Chapter 5

A/N: Hey! Remember me? I totally forgot all about this story. I hope you like this chapter, and leave me a review telling me about your favourite parts!

"Tell me, how did you get your hook stuck again?" Emma asked her husband as she took in the scene before her. Killian was sitting on the floor, his hook stuck in the first step of the stairs. His fishing hook. He was going fishing with David, and Emma and Regina were going shopping. The children would be dropped off at Felix's and his girlfriend, Paige. They were college students who needed some extra money, so they let them babysit frequently.

"I was gonna show Chris my hook-wielding-skills!" He said while wielding a pen around as a sword. Chris just snickered at his father, when Emma kicked the step and the hook fell out immediately. Gaping at his wife, he said, "Somewhat castrating."

"Come on, Bear Grylls and son." She said patting her, now pouting, husband on the shoulder.

"What about snookie-pookie?"

"If you desire a divorce and a fractured nose, go right ahead." Regina would not, even after 20 years of marriage, let David call her nicknames. He had tried everything, with no positive outcome.

"But 'Gina! I need somethin'. Work with me here, hunky punky." David said and poked his wife in the stomach. His grin quickly shifted to a grimace of pain as Regina grabbed the finger and bent it. Not the normal way a finger should be bent.

"Ow, ow, ow! Okay, okay!" Nevertheless, Regina just kept bending.

"Promise me you will not call me by those juvenile names!"

"Okay, okay! Are you trying to make me look like fucking Spock? Fat Jesus on a bike, that hurts!" Regina loosened her grip a little at her husband's wail of pain.

"Swear on our children and dog!" Regina said, not even bothering to get up from the chair she was currently seated on, while her husband was kneeling on the floor in front of her. She could get used to this.

"Holy Frankenfuck, you psycho! Yes, I swear on the kids and the fucking canine! I'll even bring your bat-shit crazy mother into the equation!" Only then did Regina let go. David clutched his hand to his chest in pain.

"You need to chill your tater tits!" He yelled after his wife, who walked out of the bedroom, flipping her husband off. His ego hurt more than his finger.

"You almost broke your husband's finger?" Regina just nodded at her sister's question, and kept digging into her salad. Emma let out a whistle of empathy. For David.

"Now shoot me in the ear if I'm wrong," Regina just raised her eyebrows at the new, creative phrase. "You almost dismantled your boo's finger… because he called you hunky-punky?" Emma waited patiently for her sister to answer. Regina at least had the decency to look slightly guilty.

"When you put it like that…" Regina stabbed the salad with her fork. "I wish I would have bent it further." Regina finished with a mischievous smile.

"I'll admit, your temper often tickles my giggle-dick, but Regina, that's hella morbid, even for you!" Emma said, her tone laced with laughter. Regina just smiled, pleased for making her sister laugh. Just as Regina continued digging the fork into her lunch, David stepped into the mayoral office.

"What is up, fellow humans? David said, as he paraded towards Regina, and planting a kiss on the top of her head.

"Discussing sexual positions." Emma answered without as much as batting an eye.

"Cool beans." David said and fist bumped his sister-in-law. Regina just sat in her chair with lettuce hanging from her, now, agape mouth.

"Speaking of sexual positions. David, which one is your favourite?" Emma asked, faking curiosity. David tapped his chin with his finger in deep thought.

"It has to be the one where Regina pretends to be asleep." David barely finished his sentence before Regina kicked him in the leg, making him jump and hit his thigh on the marble desk. Emma let out a howl of laughter, tears springing to her eyes as David clutched his leg in pain. Regina tried to cough up the slice of tomato that got caught in the back of her throat. The three of them were crying for three different reasons, running around the office in various amounts of pain.

Under the entire ruckus, neither of them noticed that Cora had arrived. The former mayor could just stand in the doorway and watch as Regina downed an entire bottle of water, tears running down her cheeks. David was rummaging through the freezer in the mini-fridge, screaming for a pack of frozen peas to help relieve his pain. Emma was on the carpet, rolling around, panting like an asthmatic dog. Cora just stood there for a couple of minutes, mouth agape in disbelief. Then Henry came, walking down the hallway, headed towards the mayoral office.

