Summary: "The bitterest tears shed are for words left unsaid and deeds left undone." A heartwreking confession from her former light. Fem!Kuroko

Memories were typed as "Memories".

The continuous beeping of the heart monitor and the muted dropping of the dextrose were the only noise that kept the little white room alive.

In that small, yet well-ventilated private room laid a girl. She has long tresses of powdered blue hair that cascaded down her waist and pale, translucent-looking skin that looked almost unhealthy if not for the blush of color that spreads on her cheeks and lips. Her eyelids were darker though, and the rings under her eyes looked like she suffered sleepless nights. She looked skinny; her skin tight that it clung to her bones and she looked extremely fragile like she might break easily if anyone would touch her.

Several tubes and needles were pricked into the membrane of her skin—one over her chest and stomach and two in each of her arm, wrists and thigh. The needles though they help monitor her vitals, left patches of purplish blue discoloration on her porcelain skin.

Around her head were medical bandages wrapped several times to secure the injury she had received on the portion of her head. There wasn't anything the doctors can do for her brain beside stitching up a few cuts and sensitizing and cleaning the wounds for infection control. Worst case scenario, the patient has brain contusion, explaining her present comatose state. A metal brace was placed on her neck to stabilize and protect her spine from further collateral damage. The truck had towed her body off a certain distance and her spine suffered the next worse injury after her head. It would be lethal if it will affect not only her respiration but also her mobility. If that happens, she'll need a ventilator and wheelchair to support her for life. Aside from the major injuries she'd gained from the accident, her right arm and left leg suffered bad scrapes and abrasions which will require skin grafts to return them back to normal after a few years from now.

Finally, an oxygen mask covered her nose and lips with the tubing connected directly to a ventilator which is helping her to breathe. Beside it was the heart monitor. Both gave a soothing rhythmic sound as if they were orchestrating a song to tune out the echoing silence in the room.

Just then the only door of the room swung open and a dark blue haired man entered the room, carrying a bouquet of cyclamen and roses in his arms. The man was tall, has sun-kissed skin and has a built befitting of that of an athlete. He was wearing Touou Gakuen's summer uniform, a school in the prefecture.

His eyes fell on the bluenette lying on the bed. He watched for even the smallest rise and fall of her chest, and would sigh in relief every time.

He can't help but notice how feasibly weaker she was getting day by day. The vitality and radiance in the color of her skin he loved was getting more translucent as compared to yesterday's. And is it only him or does those rings under her eyes got even worse?

"Good morning Tetsu…" he greeted the one person whom he knew won't answer him back anymore.

Beep beep…beep beep… beep beep…

'Isn't this so pathetic?' he thought in bitterly. The tip of his lips stretched to a pained and exhausted smile.

Now the only thing that was answering to his calls was the repeated beeping of the heart monitor and not this person's voice that he misses hearing so much.

Was this his punishment for hurting this person?

To never hear her scolding him for missing practice or for treating basketball so lightly and nothing but a useless thing to do now,

"If it's about practice, forget it, Tetsu. If I practice, I'll just get even stronger and no one can defeat me anymore."

"I'm giving up, Tetsu. That rival I'm waiting for will never appear. The only one that can defeat me is me."

"Understand? What could you possibly understand? Tell me, what can a person like you, who can't do anything by herself, understand?"

"Passes? To who? I haven't received a single pass from you since then… Besides, I don't need them because I can win it all by myself..."

…to never hear her call his name with the same polite tone that never changes despite being bestfriends since middle school,

"What are you still calling me so formally [1] for, Tetsu? 'Daiki' is fine you know." He urged.

The bluenette muttered something so soft it was barely audible. He frowned, not catching what she said.

"Huh? What was that again, Tetsu?" He asked, but she was looking ahead the road and for a second, he thought he saw her smile.

"Nothing, Aomine-kun."

… and to never hear that wholesome honesty and sincerity in her opinions without needing to feel embarrassed about saying them…

"My dream?"

"Yup. What's your dream, Tetsu?"

"Probably to live a peaceful life drinking my vanilla milkshake everyday…"

"GAH! You can't be serious about that right?"

"How rude! I just told you my dream, Aomine-kun."

"Er…Sorry."

"Huh? Why are you laughing, Tetsu?"

