Author's Note: This fic is dedicated to Gilove2dance, who suggested the idea in a comment on "Just Once" on AO3!

A Different Kind of First Time

Phil couldn't seem to stay focused on anything today. He'd tried working on ideas for a new video, but just couldn't keep his mind on topic. He settled on the sofa with his laptop for a while, trying to answer some tweets on Tumblr, but couldn't think of anything clever or silly to say. He and Dan had gone out separately this morning, but Phil had gotten home first and Dan's prolonged absence was driving him a bit mad. He made himself a cup of coffee and sat again on the sofa, one leg jiggling up and down in agitation.

When he heard Dan's steps on the stairs, he sat up a little straighter in anticipation. When Dan unlocked the door and came in, Phil greeted him with a big smile. Dan blinked for a moment, then smiled back, closing the door behind him.

"What are you so happy about?" Dan asked suspiciously.

Phil shrugged, looking away, then smiled a sort of little private smile to himself before meeting Dan's eyes again. His attention was caught by the pink box in Dan's hands. "What's that?"

Dan grinned. "Do you know what today is?"

Phil frowned in thought. "Um ... Thursday?"

Dan rolled his eyes. "It's Tuesday, actually, but that wasn't what I meant. Today is our three-month anniversary ... so I got you something." His smile was a little shy as he offered the box to Phil. Phil opened it to find a cupcake with red frosting inside.

"Can I eat it now?" he asked with childlike enthusiasm, and Dan nodded. Phil took the cupcake out of the box and took a big bite. He groaned in pleasure. "Red velvet!" he mumbled with his mouth full.

"I know it's your favorite," Dan replied, looking pleased that his gift was so appreciated.

"Do you want a bite?" Phil offered, holding the cupcake toward Dan, but Dan shook his head.

"It's for you. Because you've made me so happy these past three months." His face was going a bit pink.

Phil set the cupcake down on the coffee table, heedless of the crumbs falling everywhere, and went to Dan, taking him in his arms and kissing him softly with lips sweetened by icing. "Me too," he said quietly. "So happy."

Dan stepped away and coughed. "We're such saps," he complained, but his pleasure at the attention was obvious. "Now what were you smiling about when I came in?"

"Can't I just be happy to see you?" Phil asked, looking a little nervous. Dan instantly became suspicious again.

"What's going on?" he demanded.

Phil went back to the sofa and sat down, his leg starting to jiggle again. He picked up his cup of coffee and took a distracted sip. "It's been three months," he said hesitantly.

"I know," Dan replied. He gestured toward the crumb-strewn coffee table. "Hence the celebratory cupcake."

"Well, um ... you have to wait three months for an HIV test to be really accurate..."

Dan stiffened slightly, figuring out where this was probably going.

Phil continued in a rush, "So I counted back to the last time I had sex with anyone else, and I went and got tested after three months, and I got the results today, and I'm totally clean. No HIV, no STIs, nothing. Totally clean." Phil glanced up at Dan's face.

Dan nodded slowly, absorbing the information. "I got tested right after we got together. You know, just in case. And I'm clean, too."

They stared at each other a long moment. Phil wiped his mouth with a self-conscious gesture, dislodging a few remaining cupcake crumbs and a smear of red icing.

Neither of them said anything for a long moment. Dan cleared his throat in the loaded silence. "Um ... don't you want to finish your cupcake?"

Phil laughed nervously. "You're thinking about baked goods after what I just said?"

"Well ... you know ... we've waited three months ... I think we can wait a few more minutes so you can enjoy the cupcake I brought you for our anniversary." Dan was clearly blushing now.

"Maybe you can wait," Phil muttered to himself, but Dan heard him and chuckled.

"It's worth waiting for," Dan said softly and came to sit beside Phil on the sofa. He picked up the cupcake and handed it to Phil. "Here. I got this for you, because I was thinking about you and how much I love you. I want to see you enjoy it."

Phil was silent a moment, then carefully placed the partially eaten cupcake back in the box. "I appreciate the thought, Dan. I really do. But the cupcake will still be here in a couple hours." He looked into Dan's eyes. "I've been waiting three months to be able to touch you properly ... and then for the past hour I've been going crazy waiting for you to get home ... and ... just ... please don't make me wait any more." He took a breath before continuing, looking into Dan's eyes. "I've been thinking about how much I love you, too, and I want to see you enjoy something much better than a cupcake." And a cheeky smirk touched his lips.

Dan ducked his head a little, smiling, then said, "Okay."

