A/N: Hi all! Well... We made it. The final chapter. My goodness, I honestly never thought I'd get here when I started this little thing. But you guys are all so incredibly inspiring and lovely with all your support, and for that I can't thank you enough. From the bottom of my heart, thank you all so very much. I love writing with these characters and it makes it all the more rewarding and fulfilling knowing you all love them just as much as I do.
Even though this story is done now, I do plan on writing more stories with Kara and Alex. As much as I still love Supergirl, I feel that it's lost a lot of the Danvers sister moments that made me fall in love with it in the first place. So if you guys want to send me prompts for Danvers sister oneshots, or even prompts for full-fledged stories, send them! I have a few ideas that I might run with, but if you guys have something you'd like to see, I'd be more than happy to try to bring it to life.
Again, thank you all for sticking this out with me. You're beautiful. And I really hope the end of this little tale satisfies and makes you smile. Onwards and upwards!
I'm seriously thinking Hamilton messed up the dosage for my pain medication when I wake up and it's dark out. The DEO is quiet, the kind of quiet that comes with the graveyard shift, when everything seems slow and somewhat dreamlike. Lights seem dimmer, sounds more muffled, voices pitched lower. A glance at the clock on the wall confirms it's way too early.
I move to roll just a little to alleviate some of the pressure on my left hip. As I move, biting my lip to keep from whimpering at the ache in my ribs, the empty chair next to my bed comes into view. For a split second my heart thumps in panic until my eyes move to the window, where Kara sits curled on another chair. She's staring outside with distant eyes.
I watch her for a moment, the way the moonlight catches in her blonde hair, turning it silvery white. Her eyes take on a shade of such light blue they almost look electric. And she's tucking her lip in, biting it.
"Are you okay?" I whisper. I had assumed that she knew I was awake, she could hear the change in my heartrate and breathing. But she startles in surprise at the sound of my voice and a pit of worry grows in my stomach. What thoughts are going through her head that consume her so much?
"You should be sleeping," Kara whispers back. I don't miss the fact that she won't look directly at me. She shifts in her seat, subtly turning so her face is away from me.
I sit up a bit against the mountain of pillows. "So should you," I say. "I think I've slept enough, anyway."
"Sleep more." Her eyes are trained outside, but she swipes a finger under them.
My heart cracks. "You're crying."
"No, I'm not."
"Kara."
She stops fidgeting, breathes a quiet breath. But she doesn't say anything.
"What's wrong?" I ask. I move to sit up a little more and a hiss escapes despite my efforts to bite it back.
Kara is immediately up and out of her chair, over to the side of the bed. "Alex, you need to take it easy," she says. She pushes a gentle hand against my shoulder, but I don't lay completely back down.
"What's wrong?" I ask again.
"Nothing." Her voice is hard and cold, but her lip quivers just the slightest bit. "Now go back to sleep."
She moves to retreat back to the chair by the window, but I snatch her hand before she can make the first step. "Talk to me," I say. "What's going on with you?"
Kara just stands there for a moment, staring at our joined hands like she's not comprehending what she's seeing. Slowly, uncertainly, she sinks into the chair by the bed. But she just trains her eyes on the bedspread and doesn't say anything.
The growing pit of worry in my stomach flips. "Kara?" I give her hand a gentle squeeze.
She shakes her head. "Just thinking about… stuff."
My stomach twists and writhes so violently it almost feels like nausea. I don't want to be here, I don't want to have this conversation yet. I want to go back to this afternoon. I want to go back to listening to her talk and giggle and the feeling of holding her hand and having her near. I want to go back to our childhood, when I had her and she had me and that was the only thing that really mattered to us in the end.
"What kind of stuff?" I force out. But of course I already know. My throat is closing up with dread.
Kara glances up at me and away, down to where, underneath the blankets, my ribs and stomach are wrapped up tight. "Do you know how your ribs got broken?" she asks suddenly. "And why you were bleeding internally?"
What? Where is she going with this? "Yeah," I say, and it sounds like a question. "I kinda got thrown through a wall by a cyborg and-"
"It wasn't because of Henshaw," Kara interrupts. She stares down at the bedspread, eyes beginning to shine, jaw clenching. "You were bruised, but nothing was broken yet."