"I was just kidding but you took it so seriously."

"EHH?"

"I'm sorry. Here, I'll tell you what my dream is. My dream is to make you the brightest light in the court. One who will shine no matter what happens…and not only that, I want to be able to play and be friends with everyone forever…. if that's possible…"

'How ironically fitting…'

He clenched his hand, balling it into a fist. The nerves underneath his skin were unexpectedly tingling and his blood was curling.

The memories he had of her was so vivid and clear, it felt like it just happened yesterday and that everything was spoken and done just a minute ago.

He could still hear her voice whispering softly in his ears. That small voice that was so warm and kind….

He felt like crying, if these tears that had accumulated in the brim of his eyes wouldn't be considered crying yet. He wanted to let out this unbearably heavy pain contained inside his chest. It hurts—this feeling of drowning in the bottomless pit of the sea and suffocating at the same time…It hurts so much. He didn't think that missing someone who gave you so much to remember could hurt this much.

But compared to her pain, what he was feeling right now wasn't even enough to compensate for everything he had done and said to her.

He don't deserve to be given and to receive so many happy memories of her, much more, be her friend, bestfriend, partner, and light… He lost all of those the moment he chooses to shut himself, never noticing that he was letting their relationship suffer.

'…for someone like me…' Someone like a low-life he is….

His hands were trembling so much that it was hard to know if this was because of anger or guilt, or probably grief for the thing he had lost or had let to be lost.

'who doesn't even deserve her…'.

He stood there for God knows how long. Seconds? Minutes? Hours? He didn't know. If he can probably do something impossible like standing here for months, even years, he will do it just to wait for her to wake up.

'Why are you so determined to bring her back anyway?' A treacherous voice from the back of his mind accused. He didn't liked how the voice threw the question to him. Perhaps because he's guilty of it. And that he didn't want to admit even to himself.

'Didn't you cast her away yourself?' 'Shut up.' He snapped back. 'Stop it.' It wasn't like he wanted to leave her alone just like that. He didn't mean to do that. He wasn't thinking right that time. He—

'It was your choice… so why are you regretting it?'Choice? He gritted his teeth. Did he really choose to leave her? 'Shut up!' He yelled angrily. 'It's not…it's not like that at all.' He didn't leave her because of one selfish damn choice. He can't do that to her. He would never think of doing that kind of thing…

"And please…don't ignore me this time…"

He froze.

A sudden memory surged inside his mind that left him unable to think of otherwise. That was the exact thing she told him after their match during the Winter Cup. Was that it? Was that his cue to finally notice her feelings behind the choice he had made? He remembered how those words left him stunned to the point where he can't even felt his voice materializing.

He never really understood what she meant by that but after thinking about it more, he finally realize why she said that. It made him feel angry to his self for taking all this time to realize that and with some help too. Why haven't he thought of it before? It was so easy. The answer has always been in front of him and yet he didn't see it. He didn't let himself see it.

He lifted his hand to his eye level and curled it to a fist. How come he forgot about this? This gesture they do after every match they play together. It was such a small thing but for her, it meant so much more. And there he stopped doing this.

He snapped back to his senses when the nurse came in to change her dextrose line. And when the nurse left did he only move. He didn't even returned the greeting from the nurse when she passed by him. No. It was more like he didn't hear her. What of him right now… was just an empty hollow thing.

But things weren't like before anymore. He doesn't want to go back to his past self wherein he lost sight of everything and had given up trying completely. He wanted to believe in her words. That someday… basketball would be just like before again. That someday and somewhere… he can finally see someone who can defeat him. And that's her and Kagami. And Seiren.

"You came to ask me why I'm so determined to bring her back?" he said to no one but himself. It was silly how he was talking to himself right now. Surely he hasn't lost it yet right? Nonetheless, it felt like he needed to do this. "Well it's because this person… she doesn't deserve this. She shouldn't be here in this stinking hospital fighting life and death every single day." All he wished was for her to open her eyes. Could someone grant that for him? "Because she deserved better. She deserved a better life where she doesn't have to experience loneliness again and again." He said, barely faint as the wind.

