I Won't Say I'm In Love

A Miraculous Fic

By HoneyOpal / luxuriant-starlight

Chapter 1

Adrien was determined.

Like. SERIOUSLY determined.

He'd made up his mind. What he felt for Ladybug had gone on long enough. It had been 3 years already for God's sake. He'd loved her since he was 15 years old, and he was 10000% convinced he'd love her till the day he'd die.

Which could be any day now, considering his rotten luck.

Adrien had been thinking about doing this for a while. He'd contemplated every scenario in which he'd confess his love. Every possible outcome. He'd even practiced a couple times on the huge Ladybug poster on his bedroom wall (that no one was allowed to see, ever).

Well, a few times.

Maybe 5 or 6. Or 100.

Honestly, he'd lost count.

But that's beside the point!

The point is that now, Adrien had finally, FINALLY- after months of research and contemplation- cooked up the perfect algorithm to determine what the best possible way to confess to his darling Ladybug was.

Tonight, while on their bi-weekly patrol, Adrien Agreste will finally confess his undying love for His Lady.

Hopefully, some of her good luck'll rub off on him.

Hopefully.

"Are you sure about this, kid?" Plagg asked, munching on a piece of Camembert while Adrien took his phone out of his pocket so he could take it with him after he transformed and slid on his shoes. "What if she rejects you?"

Adrien rolled his eyes and sighed. "A little faith in me would be appreciated."

"I'm literally the god of bad luck. Forgive me for being a little pessimistic." Plagg responded, "Plus, I'm thousands of years old. I've seen some shit, kid. Just tryna be realistic here."

Adrien furrowed his brow, slightly pouting, and opened the window. "I'll deal with it. Now get in the ring."

Plagg harumphed. "Fine."

"Plagg! Transforme Moi!"

As soon as the transformation rolled down Adrien's body, he leaped out the open window, kicking it shut as he bounded off to see his Lady at their rendezvous point. He was a big boy. He knew the risks of what he was about to do.

But...what if she does reject him?

What if-

It'll be fine, he quickly reassured himself. Ladybug loves you- romantically or otherwise- and that's all you really need anyways.

Besides, he reasoned. We're destined for each other.

Leaping over rooftops with practically lightning fast speed, he arrived at the their meeting spot on the roof of Notre Dam in no time. There, his Lady was waiting for him, eyes trained on the starry horizon, seemingly deep in thought.

She was beautiful. Like, stunningly so. Sky blue eyes, ebony hair. A lean and obviously muscular form- yet still soft and almost chubby in certain places. Her beauty was just...captivating. He could spend hours counting every freckle on every inch of her skin- though he was unfortunately restricted to just the skin on her face and neck by that spandex suit she always wore- starting with the spray of them across her cheeks.

He stood and stared for a moment.

No matter how sure he was this morning that he could do this, nothing could've possibly prepared him for the way his heart skipped a beat and leapt into his throat. The way his stomach sank. The way his legs seemed to get heavier with every step.

No. His brain screamed. You can do this. You made pie charts.

He forced his heart back down into his chest, and stuck that characteristic smirk back on his face.

I made pie charts. I have an algorithm.

Chat stepped forward, and steadied a shaky hand to place on her shoulder, breaking her concentration and making her whip her head around to look at him.

"My Lady." He bowed, and kissed her hand.

"Chat!" Ladybug pouted, furrowing her brow. "Where have you been? You're 30 minutes late."

Cute. All these years, and she still made his cheeks warm. He praised God- or, err, Kwami?- for the mask on his face. He could've melted right there.

The pie charts! His brain nagged.

Right. Instead of melting, he stood straight back up and grinned that Chat-like grin.

"My a-paw-logies, My Lady." Adrien leaned in closer and raised his eyebrows. "Did I make you miss me?"

Ladybug, in typical Ladybug fashion, simply rolled those baby blue eyes. "This may be fun, but this is also our job. Our responsibility. You know that."

"'M sorry. I won't be late next time." He told her, sincerely.

She pursed her lips. "It's okay. Just don't let it happen again, please, Kitty."

"Of course, My Lady." Adrien extended a leather-clad hand, gesturing towards the Parisian skyline. "Shall we?"

She smiled. His heart skipped another beat. "We shall."

The patrol went as the majority of them do- uneventfully. There was no crime in Paris that night- unless you count a rowdy teenage party they had to crash. After a young woman with a crying baby had complained to the superhero duo about the noise, informing them that she had already knocked on the door three times to ask them to keep it down, they walked over and tried their own hand at the teens.

The look on that kid's face when he opened the door and saw Ladybug standing there, with her hands on her hips, not amused- with Chat Noir and the young woman with the baby standing behind her- was priceless. Adrien almost wishes Alya had been here to film it.

The boy quickly apologized and lowered the music- much to the gratitude of the young mother.