"What are you- I don't-"
"It was from me hitting you so hard," she blurts. "When I tackled you, before… I-I heard the crack and… I was…" She looks up at me, tears dangling from her eyelashes. "You're only here because-"
"No," I snap. "Don't do that. This isn't your fault."
"But it was," she says miserably. "If I hadn't-"
"I would have died," I say over her. "You said so yourself earlier today. If you hadn't been there I would have died. And who knows how many others. None of this is your fault, Kara."
She shakes her head stubbornly. "I could have… I almost…" Her eyes come up to meet mine, miserable and heartbroken. "I don't want to cause any more damage, Alex. I-I can't."
It takes me one horrible split second to grasp what she's saying, to realize that her hand is sliding away from mine. My heart shatters and my throat closes so tight I can't breathe.
"Kara, no," I rasp in a voice that sounds like I'm being choked. I reach out and snatch her hand back before she can move any farther. "Don't. Don't do this again."
She doesn't pull away, but she won't look at me either. Her shoulders are taut like a coiled spring, ready to run, eyes dripping with tears. "I don't want to hurt your family," she whispers.
"My family is your family," I insist desperately, clinging to her hand with everything I have. "It's our family, Kara. And we need you-"
"But think about what your life could have been," Kara says, voice trembling. "You would have been the best doctor. Cured cancer or something. You would have been so great at it. And Jeremiah… You'd have your dad and…"
She tugs against my hold on her hand and I hang on to her. "We never would have been whole without you," I say.
Kara shakes her head with a tortured smile. "You would've been fine. And you'll be fine now."
"No, I won't!" I exclaim. Kara moves to pull away with a shake of her head and I crush her hand. Tears burn in my eyes, blurring my vision of her crumbling face. "Please, Kara, don't do this to me again. Please. I can't do this without you anymore." The thought alone sends pangs shooting through my chest and the tears drip over my cheeks. I can't, I can't, I can't.
"Yes you can," she murmurs gently. "You'll be fine. More than fine. And when you get Jeremiah back-"
"I don't want him back without you," I say, and she glances up at me sharply with disbelief written all over her face. "I don't. We'd still be a family member short."
"But you said if I-"
"What I said to you wasn't true," I interrupt. "And I'm so so sorry."
In the midst of the swirling agony and fear crashing through me in waves, there's a pressure in my heart that releases. I finally get to say all the things I'd wanted to over the past month. She finally gets to hear what she deserves to hear.
The truth.
"You have always been a part of my family, no matter what." I run my thumb over her knuckles. "And you have never ever damaged us, okay? Not now, not when you came to us, not when Dad joined the DEO, never. You made us whole, Kara."
She stares at me for a heart-wrenching moment, desperation leaping out of her eyes, then looks back out the window with a shuddering breath. Tears are streaming down her face and her lip is trembling beyond her control. Her shoulders slump against the weight of the world and I wish so much that I could take it from her. I wish it every single day. I'm reminded again of the little girl who showed up at my house all those years ago. Lonely, scared, desperate for love.
"Look at me," I say. And when she doesn't right away, I give her hand a gentle shake. "Kara, look at me."
Her shining blue eyes finally come up to meet mine and my chest splits at the soul-deep sadness in them. I squeeze her hand, struggling to breathe past my own aching heart. "Please come home," I murmur quietly. It's all I can manage. "I need my little sister back. Please."
I know I have no business asking this of her. I know I broke her heart, I know I hurt her too deep and she would be fully within her rights to walk out that door and never come back. And that knowledge cuts so sharply, makes me want to scream with it. I need her home, I truly don't think I can take any more of life without her. I really don't know what I'll do, how I'll survive, if she walks away now.
"Do you really mean that?" Her voice is so quiet I barely hear her. "You really… Do you mean it?"
I nod earnestly. "Every word. I promise." Please, Kara. Please don't go.
After a moment of holding my gaze, she gasps out quiet sob and her fingers finally clench gently around mine. "'Cause I don't think I can do it anymore, either," she sniffles. At the questioning tilt of my head, she gives a tiny, hopeless shrug. "Miss you too much."