"Mi vida, did you find th…" Henry did not finish his question before Cora pulled him out of the mayoral office.

"No, sir, not today." Cora said, and sped off down the hall, not wanting to deal with anyone's shit on that particular day.

Once the three of them had calmed down, they sat down on the couches Regina had perfectly matched with the other interior in her office. Reaching for an apple, Emma remembered what she was intentionally going to ask her sister about.

"Y'know, your birthday and due date is coming up, so I thought we cou…"

"We are not throwing a party to celebrate a grown woman's birthday. It's meaningless." Regina determinedly stated. Emma just slouched back into the cushions of the couch she was currently seated on with a big pout on her lips.

"You just don't want to admit your age. You know you're pushing 50-"

"With a very fucking long stick!" Regina yelled out in offence. David just snickered and rubbed his wife's back with his hand. His gaze lingering on his wife's beautifully rounded stomach.

"You know Gina, it might not be a bad idea to throw a party for the jelly bean-" David said, but was also interrupted by the feisty brunette.

"Enough with the nicknames, you blowhard!" Regina all but yelled and got up from the couch in the most graceful manner she could muster with the extra 20 pounds throwing her off balance.

"Oh, come on Regina!" David said to his wife, getting up to go after her, but was quickly stopped. Emma stepped in front of him, her hand placed firmly on her hips. In this moment, David could tell that Emma was a Mills too.

"Let her cool off. She has had problems with nicknames long before she met you, amigo." Emma sat down on the couch, patting the spot next to her. David understood the not so subtle move, and sat down right next to her.

"I just don't understand why." David said, his voice laced with exhaustion. It was not just the nicknames that bothered him, but his wife had seemed distant lately. Emma cleared her throat before turning towards her brother-in-law.

"Regina is probably going to hate me for this. But, Regina hasn't always been this confident, powerful woman. She has insecurities filling her to the rim. One of them is being Latina. She is of course proud of her heritage and never lets anyone forget where she is from or who she is. But shitty Caucasian kids aren't always as kind to other ethnicities than their own." David frowned, not liking where this story was headed.

"Being the only colored kid in the neighbourhood and at school, Regina had to fight for herself. She dealt with, and continues to deal with, racial slurs and discrimination every day of her life. Being called mami, hot tamale, taco and spic does something to your self-worth. Regina would come home from school almost every day, crying because of rude nicknames her classmates and other kids had given her." David had not understood his wife's reaction to the nicknames he created for her. Now that he did, he wished that he never would have put her through all of that pain again. Even if the nicknames he had given he were not hurtful, they had still caused his wife pain.

"Eventually our parents pulled her out of private school, and let her continue her education at a public school. Regina had never been happier, because she got to socialize with kids that looked like her. And that's where she met the love of her life. You." By the time Emma was done telling the story, her half-eaten apple had turned brown and David sat there, shell-shocked and with tears in his eyes.

"Thank you for telling me all of this, Emma." David said, and leaned over to give the blonde a hug.

"Not a problem. And about that birthday party-" David pulled away from the hug, to shift his focus back on Emma.

"I don't think we need a party where my mother is so drunk she can't tell her elbow from her ass to show Regina how much we appreciate her. I think a small family get-together is more than enough." David just smiled at Emma, grateful that he is so lucky to have such a generous and thoughtful sister in-law.

"I think so too. I should go see if Regina has toppled over somewhere." David said, as he got up from the couch. Emma laughed at the mental image of Regina trying to get up like a turtle on its back.

"Yeah, you probably should. I'll clean up this mess." Emma said, gesturing to their lunches, which were spread all over the office after their little breakdown.

"Thanks. I'll see you later, toots." David called after Emma as he headed for the door.

"Didn't we just have a talk about nicknames and the damage they cause?" Emma said with a raised eyebrow.

"Um, yeah? But I didn't think that applied to you too! And 'toots' is cute as hell!" He said, trying to defend himself.

"You know, Regina might not have had the guts to bend your finger all the way, but my schedule is clear and the kid is at the sitter. I will bend it all the way." David audibly gulped and backed out of the office.

"Yeah, well… LATERS, EMMA!" David said, hauling ass down the hall as fast as his legs would carry him.