He walked towards the small wooden table at her bedside, deciding to replace the withered roses and cyclamens he had brought the other day with new ones. Dark pink roses and cyclamens have always been Tetsuki's favorite flowers. He didn't know why she liked them so much since she never said anything about it. But not knowing her reasons didn't matter much to him. Just remembering that glow in her clear crystal blue eyes and that small smile in her face that never fails to move his heart whenever she sees these was enough. She was happy and that was all that matters.

He took out the flowers and placed the new ones. This was the only thing he could do for her now. He bet she won't even realize that he'd been bringing her her favorite flowers everyday or if she did somehow, she won't believe that these all came from him because he never really showed any interest in anything beside basketball and food. It's alright though… even if she won't know and believe. He bought these flowers everyday hoping that the day she finally opens her eyes, these will be the first thing she'll see and a smile in her face that can somehow perturb anyone's heart would be the first expression she'll have.

He took the plastic stool beside her bed and sat. He looked at her arms and visibly flinched at how those purplish blue bruises were getting worse. If only she didn't need these things… he had long removed it from her.

He gently took her hand. 'So cold…' he thought as his hand retracted a little from the cold touch. Her hand was impossibly too cold it was like holding a hand of someone who's not with the living anymore. But of course she's not yet dead and she will not die because he will never let that happen. He clasped her hand in between his large hands and gently rubbed them, transferring the little heat he could give to this small hand. He remembered being in the same situation like this before but back then, it was her who was making his hands warm with her small hands.

"Umm, Tetsu…what are you doing?" a flustered Aomine asked as the teal-haired girl suddenly took his hands, completely catching him off guard.

"You forgot to bring your gloves didn't you?" she asked.

"Er… yes. I woke up late today that I forgot to grab one…" he confessed guiltily. "But it's alright. I can manage…"

She gave her a look that clearly says that she didn't believe him. She then removed one of her gloves and made him wear it. After that, she grabbed his other hand and rubbed it with hers. "Even though you're practically invincible in the court, you aren't immune to getting sick, Aomine-kun, so please take care of your body more…"

Her actions made him feel an unwanted color building in to his cheeks that he almost automatically turned his head hoping she won't catch him blushing. 'Man, this is so embarrassing…' he thought.

"Hey Tetsu… I don't know if you could hear me now or if you will listen to me after all those things I've done to you… but please hear me out for the last time." His hold on her hand tightened and he kissed her knuckles, "For all the things I've said and done to you, for all the moments I've chose to close myself and leave you, for disregarding you all these time when you only wanted me to go back to the person I was before and for saying selfish and hurtful things about the sport we both fell in love with, I want to apologize. I know it's too late for this and you might not want to hear this coming from me, but I, as selfish as this might sound, want to be your friend [2] again. I want to play basketball with you again…., to receive those passes and remember how much this ball you've passed had given me the bridge to connect to you."

Memories of them playing together, as light and shadow, came as flashbacks in his head; it was like running an ending credit of a movie. How could he forget this feeling whenever they play together? That feeling of not having to worry about leaving his back open because he knows she'll be there watching his back for him, "…but I understand if you don't like to play with me anymore since you already have your new light…" he flinched, thinking of a certain red-haired tiger who's Seiren's number 10 and his Tetsuki's partner and new light. Oh how he feels so jealous of that Kagami. If only he didn't act like a complete jackass he was and didn't hurt her, she would probably still be by his side right now.

"It's been a while, Tetsu…" he greeted the bluenette as both teams get ready to play the last minute of the second quarter of the game. "You've been doing pretty well, eh?" He looked at her and saw that her crystal blue eyes were staring back as well. There was a firm resolve in her eyes and it took all of his willpower to look away from those eyes that seemed to dig through his soul. But he'll admit that what he saw amused him. What made her this determined anyway? "What's this? You looked very determined."

"Yes." She muttered softly, 'Even her voice sounds so determined….' He mused.

"I promised Momoi-san that I'll defeat you." She told him.

He laughed, before smirking darkly, "Oh? Let see how you do that then…"

He walked towards Seiren's bench, particularly, to where the bluenette was sitting. He didn't missed how she suddenly stiffened as he approached her. Was she afraid of him now? "Come and get over here Tetsu!" he called, "Let's duel..." he smirked, as he saw her getting up from the bench just the way he wanted to happen, "Let me see the true power of the new light and shadow."

