"This is not what I signed on for."

An exasperated sigh came with Gaby's words. In front of her, a blank sheet of paper, waiting to be filled with UNCLE's latest mission report. Instead of taking a pen, she grabbed her glass and drank it down in one.

Illya, sat in the armchair in front of her, was focused on his own nearly completed report. Sometimes, between two sentences, he paused, and pinched the bridge of his nose. His neat handwriting had already covered two full pages. He took another one from the pile.

"Are you having fun?" she asked, waiting for a reaction. Trying to provoke him was everything she had done for the last past hour, and every time he ignored her, she did it again and again.

She giggled. Of course, disciplined and hard-working Illya would do his homework in time and eventually, would fill ten pages when only one was necessary. He would remember the tiniest details of each of their mission. And while she'd give a poorly written, sometimes stained or even crumpled report to Waverly, Illya's would be perfect. But today, even her usual rubbish piece of writing seemed out of reach.

She stood up, adjusting her favourite pair of blue pyjamas in the process. It was, after all, their week off (it would officially start once these reports are completed and given to Waverly), so no need for fancy clothes. Comfortable ones was all she cared about.

She walked around the table, and stopped behind Illya's armchair. He didn't look up, still focused on his work. Well, well...

Gaby wrapped her arms around Illya's large shoulders, and buried her face in his neck, breathing in his scent.

"I will not write your report," Illya said in a firm voice, but still, his thumb caressed the back of her left hand. The iceberg was starting to melt, and that was only the beginning. Her fingers loosely played with the collar of his black shirt, then with its buttons, before an intruding and rather cold hand slipped under the fabric. Immediately, she felt him tense under her touch.

"What are you doing ?" he quickly asked, his eyes scanning the room in order to be sure no one was there to see them. His hand had gripped hers, making her stop her little game.

"I'm bored," she whispered in his ear, and easily broke free from his grip. He was always so careful with her, not wanting to hurt her, that it was all but hard. "And I might be trying to corrupt you."

"Russian agent is incorruptible," he said, a half smile on his lips. He used to be incorruptible, but Gaby was so unpredictable that he couldn't tell if he still was at that moment. Oh, those hands...

"Let's see that," she said, and he could feel her grin against his neck. She kissed him right under the jaw, and let both her hands wander on his torso. Her fingers and palms were absolutely everywhere, stroking every inch of skin, rubbing his tensed muscles, and playfully pinching his right nipple. It made him jump while she laughed softly.

"You are ready to go to great length for tiny report, are you not ?" he said in a less controlled voice than he wanted. She was making it so difficult every time.

"Bigger length than what you'd imagine, Mister KGB," she smiled while leaning forward and brushing past his navel, only to reach his waistband, letting one finger outlining it, and in the process, making Illya gasp. He didn't have much breath left, but that was enough to whisper what would be the last intelligible words spoken for the next couple of hours.

"You naughty, naughty girl."

...

"You were quite inspired, Kuryakin, weren't you?"

"Excuse me ?"

"Well, a full fiv- ahem, four pages report when Solo keeps finding excuses to explain why he hasn't even picked up a pen yet. Nothing new here I'm afraid."

"Hm."

"Still, you seem to have a very positive influence on Miss Teller. I was impressed to find a very different kind of paperwork this time. And even better, she finished it quite early. I guess she asked you for some advices on how she should process in order to get things done properly, didn't she?"

"Why would she ?"

"Since you're an experienced agent in many areas, I guess you might have given her a few tips on, you know, the Russian way. The truth is, there are similar elements between your report and Miss Teller's, except hers is shorter, and contains what I'd call Gaby-like sentences. Of course, you were both on the same mission, so nothing wrong here. Sorry, are you alright ? You seem... exhausted."

"I'm fine, sir."

"If you say so. Now, where was I ? Ah yes, Gaby ! A very impressive young person, with multiple talents, I think you'll agree with me on that point. She turned out to be a very good agent. Peerless driver and mechanic, which is highly valuable on the field. Gifted hands, designed to accomplish true miracles, but still, not much useful when a report must be filled, isn't that so ?"

Thank you very much for reading this one-shot, I hope you enjoyed it ! It happens to be my 100th contribution to this website, I can't believe it ;)