***Inspired vaguely by a piece of fanart***

***WARNING: This story contains high levels of angst. Please proceed with caution.***

...

The hospital lights were bright, reflecting against the white tile floor below. The waiting room was empty except for the anxious volleyball team, and silent save for the employee at the front desk tapping away at the computer.

Tanaka was fiddling restlessly, looking more solemn than anyone had ever seen him before. Sugawara was biting his lip so hard it was a miracle he hadn't drawn blood, and he was squeezing a fistfull of his jacket, desperately trying to look composed for the sake of the younger boys around him. Asahi was silent and still, folding his hands and bent over nearly double, so his forehead touched his knees. No one could see his face.

Nishinoya was squeezing his knees, his nails digging into his skin. He was shaking. Tsukishima sat beside Yamaguchi, occasionally looking up at the door beyond which the hospital rooms resided. Though Tsukishima's tolerance for Hinata's antics were usually below zero, he looked uncharacteristically worried. Panicked, almost. And poor Yamaguchi was white as a ghost, trembling in his seat.

And Daichi, their team captain...everyone could tell he was fighting, mentally wrestling with his composure. He was stiff, but he hid most of his panic behind a mask of assurance and worthless words.

"He'll be okay. He's strong. Don't worry."

But he said it like he was asking a question.

Kageyama sat, stiffly, painfully stiffly, against the back of the hard waiting room chair, beneath the bright lights. He couldn't think, couldn't grasp the full reality of the situation. Didn't want to grasp the full reality of the situation.

But then again, how could he?

He remembered flashes. Things he'd much rather forget but couldn't get out of his mind. He remembered words like "Stay with us Hinata!" and "Don't close your eyes!" and wanted to throw up, both then and now. He remembered Sugawara calling, sounding uncharacteristically desperate, for an ambulance.

He remembered Hinata.

Silent.

Unnaturally silent.

Still.

Unnaturally still.

And it was wrong, because Hinata was never silent, Hinata was never still. He shouldn't have been still, or silent, because that wasn't the kind of person he was. He was like pure, concentrated energy, and whenever he was in the room, everything felt just a little bit brighter.

It was wrong.

This situation was wrong.

And Kageyama also remembered the blood.

The blood, though…

There was just so much of it. In the middle of the dark street, it appeared black, but Kageyama knew what it was.

Through it all, he couldn't do anything. He'd wanted to. He'd desperately wanted to. He'd wanted to help Sugawara contact the emergency services. He'd wanted to try and find help. He'd wanted to try and keep the rest of the team calm through the whole, chaotic ordeal. Overall, he'd wanted to go to Hinata's side and just be there for him if nothing else.

But in the moment of truth, he couldn't move.

He'd been frozen in place. Around him, everyone's wheels were spinning. Chaos had erupted; hell had broken loose; and yet…

And yet…

...He hadn't moved. At all.

And now, thinking back to it, back to that panic-filled haze that was still fresh in his mind…

...He loathed himself for it.

That one moment when his teammates actually needed him for something other than setting, and yet…

...He couldn't do anything.

If the actual event was a haze, then the trip to the hospital was a complete white-out. Kageyama actually didn't remember how they'd gotten there; only that they had, and that now they were in the waiting room.

And Hinata was...somewhere else. Somewhere else in the bright, white, too-clean hospital getting who-knew-what done to him. Kageyama didn't know anything about the medical field, but...it didn't take a medical professional to know that this case was serious.

Hinata's injury was serious.

Kageyama always hated hospitals. It's not like he had a bad history with them, or anything. He just didn't like them. The bright lights, the atmosphere, that too-clean smell that stung your nose and the back of your throat, the way everyone talked, the way they acted, the depressing air that hung above like stormclouds in cue, the fact that it was full of sick people, injured people, people who might never actually live to walk out of the hospital…

This can't be happening. He shook his head, squeezing his eyes shut tightly and shaking his head, wishing everything - this entire situation as a whole - would disappear.

This...it had to be a nightmare. Yeah, that's right. A dream. Some sick hallucination. That was all this was.

