Obito wakes up, which is, by all accounts, something that shouldn't have happened considering he clearly remembers dying.

Still, Obito wakes up to the sound of humming and the smell of pancakes filling the air.

Obito is, decidedly, confused. Confused enough that it takes him five minutes of staring at the ceiling and wondering what the fuck is going on before he thinks to activate his Sharingan.

His eyes turn red.

Everything stays the same.

Obito has no fucking idea what's going on. He died, he remembers dying, by all rights, his shitshow of a life should be over.

But it isn't, and Obito wants to know why. So he does what any self respecting former mass murderer would do, he heads toward the source of the humming noise with plans to brutally interrogate whoever brought him here.

He should be dead. Obito had been prepared to die, he was willing to die a martyr, to die as someone who had tried to correct his mistakes. But this? This was not the afterlife, Obito could feel his heart beating in his chest, could count how many breaths he took.

Obito is not dead.

But he should be.

Obito makes it to the kitchen and freezes when he sees who's setting a plate full of pancakes on the table in front of him.

It's Mikoto.

His Aunt Mikoto that Itachi killed. He knows Mikoto well enough to know that she would have never let Sasuke grow up alone if she had still been alive. That means that either Obito is dead and that the afterlife is a weird as fuck place, or that he's alive and for some reason Mikoto let Sasuke grow up by himself.

Obito isn't particularly fond of either of those options.

Mikoto smiles at him, charming and venomous.

Like a snake.

God, Obito hates snakes.

"I think we have a lot to talk about," Mikoto says, "Sit."

Obito remains standing.

Mikoto's smile sharpens.

Obito draws out a chair from the table and sits.

Mikoto's smile softens a bit and she pulls out a chair across from him and sits.

"Now," she begins, "I already know your story, but I'd like to hear it from your mouth."

Obito doesn't want to tell her anything, and yet, he doesn't want to harm her either. She's his aunt, one of the few people in the clan that treated Obito like he was human and not a failure. Yet there is something in Mikoto's eyes that tell Obito that if he doesn't watch his step he'll have no choice but to kill her.

Or at least try, Obito remembers that Mikoto was one of the youngest ever to activate the Mangekyo Sharingan, and while he can't exactly recall what her Mangekyo did he's certain that it's terrifying.

Konoha didn't call her their 'Blue Demon,' for nothing.

Obito is left backed into a corner and he doesn't like it one bit.

Still, Obito tells her about how he had watched Rin die. He tells her about Madara's manipulations and his own, how he pulled the strings of the Akatsuki and how he manipulated Sasuke.

He hides nothing. This is his aunt, someone who looks like she wants to kill him for the pain he's caused both Sasuke and Itachi and he holds nothing back.

Mikoto's eyes turn red, three tomoes spinning, bleeding into each other until they form an almost rose like pattern in her eyes.

"I should kill you," Mikoto tells Obito over cold pancakes neither of the had touched, "But you seem, regretful almost? Had Kushina's child really changed you so much?"

Obito shrugs, "Probably not," he admits, "I doubt I'll ever be the Obito you knew before."

"You won't be," Mikoto agrees, "But the world changes everyone. In your case, it was for the worse."

Obito snorts but doesn't deny it.

"Where are we?" he asks instead, "This can't be the afterlife."

"It isn't. Our Mangekyo, what did you call it? Kamui? Brought us here in an attempt to save our lives."

Obito blinks, he obviously knew of Kamui's ability to travel to other dimensions, had used that ability of Kamui's to his advantage more often than not, but to wind up in a dimension so like their own.

It was unsettling.

"When you say our-"

"I mean that my Mangekyo and yours are the same," Mikoto says, almost cheerfully, "We are directly related after all. Or did you forget that your father is my brother?"

Obito didn't forget, and yet for some reason the idea that his aunt, that Mikoto has the same ability as him is terrifying.

Mikoto could really kill him, Obito realizes, she has access to Kamui too, she could kill Obito and be done with it.