"The winners and losers were determined faster than I thought." He told her as she blocked his path towards the ring, "Your great passes are now useless, your stamina is long gone, and Kagami is benched. Everybody's hopes are all dashed." He looked at her, "Now, even you are simply another tired member of the team."

"I won this one, Tetsu…" he said with finality.

"It's not over…." She muttered, surprising him. She really didn't know how to give up, doesn't she?

She lifted her head and his eyes were once again caught captivated by hers, "You can't win basketball just by one amazing counterattack. Your chances now are not even better than one in a million and when the possibility of winning is 0, that's because the players gave up. Even if other people think it's meaningless, it's disgusting for me to quit…..Therefore, I will never give up…"

If only he realize that his actions would result to this sooner, he wouldn't have made this mistake which he is regretting right now.

"Your basketball can't beat me…" he told her coldly, leaving her behind.

"Give it your best, Tetsu…" his eyes looked at her small frame, "A shadow only exists where the light shines. No matter how hard you try, it's not gonna change."

"You can't beat me." He whispered, as the buzzer rang, signaling the end of the match.

"The same trick won't work twice on me, you know…" His hand intercepted the ball she was meaning to pass to Kagami; his towering figure blocked the path of the ball with stealth and agility he only owned.

"Don't despair too much now, Tetsu…" he held the ball, "If this is really what you thought up in order to beat me, then let me just tell it to you straight…Your effort was futile…"

But all of that was only wishful thinking now. The ifs and the I should haves wouldn't change anything, and as painful as it sounds, the bond they all shared with her back then and the bond they have right now wouldn't ever be the same again.

All because they were the ones who let go of her first…

"Idiot… look at yourself, not even able to stand without help… Can't even tell who's the winner here…" he muttered. She looked really frail… too weak, but despite that… she had beaten him. And nothing could change that. "But maybe this is for the best…" He looked at her and her new light. They looked so much like they used to before. And this was the thing he gave up, 'This is… the reason I lost…'

Kagami snorted, "Why're you making a face as if everything had ended? It has only just started. Let's play again. I'll be waiting for you…"

He hardly laughed at the red-haired's challenge, "…boasting around…"

"Aomine-kun…" he heard a soft voice calling him amidst the noise that erupted in the whole stadium. He can never forget this voice, and even if he was in a sea of people, he probably will be able to recognize this voice of hers clearly.

He suddenly remembered what he said to her. 'With your basketball, you can't beat me…'

'With your basketball, Tetsu…. You defeated me…' he corrected.

"It's your win, Tetsu…" he told her.

"Can I tell you something?" he looked at her, surprised. What does she want from him now? He watched her lifted her hand, curling it to a fist, before she finally spoke, "Back then we didn't bump fists."

He backed off a little. "Hah? Does that ever matter?"

"It does!" she insisted, and then finally smiled. This was the first time in two years did he saw her smile again and seeing it right now was so nostalgic. "And please…. don't ignore me this time…" she whispered, leaving him stunned by what she said.

It was a matter of seconds before he finally found his voice. He tried to sound defiant but failed miserably when he heard her laughed a little. He resigned, "Fine. But only this time…"

"Next time, I'll win." He promised her.

"Yes." She smiled, bumping her fist with his, "I'll definitely wait for you, Aomine-kun…"

"I'm glad you've found the right team who will make you the happiest again." Because as part of the Generation of Miracles, the team she had belong to before, he wasn't able to make her happy as she was now. "And I love you Tetsuki" he whispered too softly to be audible. If time was in his hands, he would take back and undo everything he had done and said that have hurt her greatly. He would want time to go back to the way it was before everyone's talents bloom and started to disregard team play for individualism. To those time where he wouldn't have to worry about anything because he had his parents, basketball, his childhood friend, Satsuki, his team mates and of course, her.

"Why aren't you eating anything, Aomine-kun?"

Said boy scratched the back of his head and grumbled, "It's not like I don't like to eat. Satsuki did something to my lunch again and I don't want to die yet."

Tetsuki understand a bit of his predicament. Cooking wasn't exactly the right match for a certain pink-haired manager. And she can't exactly blame him for refusing to eat Momoi Satsuki's cooking even though it sounds heartless of him. "Here" She handed him a bento wrapped in blue cloth and gave him an extra chopsticks she had with her. "I brought too much of lunch today so I'm giving these to you."