Please, just be some sick hallucination…

"Shōyō…" Nishinoya whispered, his voice cracking and quivering, and Kageyama snapped out of his daze, turning to look at his teammate. The libero didn't seem to notice, though, and he buried his face in his hands, no doubt to hide his tears for the sake of everyone else. "Please be okay."

No… Kageyama shook his head, still in denial. This is a dream. This is just a sick, twisted nightmare. So please. Wake me up, someone, please…

"Please don't…" Asahi's voice this time, just as cracked - if not more so - than Nishinoya's. Kageyama decided not to look at his face; he knew it would just make it hurt more.

"Don't...don't be…please just don't be gone..." Asahi was still speaking, and Kageyama wished he would stop, because the more everyone spoke, the more they pleaded, the harder it was for him to talk himself into thinking this was just a nightmare.

He buried his face in his hands, digging the heels of his palms into his eyes.

...End this nightmare…

"Please come back to us…" Daichi's voice didn't crack, but it was thick and strained. Kageyama knew exactly what he was trying to do. He was trying to be strong, to be the team's foundation now just as he was on the volleyball court.

But it wasn't working.

...I can't take this…

It's not right. It's not right. It's not right it's not right it's not right it'snotrightit'snotright-

"C'mon, Hinata…" It was Tanaka this time, and he spoke as though Hinata were really right in front of him, his voice full of determination twinged with unspoken fear and horror. "We wouldn't be anywhere without you…"

End this. Kageyama's hands slid from his face into his hair, and he yanked hard, trying to snap himself back into reality because there was no way this hell was reality.

Stop this. He yanked again, harder this time, squeezing his eyes shut even tighter. This isn't happening. Please, wake me up.

"Please, please, please…" Sugawara.

Someone wake me up. This can't be real.

"Be strong, Hinata." Daichi again.

Get me out of here!

"You'd better be okay, Shrimp. You'd better be okay." Tsukishima, and his voice quivered through his clenched teeth. His fists were balled against his legs, knuckles as white as snow.

No. No. No. No. No.

If this is reality…

...take it away.

I don't want it.

Wake me up.

Wake me up.

Please wake me up.

It was hours of painful silence, disturbed only by choked sobs and broken pleas, until finally...

"For Hinata Shōyō?"

Eight heads immediately snapped upwards towards the door, which was open, revealing a grim-faced doctor in a too-white, too-clean coat.

Sixteen shoes hit the white tiled floor and the team moved, as a whole, towards the doctor. Kageyama felt detached, like he was passenger instead of driver, body moving on instinct.

The doctor made eye contact with each player respectively in turn, and then looked down at his clipboard. There was something distant about his eyes, and there was a silent sorrow embedded deep into his frown.

"Your friend, Hinata…" the doctor began, his voice low, his gaze still turned away from the young men before him. "He…"

Kageyama's lungs were paralyzed. His throat was clogged by a tight, unmoving lump. He couldn't breathe. He couldn't think.

"...He's alive."

A deep, unison breath was released from every single high schooler in the bright, white waiting room. Kageyama's thoughts finally cleared, and through the corner of his eye he thought he saw Nishinoya do a victory leap, much like Hinata did whenever he was particularly motivated.

Kageyama stumbled backwards and almost fell, managing to catch himself at the last second. He felt lightheaded, and the floor seemed to swirl beneath his feet. He was overwhelmed by pure, undaunted relief.

"However…"

He froze. The doctor was still talking, and whenever a doctor said "however" after the words "He's alive," he may as well have said the world was ending.

The relief ended, and the members of the team watched the doctor, looking more worried than ever. Said doctor bit his lip - never a good sign - and looked down at his clipboard.

"There have been a few...complications."

And just like that, the flow of the entire world shifted.

…

Hinata was blind.

The reality of it was almost impossible to believe. Hinata was blind. Blind. There was no way of knowing if it was permanent or not, and the doctor said there was treatment and even surgeries they could do to possibly partially restore his sight (only partially and only possibly), but…

But Hinata was blind.

