Adam first put together that he was different when he met Guy Germaine.

Adam had just joined the Ducks. He was still so new that no one really talked to him.

Well, that was until Guy Germaine scooted up to him in the locker room. Adam was just lacing up his skates when Guy sat down next to him, all geared up, heart eyed, and ready to tell the new kid every little thing he loved about Connie Monraue.

That's how his friendship with Guy started and was the first step of him getting in with the rest of the team, but it was also when he noticed he was different.

Because the way Guy talked about Connie, how he thought she smelled so nice and he wanted to hold her hand all the time. All the other guys made fun of him for it, but Adam understood him because he felt the same way about Casey Larson.

Larson was Adam's best friend, at school and on the ice, it only made sense that he would be Adam's first crush.

And first heartbreak, since Larson stops talking to Adam the second he decides to join the Ducks. Adam loses almost all his friends that day actually, but he doesn't really miss any of them. Once the Ducks start to take their place, Adam realises the Hawks never really were his friends, they just put up with him because he was good.

He knows that's not the case with the Ducks. He's reminded every time Connie invites him to go and hang out at the mall with her, when he sees Averman or Goldberg on the street and they make faces at him instead of actually saying hello to him, or when Charlie calls him every Saturday without fail to see if Adam wants to play in their pick up game.

Larson's rejection hurts, sure, but the family Adam gets in exchange more than makes up for it.

...

The first time Adam accepts that he's gay, it's at the Goodwill games.

He's known he's gay for a while. Or, well, he's thought about it. He knows he likes boys in the same way that Connie and Julie do. He knows he likes boys in the same way that the rest of the team likes girls. He's had crushes, ranging from some of the guys on the Ducks to random boys at school. He doesn't tell anyone about them, of course, he just sticks close to Connie and Guy because they're to caught up in each other to worry about who Adam is crushing on.

He knows he's gay, but he hates himself for it and really wishes he wasn't.

Because he thinks it's a sin, he thinks it's horrible. It's either complete taboo and not talked about or being damned by his parents. His parents had made it very clear that they do not approve of that lifestyle. That's the word they used and they spit it out like acid. The Catholic church, the Pope, did not approve of homosexuals, that was only part of Mr. and Mrs. Banks's reasoning. Adam doesn't really understand what's wrong about him liking other boys, but he just knows that he wants to make his parents proud.

He knows, being gay would make his parents the opposite of proud.

But then, he sees that there is nothing wrong with it.

They're walking down the streets of LA. Charlie is on one side and Guy is on his other. Guy is holding Connie's hand and Fulton and Portman are ahead of them, pushing at each other.

And when they cross the street, they walk by a couple. It's two men, walking hand in hand.

Adam almost stops, right there in the middle of the crosswalk, but he doesn't. He keeps walking and kinda stares at the couple, but no one seems to notice Adam's little panicked epiphany. They all notice the couple though. There are no snide comments from his friends or others passing by. From what Adam sees, most don't even give them a second glance.

And that random, gay couple in the middle of LA is what gives Adam enough courage to accept himself.

...

The first person Adam comes out to is Julie during the summer before junior year.

And it's a total and utter accident.

They were at a bonfire on the lake, the whole team was there as well as a lot of other kids from Eden Hall. Adam's parents had taken his sisters on a trip for the weekend so the Ducks were hosting the party on the lake where they had their first practice. It wasn't a rager by any means but it was well attended and the alcohol was not in short supply.

Scoter had broken up with Julie that day so the Cat Lady was drowning herself in alcohol trying to get over it. Connie, the designated driver for the night and Mom Friend year round, had put Adam on babysitting duty while she went to the bathroom. "It'll be ten minutes tops," she had said, but Adam was still sitting next to Julie a half hour later.

"Banksy," Julie said, "I think I'm gonna vomit."

Adam just rolled his eyes and helped Julie to her feet and away from the center of the crowd. "C'mon, let's get you away from the fire," Adam said, swaying on his feet. He was pretty tipsy himself, but nowhere near as drunk as Julie. He plopped the two of them down over by the trees, far enough from the fire to not breathe in too much smoke but close enough to still see what was going on. "Feel better?"

Julie hummed and slumped against Adam's shoulder. "I think so," she said. She lifted her head up and paused for a moment before leaning in to kiss Adam.

Adam leaned back, pushing lightly on Julie's shoulder. "Julie, I-."

"Of fucking course. This is just great," Julie said, slumping against a tree. "I can't even get the nicest guy I know to give me a pity drunk kiss. No wonder Scoter broke up with me."

"Julie, it's not like that-" Adam started but Julie interrupted him.

"Than what is it like, Banks!" Julie snapped. "Am I just that ugly and unlovable? Did Scoter just put up with me for the last two years because he couldn't find anything better?"

"I'm gay." The words left his mouth without a thought. He was clearly much more drunk than he thought. His stomach clenched in fear and he considered running away, but then Julie didn't react like he thought.

