think you had it in you to stick it to the council. I wish I could've been here to see it."

Cassian grinned. "Well, I had help."

"Yes, another thing I have to see with my own eyes. I've heard all the rumors about you and Jyn Erso. Are they true?"

He shrugged, "I don't know what exactly you've heard." He didn't miss the roll of her eyes or the subtle lift of her brow. It struck him then how similar Leia and Jyn were and he decided it would be his mission to introduce them. They'd hate each other or love each other and he hoped it would be the latter. "I've heard some rumors myself about you and Solo…are those true?"

"I don't know what exactly you've heard." She mimicked as she skipped away.

At last, Cassian was free to go to the one person he had been dying to see.

He made his way to his quarters, knowing she'd be there. The Alliance had never given her quarters of her own, and neither of them had bothered to rectify that. He punched in the code to his door and paused at the sight before him, his breath leaving his body in a quick whoosh.

Jyn was in his bed, wearing one of his shirts and nothing else. She was curled on her side, one hand resting on the swell of her stomach which was now bordering on noticeable. He drafted to her side, content to just watcher sleep. He hated to wake so he settled for kneeling beside the bed and softly talking to his daughter.

He was telling her a story about his childhood, one of the few he remembered that wasn't bloodstained when he heard Jyn stir.

"Jabba, really Cassian?"

He grinned up at her. "You have to admit his skin is fascinating."

She shook her head and reached out to haul him by the collar. She pulled him halfway on top of her and fused her lips with his. They stayed like that for a long wonderful moment until Cassian reluctantly pulled back, "Mmmmm…I missed you." He mumbled against her lips, "but…unfortunately, the Council needs to see us right away. I was sent to get you."

Jyn rolled her eyes and jutted out her bottom lip. "But you just woke up. I've been without you for thirty-six hours…and it's been even longer since…" She peeked up at him through her lashes. She knew what that look did to him.

Now, there was a situation that needed dealt with and it was all Jyn's fault. "I did tell Leia I was going to shower before the meeting. You could help me…"

They shared a grin and Jyn said, "Race you." Then she was gone and the 'fresher was running and Cassian was laughing and it all felt surreal.

They were still tangled together beneath the spray when the alarms sounded. "What the kriff?" Jyn said extracting herself from Cassian's arms.

Cassian switched off the water, face screwed up in concentration. "We need to get to the war room—now!" He said. "Come on." They fumbled over each other in their haste to dress, neither of them quite used to living with another person. With only a few loud curses and errant elbows to the side, they were out the door.

The halls were a flurry of passing bodies, muttered curses, searching eyes and then, they were in the war room. The entire council—what was left of it— was assembled, though certain absences left holes…some bigger than others.

They were angrily tossing around panicked declarations, eerily similar to the scenes she'd witnessed before Scarif. Did these people ever agree on anything? No wonder Saw left.

She squeezed into the group beside Cassian who, to Jyn's surprise, was beside none other than Princess Leia.

"What's going on?" She had to practically shout to be heard.

"The Death Star is on the other side of Yavin." Leia answered without turning her eyes from the unfolding debate.

Jyn had to brace herself on the edge of the table to keep from doubling over. The words Not Again on loop in her head. It was her own father's voice that pulled her out of it and dragged her back to the debate.

"The exhaust port is real. All he has to do is hit it." Galen argued.

"Oh, is that all? Simple as that?" Draven countered.

"It's in Skywalker's hands now." Dodonna.

"He'll make the shot." Said Leia, her voice silencing the crowd.

Draven leveled his gaze on Galen, "Erso, you better hope for your own sake that he does." It was an empty threat, even Jyn could feel it, and yet the icy stares directed at her father remained. As if this were all his fault. Couldn't they see what an assist he could be if he was working on their side? She supposed he had to earn their trust as much as she had had to—and was still trying to.

The Council disbanded at some point though no one really left. Everyone hovered around the comms stations like moths around a flame, eager to hear any news of what was going on. Cassian took her hand and led her to Bodhi and the others. Leia followed. They all went to the hangar and out into the dusty terrain of the jungle moon where the Death Star was just visible on the horizon.