As of now, he was blind. Blind. Blind. The word echoed back and forth through Kageyama's head, loudly and persistently, like the beat of a wardrum.

Hinata was blind.

The first one to speak was Tanaka after the doctor's report, and the first thing he said was what everyone else was thinking:

"When can we see him?"

It wasn't so much of a question as it was a demand. It didn't matter when or how at this point; they needed to see Hinata. They had to. It wasn't a request. It was a statement. When can we see him?

The doctor sighed. "He's in intensive care," he said, "and he should be moved to a room in a couple of hours, but…"

"We're staying."

The words, firm, without any form of doubt whatsoever, were spoken in unison by each member of the team - Kageyama included. It was a mutual agreement they all shared, and if anyone outside that mutual agreement tried arguing, well, Karasuno would fight them, because there was no way anyone was going to get between them and their teammate.

However, this wasn't necessary, because the doctor simply nodded, told them he would let them know when they could see Hinata, and that was the end of that. They were back to anxious waiting in that crisp, clean waiting room.

And Kageyama hated it.

…

It hurt.

When the doctor returned to the waiting room at nearly two in the morning to tell the wide-awake and anxious members of the volleyball team that they could now see their friend, everyone had immediately jumped to their feet (again) and followed the doctor down the hallway, into one of last rooms.

They were finally able to see Hinata - two at a time, and quietly, as the doctor ordered.

But it hurt.

It still hurt.

It hurt so much to see Hinata in such a state. His hospital room was dark. It was silent except for the beeping of a heart monitor and the dull hum of an oxygen tank. It almost physically hurt, actually, when Kageyama went in with Daichi to see their precious, irreplaceable teammate.

There was so much wrong with this situation.

Hinata wasn't awake, but Kageyama hadn't really been expecting him to be, so he wasn't disappointed. Kageyama couldn't tell if he was sleeping, or if he was unconscious, or if the doctors had given him something to knock him out or whatever - maybe pain meds? - but either way, one thing was certain.

Hinata looked bad.

There were so many other words Kageyama could have used to describe the state of his teammate, but the most obvious - and the first one that popped into his head - was bad.

There were dark rings beneath Hinata's closed eyes, an oxygen mask resting over his mouth and nose and strips of thick bandages wound around his head. There was an IV prick in his arm and other wires connecting him with the heart monitor by the bedside. He was breathing, but it looked like hard work.

Kageyama swallowed back the lump in his throat and clenched his fist, his nails digging into his palm.

This shouldn't have happened.

This shouldn't have happened.

Not to Hinata of all people. Not to the idiot who could literally become friends with anybody, even Kenma the introvert and Aone the giant of Date Tech - heck, even Kageyama, the "King of the Court."

This shouldn't have happened. At all, to anyone, let alone to Hinata.

It should have been me, Kageyama thought, biting the inside of his cheek.

And then, he backtracked.

It was supposed to be me.

He swallowed again, balling his fists at his side.

It was supposed to be me.

Daichi put his hand on his shoulder, and they left to join the rest of their team outside the room.

…

Kageyama didn't visit after that.

He walked down the sidewalk, towards Karasuno High School on a Monday morning, one whole week since the freak accident, his hands stuffed into his pockets. He half-expected Hinata to suddenly breeze passed him, like he always did on their way to school; though they lived in different directions, they both used the same sidewalk to get to Karasuno, so they almost always bumped into each other (and raced, of course).

But this time, Hinata didn't. Kageyama knew he wasn't going to, of course, but it still hurt.

Kageyama's phone buzzed, and he pulled it out of his pocket, flipping it open.

From: Nishinoya Yū
Re: Hospital Visit
Daichi says no club activities today. We're gonna go visit Shōyō in the hospital after school. You coming?

Kageyama stopped walking, staring down at the message. After a long moment, he sent his reply.

From: Kageyama Tobio
Re: Hospital Visit
No. Go without me.

And then, he stuffed his phone back in his pocket and kept walking, ignoring the next couple buzzes of his phone (Nishinoya was probably yelling at him via long texts and all-caps).

If I go, I'll just feel out of place.

