Life after you

I'm sorry for everything
For everything I've done
From the second that I was born
Then since I had a loaded gun
And then I shot, shot, shot a hole
Through everything I loved

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YEAR 2010

Dean woke up in another motel room, ready to ignore his brother and pick a hunt. Seven months ago, Sam had started the apocalypse, and even if he decided to welcome him in his life because of the scary future that could happen, the elder hunter was not ready to trust his kid brother yet. Too much water had crossed through the broken bridge that was their relationship, and he was done pretending to be alright with him. For the last weeks, he had been ignoring him, and Sam hadn't argued about that, but welcomed the uncomfortable silence during the road trips or the long nights when Dean decided that he didn't want to get drunk . Dean had forgiven a lot of things in his life, but being ignored and hurt by his brother, that was the most important person in his life, was something that he couldn't let pass. Sam was all that he had, and all that he had was Sam. It had always been like that, until the famous "Ruby-chick" appeared in Sam's life, manipulating him to do what was meant to happen.

Maybe someday he was going to be relatively normal and nice with his brother, or so he hoped. If they could put Lucifer back into the cage again, and stop the killing of innocent people, he promised to himself that he would try to be brothers again. However, that was a big "If".

"I brought you breakfast", said Sam, closing the door of the room, with his clothes all wet because of the rain outside

"About time, I was hungry", replied Dean with cold voice, not really knowing that his brother had gone out at all, but no caring either.

The Winchesters had breakfast in silence, and when the younger brother was done, he opened his laptop and searched for a case to work.

"Hey, I think that we've got a case", said Sam

"Tell me about it", said Dean, not looking at him, but at his coffee. He didn't want to look at him, cause every time he did, felt anger and betray inside him, making him want to punch Sam right in the face.

"Okay. So, there's people falling into a unconscious state for no reason, and the doctors can't find what's producing that. They say that while you are in that state, your body deteriorates, and you die within two or three days", explained Sam

"Where?", asked Dean

"Elk River, Minnesota"

"Let's get going. It'll be a long drive", said Dean while picking up his stuff from the floor, and putting it inside his duffel bag

"Alright. I'll go in a minute. Got to take a leak and pack my stuff", said Sam, knowing that Dean wouldn't pack his stuff anymore. A lot of things had changed between them, and often he found himself wondering why Dean accepted him again. When they met again after five months of not seeing each other, his older brother didn't explain why he changed his mind, and Sam didn't ask why. By that time he hadn't cared, because he thought that things were going to be different, and the hope of a better life increased in vain.

Sam was not tempted by the demon blood anymore, because every time he saw that red substance, remembered how he had acted with the people that loved him, like Bobby or Dean, and even how low he had fallen. Sam had thought that he was strong, but the reality was that Dean's words now made sense to him. He had been weak and stupid. How could he had done that? Dean being gone was not an excuse to become dark, but at the time he thought that what he was doing was right. Ruby had played with his mind, and like a three-year-old child, he fell into her sick and evil plan. Now, the world was ending and people were dying every single day. The weight on his shoulders was getting heavier by the day, and being honest, he didn't know for how long he would be able to resist it. What if he would say "YES" to the Devil, and he had no choice in the matter at all? Sam tried to avoid the destiny that he had been so afraid of, but even walking through another path arrived to the same destination. He wanted to think that everything was written, so he could feel the relieve to know that he was been just another victim. It was not that easy, though. Dean should have killed him when he had the chance, because John had known that something like this was going to happen. John had loved them, but what he was told about his destiny must had been so bad by the time, that he decided that killing his own kid would be the best thing to do if Dean couldn't save him. Even if Dean would have lived with the guilt of killing him, he was sure that now he'd rather do that, than living with the stranger that he was now. He was not Sam Winchester anymore. He was an abomination.

"Sam! What's taking you so long? Hurry!", barked Dean pissed from the outside

"Sorry. I am going", said Sam while washing his hands and putting his stuff inside the duffel as fast as he could. His favorite plaid shirt, that he washed that very same day, was now going to be wrinkled, but that didn't matter anymore. It was not that anybody was going to look at that detail when the end of the world was coming…

Few hours later, Sam was awoken when Dean shook him without care, like a rag doll.

