Well, to be honest, she didn't expect it to hurt that much.

Marco had came back immediately, shouting her name in the middle of the panicking crowd running around the broken billboard, dragging Jackie's hand with him across the entire Echo Creek. He didn't find her at home, either, so to say that he's having a break down is an understatement. No matter how many times Jackie tried to assure him that Star is probably okay - she is a magical princess after all - he didn't listen and just continued on his searching frenzy.

And Star?

She was seriously giving her life decisions a second look.

Sure, she had expected them to act like a couple since they are an item now, aren't they? Hugs and holding hands and stuff are a natural thing to do when you're dating, she knew, but a kiss? She—she…

…let's just say she hadn't expected it to stung that much.

"Star? STAR!" She could hear him screaming her name, panicky concern in his voice. It made her eyes well up despite the ridiculousness of this situation; she had brought this on herself, after all. She was fine with it, with them, she kept telling herself that it was too late, it was for nothing, she could bear with it, right? If only for his happiness. She could do it for him, even if her heart felt like it might rip apart.

She had had that scary moment when she couldn't control her magic (now that she looks back at it, the beam of magic was green and not its usual flirty pink color) and honestly, it terrified her. She had lost almost everything; her spell book, Glossaryck, the history of her entire family... Even if her parents reassured her a million times that it's fine, it's no problem; they can fix it, she couldn't help but feel this guilt looming over her head, the lingering sense of depression and absolute worthlessness that had been chased away by lip-sync nights with Marco over Just Friends and Too Little Too Late is coming back, making her losing her mind.

And now, she can't—

She can't lose Marco too.

It felt kind of pathetic, now that she thought about it. Sitting here, at the rock bottom of Echo Creek and feeling like the scum of the earth, trying not to cry her eyes out. It's—it's terrible, how much she missed his hugs, even if they are all platonic and sweet. His loving, protective touches, even if they are as light as feathers. His smile, the bright shining sun in her darkest days.

The way he would let himself loose whenever she's around—

The pure, unadulterated joy in his eyes whenever he looks at Jackie.

It hurts more than she would ever admit.

What would've been different if she hadn't invited Jackie today? Nothing much, except for the fact that he would've been with her instead, would've held her hands and they would've had some fun together, no?

But the fact that he did do all of those things with her made her even more confused and her descend into madness even faster.

She—she didn't know how to feel.

Don't get it wrong, she loves Jackie; the girl was as cool as a well practiced narwhal blast. But seeing her there with him, doing all the things Star herself used to do with Marco made this unexplainable feeling bubble at the bottom of her stomach. It's not jealousy, that much she knew, but it's not something unrelated either.

Heh—she had really lost it, hadn't she? And surprisingly enough, the ducks didn't help her much.

"It's just—" she gestured wildly with her hands, at a complete lost for words, "I'm happy for them—I am, don't you dare question me—but like, they could've done it somewhere more discreet, you know. Marco didn't have to hold my hand the entire time he had made out with Jackie, either. Like, I know I gave it up already; no need to rub it in my face," she sighed when the duck merely hissed at her (can ducks even hiss?)

Welp, so this is how it is. Sitting under a bridge, curled up into herself and blabbing to ducks about her life problems. There goes the famous Princess Star Butterfly.

God, when did she become so piteous?

He wasn't sure how much of an imbecile could he be.

He knew—Marco Diaz fucking knew—that something was wrong the second Star left the seat next to him and run up to the stage. Her smile had been incredibly forced, but he didn't call her out on it. He knew that he had made her feel uncomfortable. The awkwardness that had never been in their friendship before surfaced earlier in the concert and he noticed—God he noticed.

But he didn't do anything about it.

He was screaming her name the second that billboard exploded in a cloud of green magic.

He knew—he fucking knew…

He needed to find her.

Well, it's time to go home she guessed. It was dark and cold, and the lady who sells hair still creeps her out. Star sighed deeply and pulled out the pair of dimensional scissors, not ready to walk through the front door and face her best friend.

The scissors…

…She should probably give them back to him. They're his, after all. And—and she couldn't have them.