Jyn had to look away. It was a sight she was all too familiar with. Part of her wondered what had possessed Cassian to drag them all out here. From the looks of the group, Bodhi, Baze and Chirrut were equally put off by the sight. Others had trickled out to join them. Rebels not involved in the aerial battle that was invisible to them on the ground. Rebels who hadn't been to Scarif. Rebels who, until this very moment, could only conceive of the Death Star as a vague idea.

"We are going to watch and witness the moment that thing explodes." Cassian said with determination that Jyn just didn't feel.

Chirrut struck his staff against the earth a few times in solidarity. Baze and Bodhi remained stoic.

Leia was worrying at her lip. Jyn watched as Cassian whispered something to the Princess and she nodded, turning grateful but worried eyes to him. Cassian returned to Jyn, hand cupping the back of her neck in a way that was now both expected and comforting.

"Luke is up there and so is Solo…she's worried." He said in explanation to Jyn, not that she'd asked. Though, she had been curious. She hadn't realized Cassian and the Princess were so close. She'd have been jealous if not for the way Cassian's hands never stopped touching some part of her. They were at her back, or reaching for her own hands, or rubbing her neck. He was always seeking out contact with her, reassuring them both that they were together for now and forever.

She was grateful that it was he who initiated that aspect of their relationship. She didn't know how to do that…how to be there. But Cassian did and she was more than happy to bask and follow his lead.

She suddenly felt dizzy, a wave of ever-present nausea rushing over her. Not now. Cassian picked up on it and pulled her to a nearby rock. He sat and pulled her onto his lap. His hands settled on her abdomen. Whether he meant to do it or not she didn't know, but Leia saw and made a shocked face at them…and that would be the end of discretion, Jyn was sure.

"I wish we were up there." Bodhi said as they all watched.

"Me too." They echoed.

"None of us are cleared for active duty. Draven said something about pending psych evaluations." Bodhi said. "I think they are tired of us stealing their ships."

"I think you're right." Chirrut agreed with his signature smirk.

"I've had enough psych evaluations for a liftime…none quite as memorable as Saw's." A haunted memory passed behind Bodhi's eyes and Jyn reached out and took his hand. She meant it to be some sort of apology for her foster father's behavior but it became just a way to comfort her friend. A connection between two equally broken people.

The moment it happened was everything Scarif should've been.

The victory cries, the tears they should've shared on the trip home were here now…but they were bittersweet. So many had died on the beaches of Scarif, so many who couldn't be here now.

Her father's creation exploded in the sky, black flecks reining down like a shower of stardust.

They clutched each other. All of them. They had been Rogue One before, but they had been so separately. Their alliance so fragile and new. Now, Rogue One solidified in a permanent way. Their bodies worked together to support them all, lest they melt into a giant puddle on the ground. There was no Jyn, no Cassian, no Bodhi, Baze or Chirrut…there was only Rogue One, and Jyn felt something fundamental shift among them.

They belonged to one another now.

A family.

For the first time, she felt she really understood what that meant.

She noticed Leia lurking on the fringes of their group embrace and she broke the chain to invite her in. The Princess jumped willingly into the fray.

That night the base was transformed into a celebration like Cassian had never imagined. They had never really had anything to celebrate until then. He surprised they knew how.

There was even talk of another medal ceremony for Solo and Skywalker…which Cassian had to balk at. He could imagine the prancing that would ensue from Solo. He'd have to talk to Leia about that—make sure she knew what she was getting herself into.

At some point, he found himself standing around with his crew, plus Leia, Skywalker and Solo himself. Jyn was beside him, happily chatting with Baze and Chirrut. Bodhi was sneaking glances at Skywalker…and Cassian thought he might've caught the boy reciprocating. Solo, was glaring…at Cassian. So, he glared back.

Then, the smuggler turned his eyes to Jyn. He sidled up to her and flashed her a shameless grin. "So, they tell me your quite the firecracker with a truncheon. I'd like to see that." He said, peering at her over the rim of his cup.

Jyn looked flustered. "Are you flirting with me?"