Julie didn't flinch away or curse his existence or say she could fix him, like Adam expected. Julie didn't give much of a reaction at all, she just started laughing and buried her face in her hands. "I am such an ass."

"You're not an ass," Adam said with more relief than comfort.

"I tried pressuring a gay guy into making out with me because I'm sad my boyfriend broke up with me. I'm the definition of an ass," Julie said.

"No, you're not," Adam said, scooting closer to her so their sides are pressed together. "You didn't know I was gay, I can't hold anything against you for that. And you just had your heart broken, Julie, you're allowed to act a little crazy. You and Scoter were dating for over a year and a half and breaking up with you for the reasons he did was a total ass move. You deserve way better than him and I'm glad he showed his real colors now so you can see that and move on."

Julie sniffled and wiped at her face with her sleeve before crushing Adam in a hug. "Thanks, Adam, I think I really needed to hear that."

"Anytime."

He came out to Connie less than a week later for the sole reason that Julie can't keep a secret from her best friend and didn't feel comfortable telling her something that big. It was that moment that Connie became his best friend because she is the most accepting person Adam has ever met.

...

Adam has his first relationship with a guy at his parents lake house in the summer between junior and senior year.

The Banks always go to the lake house on the Mississippi River for a few weeks over the summer. This summer wasn't different. Except for the Hanigans rented the house next door.

The Hanigans were a family a lot like the Bankses. They were a rich, nuclear family from Wisconsin that rented the house on the River to get away for a few weeks.

They had a son Adam's age and they became fast friends and something more even faster.

Sam was Adam's first for a lot of things: first kiss, first handjob. They didn't really have a relationship. There were no dates, just making out in the Banks's boat house or the back of Sam's car. Adam didn't really like him, but it still kinda hurt to say goodbye to him at the end of the summer. It really hurt when Sam didn't want to exchange numbers because he didn't want his girlfriend back home finding out about their little "fling."

Adam was hurt and disappointed until he went to the old rink the day after he got back and saw Charlie practicing. After that, he forgot all about Sam.

...

It was the first party of senior year.

It was the first weekend after classes started up again and one of the local cheerleaders was throwing a house party.

"C'mon, Banksy, you've gotta have your first kiss sometime!" Averman yelled dramatically.

"Who says I haven't had my first kiss?" Adam asked, unamused by Averman's antics.

Averman snorted. "Ok sure, I'm sure you've kissed tons of girls, especially since the only ones you can actually talk to are Connie and Julie."

Adam just rolled his eyes and sat down between Charlie and Dwayne whispering under his breath, "I can talk to Tammy too you asshole." Charlie snorted next to him and knocked his shoulder lightly as Kenny spun the bottle.

He watched a lot of awkward kisses between the team before Julie spun the bottle and it landed on Adam. And, while kissing a girl is Adam's worst fear, it's not as bad as he thought it was going to be. It wasn't as good as kissing Sam, sure, but it wasn't horrendous. The kiss wasn't good enough to stop Adam from pulling a face after. He didn't feel to bad about it once he saw Julie doing the same.

"Wow, Banksy," Averman chides playfully. "Is Julie really that gross."

"No," Adam said, "in my opinion, girls are just that gross."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Goldberg asked dumbly.

Adam doesn't even think about it before he says it, the truth has to come out eventually, "I'm gay." A silence fell over the group and, if the party wasn't still going on around them, it would have been scary how quiet the room would have been.

The silence lasts for a moment before Portman stands up and pulls Adam to his feet. For a split second, Adam is half convinced Portman is going to punch him, but then Adam is caught in the biggest hug he's ever been in. And Adam hugs back just as fiercely. Portman pulls away after a few seconds, his hands on Adam's shoulders and a big grin on his face. "Thanks for the honesty, Banks, and for trusting us so much. If anyone ever says anything, I'll beat them up for you."

Adam is grinning widely. "Thanks, Portman. Means a lot."

Portman claps Adam on the shoulder. "Now let's get back to the game. Someone's gotta give Averman his first kiss!"

"Hey! There is a line around the block to kiss the Av-minster, I'll have you know!"

Adam is still smiling when he sits back down in the circle, glad that him coming out was just so downplayed and not a big deal. Connie is giving him a thumbs up from across the circle and Julie gives him a composed nod. When he looks to his left at Charlie, he's grinning. Charlie wraps his arm around his shoulders and pulls Adam in for a somewhat awkward side hug.

"Good job, Banksy," he whispered.

"Thanks, Spazway."

...

The lock on Julie and Connie's door has been broken since junior year and a very drunk Dwayne decided rounding up an equally drunk team of hockey players was a good idea.

The broken lock isn't necessarily common knowledge. Besides Connie and Julie, the only people that know are the floor director, the janitor, and, of course, Adam.

Adam completely abuses the power.

Especially when he goes barging into Connie and Julie's room the morning after the party.

"I have a problem!" Adam said, barging into Connie and Julie's room early in the morning and effectively waking up Connie.

