Quiddity

A Criminal Minds Story

She wasn't sure where she was or where she was going. She was in a daze of confusion as she plodded forward with her arms stretched out blindly before her. It was dark and her vision was fuzzy and fading. Her palms and fingers scraped and jammed against bark and branches while guiding her way. She wasn't running, but she felt this sense urgency and fear. All she knew is that she had to get away, far far away. She had to get help. With each step she had to tug her foot out of the soft, sinking ground.

Through her half-there gaze she spotted it: a clearing up ahead. Moving quicker she tumbled forward her heart racing. She emerged from the woods nearly relieved, but just as confused. She didn't know where she was. She didn't know where she was going. Swaying with the light wind she barely understood her surroundings. With two streetlights as her only guide she made out a bench and a swing-set, then a slide.

A park.

She was at a park. Where there was a park there had to be a road or a house. She needed help, but she wasn't sure why. She needed a phone. Black dots clouded her vision as she continued to walk forward. Her body was drained and her legs were lead as she dragged herself forward. Road or house gone from her mind as she made contact with one of the benches and made it her destination. If she could just get to the bench… she could rest for just a minute.

The whole ground shifted as she felt the difference under her feet. It was more solid, more secure. Her feet started to scrape rather than drag. Her body was giving out on her, and she could tell, but her mind was telling her that she needed to get help. It was important, but she couldn't remember. She couldn't remember. If she could just get to the bench. Maybe then, maybe then she'd remember.

Rain started to lightly fall, but she barely noticed as she collapsed onto the bench, sitting there like she meant to be there all along. Breathing rapidly she brought the back of her hand to her forehead and wiping it across like that would calm her down, but instead she left a streak of something wet, but almost thick on her skin. Bringing her palms close to her eyes as she struggled to focus on them in the shadowed light.

It was though she had swallowed a rock as a feeling hit her stomach hard. Even in her state there was no mistaking the fluid on her hands. It was blood and she was covered in it. As fear engulfed her she pictured it in her hair and on her clothes. Something bad had happened, but she couldn't remember. She couldn't remember anything. Looking up for someone, anyone who would help her she found herself completely alone in a park in the dark. She had to find someone, get to someone, but she couldn't move. Someone needed her, but she couldn't remember.

Did she hurt someone? Was it her blood? It couldn't be. She wasn't in any pain. Was she? Where was she? Where was she going? Questions raced through her mind as she remained on the bench, her arms resting on her legs with her palms facing the sky. Looking beyond her arms and to her feet, she saw her toes. Her bare toes. She wasn't wearing shoes. Did she lose them?

Looking back at the blood her mind found focus on only one question, "What did I do?" Suddenly feeling very alone and very exposed the young woman also felt glued to the bench, staring at her red hands. The light rain turned into heavy, pelting drops and she still couldn't move as she watched the red drip away.

The evidence. She thought. She was watching the evidence of whatever had happened before she made it to the bench wash away. It was guilt, she figured, it was some kind of horrific guilt over what she had done that made her run from the woods and forget how she got there in the first place. It was guilt, it had to be. She hurt someone. Did she hurt someone? Where are her shoes? The cold and the wet engulfed her and she didn't move at all even as the rain stopped and the sun proudly displayed its rays as morning arrived.

...

Julie Johnston of Virginia ran every morning through the park just as the sun lit up the sky. It was always beautiful she thought, to see the sun peek over the trees. Plus it was empty, always empty, but not today. In fact, if Julie hadn't of snagged her hand on the cord of headphones that caused her to stop then she might not have seen her. She wouldn't have seen young blond woman sitting on the bench in a t-shirt and jeans. A young woman with her arms rested on her legs with the palms facing up as though she was holding something important and heavy.

What really struck Julie as strange was lack of jacket because it was cold outside, very cold. "Ma'am?" Julie called out as she hesitantly moved forward. The woman didn't move; didn't flinch. Her hair was stuck together in wet strands as it hung just below her shoulders. Apprehension clutched Julie's heart as she stared at the woman only to feel slightly relieved that she was indeed breathing after catching the slow rise and fall of her chest and the movement in her shoulders.