Phil let out a breath in a whoosh and exclaimed, "Finally!" which made them both laugh. Phil leapt off the couch and pulled a surprised Dan up with him, gulping at the sudden change in attitude. Phil took Dan's face in his hands and kissed him slowly, deeply, leaving him panting in the aftermath.

"Okay, fuck the cupcake. You've got me convinced," Dan breathed, gazing into Phil's eyes.

"Yes to the fucking. Later for the cupcake," Phil replied huskily as he reached down to take hold of Dan's hips and pull him closer, pressing their bodies together.

Dan groaned, then murmured, "It still freaks me out sometimes, how you can go from goofball to ... to freaking sex god ... within seconds."

Phil chuckled. "What can I say? Sometimes I want a red velvet cupcake, and sometimes I want to fuck. Now, less talking. And less clothing." He pulled Dan's t-shirt over his head, leaving his wavy hair ruffled, then began unbuttoning his own shirt. Dan's fingers tangled with his, trying to help with the task, so Phil left him to it and moved on to his belt. He got it undone quickly and tossed it on the floor, then began walking Dan down the hallway as they continued discarding items of clothing along the way. By the time they reached Phil's bedroom—what had become their bedroom—Dan was wearing only a sock and Phil was in his boxers. In seconds, they were both naked.

They paused in the center of the room, running their hands over each other's bare skin, and Phil leaned down to press a kiss to Dan's shoulder, then another to his cheek, before meeting his lips briefly, slowing them down. His voice was soft when he said, "I can't believe we can finally..." He trailed off, swallowing. For a moment he didn't meet Dan's eyes, then he asked quietly, "Do you think less of me ... for ... sleeping with all those people, before? For needing to be tested? Do you think I'm ... a slut?"

Dan pressed a hand on either side of Phil's face and made him meet his gaze. His brown eyes were earnest and serious as he said firmly, "No, Phil. You were always responsible and honest with the people you were with, and I respect that. And I'm just glad that you decided that you want to be with me." Then he grinned a cheeky grin and added, "And I don't mind reaping the benefits of all the stuff you learned over the years," which made Phil laugh and lessened the tension.

Phil ran his hands down Dan's back in a caress, feeling the shivers that ran through Dan's body as he asked in a low voice, "How do you want to do this?"

Dan reached up to twine his fingers in Phil's hair and pull him down into a kiss. When their lips parted, he husked out, "I want it both ways. Either way. What do you want?"

Phil groaned quietly and grasped Dan's hips tightly, his fingers pressing into the smooth flesh there. "I want it both ways, too. I want to feel you in me, but I want to be inside you, too. We can do both, but..."

"You in me," Dan interrupted. "Let's do that first. Like the first time." And then he kissed Phil with such sweetness and heat combined that Phil melted into their connection, his hands roaming Dan's body hungrily, as if he couldn't get enough. Phil nodded into the kiss and began backing Dan toward the bed.

Dan pulled down the covers and scooted to the middle of the bed, Phil following him immediately. Dan looked so soft and vulnerable there, his skin pale against the vivid blue and green sheets. Phil remembered when the younger Dan's skin was tanned from time in the sun, but their lifestyle of spending most of their time inside together had led to him becoming more and more pale over the years, though his skin would never be as pale as Phil's. Phil pressed a hand to Dan's chest and enjoyed the contrast of their skin tones, Phil's tending more toward pink and Dan's more toward olive. He met Dan's eyes, and saw that his lover was becoming impatient. As if Phil's gaze had given him permission, Dan grabbed Phil's hand and began to push it lower, but Phil resisted.

"I want this to be slow," Phil said softly. "The slowest we've ever been." He smiled, trying to let all his love show in his expression. "I've never done this before, never had sex without a condom, and I want this to be special ... for both of us."

They'd had many different kinds of sex in the past three months, and Phil had been thrilled to discover Dan's penchant for dirty talk and willingness to experiment, but tonight he wanted to savor every moment. They'd sometimes been fast and rough, sometimes slow and tender ... and tonight Phil wanted slow and tender. The slowest … the most tender.

He stroked his hand up to Dan's neck, then his cheek, and said, "I've never wanted anyone else the way I want you. I've never trusted anyone enough to do this, to take this chance. I've never wanted to wait for someone long enough to make this possible. But I've waited for you, to be able to do this with you. Let's not rush."