"I think-" Adam said. "I think I'm in love with Charlie."

"Well that's pretty cliche, isn't it?" Julie asked. "Gay boy falling in love with his best friend?"

"I swear to God, Julie, I came here for support not to be attacked," Adam snapped, throwing one of Connie's pillows at Julie.

Connie only rolled her eyes at their antics. She grabbed Adam's shoulder and pulled him down next so he was sitting next her her on her bed. "Ok, Adam, what happened? Why do you think you're in love with Charlie?"

"It was just- at the party last night. He told me I did a good job and touched me and it was- I got all nervous and there were butterflies. With Portman I was just glad he didn't clock me, but with Charlie… he was just looking at me and my brain just exploded." He groaned loudly and fell back onto the bed. "I have the biggest crush on my straight best friend, I am the biggest cliche of all time!"

"That's what I said," Julie sing songed quietly.

"Adam it's fine," Connie said, rolling her eyes at her best friend's' antics.

"No it's not I'm pathetic."

"Oh man up, Adam," Julie said. "You're acting like you've never had a crush before. You're going to live. At least you know what you want unlike hot-and-cold Connie over there."

"Shut up," Connie said. Her and Guy had been very off and on since freshmen year. They had currently just broken up for about the 50th time right after the party. "You're going to be fine, Adam. You've had crushes on Ducks before, you'll live."

...

Adam is surprisingly good at painting nails.

It's a talent Adam realised he had during one of his sleep overs with Connie and Julie. The sleep overs are a pretty common occurrence since Connie's mom goes out of town often and hates to leave Connie alone in an empty house. So Adam and Julie watch lame movies, eat a bunch of junk food, and talk shit all night at least once every two weeks. It's a nice tradition and something Adam even looks forward to.

That's why Adam doesn't mind when Julie and Connie have him paint their nails. He would rather be the one applying the nail polish than having to sit still when Connie paints his toes all the colors of the rainbow.

Tonight, Adam is laying on his stomach on the living room couch, painting her nails Ducks green because she let him to pick. Julie is sitting on the floor near the TV, picking through Connie's DVDs to try and find one that they hadn't seen.

"We can watch Youngblood," Julie suggested.

"For the eight hundredth time?" Connie said, rolling her eyes. "That disk is so scratched up we probably can't even watch it all the way through."

"We can pop it in and find out," Adam said quietly. Connie only rolled her eyes and smacked him on the back of the head lightly. "C'mon, Connie, it's my favorite."

"That's probably why it's so scratched up," Connie fired back. It was Adam's turn to roll his eyes.

"Whatever," Julie said, shoving the DVD back into it's place before standing up and crossing the room. "I'm going to pee and when I come back you two better have picked out a movie."

"Ok," Adam said. "How about, Youngblood?"

"No."

"Connie," Adam whined. "It's my favorite."

"We've seen it a hundred times, Adam."

"Than what's the hundred and first time!"

"Shit, Connie, do you have any tampons?" Julie calls from the bathroom. Adam pulls a face at the question and, as though she was out there to see it, Julie calls back, "And don't make that face, Adam. You're a guy so you can't talk."

"I wasn't talking," Adam responded.

Connie just rolled her eyes and pushed at Adam's head teasingly. "They're in the cabinet under the sink," she yelled before tensing up. "Shit," she hissed, basically throwing herself off of the couch and nearly kicking Adam in the face in the proces.

"Connie, what the hell?" Adam said, dodging a foot as Connie ran into her room. Adam could hear her swearing and paper ripping and rustling from where he lay on the couch. Adam caped the nail polish tightly and set it on the bedside table before rising from the couch, tentatively making his way to Connie's bedroom.

Connie stood in the middle of her bedroom, calender a little ripped and laying on the floor by her feet. Her head was in her hands and Adam could hear her heavy breathing from the doorway. "Connie, are you ok?" Adam asked dumbly. He crossed the room in two easy strides and placed a hand on her shoulder. "Connie?"

She didn't respond, just turned slightly and buried her head into Adam's shoulder, wrapping her arms tightly around his middle. "I think I might be pregnant."

"Oh fuck," Julie's voice came from the doorway. "Connie, why do you think you're pregnant? When was the last time you and Guy even hooked up?'

"Fuee monfs avo," was Connie's muffled reply. Her best friend easily translated it to "two months ago."

"And how many periods have you had since?"

"Two. I've missed it for the last two months," Connie said, pulling away from Adam and wiping at her eyes. "I mean, my period is late most of the time, but I've never skipped one, let alone two! And I didn't even realise I skipped them!"

"There's a first time for everything," Julie replies quickly. "Plus we did start hockey conditioning and school started up again. Athletics and stress can totally fuck up your cycle. It's not like you've had morning sickness or anything."

"I was throwing up all last week. Nurse Rose said it was the stomach flu, but it's not like we can know for sure!"

"Almost all of the Ducks had the stomach flu over the past two weeks," Adam pointed out. "Julie and I included, there's about 12 kids you could have gotten it from or given it to."