…

But his friends were persistent. They always asked him (or told him) to come with them to the hospital, and he turned them down each time, but it was getting increasingly harder to decline their offers, especially when Yamaguchi called him, saying, "Hinata's not awake that often, but when he is, he's always wondering where you are. I think he's worried. You should come see him. It'd probably mean a lot."

He knew. Kageyama knew he should go, but...but he didn't know how. He wasn't ready. Wasn't ready to face Hinata after what happened. It wasn't just some stupid "accident" like everyone said it was.

It was Kageyama's fault, and even if no one else realized it - even if Hinata didn't blame him in the slightest - Kageyama still knew the truth.

If he'd just seen that stupid car sooner...

His phone rang, and he grabbed it, flipping it open.

Incoming Call: Sugawara Kōshi

He bit his lip, thinking - and then, he accepted the call. "What?" he said instantly, and then berated himself for the tone of his voice. Did he have to sound so threatening all the time? Geez.

He paused.

Great, now I'm thinking like Hinata.

"Hi, Kageyama," Sugawara said, and Kageyama was broken from his thoughts. Sugawara sounded tired and worn, even though the phone. "Listen, I know you're getting tired of hearing this, but you should really, really come to the hospital with us."

Kageyama swallowed thickly. "I know that," he said. "I just can't-"

"Hinata doesn't blame you," Sugawara told him firmly in a voice that left no room for argument. "It wasn't anyone's fault, Kageyama. It was an accident."

An accident that just cost the kindest person in the world their eyesight, Kageyama thought harshly, but said nothing. Sugawara had a point. He always did, but still. Even so. Whether it was an accident or not, Kageyama still considered it to be his fault.

It didn't matter what anyone said.

"But, Kageyama…" Sugawara was talking again, so Kageyama listened. "...You really should come, okay? At least…"

There was a long beat in which Kageyama thought the connection might have been cut.

And then…

"...At least be there for moral support. He needs all he can get."

Click. Sugawara terminated the call, leaving Kageyama alone with nothing but his own thoughts to keep him company.

…

Well, he couldn't not go see Hinata after that. He still felt unbelievably out of place, as he followed the hospital receptionist down the hall and to Hinata's room, though Kageyama already knew exactly where it was. He'd never been the most sociable person to begin with. What was he supposed to say that wouldn't just make Hinata feel worse?

What do you say to the person who saved your life at the cost of their sight?

The receptionist left him in front of the closed door leading into Hinata's room. Kageyama sucked in a deep breath, raised his fist, and knocked twice.

The door was answered by Nishinoya, who looked at Kageyama like he was a ghost. The libero wasn't as energetic as he usually was, and there were rings beneath his eyes, like he hadn't slept in a week.

Maybe he hadn't.

"Oh, it's you. Sugawara told me you were coming," Nishinoya said, and he sounded a little frustrated. "Just announce yourself when you walk in so he knows you're there. And...if you plan on touching him any, even if you're just patting him on the shoulder, give him a heads-up first, got it?"

Kageyama nodded silently. He was pretty sure that, out of everyone on the Karasuno team, Nishinoya spent the most time with Hinata. Not because he cared more than anyone else, but because he was able to sneak past doctors and nurses after visiting hours and skip classes at school without any heed for his education whatsoever.

It was a little frustrating, to be honest, but also very comforting. At least Hinata didn't have to be alone for very long…

Nishinoya stepped out of the doorway and snuck back down the hallway - maybe to find a chair to crash on? Kageyama didn't know - and once he disappeared around the corner, Kageyama steeled himself, and then stepped into the hospital room, pulling the door shut behind him.

Hinata was awake. Actually, not only that, but he was sitting up in the hospital bed, looking marginally better than he had before. He wasn't on oxygen anymore, or a heart monitor, but there was still gauze around his head and dark crescents beneath his eyes.

The biggest difference of all were his eyes. They were...clouded. Fogged. Kageyama felt vaguely like he was staring into mist. He swallowed hard.

Hinata is blind.

He had tried to dismiss the doctor's verdict before, but now, he could do it no longer. This was reality.