Solo choked on his drink and leaned a little closer. Cassian barely heard him whisper, "I'm trying to make the Princess jealous, roll with it."

Jyn laughed. "You're barking up the wrong tree my friend. I'm as good as married."

As the words left Jyn's lips, Leia's eyes widened. "Married? Cassian, you didn't tell me that!"

He shrugged. "I'm sorry I couldn't find time between the almost dying and the almost dying." He came up behind Jyn and wrapped his arms around her, pressing her back against his chest. "Surprise!" He said. Maybe he needed to slow down on the whiskey…he was feeling a little more share-y than normal…also a little more hands-y and Jyn was wearing far too much clothing.

"Does the Council know?" Leia interrupted his thoughts—which was probably a good thing—they were headed nowhere appropriate in a group this large.

"Not yet." Cassian said.

"And we'd like to keep it that way…for now." Jyn added blinking up at him for confirmation.

Leia held up her hands, "I won't say anything."

"I might." Solo smirked, earning his a slap on the chest from Leia.

"He won't." She said flatly. "So, when are we doing this? You know I'm helping you plan it right?"

Cassian faltered. They hadn't really talked about it, hadn't had time. He hadn't even given her the ring yet. He'd surprised himself when he asked her…not that he regretted it. "I think we need a minute still. There's a few things to take care of first."

"Which reminds me." Said Jyn. "I'll be right back. Bodhi?" She jerked her chin toward the dance floor. "I promised Bodhi a dance." She said and it was a watery excuse even for her. Especially with Bodhi staring at her like she'd sprouted a third eye.

"What was that all about?" Bodhi asked as Jyn pulled him toward the dance floor.

"Spur of the moment." She said, "All that wedding talk reminded me about something." She reached into her pocket and pulled out one of the back-up tapes she'd found in Cassian's quarters. When Kay said he hid them what he meant was that they were in a neatly labelled manilla envelope in the dresser.

"Do you think you can help me track down my finance's best man before the wedding?"

Bodhi grinned as he moved Jyn awkwardly around the dance floor. "I think I could do that."

"You're good people, Bodhi rook." She said. She tried not to flinch when he stepped on her toes and pretty soon they were both laughing at their sheer inability to move with any semblance of grace.

It was all fun and games until she spied Cassian and Leia approaching. Cassian scooped the Princess into his arms and proved, once again, that there was nothing he couldn't do. Jyn searched for Solo, certain he'd have steam coming out of his ears…and she wasn't wrong. Chirrut and Baze, in a rare moment of displayed affection were dancing as well…very discreetly, but still.

She even caught Shara and Kes joining the couples. Kes gave her a thumbs up over his wife's shoulder. In all the commotion, she realized she hadn't seen her father since the war room. She considered going to look for him but that was thwarted by Cassian asking if he could cut in. About time, she thought.

His deep lilting baritone caressed her ears and the smell of whiskey accompanied it. "I've been waiting to do this all night."

"Dance with me? No one was stopping you."

"Got me all worked up watching you dance with another man…even if it was Bodhi." He said. They were already moving. Cassian leading her with much more certainty than Bodhi could've managed.

"You and Leia were causing quite a scene yourselves. Where did you learn to dance?"

"That is a story you will never get out of me." His chuckle rumbled against her chest where they were pressed together. Suddenly, she was aware of every inch of him that was against her from cheek to hip. His hands had abandoned her waist and were making their way lower on her hips, and the things he was whispering in her ear were downright sinful.

Jeron is back, she thought with amusement. This was the man she'd met that night in the bar. The man she'd fallen head over heels for without even realizing it.

Her eyes scoured the room for an alcove, anywhere they could go…the closer the better. It didn't even need to be that private. Kriff, she was ready to rip his clothes off right here on the dance floor, onlookers be damned.

"Hold that thought." She told him as she grabbed his hand and pulled him toward the hall. The moment the door to the commissary closed behind them they were stumbling together, joined at the lips, down the darkened hallway. She had his shirt completely unbuttoned and her hair was free of its restraints when a throat cleared nearby. They froze and slowly looked up to see Draven, Mon Mothma, and General Dodanna gaping at them. Of the three, at least Mon Mothma looked amused. But the men looked impatient at best.