Dan nodded wordlessly, lifting a hand to press Phil's to his cheek, then taking Phil's hand to kiss the palm gently. He met Phil's eyes before slowly flicking out his tongue to taste the skin there. Phil inhaled sharply, then smiled. "Tease," he chided jokingly. He leaned down to kiss Dan with a lingering laziness, sometimes pulling away slightly to change the angle, sometimes tasting Dan's lips with gentle touches of his tongue, sometimes dipping inside to just barely brush Dan's tongue with his own. It was a prelude, a teasing hint at what was to come, and it soon had Dan arching beneath him, making small eager noises of frustration. Phil loved how vocal Dan was during sex and silently vowed to himself that tonight he would make Dan scream ... but he'd make him wait for it. It would only make the eventual satisfaction that much sweeter.

Phil stroked his hand down Dan's body to toy teasingly with the pubic hair surrounding his jutting cock, not touching him directly but moving lower to gently cup and caress his balls. Dan was moaning steadily now, his fingers clutching the sheets and his eyes squeezed tightly shut. "Jesus, Phil," he groaned. "I get that you want it slow, but does that mean you have to torture me?" Phil relented and moved his hand to rest lightly on Dan's cock, causing the other man to let out a sigh of relief and pleasure. He caressed the soft skin with slow strokes of his fingertips, not grasping the column of flesh but just exploring as if he'd never touched Dan before, as if he was experiencing Dan's body for the very first time. When he did wrap his hand around Dan's cock, he held him loosely, gently, and slid his hand up and down with a teasingly light touch. Dan's groan this time was loud enough that the neighbors were sure to hear. Phil smiled a bit to himself, acknowledging that they'd be giving the neighbors something to complain about tonight, and he wasn't even a little bit sorry.

"I could make you come like this," Phil offered in a low voice. "Help you last longer when I'm inside you. Would you like that?" His hand stroked loosely up and down, up and down, achingly slow.

Dan nodded eagerly. "Yes. Anything. Whatever you want. Just keep touching me."

Phil kept his touch slow and rhythmic, loose enough that he didn't need any lube because he was providing only the slightest amount of friction. It would take Dan longer to come this way, but that was fine with Phil. Still, it wasn't long at all before Dan's hips began thrusting into his touch and Phil leaned down to kiss him, continuing the motions of his hand. Dan whimpered against his lips and Phil deepened the kiss, thrusting his tongue into Dan's mouth in time with his hand's movements. When he perceived a growing desperation to Dan's thrusting and felt Dan's cock grow harder in his grasp, he began to move faster, still keeping his grip loose, knowing that orgasm was imminent. When Dan tensed, his hips lifting high off the bed as he thrust upward and cried out, Phil tightened his grip a bit as he gently worked him through his release, continuing his slow strokes until Dan collapsed limply onto the sheets.

"Jesus fuck," Dan breathed after a moment. "You're fucking good at that."

"I'm good at a lot of things," Phil whispered, leaning close to flick his tongue along Dan's earlobe. "And you're not so bad yourself."

"Give me a minute," Dan panted. "I think even my toes are throbbing."

Phil laughed quietly and pressed soft kisses to Dan's sweaty face. "I love you, you know."

"I know," Dan replied, his words jerky with his calming breaths. "I love you, too. Especially right now."

Phil laughed again and moved his hands to selfishly stroke his own chest and belly as he eyed his momentarily sated lover's face, rosy with the satisfaction Phil had given him. He lowered a hand to brush against his own hard cock, having become excited by giving Dan pleasure, by Dan's pleading noises and the beauty of his writhing body. Dan noticed what he was doing and raised an eyebrow. Phil smirked and took a firmer hold of his own cock. "I like looking at you like this," he said cheekily. "I like the noises you make and the way you look when I make you come. It gets me hard. So while you're recovering, I'll just … amuse myself." He took up a leisurely stroke with his right hand and raised his left to tweak one of his own nipples, purposely putting on a show for Dan. He licked his lips, his eyelids lowering slightly. He arched his neck in a way he knew was sure to get Dan's attention and suddenly found himself pinned to the bed by the other man's larger frame, firm lips pressing and biting at his neck. Phil chuckled in triumph even as he felt himself overpowered by Dan's greater strength and size holding him down.

Dan lifted his body slightly and slowly slid a hand down Phil's body to his cock, unceremoniously knocking Phil's hand out of the way. "Let me do that," he growled.

"Gladly," Phil replied, feeling himself grow harder in Dan's grasp. He closed his eyes with pleasure and let his lips fall open on a gasp.