Hinata was blind.

Hinata wasn't looking directly at him, but his head was turned towards the closed door. "Who's that?" he said, and Kageyama wanted to smack himself. He was such an idiot…

"It's me," Kageyama said, wishing he'd done so the minute he walked into the room. Nishinoya had just told him to introduce himself, but…

Hinata perked up, and Kageyama stared. "Oh! Bakayama! You finally decided to show up!" Hinata said, grinning.

Kageyama sighed. Aaaaaannnnd he's off.

"So, everyone around here is really serious and dull and it's pretty boring actually! The food here's not that great but it's better than the cafeteria at school - oh, and they said I'm gonna be discharged soon! I won't be able to get back to club activities for another month because they want to make sure my head heals up and stuff - which is no fair! - but I've got all these homework assignments to catch up on and it sucks! Oh, and…"

He ranted on, and Kageyama pulled up a chair. Hinata was talking more than usual, and there was eagerness in his tone, but it all felt...fake. Like he was putting up an act.

Maybe it's a coping method.

"-Nishinoya was here earlier, too, he said he's doing fine-"

"Hinata…"

"...And I talked to Kenma earlier, too. Tanaka dialed his number for me. We talked for a little while, I think he's doing good. He wants to do another practice match against us-"

Hinata probably didn't mention the fact that he was blind to Kenma. The more he talked, the more Kageyama realized that yes, this was a coping method. Maybe Hinata thought that the more he talked about everyone else, the less he had to think about his own reality.

Maybe Nishinoya realized this and spent more time with Hinata than before. Or maybe Hinata had asked him to.

"Oh, and Tsukishima was around here earlier. He didn't sound as angry as before so I think he's doing okay, and-"

"I'm sorry."

Kageyama blurted it before he even realized what he was saying. Hinata stopped talking mid-thought, glancing in Kageyama's general direction. He looked confused. "What for?" he asked, and Kageyama squeezed his hands into fists against his knees. He wished Hinata would get mad at him. He boarderline wanted Hinata to get mad at him.

Kageyama could deal with that. But he couldn't deal with this. He couldn't deal with Hinata not blaming him. It felt so wrong.

Kageyama didn't say anything else after that. Only continued to stare at the ground, so he didn't have to meet Hinata's eyes. It hurt. It hurt. It really, really, really, really hurt, and Kageyama wanted to scream, wanted to yank on his hair and scream at the top of his lungs.

But he didn't.

He heard Hinata sigh. "Oh...you mean that," he said, and Kageyama finally looked up. Hinata was staring at the far wall, no longer in Kageyama's direction. He couldn't see anything, but he probably felt Kageyama staring at him and didn't want to look back.

"Sugawara told me you're beating yourself up over...this," Hinata said, suddenly quiet, and he waved his hand in front of his face. Kageyama winced, wishing he wouldn't. "But...you really don't have to worry, Kageyama."

Kageyama ducked his head. I do worry.

"It wasn't your fault."

This is all my fault.

"I don't want you to feel guilty."

I do feel guilty.

"I'm fine, really...I promise."

You're lying.

It hurt. It hurt. It hurt.

The fake smile Hinata wore hurt. It was pained and forced and practically screamed I'm dying on the inside and Kageyama would rather sit next to a car-sick Hinata than sit here and stare at Hinata's fake smile.

He'd probably never admit it, but he'd begun to see Hinata as a sort of annoying little brother, despite Hinata being the older of the two. They fought more than anyone else on the Karasuno team, but they also understood each other better than anyone else at the same time. They had a mutual kind of friendship, one that required little words.

"But...why?" Kageyama questioned. "Why did you do that? You didn't...you didn't have to."

"I know I didn't have to," said Hinata. "I could have just let you get run over, but I wouldn't have been able to live with myself afterwards."

"I don't understand." This was a new thing entirely for Kageyama. This...this...something. This feeling of fear and regret and guilt and confusion because he just didn't understand why Hinata would risk his own life just to save his.