She didn't know who she was walking towards it could be a drug-addicted, crazed psychopath or someone carrying an infectious disease. She watched enough cop shows to feel wary about approaching a jacket-less woman sitting alone on a bench just a little after sunrise in the chilly weather. With one slow step in front of the other she inched towards the still form as though Julie was walking a tight-rope.

"Excuse me. Ma'am?" Julie tried again, but received no response. Julie gingerly sat next to the woman on the bench's very edge. She caught the bare feet and the red smudges on the damp, torn, light grey shirt and the scratches on the forearms and face. The dark bruise healing bruised across that was spread across her right cheek and the smaller bruises that dotted her arms. The woman looked as though she hadn't eaten in days.

Julie took in more of the woman's appearance as she pulled out her phone to call the police. She was tall 5'7 maybe and slim. Her hair was a darker blonde, wet, and her eyes from what Julie could see were strikingly blue. Julie couldn't place it, but she felt like the woman was familiar. Like she had seen her from somewhere. That is when it hit her. One of the missing FBI agents that had been on the news for the last week. What was the name? What was the name? Julie searched her brain for an answer.

Agent Jenn… Jennifer… Jennifer Jareau. That was it. Julie was sure it was her.

"Jennifer? Jennifer Jareau?" For just a flicker of a second the blue eyes moved towards Julie and there was a hint of recognition. Julie's heart soared. It was her! Julie reached forward without actually touching the agent.,"My name is Julie. I'm going to call for help okay? A lot of people are looking for you"

"911. What's your emergency?" A calm voice answered on the other line.

"My name is Julie Johnston. I think I found one of the missing FBI Agents from the news. She's just sitting on the bench. She's not responding and I think she might be hurt…"

Julie stared at JJ with a small shake of her head as she realized that she might have run right by her. She sat with the still agent with her her fingers squished between her knees. Her green eyes moved towards her blue ones. She didn't know what to do as she simply sat, hoping that the agent knew she wasn't alone anymore. That help was coming. Then as she glanced at her watch Julie wondered if her work would excuse her from being late this time.

She hoped so. This was a pretty good excuse.

Soon the air was filled with sirens as what looked like the entire local police department flooded the area. Two paramedics rushed over with an orange board and a red bag. Excitement on their faces as though this was the best call they had received all week. Both were young, early 20s Julie guessed, like her. The police spread out across the area as though they were clearing it.

Julie didn't leave her position next to the agent even after the two skidded to a halt beside them. "Did you see what happened? What's her name?" It took Julie a full minute to realize the young man was talking to her. She stared at him for another minute while she tried to recall the agent's from the depths of her shocked mind.

"Je-Jennifer, I think," Julie stammered, "She hasn't said anything or moved really. I believe she's one of the FBI agents from the news."

The paramedic nodded as he and his partner turned their attention back to JJ, "Jennifer. Jennifer, my name is Timothy and this is Sean. Can you hear me? She might be in shock." Tim looked to the other guy as Jennifer still didn't move. Her eyes staring at her palms, the deep red that once covered them now looked like a watercolor that had too much water.

Tim reached to touch her when JJ's eyes shot forward widening considerably as she shook her head, "No! No!" her voice weak as it trembled and she tried to push herself into the bench, "Stop!" It was almost as if the reaction was involuntary. Her blue eyes were glossed over as if she didn't know where she was or what was happening. Julie, shocked by the sudden outburst stood up with her arms outstretched towards JJ as she debated how she could help the distraught woman in this situation.

"Jennifer. Jennifer. It's okay. We're just here to help!" Tim tried again as he reached out one more time.

"No. No," The once missing blonde shrunk from his touch. The police started to move towards them now having heard the commotion. Julie, once again sitting by JJ, suddenly felt painfully out of place. The paramedics stood back slowly to talk with the police. She heard talks about restraints or a sedative. Her heart to think that this agent who has just been through who know what being taken in that way. So she did the only thing she could think of.