Dan took the opportunity to kiss him. It started out hard and deep, but then apparently Dan remembered Phil's request that they take this slow tonight and his lips gentled, his tongue exploring rather than conquering, and Phil raised a hand to tangle in Dan's hair, tugging slightly in a way he knew Dan liked. Phil's other hand roamed Dan's back, still hot and damp from his orgasm. The remnants of sweat allowed his hand to glide smoothly along the sleek skin. At the same time, Dan's hand was teasing his cock, making him buck in a bid for more sensation.

"So dominant!" Phil purred. "You sure you don't want to just wait a few minutes to get your strength back and take me like some swooning Victorian virgin?"

Dan huffed out a laugh that Phil could feel against his ear and cheek. "Neither of us is any swooning Victorian virgin. I like you just the way you are, confidant and clever and absolutely my equal. Though I don't promise I won't be swooning when you fuck me, because you're just that good." His hand continued to move below and Phil gasped out a breath. Dan continued with a smirk, "That was a hint, by the way."

Phil rolled them so that he was on top, nudging Dan's hand away and propping himself on his elbows and thrusting along Dan's cock, which was valiantly struggling back halfway to hardness. The slickness of Dan's come between them made the motion smooth and easy. Neither of them had ever been squeamish about sex being a messy business, and the slipperiness of fresh come was handy sometimes. Phil could feel Dan harden even more against him. Dan sighed, hands roaming Phil's back. "You feel so good."

"Gonna make you feel so good," Phil replied. "Imagine me inside you, nothing between us, just every ridge of my cock rubbing against the walls inside you, my tip nudging your prostate…" Phil's thrusting had become more urgent without him realizing it as his words had an effect on him as well as Dan. He took a deep breath and slowed. Dan arched up beneath him, but Phil grabbed his hips and held them down. "Give me a sec. I got a little worked up and I don't want this to be over too soon." He closed his eyes and just breathed for a moment. When he opened his eyes again, he looked down at Dan with pale eyes shining with emotion. "Let me do this, okay?" Dan nodded, raising a hand to stroke one pale, high cheekbone. He smiled and pressed a gentle kiss to Phil's lips. Phil smiled back.

Phil reached for the lube that sat on the nightstand, always ready for its frequent use. One of these days he was going to forget to hide it before making one of his videos and the fans would go crazy. But he wasn't thinking about that right now. Right now, all he could think about was the warm, willing man beneath him, and how much he loved him.

Dan's reaction to the first slippery finger inside him was a gratifying moan and a lovely arching of his neck as his head pressed back into the pillow. "Yes," he gasped, and Phil inserted another finger, sliding both in and out in a slow rhythm, curling them up to brush only very gently against Dan's prostate. Dan's hips bucked. "Another," he begged, and Phil added a third finger, feeling Dan's rim stretch around him. It wasn't long before they both knew Dan was ready, and Phil was lining himself up, tip just touching Dan's slippery hole as he paused, hesitating. He began to slide inside exquisitely slowly, feeling the slick friction against the sensitive head of his cock for the first time. When his crown had breached the ring of muscle and he felt himself actually inside, just that first bit, Phil paused again, breathing deeply.

"You okay?" Dan whispered, watching his face, and Phil smiled down at him reassuringly.

"Just not wanting this to be over before it starts. I've been thinking about this since we first talked about it, so I'm a little over-excited." Phil could feel his face heat. He'd always been smugly proud of his own stamina, so admitting this was more than a little embarrassing.

But Dan only smiled at him and raised his head to press a kiss to his lips. "I've been wanting this, too. Just having you inside me is incredible. Take it as slow as you want."

Phil nodded and adjusted his grip on Dan's legs, making sure both of them were comfortable before he continued his slow slide into Dan's body. He closed his eyes tightly and just focused on the slippery heat around him, the feel of Dan's walls caressing his flesh in a way he'd never felt before. He'd known sex would be different without a condom, but he hadn't expected this intense rush of sensation. But then he opened his eyes and looked down at Dan's beautiful, shining face and knew it was mostly because of the person he was sharing it with. When he was as far inside Dan as he could get, he leaned down and kissed him, slow and lingering. "I love you so much," he murmured earnestly, trying to put everything he was feeling into the words, and Dan wrapped his arms around Phil in a tight embrace.

"I love you, too," Dan said, and Phil could hear the truth in his words, and in all the words they'd spoken to each other in the last three months, and he began to move.

