A/N: Hello hello! Last Supergirl episode kinda broke my heart. Like a lot. And I felt I wanted to expand a bit on what the consequences could have been of the fight Kara and Alex had about Jeremiah. I think what Alex said to Kara has the potential to really tear a rift between the two and I hate it.

So, context for this piece. In my mind, this happens perhaps a couple weeks after the events of "Homecoming." Alex and Kara haven't really spoken to each other in that time and both keep their distance. And while Alex misses Kara, she kinda realizes it a bit too late. I'm thinking of making it a couple chapters because of course I have to give them a happy ending. They deserve it, dammit! What do you guys think?

A voicemail from an unknown number. Part of me considers deleting it. If it's an unknown number it must not be that important. But there's some tiny, whispering part that compels me to tap my way into the voicemail box and que it up.

"Alex? It's me."

Kara's voice. My knees almost buckle with the unexpected wave of longing. When's the last time I heard her voice? I can't remember.

"It's Kara," she adds, like she's afraid I wouldn't recognize her. Her voice is so tight, controlled. "Um, I just wanted to call and… um… I have something I have to say and I don't think… Well, anyway."

I sink onto the chair, clutching the phone to my ear and squeezing my eyes shut. "I never told you how sorry I am." Her voice is starting to tremble and break and God it hurts. "I'm really really sorry, Alex. I didn't… I'm… I can't say I wish Clark had chosen another family for me because that's not true. It's selfish of me and I'm so sorry. For your sake, for your family's sake, I do wish he had chosen someone else. I didn't want this for you, or for Eliza… Or Jeremiah. You didn't deserve what happened to you…"

She's crying now. She heaves a shuddering breath, trying to control herself and I find I'm struggling right along with her. My throat is so tight it hurts and my eyes are burning with unshed tears. But she keeps going. "Selfishly, I couldn't have asked for a better family though, Alex. Your family was so so good to me, and I can't thank you enough for everything you and your mom have done. I'm so grateful for the time we had and I wish I could… If there was a way I could…"

The time we had? What is she saying? What is that supposed to mean? Mixing with the ache lancing through my chest is an apprehension that hurts just as bad.

"If I could fix it, I would. I swear I would. I'm so sorry that I can't." Another shuddering, wheezing breath. "I just… Needed you to hear that. Um, tell your mom thank you for me, okay? And be careful. Please please be careful. And… I'll always love you, Alex."

There's a split second pause, and the message clicks off. And my fingers are already flying over the screen, smacking the buttons to call back that unknown number. My hand is shaking so bad I think I might drop it as I hold it up to my ear. "Come on, Kara," I mutter. "Pick up, pick up-"

Beeeep! "The line you have dialed has been disconnected or is no longer in service," says the automated message.

I lunge out of the chair and stumble to the door. I bump through a few agents and hear a couple disgruntled mumbles but I don't care. I don't care. Kara's name is on a loop in my head and my heart is pounding with the panic I'm trying to hold down enough to think.

"J'onn!" I call as I'm stumbling down the stairs. "Have you heard from Kara?"

He turns from the screens on the wall as I skid to a stop by the control table. "No," he says, making it sound like a question. "Well, not really. She said she wasn't coming in today, but besides that-"

"Winn?" I bark, whipping around to face him. "Have you heard from her?"

He doesn't turn from his computer. "Yeah."

"What did she say?" I reach out and yank his chair around so I can see him. His face is blank, cold. "What did she tell you?"

"Why do you care?" he spits. He rises from his chair and suddenly we're toe to toe. I've never seen his eyes blaze like that. "You've done nothing but make sure she's miserable every time she sees you-"

I hold the phone in his face. "She called me and left a message that sounds way too much like a goodbye," I hiss. "If you know something you'd better tell me-"

"You haven't exactly acted like her sister lately so why-"

"Enough! Both of you!" J'onn thunders. Winn and I shoot a glance over at him. He's drawn himself up, glaring at the two of us. "Agent Schott, what do you know?"

Winn plops back in his chair. "She asked me not to say."

I think I might be sick, the terror is twisting my stomach. "Winn if she's-"

He waves a hand. "She's not going to hurt herself, trust me. She's fine."

I hold the phone up again. "Then why would she call me and-" My throat closes up so suddenly as I hear her trembling apologies and her heartbreak in my memory. I swallow and plow on. "Why would she say goodbye to me?"

J'onn's eyes crumble and Winn seems to deflate. They both look at me with sad eyes and as I look between them my chest constricts with the same weight I felt last year when I told her I'd killed Astra. That unbearable weight of grief, of loss. Of missing her so much it steals my breath. The fear of a future without her.

"Winn?" My voice is a whimper. "Please."

Winn shrugs. "All she told me was that she can't stay in National City anymore. And she can't be Supergirl anymore."

There's a beat of silence while I try to catch up. "She can't… What? What does that even mean?"

Winn fixes me with a glare. "What made her come out as Supergirl, Alex? What was the catalyst?"

I'm about to shout at him that it was just because she's good, she's a hero at heart and it was only a matter of time until she did it, but the words lodge in my throat. For a moment, I'm back on that plane, watching through the window as my little sister latches onto the wing, shooting me a desperate glance through the glass. I feel the plane tilting on its side, feel my heart thundering with fear as it slams into the bay, knowing Kara is underneath it. I feel the swell of pride mix with the sheer terror in my chest as she stands on that same wing, soaking wet and beaming.

"The plane…"

Winn waves a hand at me in a there-you-go way. "The plane. The plane that she saved, why? Because her big sister was on it. Take away said big sister and what do you have?"

No. No way. "But I'm right here, that doesn't-"

"But you're not, Alex!" Winn exclaims. "You're not with her anymore! Not since Jeremiah!"

"Even if that were true, she's still Supergirl." For some reason, I need him to understand this. "She never needed me for her to be Supergirl!"

But even as I say it, I remember another goodbye I had to endure from her. One that had ripped my heart to pieces with how final it could have been. Everything good I did… It came from you being my sister.

So if she thought I'd abandoned her…

"She needed you a lot more than you realize, Alex," Winn says. His voice has no heat in it, but I feel every word like a kick in the gut. "She needed you every step of the way. And now…" He shrugs. "I left the place where I lost my family, I don't blame her for leaving the place where she lost hers."