The fact she hasn't speaks volumes about her character.

Mikoto, Obito thinks, is a better person than he will ever be.

"How did you find me?" he asks.

"It was a bit difficult to not notice you when you landed right outside my door," Mikoto says dryly, "And once I saw who you were I had to take you in."

"You could have killed me," Obito points out, "Why didn't you?"

"Because some of us don't kill people because they've inconvenienced them, Obito."

Obito ignores the jab.

"So what now?" Obito asks, impatient to figure out what Mikoto wants with him.

"Now, I give you two options," Mikoto says, "One, you stay with me and we work together as partners. Two, I get to kill you and take revenge for what you did to my children." Mikoto's smile that never once faltered during their conversations disappears and a deadly smirk takes it's place, "Don't think I can't kill you Obito, because I can, and I will."

The threat reminds Obito that this isn't the kind aunt from his past he is dealing with, this is a shinobi, a jounin, that views Obito as a threat. That wants revenge for her children and for the first time in a long while, Obito will admit that he is a little afraid.

"I'll take the first option," he says, "As long as your explain what we will be partners for first."

"Oh, that's easy," Mikoto says too brightly for someone who just threatened Obito a minute ago, "We're assassins."

Obito isn't sure what he thought Mikoto was capable of doing, he has never seen her in action after all, but seeing her use Kamui to take someones head off is more than a little horrifying.

If Konoha hadn't been so adamant about the Uchiha not being able to get close to the Hokage or be Hokage then Obito is sure Mikoto would have made a batshit terrifying Hokage.

If there is one thing Obito knows for a fact it's that hitmen and assassin's alike don't like it when you steal their kills.

Then again, Obito has never given a fuck about etiquette of any kind. So, it's not surprising that when he hears he stole a kill from the Greatest Hitman in the world he simply shrugs and asks for cash.

If he had known that would have sent the Greatest Hitman in the World on his tail then he would have perhaps paid more attention to what the hitman he had stolen the kill from was called.

Reborn and Obito's first meeting begins with Reborn standing on a fence and Obito having gun pointed at his head.

"Toddler's shouldn't play with weapons," are the first words out of Obito's mouth because his lack of a filter is going to get him killed one day. It's only upon taking a closer look at Reborn does Obito realize that this isn't just a kid and that there is some sort of seal on the pacifier around his neck.

Reborn almost twitches. Instead he tightens his grip on his weapon and glowers at Obito.

"You stole my kill," Reborn says.

Obito snorts, "Your point?"

Reborn narrows his eyes and lowers his gun a fraction.

"It's rude to steal other people's contracts," he chides.

Obito shrugs, eyeing the pacifier around Reborn's neck with curiosity. Years of studying seals and ways to extract the bijuu have left Obito with more than his fair share of knowledge regarding the art.

"Well, I'm not known for being polite," Obito says.

"That's obvious," Reborn says, "But I've been hired by the Vongola to figure out why you killed a man that was plotting to kill their heir."

Obito knows about the Vongola, knows enough about the Mafia that he's aware of the existence of Flames but has never felt compelled to use them or figure out what his flame type is. After all, it's not like he's a Sky.

"So, you've been hired to sniff out the new guy and figure out whether or not he has any talent that would be useful to the Vongola," Obito says, reading between the lines and thoroughly unimpressed with how his like was turning out.

Obito has no interest in working for Vongola, nor does he think, will he ever.

He snorts again.

"Tell your employer that I said fuck off," Obito says, letting his Sharingan swirl into existence and disappearing into Kamui.

Reborn is reluctantly impressed.

*drags you all down into crossover pairing hell with me* hello, my name is moose and I'll be your guide on this tour of PAIRS THAT NO ONE BUT ME AND BLACKKAT SHIP. She wrote me this wonderful fic for this pairing yesterday so of course I had to return the favor and write something for her. So this is for you Kat!

Anyway, this is going to be about five chapters and Obito is going to adopt ALL THE CHILDREN.