"Agent Jareau, can you hear me?" Julie's voice was soft and comforting. She smiled when the blonde looked up at the mention of her name, "you're safe now. These men just want to make sure that you aren't hurt. Will you let them take you to a hospital?" Julie let her hand sit next to JJ's leg making no move to touch the now trembling agent. She stared at her for just a moment with JJ staring back. It was as the officers and paramedics moved closer that Julie caught it. A nearly imperceptible nod.

Fifteen minutes later JJ had a neck brace on and was being carried to the ambulance. Julie watched them load her in with a sideways glance as she spoke to the officer to give her statement.

"May I go with her?" She interrupted the officer, "I just don't want her to feel alone."

Seconds later she was holding Jennifer Jareau's hand and they were about to drive away when a dark SUV roared up and an agent that Julie recognized from the news barreled towards them. He waved his credentials at the worried officers, "My name is Derek Morgan. I got a call." The officer that Julie spoke to motioned towards the ambulance. He nodded and jumped inside, barely acknowledging Julie as he picked up Jennifer's other hand.

"JJ, JJ it's me Derek. Can you hear me?" Her blue eyes looked towards him and Julie caught the smallest of tears leave her eye. She recognized him. That was good.

"Agent, I'm sorry, but we have to go. You can ride with, but we have to leave now," The bold paramedic nearly demanded.

"Just wait one moment," The agent named Derek sternly added before looking back to his once missing teammate, "JJ, JJ where is Emily?"

Emily. That's right, Julie remembered now the dark haired agent whose picture was shown next to Agent Jareau's. She was missing too. She is missing, still.

"Derek?" her voice was weak and soft, but she was talking. Julie smiled at Morgan as though she had just witnessed a miracle, "My shoes. I don't have my shoes." The blonde agent muttered nearly incoherently. Her eyelids fading in and out as she tried to peel them open. Staring at Morgan like what she just said made perfect sense. Julie watched as his eyes softened with what she felt was disappointment and relief.

"Okay Jayje, but I need you to focus for just a second," Morgan gripped her hand tighter, "Where is Emily?"

"I had to leave them," JJ's heart started to beat faster as she became visibly upset, "I had to leave them." Her voice was strained as she tried to get up from her position. Her frantic blue eyes moved back and forth as she scratched at her arms and hands. "I shouldn't have left."

The paramedic, very agitated now shook his head as he pushed JJ's shoulder back to the board to keep her from moving any more, "That's enough agent. We need to leave now."

Morgan looked back at JJ, who he could tell was hanging to consciousness by a thread. "The trees …," JJ breathed harshly, "I had to leave them in the trees."

His eyes widened in understanding, "Okay JJ. Okay I'll find them. You," Morgan pointed to Julie, "I need you to stay by her side and don't let anyone near her, you got it?"

Julie nodded, "Got it."

JJ could barely keep her eyes opened and was confused as suddenly Morgan disappeared from her sight. She wondered if he was ever there to begin with. Was it a dream? Was she rescued? Emily? Where was Emily? Her shoes? Back to Emily, she left Emily. Didn't she? Her eyes rolled back and forth as she tried to remain awake. JJ didn't feel right, like her mind wasn't fully hers. It was like someone was molding it like dough. She couldn't remember anything. Just the blood on her hands. The bench. Morgan. Fear gripped her as she wondered where she was and where she was going.

"It's okay. You're going to be okay," It was the voice of the girl. The girl on the bench. JJ could see her shadowed appearance in front of her. JJ could feel the girl's hands clutching hers, but she couldn't see the face. She couldn't see anything really, "It's going to be okay."

With one last haunting realization JJ let herself slip into darkness; The blood. The blood on her hands. It was Emily's.

Hi everyone! So I know I have two stories that have yet to be finished and haven't been updated in a long time. I sincerely hope that I get to them soon and will finish them, but just am stuck currently. Please let me know what you think of this new chapter. I apologize for any grammar mistakes ahead of time. I know that they are in there somewhere. If you have any suggestions or criticisms please let me know.

Thanks!

-HCB