Left alone with John, Sherlock felt like there was so much he should say even if John might not hear him but he couldn't find the words. He reached out and gently touched his friend's arm. "I'm sorry John." he told him again. "I'd have given anything to have stopped this. I'm sorry I wasn't quicker getting to you. I just couldn't work it out. I was an idiot and I'm sorry."

Sherlock dropped his head. "It wasn't your fault."

For a moment Sherlock thought he'd imagined it. Even when he looked up at John he didn't realise he was awake. His face was still so swollen it was hard to tell if his eyes were open. It was only when he tried to move slightly and groaned that Sherlock was sure.

He reached out to John. "No you mustn't move. Lie still. I'll fetch a nurse."

John reached out his left hand and took hold of Sherlock's arm. "Wait." he told him. Sherlock stopped and looked at his friend. "I mean it. This wasn't your fault. You did everything you could. I know that."

Sherlock gave a half hearted smile. It was good of John to say that but he still didn't really believe it.

"So what's the damage?" John asked.

"What do you mean?" Sherlock looked confused.

"How many broken ribs? I know at least one went."

"Yes just the one."

"Two fingers then, one rib. Anything else?"

"No" Sherlock told him "The doctor said you were lucky there were no other internal injuries just swelling and bruising."

"Good. That's good." Again John moved slightly and again he groaned. Sherlock winced at his pain. "So how did you save me? That man seemed to think the poison would be the end of me?" John vaguely remembered a conversation with Sherlock at the warehouse but the memories were foggy.

"There was an antidote. I made Mycroft get you some."

John laughed and then moaned from the pain. "Good old Mycroft."

"Good old Mycroft? If he hadn't given instructions for that poison to be invented then you wouldn't be in this mess."

"We can't change the past Sherlock. I'm sure this wasn't what Mycroft intended when he gave that order."

"I guess not." Sherlock muttered. He was still a bit mad at his big brother.

"Look none of that matters. You got to me in time and got the antidote from Mycroft. Thank you. You saved my life Sherlock."

"It was my fault you were there in the first place."

"No. You saved my life." John continued to look at Sherlock his hand still on his arm. Sherlock looked back at him and eventually John felt his arm relax like he'd finally accepted what John was saying.

Sherlock sighed and gave a small smile. He saw John wince with pain once more as he tried to straighten himself up in bed. "I'm going to get that nurse now. There must be something she can give you for the pain."

"Thanks Sherlock."

As Sherlock left the room he bumped into Lestrade. "Have you seen a nurse? I need a nurse?" he said urgently.

Lestrade panicked "Is John OK?" he asked.

"What? Oh yes. He's awake but he's in pain. I need a nurse."

Lestrade heaved a sigh of relief. "You gave me a fright there for a minute. Look you go and sit with John, I'll find the nurse." And with that Lestrade headed back down the corridor.

A few minutes later he returned with a nurse and the doctor who'd treated John earlier. "Well John you're even tougher than I thought. I certainly didn't expect you to be awake just yet." She smiled "Let me check you over and then we'll set up pain medication for you so that you can administer a dose when you need it." She checked the readings on his machines and noted his charts. "Well you have a broken rib" she started.

"Yes Sherlock told me. But no other internal injuries right?"

"That's right. You were lucky."

"So just the rib to be careful with."

"Yes. We'd like to keep you in for a couple of days anyway. Make sure there are no other problems, after all it was a substantial beating that you took. But if everything goes according to plan I see no reason why you can't go home after that. I take it there will be someone there to look after you?"

"Yes." Sherlock answered for him.

The doctor smiled. "Right well let's get this pain medication set up and then I want you to rest." She turned to Sherlock and Lestrade "Now we know your friend is OK I want you two to go home. You can come back and see him tomorrow."

"But..." Sherlock started.

"No buts. You have five minutes while we get the pain meds sorted and that's it." With that she turned and walked away talking to the nurse about what she wanted set up for John.

"Well we better leave you in the capable hands of the medical staff then." Lestrade grinned at John. "It's good to see you awake."

"Thanks Greg." he replied.

Sherlock stood and looked at his friend. He didn't really want to leave him. He still wasn't totally sure he was alright. As if he could read his mind John said "I'm fine Sherlock. Or at least I will be in a few weeks once my rib and fingers have healed. Go home. Get some sleep and I'll see you tomorrow."

"OK goodnight." Sherlock finally conceded and left the room with Lestrade.

The following day when Sherlock returned with Mrs Hudson, John looked more comfortable. His pain medication was obviously working Sherlock thought. John gave as much of a smile as his swollen face would allow but Mrs Hudson was still shocked by what she saw. She felt tears well up in her eyes and tried desperately to stop them from falling. "It looks worse than it is." John told her. "Really it just needs a couple of days for the swelling to go down and the bruises to fade."

Mrs Hudson walked over to him and gently kissed him on his forehead. She was too choked up to speak. John reached for her hand and gave it a squeeze.

Sherlock had remained by the door. He still found it hard looking at John's injuries. "You coming in or what?" John joked. Sherlock wandered over. John looked at their faces and could read just how hard this had been for them. "What? Do I really look that bad?" he asked. Finally they smiled.

"Truthfully?" Sherlock said "Yes I'm afraid you do." John laughed.

"Yeah well, it gets me the sympathy vote." The ice broken John continued. "Well the doctor says she's pretty certain I can come home the day after tomorrow so that's good."

"Really?" asked Mrs Hudson concerned "Isn't that too soon?"

"No, most of my injuries are superficial. Like I said it looks worse than it is. I'll need to take it easy for a few weeks because of my rib and obviously be careful with the fingers but other than that everything is looking fine."

"Oh well we can take care of you. Can't we Sherlock? And I'll make sure there's cake for when you get home." Mrs Hudson told him.

"Thanks Mrs H. I'm looking forward to it already."

Sherlock was pleased that John was doing so well and it was good to hear him laughing but he couldn't shake his feelings of guilt. "John" he said eventually "I am sorry you know."

"I told you yesterday this wasn't your fault. You saved my life." John suddenly wondered whether Sherlock thought he blamed him because he didn't say goodbye on the tape. "Sherlock the reason I didn't say goodbye..."

"It doesn't matter."

"Yes it does. It wasn't because I didn't want to and it certainly wasn't because I held you in anyway responsible. I just knew that whatever I said, that man would use it to taunt you, to hurt you and I couldn't let him do that."

Sherlock looked at John "I would have given anything to stop your pain."

John looked at the hurt on his friends face. He knew it was going to take a while for Sherlock to forgive himself for this even though there was nothing he could have done to stop it. He placed his hand on Sherlock's arm, looked at him and said "I know you would Sherlock. I know you would."