It was almost comical how the certain ace almost cried as he received a grateful portion of lunch from her. Tetsuki smiled amusedly as her partner practically devoured everything like a hungry wolf.

"Huh? What are these, Tetsu?"

"They are chocolates, Aomine-kun." She said with a deadpan look in her face, "It's Valentine's Day today."

Aomine flushed a little, scratching his cheek as if he was deeply embarrassed in a good way. If Tetsu was giving him chocolates this Valentine then does that mean she likes him too? "Is this honmei [3] or giri [4]?" He joked, really sure that she will say honmei, but too bad, all his assumptions were dead wrong, "Giri of course…" she quickly replied as if she was sure of her answer.

"…"

"Hmm? Is there a problem in giving giri chocolates?" She asked. Was it just him or does she looked down right now?

"Er..no… it's just that—" I thought you will confess to me, he screamed inside his head.

"Don't worry, I've given Kise-kun, Midorima-kun, Murasakibara-kun, Akashi-kun and Momoi-san chocolates as well. And one for Nijimura-senpai, Sanada-sensei and Shirogane-sensei too."

Aomine felt like he just aged another 10 years. Did she just think that he felt bad about being the only one receiving chocolates from her today so she had to name all those people she had given the same chocolate as him? Just what the hell was he fantasizing to happen? He's such an idiot.

He stared at the chocolates she had given them. It was wrapped delicately by dark blue paper with matching ribbon. Just like the color of his hair and eyes… She must have worked hard to give this to him (and them) and here he was, not even the least grateful! He should appreciate receiving these instead of sulking about his wrong assumption. "Thanks, Tetsu…"

The teal-haired girl finally lit up and smiled, "You're welcome…"

"What's this you've brought with you Kise?" he snatched the little grey electronic gadget from a certain blonde's hands and examined it for himself.

The blonde part-time model pouted a little, whining, "Mou, don't ruin the moment for me and Kurokocchi, Aominecchi"

"Ha? Ruin what exactly, Kise?" he pretended not to know as to tease the blonde. He knew that the small forward/model harbors feelings for the little phantom player, and that he seizes every chance there is to snatch her attention away from everyone, especially Aomine's, which really irritates him to no end. He just wanted to strangle the blonde whenever he does that. He gets his revenge though. He always makes sure to beat Kise whenever they are playing one-on-one.

Kise blushed, not knowing what to retort to the ganguro.

"Please don't bully him too much, Aomine-kun." Chided the person who happens to be the subject of their affection. The two blockheads turned to the teal-haired girl who for once ponied her hair that it framed her face perfectly. 'So cute…' they both thought in the same time. "Kise-kun just wanted to take a photo together using his new phone."

"Is that so?" Aomine turned to look at Kise suspiciously. How can this whiny bastard take advantage of his partner's obliviousness and take a picture of them together behind his back? "If it's a picture, do you mind if I join? It's a commemoration for Kise's new phone after all." Ha! Like I'll let you take a shot with Tetsu, you bastard! Aomine sneered.

Murasakibara, who just happened to hear the threesome's conversation as he passed by, approached them. "Not fair, Kise-chin, Mine-chin. I want to have a photo with Kuro-chin too…" whine the snack-loving giant. He then turned to look at the teal-haired girl and graciously gave her a small box of vanilla-coated sweets which she takes in gratefully, "Thank you, Murasakibara-kun."

"Oh, you're taking pictures, Ki-chan? Can I join as well?" Momoi Satsuki asked. She had noticed the foursome when she entered the gym and she wanted to know what the commotion was all about. She overheard their conversation and decided to take part of it as well.

"Ne Midorin, Akashi-kun, Ki-chan bought a new cellphone and he wanted to take a photo. Wouldn't it be nice if the first photo was a picture of all of us?" the first-stringed manager suggested. Oh how helpfully smart Satsuki is! Aomine can't wipe off the grin in his face as he saw the crestfallen look in Kise's face. He would have to personally thank his childhood friend for this later.

"I hope you're not slacking off of practice because of this, Ryota…" Akashi said, and then turned to Momoi, "That was a nice suggestion, Satsuki. We rarely have a picture taken together as a team."