"This can't be happening," Connie said, her head going back into her hands. "My mom had me at sixteen. I was supposed to go to college and have a career, not get kicked out of high school because I got pregnant. And what am I supposed to tell Guy? We can barely have a conversation about anything other than hockey, how are we supposed to raise a baby together?"

"Ok, Connie, you need to calm down," Julie said, always the voice of reason. "We don't know anything for sure, you should take a pregnancy test or go see a doctor before jumping to any conclusions."

"Julie is completely right," agreed Adam. "I have my card, I can go buy a test right now and you'll know by the end of the night, ok?"

"Yeah, you're right," Connie said, sinking down on her bed. "You're both right. This might be nothing."

Adam drives to a nearby CVS and, after a twenty minute phone call with Julie, he ends up buying three pregnancy tests. Connie takes all three and they all end up being negative. They celebrate by drinking Ms. Monraue's beers and Adam gets a text two days later from Connie announcing that she had gotten her period. Kenny Wu reads the text over his shoulder and gives him a weird look, but Adam could care less because everything is ok.

At least for now.

...

Adam has been home for less than 48 hours and he's already losing it.

It's two days into Christmas break and it's less than a week until Christmas itself. The Banks household is already bursting with Christmas decorations from the huge Christmas tree in the front room to the too big nativity set on the front lawn.

The majority Banks family is eating dinner in complete silence, just like always.

Mr. and Mrs. Banks are seated at opposite ends of the table. Adam sat on the left side of the table, in the seat next to his father. His little sister, Mary, sat in the seat next to him. Mary was barely ten and the most doted on out of the four Banks children. She was also the only sibling that hung onto every word their parents said and it is unclear if she would ever grow out of that habit. Helena sat in the seat directly across from Adam, perfectly placed so she and Adam could share looks every time their parents said something offensive, rude, or judgmental. Adam and Helena were the closest in age, being born just over a year apart, and the closest in general. Helena was Adam's best friend before he met the Ducks. The seat next to Helena was empty, permanently saved for the eldest Banks child, Matthew. He was 26 and living in Duluth, just far enough away that their parents could only guilt him into coming home for the big holidays.

"So, Adam," Mr. Banks says, setting down his knife and fork and wiping at his face with his napkin before placing it on the table. "Is there anything new you'd like to share with us?"

"I don't think so?," Adam said, but it came out sounding more like a question. He pushed what is left of his dinner around on his plate with his fork. He hears his mother sniffled slightly and looks at her, but her hand is over his face so he can't see if anything is actually wrong.

"Are you sure, son?" Adam's father asks, pulling a folded piece of paper out of the breast pocket of his shirt. "Because your credit card bill begs to differ."

Adam freezes. "Dad, it's not what it looks like. I bought it for-"

"Your girlfriend?" Mr. Banks interrupted. "I can't believe this, Adam. Engaging in premarital sex is one thing but unsafe premarital sex? We taught you to be a better Catholic than this, Adam!"

Adam is so undeniably screwed. "I don't have a girlfriend, Dad," he says and his mother sobs from her seat at the head of the table. "I bought the pregnancy test for my friend because she didn't have the money to buy it herself and was too scared to ask her mom. She's not even pregnant."

Mr. Banks only snorts loudly. "How dumb do you think I am?" Mr. Banks asked. "Just tell us the truth, Adam. We can find a good home for the baby or-"

"I am telling the truth! There is no possible way for that baby to even be mine," Adam said, fighting the urge to bang his head on the table. "For Christ sake, there isn't even a baby!"

"Don't you dare use the Lord's name in vain in my house, boy!" Mr. Banks stands up so quickly his chair falls over behind him and the food left on the table jumps when he slams his fist on the table. "It's bad enough that you've shamed this whole family by getting some girl pregnant-"

"There is no way I could have gotten any girl pregnant!" He interrupted. "And I never will because I'm gay, Dad."

Adam expects there to be a silence, just like there was with the Ducks, but there it none. Mrs. Banks is crying, walling as if she just lost a child and Mr. Banks is yelling at Adam to get his stuff and go. He's yelling louder and harder than Adam has ever heard him.

And, for the last time, Adam does what his father tells him. He throws some clothes and hockey gear in a suitcase, takes all the money he has hidden in his underwear draw over the years, grabs a framed picture of him and his sisters, and digs his old Ducks jerseys out of his closet. He takes everything he knows he'll miss because he's never going back there again.

Mr. Banks yells the entire time, telling Adam to leave and all the insults he knows. Adam hears them but doesn't listen. He doesn't listen to his mother's crying or Helena trying to talk sense into their father. He just walks out of the house and keeps walking.

He doesn't even think about where he should go until he gets to the pond. The same pond where he met Bombay and plays pick up games with Charlie and the rest of the ducks. The same pond where he came out to Julie. The same pond that Ducks have a pickup game on the second it's frozen enough to skate on.

Charlie.