"Andor. Erso." She greeted.

"Senator. Generals."

They all nodded. Jyn wasn't sure who moved first but they were all blessedly going their separate ways in the blink of an eye. Cassian was giddy. His laughter lifting the weight that settled in her stomach.

"Did you see Draven's face?" He laughed harder.

"So much for keeping it quiet." She grumbled.

Cassian didn't even bother to respond. He pushed her into a darkened hall just off the main one and pressed her up against the wall. The commissary door was less than five yards away. Anyone could walk out at any moment…and Cassian didn't seem to care. In fact, he seemed to be enjoying it…and so was she to be honest.

It echoed their first time together in every way, desperate and rushed. Clothes weren't removed, only pushed aside enough to allow access. Cassian did unbutton her shirt enough to expose her breasts for his lips to explore, but that was the extent of their undressing.

At one point, a group of officers did come out of the commissary and amble down the hall. Cassian clamped a hand over her mouth to stifle the nosies she was making, the noises he was causing, but he didn't cease his frantic movements. That was what undid her. She cried out behind the shield of his hand and that set off his own cried—those not so muffled.

After, he lowered her gently back to her feet and he took his time rebutting her shirt, gazing into her eyes the entire time. Neither of them spoke. They didn't need to. The look in his eyes told her everything she needed to know.

They stumbled back into the celebration and plopped down at a table the others had claimed. Jyn was sure they looked and smelled like exactly what they'd just done. She was sure the others knew exactly what that was. She desperately wanted to duck under the table and hide…but the look on Cassian's face stopped her.

He was in his element. Smiling, talking, a bit drunk, at ease. This was what they'd all fought for. Nights like this. The right to have them.

Galen watched the celebration for as long as he could stomach it. Too soon though, he found himself out amongst the trees, his face wet from tears. It was over. Thirty something years of his life had led to that one moment.

Over.

Lyra gave her life for it.

Jyn almost did too.

He certainly had.

The only thing stopping him from ending it all now, from joining Lyra was his granddaughter.

Not that he didn't love Jyn or want to be part of her life…but he couldn't help but feel that their time had passed. There was something in her eyes when she looked at him, a mistrust that he never wanted to live long enough to see. A rift he wasn't sure he could ever heal.

He'd seen them on the dance floor before he slipped out. Jyn didn't need him. She'd found a man—a good man—who loved her as he'd loved Lyra. A man who would give her children and be there to raise them and never abandon them. If anything, Galen felt like he was in the way. Like he was a shadow casting darkness on their new budding lives.

He would always be the reminder of a tragedy that should've never occurred.

"You're looking mighty lonely out here, Galen." Mon Mothma's voice behind him should've surprised him but nothing really did that any more.

"I'm not much for celebrating these days."

"Neither am I." She agreed as she came to stand at his shoulder. "It's hard to do when there's so much blood on our hands." He couldn't say which one of them she was talking about.

"War is never pretty." He said. "Doesn't matter what side your standing on."

"And this war is far from over. You know, before all of this, I wanted to be a historian. I never saw myself standing here, leading the Senate of all things. I imagine you can relate. You were a scientist who found yourself standing on the deck of the greatest and most terrible achievement of modern science."

"Not the best legacy to leave behind is it?" He said with a detached sort of smile.

"Fortunately for you, it's not your only legacy. You have Jyn…and from the looks of it a grandchild on the way." She was as perceptive as the rumors gave her credit for and Galen found that he respected Mon Mothma, more than a lot of the Council members. "She's a remarkable young woman."

"I can't claim that either. I didn't raise her."

"You did enough. Let yourself believe that." She nudged his shoulder and said. "I hear they have Corellian whiskey in there. I'm not sure I'm quite brave enough to face the party alone but…I could be persuaded by the right escort. Come back inside with me? Fight to die another day?"

He laughed because he had to do something. He couldn't blink at her in surprise or give away any more of his inner secrets. So he laughed and nodded and they went back, and as far as olive branches went—well, she'd just given him a whole tree.