Notes/Warnings: canon-typical violence, soulmate au, friends to lovers, lots of family feels and fluff with a healthy amount of Drama™.

Pairings: main pairing will be Gaara/OC, but there will be plenty of side pairings, including Sakura/Ino, Shikamaru/Temari, Hana/Anko, Kiba/Kankurō, and others.

["vita ante acta"- a life done before]

"Father?"

"Hm?" Ensui looked down at his son, who had the same serious expression as always. "What is it?"

Tadashi held up his wrist, solemnly presenting the compass drawn there in careful strokes of ink. "It stopped spinning."

"So it has." Ensui gently gripped his son's wrist, pulling it closer so that he could see the markings there. "The needle is still moving quite a bit though, so it likely isn't someone in Konoha."

Tadashi's silence told him that he had already realized that.

"...Is that going to be a problem?"

Ensui sighed, muttering a quick "troublesome", and sat down on the wooden floorboards, pulling his son into his lap. Tadashi went willingly, curling into a little ball and burying his face in his father's chest. For such a standoffish kid, he sure did like to cuddle.

He ran his hand through Tadashi's hair, tugging on the end of his ponytail. He took a second to marvel at how small his son was— only a little older than three years old, and still so fragile. In some ways, he wished that his son would stay this way forever. In others, he just wanted him to grow up already— so that he could figure out how to keep himself safe.

And though Ensui was determined to do everything he could for his son, there were some things that he couldn't change. The choice of his soulmate was one of them.

"I don't know," he answered honestly, addressing the earlier question. "A soulmate is someone who is supposed to match you completely. That can mean a lot of things. Perhaps they'll be the partner you need, or your greatest rival. It's said that Uchiha Madara and Senju Tobirama were soulmates, after all."

Tadashi looked up at him blankly. "Didn't they try to kill each other? Like, all the time?"

Ensui shrugged. "Doesn't change the fact that they were destined to be soulmates."

"That's not very encouraging," Tadashi said, shoulders slumping in dismay.

Ensui blinked, a bit surprised. Tadashi had never seemed very interested in the idea of a soulmate— sure, he'd asked questions about things when they came to him, but he'd never wondered who his soulmate could be, or asked about Ensui's at all. It was more like he'd been interested in the abstract concept of a soulmate, not the actual reality of it.

So this sudden emotion was... unexpected, to say the least.

"I don't know what to tell you," Ensui said, though his voice had gentled. "This person —whoever they are— could become the best thing in the world for you, or the worst. There isn't anything we can do about that. Whatever happens, you'll just have to make the best of it."

"...Alright," Tadashi said finally, bringing his hand close to his chest. He cradled it, then snuggled further into his father's embrace. "I suppose that's fine. I wasn't expecting much anyway."

Ensui huffed. "Geez, you're such a depressing child. What if your soulmate turns out to be the greatest person ever, huh? You don't know."

"Or maybe they'll kill me," Tadashi pointed out, his face cast with a gloomy expression.

Ensui rolled his eyes, but on the inside he was barely resisting a laugh. This kid was a riot. Who would've thought that such an endearing brat could come from a person like him?

Subconsciously, his thumb pressed hard against the compass on his wrist. The faded gray needle was spinning, spinning, spinning. His own soulmate had died many years ago.

"Maybe. I guess that we'll just have to wait and find out."

(|||)

When Ensui had first seen Tadashi, his initial thought had been; oh shit, he looks like me.

This had been a couple of months after Tadashi was born— Ensui hadn't known that he even existed until that moment. Ensui had never dated, never held a long-term relationship. This was not, like the popular opinion, because of the death of his soulmate. He missed her, true, but he hadn't wanted to be in a relationship with her, either. Ensui didn't want to be in a relationship with anyone.

The whole thing just seemed far too troublesome.

He didn't mind some casual sex though, and Tadashi had resulted from that.

Ensui didn't regret it. Tadashi was a pain, but he was Ensui's kid, and he could never regret that.

But in that first meeting, Ensui had been at a loss. What the hell was he supposed to do with a kid?

"If he'd looked normal, I would've kept him," the woman had said, matter-of-factly (Ensui hadn't bothered to remember her name. Honestly, he didn't feel that bad about it). "But he's a Nara, through and through. I don't want to raise a shinobi. He's your responsibility now."