Aside from that, Paris seemed to be having a chill Friday night- which Adrien was grateful for, because, had an akuma victim appeared, he wouldn't have the chance to let his Lady know what was on his mind.

By midnight, their patrol was done. He and Ladybug were perched back onto the rooftop of the Notre Dam, just silently enjoying each other's company, Ladybug leaning on his shoulder, eyes trained on the horizon again.

It should've been serene- but Adrien was restless. He'd been anxiously bouncing his legs for the better part of 15 minutes, waiting for the right moment to enact his plan into motion.

He was beginning to have some doubts.

How could he do this? How can he even go about doing this? He can't just confess to her! She's Ladybug! She's smart and funny and brave and sweet and kind and determined and heroic and confident and powerful and-

But you're Chat Noir! His brain chastised him. And you have pie charts!

To hell with pie charts! Graphs are not how you win a girl's affection! Especially not a girl as amazing as Ladybug.

Who was he kidding? What if Plagg was right? What if-

Ladybug sighed, and stood up straight.

"Alright, Chat. What's up?"

"My Lady?" He turned to her, surprised.

"You've been bouncing your leg for leg for 20 minutes now. What has you so restless?" She seemed worried. "You're usually so happy to spend time together after patrol."

"It's nothing." He assured her.

She didn't look convinced. "I'm your best friend. You know you can tell me."

He sighed, standing up before her and taking her hands, pulling her a bit closer. "Ladybug...I…"

"Chat?" She pouted and blinked, batting those long eyelashes at him.

"I...I'll race you to the Eiffel Tower!" He shouted, grabbing his baton and extending it, already bounding towards the landmark.

Adrien heard her groan and call for him, clearly annoyed, but he just laughed, and kept going. She tried to keep up, swinging across lampposts, but couldn't beat him after that head start.

He quickly perched on the top of the Tower, standing triumphantly, awaiting Ladybug's arrival.

"Chat!" She panted. "Why'd you run? Can you please just tell me what's wrong?"

He sighed, his stomach dropping again. No turning back now.

"My Lady," Adrien stepped forward and took her hands in his again. "There's something I have to tell you."

She looked up at him expectantly, those soft, pink lips parted ever-so-slightly. God, she was NOT helping to still his beating heart right now.

"...Becoming Chat Noir was the best thing that ever happened to me." Adrien started. "I'm freer, now. You don't know much about it, but you know I don't exactly have the easiest home situation-"

Ladybug gently squeezed his hands, comfortingly.

"But being Chat Noir allows me to do so many of the things that I'd never be allowed to do as Ad- as my civilian self. I fight bad guys. I do good things. I get to run and jump and make friends and...be myself. For the first time in forever.

"But...the best thing about being Chat Noir isn't the freedom. Or the glory. Or all the food that civilians give me for free. Or all the endless cat puns."

He chuckled at that. She rolled her eyes, but retained that small smile. He carressed her cheek.

"The best thing about being Chat Noir...is being able to be your partner, Ladybug. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me. I can't stop thinking about you. And lately...I can't eat. I can't sleep. I can't do...anything. Because…"

"Chat…"

"Because I need you to know. I love you, Ladybug. Like. Really love you."

Ladybug gasped, softly, and stepped back a bit, releasing her hands from his. She, instead, placed them on herself- one over her open mouth, the other on her chest. There was a pregnant pause while he let her take it all in.

"All this time...all that flirting…?" She asked, after a moment.

He nodded, earnestly.

She sighed, shakily, tears swelling in her eyes. "Oh, Chat...I...I'm sorry-"

His stomach sank. He stepped back.

"But…my heart already belongs to someone else."

"Someone...else?"

Oh.

"Yeah…I'm really sorry. If- if things were different. If there wasn't another guy-"

"No." Chat responded, shakily. "I get it."

She placed a gloved hand on his cheek, a tear running down her own. "I'm sorry."

He pressed himself into her hand, clutching it, but gently returned it to her.

"You can't help how you feel, I guess." He laughed, emptily.

"But I'm-"

"Don't be." He reassured her, gripping her hand again, and wiping the tear from her soft, freckled cheek. "There's nothing to be sorry about."

She looked devastated for him. He felt a twinge of guilt.

"I shouldn't have...done this."

"No. It's okay."

He turned away, readying his baton. "I should go."

"...Are we still friends?"

He didn't look at her. He couldn't meet her eyes. Not right now.

"Best friends. Always."

Before she could formulate a response, he was already gone.

And an idiot.

And once Adrien was sure he was out her eyeshot, he ran. He ran home. He opened his window and, once he was inside, de-transformed, removed his shoes and coat, and dropped himself on his bed.

"Kid…" Plagg started, actually feeling pity for him, for once.

"Don't." Adrien responded, numbly.

Plagg placed a tiny, velvet paw on Adrien's cheek, sympathetically- comforting him the best he knew how.

Adrien sobbed himself to sleep that night.