He sinks down, his butt in the snow and his legs stretched out over the ice, gets his phone out of his pocket and makes a call.

"Holy shit, Banks, are you ok?" It's the first thing Charlie asks after Adam croaks out a really pathetic "hey, are you busy right now?"

Adam laughs hoarsely and, once he starts, he has trouble stopping. "Uh, I don't really know. Can you come down to the pond, right now? I get if it's a bad time, I can just-"

"Yeah, I'll be there give me ten minutes," Charlie interrupts him, but he doesn't hang up like Adam expects him to. "What happened, Adam?"

"I, um," Adam shook his head and took a shaky breath. "I came out to my parents. They- they didn't take it to well."

"Oh shit," Charlie said, but it was so quiet that Adam thinks he probably wasn't supposed to hear it. "Make it 15 then, I have to talk to my mom. Will you be ok?"

There's so much concern in Charlie's voice. It makes Adam want to say, "of course I will." But he doesn't. He doesn't want to lie to Charlie, not tonight, not ever. "I think so, it's just- will you stay on the line? You don't have to talk or anything, I just- I just don't want to be alone."

"Of course, Adam," Charlie said. "I'll see you in fifteen."

Charlie kept his promise and stayed on the line until he pulls up to the lake in his mom's beat up old car. He doesn't press Adam to talk, just drives and turns up the heater. Charlie takes him home, where Casey is sitting on the couch, waiting for them.

She hugs Adam the second he comes through the door, giving him one of those comforting mother hugs where she pets his back and rocks them slightly. Adam didn't actually realise how much he needed a hug until that second. She pulls away but keeps her hands on his shoulders, the same way Portman had done just a few months before. "I called Gordon. He's coming first thing in the morning and we're going to figure everything out, but you can stay here as long as you need, Adam."

"Thank you," Adam croaked.

"Your welcome, sweetie." Casey gave him one last squeeze before letting go. "John is setting up the air mattress in Charlie's room. I hope that's ok."

Adam nods, scared if he starts talking he's going to cry. He really doesn't want to cry, not over the parents who couldn't accept him. Casey hugs him one more time before Charlie drags Adam to his room.

It really hits Adam when he and Charlie finally get into bed that night. It's dark and quiet in the room, the perfect environment for thinking. And all Adam can think about is how his parents just disowned him.

Adam jumps when Charlie crawls into bed next to him, his hands cold as he pushes Adam over to make room for himself. "It's ok to cry, y'know," Charlie whispers.

"I know," Adam replied, his voice cracking. There's a slight crack in the curtains that lets in just enough light that Adam can see Charlie's face. It's probably just tricking his eyes though, because Adam swears he sees something other than brotherly love and concern in his best friend's eyes. "But I don't want to."

Charlie just nods once at that, looking down and pulling Adam into a hug. He doesn't let go and Adam falls asleep like that.

...

Casey and Charlie insist he stay for Christmas.

Well, there isn't exactly anywhere else he could go, but he does feel like he's imposing after basically just showing up like a kicked puppy just days before Christmas. Charlie's step dad, John, is oddly quiet and sulky about Adam being around, but Charlie is more than happy about it especially when John's family comes over and basically ignores them.

They're hanging out on the fire escape, not as bundled up as they should be and hoping the beers they stole from the party would be enough to keep them warm.

"So am I allowed to know how you accidently came out over dinner?" Charlie asked, kicking at Adam's foot where it hung over the side of the fire escape.

Adam takes a swig of beer. "I would tell you but the whole thing happened because of something I'm not supposed to tell anyone." Charlie groaned. "Oh shut it, Conway, you can't keep a secret for shit."

Charlie only rolled his eyes. "Ok, that's not entirely true. I can keep a secret if I need to."

"Sure," Adam smiled and Charlie opened his mouth to reply with a snarky comment before one of John's nephews popped his head out of the window.

"Uh, Adam, there's some guy here to see you," he said, his eyes darting back and forth between Adam and Charlie as if he didn't know which one was which.

"Thanks," Adam replied before he ducked back into the house. He moved to stand up, handing Charlie his beer. "That's probably Bombay. He's come to save me from this hell."

"Take me with you," Charlie said dramatically. Adam laughed as he ducked back in through the window. The apartment was crowded with John's family. He could see Casey running around and some of the older women sending him looks and whispering on one of the couches. But, when he made it to the door, it wasn't Bombay who was waiting for him, it was his brother.

The contact Adam had with Matthew was limited to visits on holidays and store bought cards on his birthday. Matthew was a full nine years older than Adam and had left home for college and never really came back. Adam could understand it though, Matthew got out from under their parents' thumb and got to be free. Adam had just gotten a similar break and it was liberating.

"Hey, little bro," Matthew said, smiling widely when Adam approached him. "Want to talk in the hall?"

"What are you doing here?" Adam asked as soon as the door shut behind them. "I mean, it's not that I'm not happy to see you it's just- why are you here? How did you know where to find me?"