"Uh..." Ensui had replied, very intelligently. "Thanks?"

With that, he'd had a baby dumped in his arms, and a whole new chapter in his life had begun to unfold. It was not an easy one.

Tadashi was a relatively good baby, eating whatever was offered to him and going straight to sleep. But he was always so expressionless. Ensui was never quite sure whether he was doing something wrong— it was impossible to tell with a child that didn't react to anything.

At one point, in complete desperation, he'd brought Tadashi to see Shikaku. His cousin was a lazy ass, sure, but no one could deny his perceptiveness. If anyone could find out why Tadashi was acting this way, it would be him.

"Hm..." Shikaku had studied Tadashi intently, who only stared stoically back. At that, Shikaku had smirked. "Seems to me that he's just a serious little guy. Maybe he's bored? He is a Nara, after all."

Ensui had accepted that answer with nothing else to go by, and just kept on treating his son normally. Tadashi was a Nara. If something was wrong, he'd find a way to communicate that. Ensui had faith in his kid.

As he got older, Tadashi began to walk and speak, still with that same solemn expression. Ensui had long stopped worrying about it, though. Far as anyone could tell, it was just Tadashi's personality.

Ensui still remembered when he had been training with shuriken one day, and had teasingly held one out to Tadashi, dangling it tauntingly, just out of his grasp.

Tadashi had reached up, lighting-quick, and smacked the shuriken out of his father's hand.

"No," he'd said bluntly, giving the man a disapproving look.

Ensui couldn't help himself— he'd burst out laughing.

So, in the end, Ensui had just shrugged and gone along with it.

Tadashi was a good kid. That's all he cared about.

(|||)

Tadashi gently traced his fingers over the compass on his wrist. He rocked back and forth, and watched the needle follow his movements.

It was strange, knowing that something as deep and philosophical as soulmates actually existed in this world. Perhaps not with the same definition as his old world —though, that too was up to debate— but still. He wondered what the science behind it was. Just how were people chosen to have their fates intertwined in this way?

At first, he'd suspected that it was a matter of evolution— that you were paired with the person most likely to help you survive and carry on your family line. But that didn't account for the soulmates who were mortal enemies— or ones that were of the same sex. Usually, that meant that there would be no biological children involved. So, then what?

His current theory was that it was the result of a jutsu, somehow. Tadashi still held a healthy skepticism towards the things that everyone claimed jutsu could do, but he couldn't deny the results. He'd seen people breath fire, or help trees grow, or make their shadows stretch and dance. Jutsus were the real deal, no doubt.

People didn't really seem to ask too many questions about it. To them, it was just a fact of life, something that had always been there. To Tadashi, it was fascinating.

Just think of the possibilities!

What was so important about a compass, for example? Why had the fates decided that it was the proximity of your soulmate that mattered the most? Why not a description, or even a symbol that was unique only to the mated pair?

But even as his excitement was rising, Tadashi's mood came crashing down. He tapped the needle on his wrist, the one that pointed to a soulmate that had just been born. A soulmate outside of the village. Most likely, they would be an enemy. Tadashi might even face them on the battlefield one day.

Selfishly, he wished that he wouldn't.

"I hope you're a good person," he whispered, bending over and resting his forehead on the mark. "I'm not much of a good person myself, but I'm willing to try. That's all that I ask."

Tadashi was grateful for this new life, these new opportunities, but something inside of him was still afraid. He couldn't help but shy away from this new and alien place where things were so different from what he remembered— even the air tasted different, the huge trees of Konohagakure lending a sickly-sweet aftertaste to every breath he took.

Tadashi wasn't sure what he was going to do. He would be a shinobi, sure, but what kind? Did he want to go into medicine or stealth? Did he want to aim for Anbu, or would he just be content as a chūnin? He didn't know. There was so much about this world that he didn't know.

For now, it seemed like he would just have to try his best. That's all that anyone could do, in the end.

notes:

Here it is! The fic I've devoted the last several months of my life towards. (In retrospect, not exactly the best decision.) Regardless, I hope you're all ready! Tadashi has a rough ride ahead of him. :)

Let me know what you think, and feel free to come ask any questions on my tumblr! (Or if you just wanna squeal about Naruto with me, that's cool too.)

[mm-mendell]