As Phil had requested, they went at a leisurely, easy pace, their hips moving together with the dextrous familiarity of much practice. They kissed lips, cheeks, eyelids, everywhere they could reach, their lips tender and delicate against each other's skin. "Does it feel different?" Phil asked quietly after a while, and Dan nodded.

"It's more intense, more … intimate. It feels like … you … inside me. For the first time." His voice was thready with need.

Phil nodded, then rested his forehead against Dan's shoulder for a moment. "I can feel your muscles, fluttering around me. I can feel … everything." His lips against Dan's then were firmer than they had been, and his strokes began to speed up. "I can't … I can't wait…" and Dan nodded eagerly, granting permission if Phil had needed any.

Phil's thrusts grew harder and faster, sweat beading on his face and chest as Dan's hands stroked his arms and shoulders, fingers occasionally clutching when Phil hit the right spot inside him. Phil was aware that he wasn't displaying his usual finesse, wasn't making this as good for Dan as it could be, but he was so caught up in his own sensations that he felt swept away by his own experience. He felt his orgasm begin to build and ground out, "God, Dan, I'm gonna come!" before it fully hit him and rendered him incapable of breathing, let alone making any noise as his entire body stiffened and clenched with the pleasure rocketing through him. He wished he could see Dan's face in that moment, but his eyes had clenched shut against his will and he was unable to open them until the waves of ecstasy began to recede and he gulped in a rush of air. His eyes met Dan's, and those brown eyes were looking at him with such depths of love that their eye contact was almost as intense as his orgasm had been. Phil leaned down to kiss Dan passionately and felt the hard cock pressed between their bellies. When Dan bottomed, Phil always tried to make sure Dan came first, but this time he'd lost track of the niceties in his own eagerness. But it wasn't too late.

Easing himself gently out of Dan's body, Phil slid down to take Dan's cock into his mouth. It tasted faintly of his earlier release, but also of their combined sweat and just the unique taste of Dan's warm skin. Dan cried out loudly at the feeling of Phil's hot mouth engulfing him and Phil remembered his determination to make Dan scream tonight. He slid three fingers inside Dan's well-slicked hole and unerringly found his prostate, stroking over it just the way he knew Dan loved, again and again, at the same time as he used all of his considerable skills to pleasure Dan's cock. It wasn't long before Dan was arching off the bed and yelling out Phil's name in a very gratifying way that Phil was certain must have startled the neighbors. But, come to think of it, maybe the neighbors were getting used to those sorts of noises from them these days. Not wanting this to end, Phil gently suckled Dan's cock in his mouth until it began to soften and Dan pulled away out of sensitivity.

Dan pulled him up into his arms and they held each other tightly for a long moment. Their sweat gradually cooled and Phil became chilled, so he reached down to pull the blankets up over them both, but then he pulled Dan into his arms again and pressed a tender kiss to his mouth.

"So," Dan breathed against his lips. "How was your first time without a condom?"

Phil chuckled weakly. He shook his head and tried to find the right words. "If it hadn't been with you, it wouldn't have mattered. But because it was with you, it was spectacular."

Dan blushed but looked happy. They kissed again.

Phil leaned over to flick a tongue into Dan's ear and murmured, "And next time, it's my turn."

Dan rolled them again so that he was on top and nipped at Phil's neck playfully. "If you hadn't already given me two amazing orgasms in the last hour, I'd take you up on that right now!"

"Promises, promises," Phil smirked.

Dan tried to swat him on the butt, but could only reach his hip from this angle, so he settled for giving him a reproachful glare. "It's your fault I'm so well-satisfied I can't take advantage of you right now, you know."

Phil sighed melodramatically. "Yes, I'm aware. I'm just so fantastic in bed that I've worn you out. I guess I'll have to wait until morning."

Dan grinned. "Count on it."

They lay together for long moments, bodies intertwined, feeling each other's breath, feeling the sweat and come growing sticky and sort of gross between them, both thinking longingly of a hot shower, when suddenly Phil gasped.

"What?" Dan pulled away to ask in concern.

But Phil was leaping out of the bed in a flail of long limbs, stark naked. "There's a red velvet cupcake in the lounge!" he exclaimed excitedly.

Dan collapsed back onto the bed in relief, a fondly amused smile on his face. "You should go get it, then."

Phil grinned at him and tore off running out of the room. Priorities.

Author's End Note: Don't let anybody ever pressure you to have sex without a condom just because it will feel better. Be safe, get tested, and use condoms unless you're absolutely sure.