"Helena called me right after you left and she told me everything that happened. She knew you'd be at this Conway kids house and gave me the address," Matthew explained.

"Why couldn't she just come?" Adam asked. He wished more than anything he could talk to Helena, but he knew he couldn't call the house. He knew she was probably starting any fight she could with their father and Adam wanted to tell her to knock it off, he wasn't worth whatever punishment Mr. Banks would give her for talking back.

"Dad put the house on lockdown," Matthew said. "I haven't been by yet, but Helena said it's pretty intense."

"Doesn't surprise me," Adam sighed, kicking at the frayed carpet in the hall. "So is this it? Now that you see that I'm ok, you're going to tell Helena and play dumb with Mom and Dad?" He wishes he could take it back right after he said it. He was still bitter about Matthew just leaving like he did, but he was here now, he really didn't deserve the sass.

"No, I'm not, Adam," Matthew replied, somewhat snappily. "I'm not just here to report back to Helena, I'm here to take care of you. You're my little brother and I want to make sure you're safe and cared for and don't end up on the street." He paused, running his hand down his face before continuing. "I get that I kind of abandoned you when I left, but I'm making up for it now. I'm going to use some of my trust fund money pay your school tuition and you can come stay with me on breaks of you want to. I'm going to take care of you, Adam."

"You don't have to do that, Matt-"

"Yeah, I do," Matthew interrupted. "You're my little brother and you someone to take care of you." He paused. "And I want to take care of you."

"You would really do that?" Adam asked.

"Of course I would," Matthew said before pulling Adam in for a hug. "I remember the days where you would hug me and you're head barely came up to my chin. Now you're taller than me."

"Ok, to mushy," Adam said, pushing his brother off of him. "I get that we're having a moment but you went too far."

"Sorry, sorry," Matthew smiled, ruffling Adam's blond hair. "I haven't hung out with any teeagers in a while. I forgot how angsty you all can be." Adam only rolled his eyes. "So, who is this Conway kid?" Matthew asked, his mouth changing from a smile into a smirk. "is he your boyfriend?"

"No," Adam said quickly, probably to quickly. "He's my best friend."

"Who you have a crush on," Matthew stated.

"I don't like him like that. He's been one of my best friend since we were , like, twelve."

Matthew smiled and pulled his brother into another hug. "You forgot I was the one who taught you how to lie." He pulled away, ruffling at Adam's hair.

"Shut up, Matt!"

Matthew laughs loudly and only stops because his phone rings in his pocket. He pulls it out and checks it. "It's Mom," he explains and Adam's mood darkens in an instant. "She's probably wondering where I am."

"Yeah," Adam said, eyes going downward again. "Guess you better go."

Matthew lets his phone ring and pulls a card out of his pocket with his other hand. He holds it out to Adam. "Here's my cell number. Call me first thing tomorrow ok and have that Coach Bombay guy call me too, he probably knows more about your school stuff than I do."

"I will," Adam promised, putting the card in the breast pocket of his shirt.

"Ok," Matthew said awkwardly. He hesitates for a moment before pulling Adam into one last hug, "I love you, little bro."

"I love you too."

When Adam opens the door to go back inside, he finds Charlie leaning against the wall next to it fiddling with one of the buttons on his dress shirt. He jumps up when Adam walks in, giving him a smile that seems a bit forced. "You good?" he asked.

"More than good," Adam smiled back.

...

Everything works out better than Adam had expected it too.

Bombay talks to Eden Hall and Matthew pays Adam's tuition for his last semester. Somehow, the Ducks become closer after they hear Adam was kicked out. Their relationship changed once they hit high school, there was no denying that, but they're banded together again in the last three months and they're just as close as they were right after the Goodwill games.

Adam is folding his laundry and fighting the constant itch to clean Charlie's side of their dorm. Charlie is lying on his bed, reading the assigned book for English out loud. It's called The Stranger and it's absolutely the worst book they had ever read.

Adam stops his folding when Charlie stops reading. He looks up and sees Charlie looking at him. His gaze is intense, but not an angry intense. "What are you looking at me like that f-" Adam doesn't finish his sentence because Charlie crosses the room in two strides and kisses him.

It takes Adam a second to realise what's happening: Charlie is kissing him. Kissing him, Adam Banks. It's what Adam has fantasized about and thought would never happen, but here he is, kissing Charlie Conway.

But than, it hits him again. Charlie Conway, the same Charlie Conway that made out with Linda and a handful of other girls in the past three years, is kissing him. The, as far as he knew, straight Charlie Conway was kissing him.

Adam pulls away and pushes at Charlie's chest to get some space. "Whoah, whoah, slow down," Adam said.

"What?" Charlie asked, breathing heavily. His eyes snap open. "Shit, did I read this whole thing wrong?"