"You really are stupid, Kageyama. Baka. Bakayama." Hinata frowned (at least it was better than that fake smile). "I would've done it for any of you guys. Nishinoya, Tanaka, Daichi, Sugawara, Ennoshita, you name it. You're not special. You just happened to walk right in front of a speeding car."

Kageyama winced.

"Kageyama! Watch out!

He was shoved. There was a sickening crack and the screech of tires as the brakes were floored. Everyone was moving at once; Sugawara, as well as a few different onlookers, dialed 119.

There was blood. There was panic. Kageyama finally realized what had happened.

He'd been shoved, by Hinata, and Hinata had taken his place in front of the speeding vehicle.

"It was my choice," said Hinata, and Kageyama was brought back to the present, back to the aftermath of those events. "Now," Hinata put up a finger pointedly, like he was a teacher coming to the conclusion of a problem, "it'd be one thing if you were using me as a human shield, but you weren't. I wouldn't put it past you, of course…"

Kageyama glared.

"Just kidding," said Hinata. "But, you know what I mean. It was me. You didn't make me do anything. It was my choice, and…" He paused, glancing down, even though he wasn't looking at anything in particular.

"...And I don't regret it," Hinata finished. "I don't regret it at all and you shouldn't either. It wasn't your fault. It was nobody's fault. Playing the blame game...it'll...it'll just make it harder. For everyone."

He didn't say what he really meant, but Kageyama still caught on: It'll just make it harder for me.

"...Okay," Kageyama finally relented. "I won't blame myself anymore."

After that, they talked about pointless stuff, like volleyball and school, but eventually, evening came. Kageyama watched the sunset from the hospital room's single window, and then, he rose to his feet.

"It's late," he told Hinata, who looked at the direction of his voice (and ended up staring at the space just beside Kageyama). "I should head home, probably."

"...Oh." Hinata looked and sounded disappointed. "O-Okay."

Kageyama nodded, pivoted, and made for the door.

But at the last second…

"Wait, Kageyama."

...And he turned, looking at Hinata over his shoulder. "What?" he asked.

Hinata bit his lip, looking suddenly embarrassed. "Um...would you mind...would you mind staying? Just until someone else comes?"

The question caught him off-guard, so Kageyama really didn't know what to say. After a few moments of silence, Hinata went on, slowly and quietly.

"I-I've never actually been afraid of the dark before," he said, his voice wavering, "but...b-but it's different now, because...because now darkness is all there is."

There was a beat.

"Okay," said Kageyama, crossing the room once again. "I'll stay."

Kageyama wondered, vaguely, if this was what it was like to have a little brother. To want to protect someone with all your life, to hold on with both hands and never let go, to want to always be there if they were scared, to shield them when the world was against them.

If that was the case, then Kageyama was pretty okay with being that shield.

…

Weeks passed like decades until finally, at long last, Hinata was cleared by his doctor to continue club activities. The rest of the team was completely ecstatic to have him back, and they took turns - wordlessly - leading Hinata around by the wrist. Usually, this was done by Nishinoya or Sugawara, but Yamaguchi and Tanaka did it sometimes, too. It all depended on who was closest.

They never mentioned his blindness, never treated him any differently (other than leading him when they decided to move), and Kageyama knew Hinata appreciated this more than anything else.

The first day back at the volleyball club, Hinata sat on the bench and watched. Or, well, not necessary watched, but listened. Between getting switched out, Nishinoya and Tsukishima took turns on the bench, narrating the game for Hinata, who couldn't see what was going on but still wanted to know.

"And there he goes," began Nishinoya, "the famous Kageyama Tobio with his jump serve - oh, look, he missed! He needs to keep his head in the game! Oh look, now he's glaring at me..."

Tsukishima's commentary was much different but just as interesting.

"That was dumb. He was obviously going to toss it to the left and they blocked on the right. How lame. Oh, there goes the King - and there goes the point, too. If they weren't such morons they might be able to get another point - but of course, they are such morons, so they're obviously going to lose this one."

It wasn't that helpful, but it was Tsukishima's way of showing that he cared, and Kageyama could tell Hinata appreciated it.

