A/N: This is for a challenge in the Tyzula Renaissance Forum that is trying to make more Tyzula comedy stories and lighten up the fandom. If you're interested in writing one of the prompts or just writing a funny story about Azula and Ty Lee, come check it out.

It's a Modern AU, and a pretty traditional one. The ships are inspired by that trendy trinity of Tyzula/Zutara/Maizai.

It's going to be around 25 – 30 chapters (I have a lot planned for it).

I hope you enjoy!

KING SIZED COFFEE CUPS

Chapter One

Azula stepped out of her shimmering red Ferrari and sighed.

The fiery sun beat down on the Arizona desert, heating the smooth driveway leading to the gigantic Kai Family mansion.

She always imagined she would be doing far better immediately after college graduation. Her father ought to have a glamorous job lined up for her and she could purchase a gorgeous penthouse with a Japanese soaking tub she could share with her new wife.

But no. After experiencing four years of true freedom, she returned to her childhood bedroom like a common peasant. Welcome to having an overbearing obscenely wealthy father.

"I'm so excited to re-meet your family!" Ty Lee blithely exclaimed as she left the car and leaned over the hood to get a better look at her Princess Charming.

"I am certain they are excited to meet you too," lied Azula in a pretty purr that covered up her dishonesty. "We will be one big, happy family living in the same mansion in the middle of nowhere Arizona. It is every girl's dream come true."

Ty Lee vaulted over the hood of the car and her lips collided with Azula's. They tasted like her bitter red lipstick while Ty Lee's tasted like Coca Cola chapstick. It was a surprisingly delicious combination, or perhaps they just liked making out.

A man cleared his throat and they swiftly broke apart.

"This must be your girlfriend," said Ozai, looking from Azula to Ty Lee.

He looked intimidating as always, with a pitch black suit and a slightly open blood red silk shirt and a fiery pocket square instead of a tie. He wore that on a weekend in the middle of nowhere, where no one would see him, as always.

Ty Lee furrowed her brow. Azula glared at her, hoping to telepathically communicate.

As far as he knows, we are not married, said her golden eyes.

"Yeah. I'm her girlfriend," Ty Lee replied, giving him her brightest smile and the most flirtatious bat of her fake eyelashes. "Thank you for letting me live here. I really don't have another place to stay so it's the nicest thing ever. You're the nicest guy ever!"

Ty Lee gracefully leapt forward and tightly embraced Ozai. Azula smirked; it was well played. Ozai had two weaknesses and two weaknesses only: hot young women and his favorite child. Save for that, the man was invincible and terrifying.

"You could do worse, Azula," said Ozai.

It encouraged Ty Lee, despite being a half-insult to most people.

Azula and Ty Lee walked inside with their suitcases and dropped them in the front hall. The entire family waited for their arrival and Ty Lee felt like someone important. Azula was only irritated by the presence of her stepmother slash best friend, her brother, and his dreadful girlfriend that he knocked up. It might be a gigantic mansion, but it was overcrowded.

"Mai!" Ty Lee hugged her old best friend. "How've you been?"

"Impartial," replied Mai as she released Ty Lee.

"Not really an answer but okay," Ty Lee chimed, batting those expensive fake eyelashes again. She smiled and waved at Zuko and Katara. "And I haven't met you, Katara."

"But you know my name," said Zuko's baby mama.

Ty Lee giggled. "Yeah. I have social media, dummy."

Katara rolled her eyes. Ty Lee was no improvement from Azula's past girlfriends.

Azula broke the newfound silence. "ZuZu, are you wearing that awful cologne again?"

He glared twice as fiercely. "Why do you ask?"

Azula smirked. "Because you smell like a frat party in a middle school locker room."

"You deserved that," said Ozai as he walked inside. "It was a straightforward question, son. Mai, come help me… I don't care. Do something away from these people."

"Whatever," was her response, and they left the quartet of graduates alone together.

Azula asked, "You two are living here?"

"Well, father wants us nearby to control us more effectively, but when I sold my guitar and got some cash of my own," said Zuko, "Katara and I stayed in a hotel for a while."

"The one that gave you the free zebra print robe?" asked Azula with a grimace. "I could have done without that Instagram picture."

Zuko said, "It was meant to show off and accentuate."

With a further sour twist of her lips, Azula replied, "It was working."

"You have too many opinions," Katara quietly said with her arms crossed.

Zuko looked at the tension between Azula and Katara already building and he quickly turned to Ty Lee. "Can I interest you in some very strong coffee? We have syrups to put in it."

"Do you have vanilla?" Ty Lee asked with a smile.

"Yeah," he replied, nodding.

Ty Lee kissed Azula's cheek and followed Zuko into the heart of the mansion. Ozai decorated it like it was a gilded age manor to the extent of purchasing historically accurate vintage furniture. It did not fit in the sun-scorched locale.

They reached the kitchen and Ty Lee situated herself on a bar stool while Zuko busied himself with the coffee machine. Ty Lee leaned over the counter as Zuko prepared the coffee. She had a faint smile painted on her face at all times, which confused the heck out of him.