"I'm glad you think so too, Akashi-kun…"

"Just one picture. I still need to go back to shooting practice." The green-haired, horoscope-obsessed shooting guard said. 'What a tsundere" Aomine thought, rolling his eyes for that lame excuse.

"Is that your lucky item for today, Midorima-kun?" the teal-haired phantom player asked. She was staring intently at the blue rabbit plush keychain on his hand. "Yes. It is.", He recognized the look Tetsuki had. It says, 'How cute. I wish I could have that'. He sighed. Oh he was such a sucker against that look in her face. He must be spoiling her a lot, "I'll give this to you later since you wanted it." Her eyes lit up, "Really?" He smiled, seeing the flash of enthusiasm in her eyes, "Yes" "Thank you, Midorima-kun…" she smiled.

"Let's take the photo now." Momoi announced. "Ne, could you take a picture of all of us?" she asked the bystander which graciously complied.

"Okay…One…Two….Three…"

SNAP!

He still has that picture of all of them in his room. Kise was gracious enough to give them copies of the photo so everyone had their own copy.

If he could take back time,

…if he could just return all those moments….

….it would be those moments where he could see her smiling face.

"Umm… you are?"

"Oh. Did I disturb you? Sorry for that. I'm Aomine Daiki." He offered a handshake but she didn't take it which was pretty much understandable since he was a stranger to her. She must be a little cautious about him.

"Do you mind… if I ask you what were you doing here?" she hesitated.

"Oh, that. I heard a sound of a ball dribbling so … I followed it. Do you play basketball?"

"Sometimes. I'm not very much good to it though…" she confessed.

"Really? But that pass just now, I haven't seen anyone else doing it. And it was awesome. I wonder if I could catch it."

"I could give you one ball…if you like…"

"You will? Sweet."

With all her strength, she gave him a pass so strong and so fast. She didn't even know she could pass like that. He caught the ball but it bounced off of his hand. "Wow. I really can't catch it. Amazing. How did you do that—"

"Kuroko. Kuroko Tetsuki. And I'm sorry. Did I use too much strength this time?"

"So it's Kuroko. Nah, you don't have to apologize for anything. By the way, do you mind if I call you Tetsu?" he stopped babbling when he realized one thing; he was being way too impulsive again. "Oh…that's kind of not appropriate huh…." They just met and here he was getting ahead of himself again and acting so close to her.

"It's alright. Nice to meet you, Aomine-kun." This time she took the initiative to initiate a handshake in which he shook casually, "Nice to meet you too, Tetsuki."

"Oh. And I think if you love basketball, you can't be that bad right? That's my pet theory."

Tetsuki smiled, and for the first time, Aomine felt his heart beat stop, "That's an interesting theory. Thank you, Aomine-kun" she thanked sincerely.

A lone tear slid down his face. He didn't wipe it off because there wasn't a point in doing so. He wanted to cry and that he let himself be.

Hey, Tetsu… if you could hear me….please wake up.

Footnotes:

[1] Formality – what Aomine meant was for Tetsuki to stop addressing him as 'Aomine-kun' and call him 'Daiki'—his given name, as they are close friends (or even bestfriends) now (e.g. Japanese folks uses the person's given name to imply close relationship). He implies endearment here but Tetsuki, being Tetsuki (I guess) doesn't just seem to catch and understand what he meant by that. Poor Mine-chin!

[2] Friends – Well technically, Aomine and Kuroko are still friends but their friendship isn't the same as that of before. And this, folks, is what he wants to ask of her. It's unfair I know. He hurt her so badly and this is how he asks for her forgiveness? Pretty selfish of him alright. But I like how he's being selfish here. It's what makes him more human, I guess….

[3] honmei; [4] giri – During Valentines, girls either give honmei or homemade, or, giri or obligation chocolates to the boy they like. Homemade chocolates usually imply that the girl has romantic feelings for the receiver, while Obligation chocolates are given for friendship sake with no romantic feelings involved.

a/n: And so I tried experimenting on the KNB archives, and I came up with this gloomy story. :( Aomine and Kuroko's friendship struck me the most in the whole series. And the inspiration just came unto me. *Reach for a tissue to blow my nose* Anyway, do you guys think I should continue and write another or just leave it as it is?