"No, no, you didn't. It's just-" Adam said, breathing heavily. He's never had such a hard time catching his breath before. "You're- aren't you straight?" There's a pause when Charlie doesn't answer and Adam just keeps on talking because he just has to dig himself into a hole. "Charlie, you're my best friend, but if you're just using me to experiment because I'm your only gay friend then-"

Charlie shuts him up with a kiss and, unsurprisingly, it works really well. "I don't know what I am, but I know I'm not experimenting," Charlie said and Adam leveled him with a look. "Fine, maybe I am a little bit, but it's not just that, Adam. I just- I know I like girls and I know I like you. I don't know if that makes me bi or what, but I know kissing you is not just experimenting."

"You like me?" Adam asked dumbly because, let's be honest, that's really the only thing he got from that whole speech.

Charlie laughs breathily and shakes his head. "Yeah, I like you, Cake Eater. I like you a whole lot."

"Cool," Adam says breathlessly. "I like you too." Charlie kisses Adam again, but this kiss is different. It's soft and slow, the opposite of their rushed kisses from before.

Charlie is the one that pulls away this time. "Can I take you out sometime?"

"Fuck yes," Adam breathes before kissing Charlie again and again.

...

Charlie makes telling the Ducks that they're together much more complicated than it needed to be.

He wants to keep them a secret for awhile, which Adam understands. Charlie is still figuring himself out and them being openly together will just raise questions that Charlie won't know how to answer. But it's still great. They have their first date at the Eden Hall ice rink and spend a lot of their time making out in their dorm.

And everything is fine until Charlie gives Adam a hickey.

Adam was just sitting in the Eden Hall cafeteria, quietly enjoying his lunch with the team when Averman slams his tray down on the table and points at Adam's neck.

"Hickey!" Averman yelled, loud enough to catch the attention of the whole cafeteria. "Hickey! Hickey! Hickeeey!"

"Oh shut up, Averman," Adam hissed, kicking at Lester's shins under the table. Honestly, Adam was expecting this conversion from the moment he saw the hickey that morning. He'd seen the team dig whenever the other guys came around with hickeys and he figured it wouldn't be any different for him.

"Where's the hickey from, Banksy?" Luis asked, his eyebrows dancing on his forehead.

"Yeah, Banksy, who's the lucky girl?" Russ teases.

Adam stares at hom for a second. "I'm gay, Russ."

"Hi gay, I'm Fulton," Fulton joked smugly, accepting an aggressive high five from Portman.

"Sick joke, dude!"

Adam fought the urge to bang his head on the table. "Why am I friends with you people?" Charlie sat next to him at the table, laughing along with the team but still keeping his head down. Usually he was right there ribbing with Averman and Fulton,

"Who's the guy, Adam?" Guy asked, quietly and politely, like a true, boundary respecting, friend.

"Oh leave him alone, you guys," Connie said, shoving at Guy's shoulder.

"Yeah, guys," Julie agrees. This is why she and Connie are his best friends. "I'm sure Adam will tell us all we want to know when he and whoever he's seeing decide they want to tell people."

A lull of silence falls over the team before Goldberg breaks it. "Conway's gotta know something!" And now the team is prodding Charlie for information, which he is not giving up. "Oh, c'mon, dude. You're his best friend and his roommate, you've gotta know something!"

Charlie shrugged. "Maybe I do."

Adam froze in surprise. He thought they would at least talk about coming out to the team before Charlie just did it. But Adam supposed Charlie kissing him and telling him not to worry when Adam said he was going to go get some makeup from Connie to cover the hickey was Charlie's way of a of talking about it.

"What would you say if it was me?"

"Yeehaw!" Dwayne yelled, jumping up from his chair. "You, Kenny Wu, owe me twenty bucks!"

"Goddamn, Conway," Ken swore. "You couldn't keep it in your pants until graduation? C'mon, man!"

"You knew?" Charlie asked seeming relieved yet horrified.

"Wait, you're gay for Banks?" Goldberg asked. "But, but, Linda!"

Averman actually snorted. "You really think we haven't noticed you making little heart eyes at Banks since the peewees. Not all of us are that dumb, Captain."

"Peewees?" Adam asked, grinning widely. "You've had a crush on me since peewees?"

"Shut up," Charlie said, blushing slightly.

"But Linda?" Goldberg asked, still a mile behind the rest of the team.

"I like both, Goldberg. Guys and girls," Charlie explained slowly. Goldberg nodded, either taking that response as a suitable answer or just sitting in his own confusion.

"So, how long has this been going on?" Guy asked even though Adam was fairly certain Connie had spilled the secret to him weeks ago. He and Connie had gotten back together soon after the pregnancy scare and, even though they were still working things out, they were doing really well.

Adam and Charlie exchanged a look. "About a month," Adam said.

"Ha," Kenny exclaimed. "In your face, Dwayne, I owe Julie twenty bucks, not you!"

"The winner is determined for when the relationship is revealed, Kenny, not when it started!"

"That's bullshit!"

Charlie caught Adam's eye and nodded subtly towards the door. They both stood up, basically undetected by the team as they fought about the winner of the bet and walked out of the cafeteria. Charlie took Adam's hand when they were almost out of the cafeteria.