She couldn't have anything, could she?

She cut open the fabric of reality and created a portal straight to her room. Dark. It was dark and lonely and—

She missed Marco already.

God, how was she supposed to live without him? Her plan was to go back to Mewni and just—stay there; she had caused him more than his fair share of trouble. But now, being here alone in the vast space of her own room...

It—it made her feel broken.

Hollow and angry at herself and worthless and self-loathing.

Was—was this her punishment? For not telling him her feelings sooner? She was just trying to protect their friendship—it was too valuable a thing for her to lose. She could—she could be just friends with him, right?

As long as she gets to stay by his side.

Star, you idiot. You can't stay—Marco's suffering because of you. He constantly risks his life for you, and you still want more? What's wrong with letting him date Jackie? At least she didn't pull him into a deadly adventure for her own gains. What did you ever do for him besides almost getting him killed?

That—that's not true—Marco is my best friend and he loves me—

Who are you trying to fool? Face it, Butterfly, you're nothing but a burden to him. If you love him—really love him, then free him from a disaster such as yourself.

And she felt inadequate.

Insecurity was always Marco's problem, not hers. She was always there to cheer him up and reassure him that he matters.

So who will cheer her up?

No one, that's it.

Nothing. Left with an empty soul, a cleaved wand and a heart devoid of emotions.

Could she be more pathetic?

"S-Star?" he knocked gently on the door. No answer, but he knew better than that.

"Star, I know you're in there. Can-can we talk?"

She was as quiet as a statue.

And the door was locked. Dammit.

"Look, I know I made you, um, uncomfortable. I get it. And I'm sorry, and I promise it won't happen again," he choked a bit on the promise and it made her heart clenched painfully, "Now can you please open the door? Just let me check on you? I saw that green magic blast and for the love of God, Star, I was worried sick," his voice was nothing but tender loving care and she could feel herself crying.

"Are-are you okay? Are you hurt? Why did you blast the billboard? God, did Ludo come for your wand again? Star? Star, open the door!" He was banging on her door with clenched fists and she was sobbing now and she knew he could hear it but she didn't care, "Star, please. I will break it down if I have to, I swear." he paused for a little as if he's contemplating something, "If-If you don't want to see me I'll ask Mom to come up and check on you? I-I sent Jackie home already so please, just—just let me in—"

He sounded so desperate she wondered why he was even doing this. It's pointless, it's all pointless. She was selfish and dirty and she couldn't believe she was jealous over her best friend's happiness and she didn't deserve him and why didn't he just leave her alone—

The lock buckled again when he tried to shake it out of place and she panicked.

"D-Don't come in!" The shaking stopped immediately at her words and she sighed in relief. "I-I'm not hurt, Marco," her voice was an octave higher than usual but again, she didn't care, "I'm just, um, relaxing. Yeah, relaxing! The hype at the concert got me good, you know? Just chilling a bit to cool off and then I'll be good as new. No need to worry about me, heh, heh," she forced out a laugh and it was painful.

But if it gives him reassurance...

She would do anything.

He was deathly quiet now, and she was scared. Scared that he had left already. Scared that he had abandoned her, that she had just done something wrong and he hates her now, and how could she—how could she—

"Star," he whispered softly on the other side and she perked up slightly, "Why are you lying to me?"

He sounded small and heartbroken and vulnerable it made her wanted to kick the door open and just hug him, hug all the stupid depression out of him for his kind and bright smile to return.

But she didn't. She couldn't.

So she cried instead.

"I know," he told her softly, "that you don't exactly like me dating Jackie. Don't think that I'm that oblivious—even if I am I can still read you like a book. I know you, Star Butterfly. I know when you're distressed, uncomfortable, or those moments when you would put on a strong face no matter how powerless you feel. Everyone else would be fooled but I wouldn't. Because I know."

She really shouldn't be crying this much.

"But what I don't know is what makes you like that. So please, Star, tell me. You know I'll always listen, always understand—or at least try to understand. I want to help. Please, you know I'm always here for you. Like how you are always there for me."

"Can you open up to me?"

Of course.

But she couldn't.