…

Later on that day, after practice, when everyone else had left, Kageyama passed the gym on his way home.

And heard the familiar sound of volleyballs hitting the court inside.

With a frown, Kageyama moved forward to investigate, towards the sliding door leading in. It was cracked. Somebody hadn't closed it all the way. Who could still be practicing? he thought, peering in.

It was Hinata. The ginger was standing on one end of the court, facing the wall, a volleyball held in hand.

Kageyama was startled at first, but he didn't call out for two reasons: one, because it'd scare the living daylights out of Hinata, and two, because he was curious as to just what Hinata was doing here all by himself.

He said his mother was picking him up, Kageyama thought. Was he lying? How did he sneak back here? Did he steal the key, or did Tanaka just forget to lock up? ...Nevermind, considering it's Tanaka, he probably definitely forgot to lock up.

He stood, silent, and watched his teammate.

Hinata raised his head towards the wall and took a deep breath. "So, the wall's right there," he said, stepping forward and pressing his hand against it, "and the floor's down here, so…"

He stepped back again, raised the ball, and threw it hard against the ground. The ball bounced, ricocheted off the wall and came right back towards him, and Hinata raised his arm, swung -

And missed. The ball hit the court just beside him.

Kageyama blanched. Something in his chest clenched. He's trying to spike it…

Keyword: trying.

"Agh!" Hinata yelled. "I thought I had that one…" The cart containing all their volleyballs was nearby, and Hinata reached over blindly, managing to grab a ball relatively quickly. "Okay, again...the wall's right here, and the floor's right there, so all I have to do is…"

He repeated the same process with nearly the same results; this time, the ball flew right over his head after hitting the wall.

"One more!" Hinata said, grabbing blindly for a third ball.

Throw. Ricochet. Swing. Miss.

"Again!"

Throw. Ricochet. Swing. Miss.

"Again!"

Throw. Ricochet. Swing. Miss.

"One more time!"

Throw. Ricochet. Swing. Miss.

Kageyama watched. It was becoming increasingly difficult to keep quiet, and he could tell that the longer he kept at it, the more frustrated Hinata was becoming. The evidence of this was the crack of his voice, the aggressive force behind his throws and swings, the tears shimmering in his blind, misty eyes.

Kageyama wanted him to stop. He desperately, desperately wanted him to stop. But Hinata didn't. He kept throwing, and spiking, and missing, over and over and over again, until finally, when he reached towards the cart, there were no balls left.

He'd thrown and missed every single one of them.

Hinata stood there, staring at the wall he could no longer see, his hands balled into fists at his sides. There was a mixture of sweat and tears running down his face.

He stayed that way for a long, long while.

And then, he sank to his knees, burried his face in his hands, and sobbed.

When he was with his teammates, he put on an act, pretending he was happy for their sake, but he wasn't, and Kageyama might have been the only person to truly realize this. Hinata was miserable, and of course he was. He'd been robbed of a physical part of him and now…

...And now he couldn't spike a ball.

Volleyball, the thing Hinata loved more than anything else in the world, had been taken away from him.

Kageyama clenched his fists.

Just what kind of cruel place is this world?

Not for the first time, Kageyama prayed this was a dream.

…

"Kageyama...I think I'm going to quit volleyball."

Kageyama choked on his water. He and Hinata had stayed at the gym after practice, promising to lock up, while the rest of the team headed home (after Nishinoya made Kageyama promise not to bully Hinata while he was gone).

Kageyama rounded the spiker, suddenly furious. "What?" he snarled, and Hinata jumped with a small yelp, taking a couple of steps away from the source of Kageyama's voice. When Kageyama didn't speak again, Hinata lowered his guard, fiddling with the hem of his shirt.

"I can't do it," Hinata said slowly, his head turned towards the ground. He could, no doubt, feel Kageyama's eyes bearing into him and was trying to avoid it. "I...I can't do it anymore."

Kageyama balled his fists. "What makes you say that?" he demanded.