She chattered about the long drive from California while he made her the best coffee she would ever have in her life (in his humble opinion). He passed her the grand gift and she gasped.

"The coffee cups are huge!" Ty Lee exclaimed as Zuko poured her a mug. "This is like a bowl but with a handle."

When Zuko handed it to her, she accepted the drink with a cheery smile. Zuko tilted his head to the side; he wondered why on Earth this girl was so happy all the time.

"So, you're dating Azula?" Zuko asked, hoping to just make this less weird.

"Oh, actually we're married," said Ty Lee, holding out her hand with the huge diamond ring on it. "We got married like two weeks ago at a drive-thru chapel. It was a dream come true."

Zuko decided it might be best not to talk, so he poured himself a cup of coffee and attached it to his dry lips.

In the other room, Katara did not want to, but she attempted small talk. It was better than the brutal silence.

"So, what did you do on the weekend?" Katara asked and Azula said nothing. "I worked at the clinic getting my experience for med—"

Azula glared at her as she interrupted with, "If I cared about what you did on the weekend, I would put a shotgun in my mouth and pull the trigger with my toes."

Azula stood up and walked away.

Katara muttered to herself, "Always the charmer…"

Ty Lee unpacked her belongings and Azula's while Azula sat on her queen sized childhood bed and rubbed her own feet. The cute gymnast stopped when she reached her bikini and held it up in front of herself with a smile.

"We should go to the pool. I'll make margaritas," Ty Lee chirped. "We'll bask in the sunlight and I'll swim and it'll be so nice."

"Nothing is nice living with my brother and his girlfriend and my father and Mai and soon a baby. Living with you is hard enough," Azula stated bitterly.

"Why don't we talk while at the pool?" Ty Lee suggested again, batting her eyelashes this time. She just knew it would work on her lovely wife.

"Whatever," Azula said, grabbing her own cerulean bikini.

They changed without even looking at each other. Married for two weeks and already, well, married. Azula thought she might have hit an all-time low.

Wonderful.

Ty Lee swam in the crystalline water while Azula sipped the excellent margarita from a pool chair. Mai watched from the window, not sure if she was bored or amused.

Ozai leaned against the wall and asked her, "Is there something interesting out there?"

"Honestly, no. I just am trying to figure out how this freaking happened," Mai said. "I mean, they've been in love for as long as I've known them, but I never thought they'd get this far. They seem too happy together. Something is wrong. They've never been that happy together."

"They are probably hiding something," said Ozai, setting his hand on her back. "It will come out eventually. Poor choice of words. Someone will let it slip eventually."

Mai turned her attention to her phone and started texting. He had no idea who she was talking to, since Azula and Ty Lee were the only friends he knew she had, but he would have to wait and look through her phone later while she was asleep. Mai responded poorly to his alleged invasions of her privacy and he had to do it behind her back.

"I didn't know you thought Azula was capable of doing anything wrong."

"She's a good child, the good child, and whatever she did can't be worse than impregnating a self-righteous failed marine biologist and human rights activist out of wedlock. At least her live-in girlfriend is actually hot," said Ozai, shrugging.

"Katara is more attractive than Ty Lee."

"Personality counts," said Ozai.

"Really? Do I have the most glittery personality in the world?"

"You have a personality where I have never heard you say glittery before and you've told me to shut up more than once—which no one else ever has, even my rebellious son—and so you are the prettiest girl in my house," said Ozai, now rubbing her back.

"I don't care if I am or not," Mai said. She watched Azula and Ty Lee for a few more minutes and saw nothing interesting. "I'm taking a nap."

She broke free of her husband and walked to the master bedroom upstairs.

Azula sipped her second margarita and said, "I never wanted to live with my father as an adult. He could give me money without keeping me under his thumb."

Ty Lee weakly smiled then saw that was not enough. So, she grasped at the best she could do. "Baby killer whales, when they grow up, they stay with their mom forever. They like never ever leave her side. Be a killer whale, princess," Ty Lee said, broadly grinning.

"Well," said Azula, glancing at her margarita and then at the pool, "it isn't terrible to live with my wealthy father who spoils me because I'm his precious little girl. Less pleasant to live with Zuko and Mai and Katara, but the refreshments are lovely."

"I love it when you look on the bright side!" chirped Ty Lee, rising out of the pool and rushing to Azula. "It's really attractive!"

Inside, Zuko was having his daily fight with his father. He reached the part where he shouted about how mother ran off and disappeared from their lives because he was such a jerk just as Ty Lee got out of the pool and straddled Azula.

"Well, perhaps you should track down the mother who abandoned you if you hate my generosity so much," growled Ozai at his indignant son. "I am all you have. I give and I take and you can get yourself a damned job if you want out of here. It'd be far more honorable since you knocked up some poor Eskimo girl."

"Azula got married!" Zuko shouted and Ozai took a step back. "Yeah! That girlfriend she brought over is her wife! They eloped after graduation!"

Ozai froze with a look that could kill on his face.