"So," Adam started, pulling Charlie to a stop as soon as they were in an abandoned hallway. "Was that whole thing planned?"

Charlie shrugged lazily, coming into Adam's space and placing a hand on his hip. "Not entirely. I figured coming out would be worth seeing you walking around with a hickey on your neck all day."

"'Course," Adam whispered before Adam kissed him.

...

Adam is barely 19 when he gets drafted to the NHL.

He's a first round pick, ninth pick overall. Adam nearly faints when he hears. In the mock draft, he was picked late third round by St. Louis. Now, he was the first round pick for the Chicago Blackhawks. He has no idea what happened, but he really wasn't complaining.

And the team ends up being great. Adam gets along with everyone, he likes Chicago, he gets to live with Portman, and it's close enough to home that he can go home or Charlie can come up whenever they have a few days off. Adam loves it, literally the only thing that could make it better is if Charlie was there with him.

He comes out to the team by bragging about Charlie for a full half hour while he drunk off his ass. The team makes fun of him for it for about a week until another guy does it about a girl he hadn't even gone out with yet.

He comes out to the world in a simple interview. They ask him about how he's getting along with the team and how he's adjusting to life in Chicago. That's when he drops it. He mentions on how the city is great but he misses his friends and boyfriend. It's as simple as that because the NHL has had openly gay players since the late 1970s, apparently.

Charlie moves to Chicago after he graduates from University of Minnesota. He moves right in with Adam and Portman and gets a job as a PE teacher at a nearby high school. They talk all the time about moving back to Minneapolis, getting a house in District 5, and adopting some kids, but it's all just talk until the summer of 2007.

Jan dies in his sleep in the winter of 2006. Gordon inherits the shop and asks Charlie to help him run it, so they move back home. They buy a house on the nicer side of District 5, Adam's manager works out a trade to the Minnesota Wild, and Charlie is happy managing the shop and coaching the Ducks.

...

The apartment is quiet and dark when Adam walks through the door. He's not surprised. His plane had gotten in late and the teammates he was bullied into sharing a cab with decided he would be the last to get dropped off at home. The kids should be in bed by now, but Adam can't lie and say he's not disappointed to not find Charlie waiting up for him.

Well, he was until he felt a little ball of curls run straight into his legs. He laughed as he stumbled back, scooping his son up into his arms in a clumsy motion. "Ada, you're home!" Jackson squealed, wrapping his arms tightly around his father's neck.

"I am," Adam said, his tone changing to scolding. "And shouldn't you be in bed."

Jackson gave Adam big, brown puppy eyes before looking sheepishly at the ground. Jackson may be adopted but he's definitely Charlie's son. "Daddy said I could stay up until you got home," Jackson whispered as Adam started walking to the nursery.

Adam hummed and nodded. "And did he say your sister could stay up until I got home too?"

"Yeah," Jackson said. "But she couldn't stay awake because she's just a baby."

"Oh, of course. How silly of Daddy to think she could," Adam whispered as he stepped into the kid's bedroom.

"I know!" Jackson exclaimed before looking sheepishly at his sister asleep in the crib across the room. Adam dropped Jackson lightly on the bed and waited for him to crawl under his Minnesota Wild bed spread before tucking him in and kissing him on the forehead. "Wait, my story!" he said after Adam pulled away.

Adam hummed again, pushing Jackson back onto the mattress. "I'm sure Daddy read you multiple stories before he told you that you can stay up and wait for me to get home." Jackson didn't reply, but instead burrowed himself deeper into his covers. Adam kissed his son's forehead again. "Goodnight, Jackson. I love you." Adam backed slowly out of the room, peeking in on his daughter for a second before turning around and finding Charlie in the doorway.

Charlie dragged him down the hall and kissed him senseless as soon as they were far away enough from the kid's room to not be heard. "You didn't wait up," Adam said with a mock pout after he pulled away.

Charlie gave a lazy one shoulder shrug. "I fell asleep doing laundry."

Adam chuckled and kissed him. "Good. Saves me a lot of refolding."

Adam laughed as Charlie shoved him. "You are lucky I am too tired to beat you up right now because you would be in for it."

"I'm sure."

Their room was a mess, as it always is when Adam gets home from an away game. Charlie's dirty clothes were in a pile around the hamper and clean clothes were wrongly folded on the bed. Charlie pushed the clothes into the laundry basket and Adam was almost too tired to care. "Just get in bed, Banksy," Charlie said, grabbing Adam's hand and pulling him into bed.

"Is the mess payback for the folding dig?" Adam asked as Charlie turned off the light and pulled Adam close to him.

"No," Charlie said, his hand sliding up Adam's chest to rest on his neck before kissing him softly. "I just missed you and want to be next to you."

"Well that's just sappy," Adam said, settling down into bed and into Charlie's arms. "I love you," Adam said before kissing the love of his life.

Charlie smiled into Adam's shoulder, "I love you too."

...

A/N: Title taken from the song "Different" by James TW.