The swirling ache of terror dancing in my chest loosens just enough for me to breathe normally. I hold her gaze for a moment, letting that little seed of hope plant itself in my heart, battle the pit of despair. And I shift over on the bed, wincing just a little.
"Alex, stop, you're gonna hurt yoursel-"
"Come up here," I whisper, patting the empty space next to me.
Kara seems to deliberate, and for a split second my heart plummets so quickly I nearly double over with the pain of it. But then she huffs out a sigh and climbs onto the bed, nestling next to me when I curl my arm around her shoulders. I run my hand over her hair and she breathes out a shaky breath against the side of my neck.
"I'm so so sorry," I whisper.
Kara sniffles and tucks her face against my shoulder. "Me too," she breathes. She carefully wraps both arms around my waist, holding me in a gentle hug. I rub my hand over her shoulders, trying to soothe her trembling.
For a long, long while, I just hold her and rub her shoulders until she slowly stops shaking. Her face stays tucked against me and I run my hand through her hair, let my cheek rest against her head and close my eyes. I think she might be asleep, and even though we're scrunched onto the little hospital bed, I won't wake her to kick her off. There's no way.
"Alex?" Her voice, though it's quiet, makes me jump.
"Yeah?" I say, rubbing her back.
Her voice is sheepish and almost apologetic. "I, um… I kinda don't have an apartment anymore."
My heart floods with warmth and an almost-silent chuckle escapes me. "Well, I happen to have an extra bedroom in mine."
"I don't want to-"
"Kara, it's your home too," I say, giving her a squeeze. "Always has been. You can stay with me until you get another place. Or forever, either one works."
She shakes with a giggle. "Make sure you and Maggie keep it PG, then."
I grin and can't help giving her another squeeze. "No promises."
Kara groans dramatically and pushes her face more firmly against me. "Gross." But there is a smile in her voice and more warmth inflates my heart. Both my girls under the same roof, what more could I ask for?
I press my face against her hair and close my eyes against the sudden burning in them. But for once, I don't feel like my chest is being split open. I don't feel like I can't breathe past the weight of missing my sister. I'm breathing easier now than I have in weeks, and my heart is finally whole and full.
"I love you, Kara," I whisper against her hair. More than you will ever know.
Kara's grip on me tightens the slightest bit, and she breathes out a long sigh against me. "I love you, too," she whispers back.
Hamilton lets me go home the next night, only after I swear I will remain in bed for at least a couple more days. Kara and Maggie tell me on the way home that there is a bet going on how long it would take me to weasel my way back into the DEO. But they won't tell me what their bets were.
Maggie and Kara set up the spare bedroom for Kara while I lay like a lump on the couch, feeling useless. But as I watch them talk and laugh together, flit around my apartment for blankets and pillows and Kara raiding my fridge for food, I can't wipe the smile off my face. That warmth in my chest is nearly overwhelming now and I don't ever want it to end.
That night, though, is the first night that I don't feel completely comforted by Maggie's presence in bed next to me. I fidget and can't get comfortable, and it's not because my ribs ache or because my head hurts. I spend too much time staring at the dark ceiling, too many memories from the past few weeks swirling through my mind. That unknown number on the screen, Kara's message, the haze of fear and missing her that cloaked my heart, they all swim in my mind's eye. And I know she's just in the next room and I'm being slightly pathetic, but she's too far away.
With a quiet huff of defeat, I slide out from the blankets, wincing, and pad quietly through the living room. I crack the door to Kara's room, suddenly feeling young and vulnerable again.
The room is dark and quiet, save for Kara's even breathing. Just seeing her curled up there, her hair spilling out across the pillow and the blankets rumpled around her, eases the tension in my heart. Feeling like a little girl again, I crawl onto the bed, carefully pulling the blankets around me, trying not to wake her.
But like me, she is a light sleeper. Her breath hitches and she shifts, some half-asleep mumble of "you okay?" whispering from her lips.
I brush the back of my hand against her cheek. "Yeah," I whisper. "Go back to sleep."
Kara sighs sleepily and, eyes still closed, rolls over and tucks herself against me. Her face nestles under my chin and she breathes out another sigh.
I kiss her forehead and close my eyes, vaguely thinking that this is what being whole feels like. This is what home feels like.