"Wake up princess. We've got work to do. I think that I can trust you to make some research, right? I am gonna talk to the neighbors. Maybe someone saw something or heard something weird"

"Yeah, I am sorry. I'm going to the library", said Sam rubbing his eyes

"You better. Now, get out of my car and walk towards it. It's not that far", said Dean playing with the steering wheel impatient

As soon as Sam closed the passenger door of the car, saw how Dean drove away faster than he liked to drive, but deep inside Sam knew the reason. His big brother was running from him like he was the most lethal decease that existed, which in one sense was true.

He had really wanted to obey his brother and go to the library, but on his way found a bar, and couldn't help but enter inside the place. It smelled like cigarettes and puke even at 07:45 PM, but that didn't stop him. Few people were there, with somebody by their side laughing loud, not knowing what was really going on out there. They were lucky to have a normal life, to be ignorant of what lived in the darkness. He had never had that life, but Stanford had been the closest to that, and he was not ashamed to say that he had been happier than ever with the love of his life. However, everything ended bloody, and Jessica ended up being another innocent victim that paid the consequences of being around him.

Sam ordered whiskey, and when he realized that he couldn't think straight, knew that he had drank more than the usual. He was seeing everything blurry, but when he could focus on his cell phone's screen, saw that it was 10:50 PM. The conscious part of his mind screamed at him, saying that he was going to have another unnecessary discussion with his brother, and he might end up with a black eye because of his stupid act. Those days, he was afraid of Dean, (really afraid). His tone of voice was cold when he talked to him, his eyes never met his, and his body was always tense when he was around him, but he couldn't go away again. If he walked away, Sam was sure that he was not going to see Dean ever again. The young hunter paid and left the bar, stumbling and falling onto his knees to vomit on his way home. For his "surprise", Dean was at the other side of the door, pissed and red.

"Where the hell have you been Sam? I've been calling you for hours!... Are you drunk?", He asked about the way Sam walked and tried to focus on his face.

"Dee… 'm s'rry", said Sam Dragging the words as he talked

"You're saying that word too many times! Don't you think that I want to be drunk too? You can't get wasted when we're working Sam! I freaking want to get drunk, just to be away from your stupid face! I wish I hadn't made that stupid deal to bring your life! If you were dead, any of this would not be happening right now!", said Dean, storming out of the room

"'m sorry Dean", whispered the younger hunter sobbing

Sam couldn't stand up anymore, but he managed to walk supporting the weight of his body by holding onto the cheap furniture of the place. Once he laid down in one of the beds, closed his eyes and let his body relax as the darkness welcomed him.

Meanwhile…

Dean walked through the dark and empty street trying to calm down before he'd go to the room that he shared with his brother again. He had said some things that he didn't mean to hurt his brother, not thinking straight about the possible consequences. He loved that kid, and would give his life for him in a second, there was no doubt of that. He hoped that Sam would not remember those words, because he was not ready to say, "I'm sorry" or "Forgive me", not even with actions.

"Excuse me, are you alright sir?", asked a red haired woman

"What?... Yeah, I am fine. I am just… tired", answered Dean being honest for the first time in a while

"I can make your wish come true", said the woman walking towards him, while he took a step backwards

"I don't know what are you talking about", said Dean reaching for his gun that was in his waistband

"You made a wish back there, and I am going to make it true. You'll have three days to get out, or you will die", said the woman smiling

She took a round pocket watch and pushed a button, making the clock work

TICK

TOCK

Dean felt how his limbs started to fail. He fell on his knees, and when he could finally take his gun, the elder Winchester aimed at her, ready to shoot her.

TICK

TOCK

His gun fell to the floor and he had to support his body on his hands and knees. He was falling asleep, and he knew what was happening with the case. When he talked to the families of the victims, all of them said that each one had had a problem in their lives, and they were not happy. He was not happy, so he made a stupid wish, and the woman standing in front of him, was a freaking monster that would make his "wish" come true. How did she find him in the first place? It seemed like the freaking town was cursed!

TICK

TOCK

Dean let his muscles relax, and without meaning to, closed his eyes as his face met the pavement. The last thing that he heard was the woman saying "Have a good dream Dean Winchester"

TO BE CONTINUED…