He would want it to be unexpected. But it wasn't. It was long time coming. And that was the worst part.

Until today Hiccup Horrendous Haddock the Third didn't have everything he wanted. But of course it was the question of time. Gods love Hiccup.

Until today there was one thing in which they were equal – none of them was dating Astrid Hofferson. Well, they weren't exactly equal, that was clear, but until today it wasn't official. Yeah, she would kick him in the face for just trying to get close to her, and hug and kiss and touch Hiccup on the regular basis, but it at least wasn't official and Snotlout could enjoy thinking about all the struggles and insecurieties she was giving Hiccup.

That was desperate, and he knew that. He was never Hiccup's rival, he wasn't stupid enough to think that. Well, he was, but a long time ago, when he still had troubles believing the Useless became the village's hero.

It was at the Thawfest, when he could feel like a real threat to Hiccup. Like they were equal. Like they really could compete over something. Like Hiccup would take him seriously. Like anyone would.

Since the it was just him slowly realising nobody cared anymore what he did, and everybody was looking up to Hiccup. In one eventful day a few years ago definition of a perfect viking switched from Snotlout to Hiccup and his own father would prefer to have Hiccup for a son. He would give much more than a leg for his father approval, Hiccup was lucky it only took one limb for him. Gods love Hiccup.

If he could turn back time, he would. They would still be killing dragons and he would be the most popular and loved viking that there is. The strongest, the bravest and most handsome of them all.

What did he gain from ending the war anyway? A dragon that have never liked him. Amazing.

It's not fair anyway that Stoick started to like his son after Hiccup did everything opposite than was told. It's just freaking outrageous. He have had always listened to his father! Never dared to oppose him, he was a good son! He was a good son!

Everyone preffered Hiccup over him. Even still remember how hardcore and cool Dagur used to be, still is. And whose brother is Dagur now?

He would say, that when Dagur wanted to personally kill Hiccup it was better, because there still was at least one person that hated this scrawny little lapse of nature, but it wasn't. No one ever wanted to personally kill him. Not even a little bit of attention in this field.

And why does Hiccup has to be so tall and good-looking now, making him look ridiculous? Wasn't it enough Hiccup made him look ridiculous in every other way already? Without being so cute and hard to hate?

And since today he will have to see Hiccup and Astrid sucking each other faces whenever they could, whereever they could. How did he know that? Easily, if he was dating Astrid he would use it to the fullest. Normally he would have tried to laugh at Hiccup, suggest, that Hiccup probably doesn't know what it means, spending life in books and smithy and being incomplete man or something. Anything that works, really. But the true was, Hiccup probably knew better than him, having girlfriend and all, before he have even ever kissed a girl. Making that joke would make only Hiccup laugh, or worse, make Astrid laugh. That would confirm too much and he doesn't want to know anything for sure.

And by gods, he can already hear his father asking: „Wasn't it the girl you were pining for?" „Yes it was, but Hiccup has all the things I want, haven't you noticed already?"

What's so amazing about Hiccup anyway, he doesn't even have all the legs he should! Can't you see that, people?

They can. And that's a problem. It's a daily reminder of how heroic the precious Hiccup is and how the brave Hiccup sacrificed for all of us. Metal leg represents all that is wrong with the world. It should've been him, who is the hero admired by all for slaying a dragon the size of a mountain and dating the hottest chick. It's like they've exchanged lifes at some point.

Wasn't it enough for Hiccup to be the future chief? Wasn't Hiccup special enough? Had Hiccup just had to be better that everybody else more? Had he had to prove that gods love him?

Damn Hiccup, Hiccup's night fury, metal leg and cute hair. Damn Astrid. He might as well date Ruffnut. What's the difference anyway. Well, there is one. Astrid is mean as hell to anyone that doesn't fly a black legendary dragon. Maybe normal people have too many legs for her or something.

That's a good one, but he'll have to remember not to tell it when she's around. She can't take a good leg joke. Or any leg joke, really. She just goes mad and crazy for no reason.

Damn both of them. Damn Hiccstrid.