Set in Season 9, after the angels fall and Cas loses his grace. Ezekiel/Gadreel doesn't exist in this fic

Dean wasn't used to staying in one place for too long, but he could definitely get used to this. The Bunker was great. Safe, even quiet for the most part. It felt like home, and for that he was thankful. He never thought he'd be the type to settle down. Then again, he never thought he'd be in a relationship with a guy either. But here he was.

Technically Cas wasn't a "guy" per se, he was an angel. But it had taken Dean waaaay to long to admit to himself he wasn't 100% straight. Even longer to admit it to Cas. But in the Crypt, when the angel was under Naomi's control and about to kill him, he couldn't die without saying those words.

"I love you."

He'd broken through Naomi's hold, but Cas didn't stay. They didn't even talk about it, and Dean spent weeks beating himself up. Had he scared his friend away? But he couldn't dwell on it, they had the Trials to finish, and surely Cas had his own "angel-stuff" going on.

Well, things went to shit for the both of them, in a big way.

Sam was still recovering from the Trials. He had nearly died. It had only been a month, and he could barely move around the kitchen without help. He slept most of the time, which was concerning. But he was getting better, and that's what counted.

Cas was human.

He'd called Dean from a payphone, explaining how Metatron had betrayed him, stolen his Grace, and caused the angels to fall. Dean was still pissed that he hadn't called sooner, but his anger was forgotten as soon as he drove to pick him up from the middle of nowhere.

Cas had looked so broken. Clothes muddy and torn, shoulders hunched in defeat...and his eyes. Like all the fight had left them. He got into the Impala, avoiding eye-contact with Dean. The only words he said the whole drive was a heartfelt "thank you."

They arrived at the bunker, and Dean showed him to the showers. He left some of his own clothes outside the door; Cas would have to borrow them until they had a chance to go shopping.

His friend emerged from the showers looking better. Dean's heart skipped a beat at the sight of Cas wearing his shirt. It was a red hoodie he hadn't worn in forever, but the former angel made it look good. The gray sweatpants looked a little loose, but they would do.

"Hey. How you feeling?"

"Human." Cas said, still avoiding Dean's eyes.

"It's not so bad." Dean lied. "You'll get used to it."

"I don't want to get used it!" Cas looked up for the first time, and Dean was shocked to see tears in his eyes.

"Cas..."

"Did you mean it?" His friend stared up at him with those vulnerable blue eyes.

Dean instantly knew what he was talking about. "Yeah. I meant it." He pulled Cas into his arms and just held him while the angel's shoulders shook with silent sobs. "Shh, it's okay. I've got you." He shed a few tears of his own with Cas's face buried in his chest.

He half-carried Cas to bed. It was late, so he didn't have time to put the guest bedroom together. He laid Cas down on his own bed. It was more comfortable anyway. He tucked him in like he was a child, and turned off the light. He went to go sleep on the couch, but couldn't walk away when Cas called out to him.

"Please stay," He pleaded.

Dean sighed and pulled up a chair, but Cas's hand shot out and grabbed his wrist. "Will you...sleep next to me?"

He blinked, surprised at the request. "Umm..."

"Please."

God, how could he resist that? He climbed into bed next to Cas, and the angel settled right in, back pressed against Dean's chest. He didn't know what to do with his hands, so he did what felt natural; wrapped them around Cas's waist. Enveloped in warmth, the angel finally started to relax.

"I love you too." He whispered softly.

Despite the obviously horrible situation that had brought them together, Dean was happy. Worried as hell about Cas, of course, but happy. Here he was, holding his best friend. They'd finally been able to say the words that mattered most, and maybe things would be okay.

Cas wanted to go out and start looking for a way to fix things; to return the angels to Heaven and get his Grace back...but Dean managed to convince him to stay at the Bunker until he got the hang of being human.

Truth be told, he wanted to go with Cas when he left, help him out and maybe even find Metadouche. Oh, how he wanted to beat the living shit out of that fucker. But with Sam still weak, he felt like he should stay here. Looking after his little brother was his main priority.

He'd expected Sam to be shocked when he learned of his relationship with Cas, but the younger Winchester just gave a knowing smirk and said, "It's about damn time."

Kevin seemed a little more surprised, but accepted it without question.

The prophet had been staying with them as well, up until recently. They had Crowley chained in their basement, and he'd let it slip that Kevin's mother was still alive. This prompted a quick rescue mission, which had almost ended in disaster.

Sam was in no shape to be up and around, and the young prophet was too emotional to be objective. So Dean and Cas went to the location where Linda Tran was being held. There were five demons guarding her, and it should've been easy. But Cas overestimated his strength. He must've forgotten he was human for a moment, and tried to smite the black-eyed sons of bitches. They knocked him out within the first 10 minutes. Dean ended up killing all five of them, and essentially rescuing Mrs. Tran single-handedly.

When Cas regained consciousness, he apologized profusely. Dean just kissed him and told him it was fine; there was no point in making him feel worse. They drove to the hospital where Mrs. Tran was admitted for dehydration, and Cas was treated for a bad concussion.

Kevin was thrilled to have his mother back safely, and he moved in with her. (After thoroughly demon-proofing their home)

With Kevin gone, the Bunker seemed even quieter. Cas didn't talk much, and Dean was getting worried. The angel spent all his time on Sam's laptop, trying to keep track of Metatron sightings through the internet. Apparently the angel's God-complex was manifesting itself in new ways; he called himself Marv, and walked among the humans pretending to be a miracle-worker. But he never stayed in one place, and Cas couldn't find a pattern to his "miracles".

Cas wanted to go out; staying here seemed so pointless. But as the recent events had demonstrated, he was basically useless. He trained with Dean, trying to get a sense of his new human limits. He had to admit, it definitely boosted his confidence. The hunter would stare at his body throughout the workout, licking his lips as those green eyes raked over his body with approval. Dean insisted he was 'pretty buff for a tax accountant', but he was at a fraction of his old strength.

He was trying to adjust, but the human emotions were getting the best of him. Everything was too much. It seemed like whenever he slept, his dreams were filled with horror. Memories, images...centuries worth of violence. His only comfort was waking up to Dean. The hunter would hold him closer, kiss his forehead, and ask if he wanted to talk about it. He never did.

Cas realized that he was only staying alive for Dean at this point. He saw no purpose in burdening this planet with his presence any longer. The factions of angels would eventually stop battling and one side would emerge victorious. There would be a new God. Earth had survived celestial regime changes before, this time would be no different.

But Dean...

He hated the idea of leaving him now. Just when the hunter had found happiness. He'd been alive for centuries, and was now unconcerned with the fate of the world. But somehow he couldn't bear to cause this one human more pain. Dean had lost so much already...

So he kept fighting. Tried to be okay. And sometimes, he was. He truly loved Dean. The rare moments when they laughed together, when he would catch the hunter staring at him with adoration he didn't deserve...those were the things keeping him alive.

But he was drowning. Choking on the idea he could ever belong here.