Hinata bit his lip, still fidgeting. "If...if I stay on the team, I'll…" His voice was strained. He was holding back tears. "I'll just bring you all down. You need to...you guys need to...t-to get stronger, and...and make it to nationals…"

Kageyama gritted his teeth. "Is that all you're thinking about?" he growled. "You don't think that maybe we care about you more than nationals?"

Hinata shook his head feverishly, backtracking. "No! It's not that!" he said, waving his hands back and forth. "I just...I don't want to be the weak link in the chain. If I can't see, I can't receive, I can't serve, I can't spi-"

"You used to spike with your eyes closed, anyway!" Kageyama was raising his voice now, suddenly angry. "We'll just go back to that!"

Something snapped, and HInata's own fury flared. "That's not enough!" Hinata shouted. "That spike isn't enough on its own!"

"IT'S GOING TO HAVE TO BE ENOUGH!" Kageyama yelled back. He balled his fists at his side, shaking with anger. "It's going to have to be," he repeated, "because we're not kicking you off the team!"

"But if I...if I keep playing," Hinata started, moving backwards, further away from Kageyama, "and you guys start falling down in the ranks, I'll...I'll know it's because of me! I can't deal with that! I'm not going to be the reason this team never becomes the best! I'm not asking for your permission, Kageyama! I don't need it! I'll quit if I want to quit!"

He was crying now. He didn't want to quit, and they both knew it.

"You're missing the point, Hinata!" Kageyama yelled, advancing, taking step after step towards Hinata until finally, he grabbed the shorter by the shoulders, ignoring his flinch. "Yeah, sure, if you quit we might make it to nationals, and we might win twice as many tournaments as any other powerhouse school in the prefecture, and we might become the best volleyball team in the entire world…"

He took a breath.

"BUT WITHOUT YOU, WE DON'T WANT ANY OF THAT!"

Hinata jumped, staring straight into Kageyama's face, and Kageyama stared back into Hinata's clouded, tear-filled, unseeing eyes.

"We don't care if you suck!" Kageyama went on. "We don't care if you can't receive or serve - it's not like you've ever been able to do that anyway! If you make a mistake we'll cover for you!"

"But I'll still drag you all down!" Hinata objected. "If you have to keep worrying about hitting balls I usually hit, what's the point of me being on the team at all!? The only thing I'll do is...I'll cripple the entire team!"

"THAT'S WHY THERE ARE SIX PLAYERS ON A VOLLEYBALL COURT, YOU IDIOT!" Kageyama screeched. "We cover for you! It's what we do! As a team! Sure, individual strengths make it easier, but no game is decided just by its starting lineup! We don't care if we have to hit every ball that comes your way! We're not going to let you quit just because you think you'll hold us back!"

Hinata swallowed thickly. He looked terrified. "K-Kageyama-"

Kageyama finally released him and stepped back, stomping his feet as he walked. He picked up the nearest volleyball and spun it in his hand.

"I want you to swing your arm," said Kageyama to Hinata, "right now, and you're going to hit this ball, just like you always do."

Hinata opened his mouth to retort, but all the fight was sapped from him, so all he did was utter tearfully, "But I'm bli-"

"Just swing your arm," interrupted Kageyama, raising the ball, getting ready to throw it. "I'll bring the ball to you, just like I always do. Just trust me…"

And jump.

Hinata thought for another moment, looking absolutely torn - and then, he nodded mutely. He raised his arm over his head, and the instant he swung it for the spike, Kageyama pinpoint-tossed the ball.

Smack.

Hinata's hand hit the ball, right on target, and the volleyball bounced against the court's floor. Hinata blinked a couple of times in disbelief.

"I...I hit it," he said.

Kageyama nodded firmly, crossing his arms. "You hit it," he said. "Nothing has changed. You're going to stand on the court with us, and you're going to spike my tosses, and we're going to go to nationals."

Hinata still didn't look completely convinced. "But...what about the starting run? What about jumping? What about the net? If I don't know where anything is-"

"We'll count how many strides it takes to get from one side of the court to the other, and how many it takes to get from the back of the court to the net," said Kageyama, frowning. "But it doesn't matter where you are. When you spike, the ball will be there. Unless, of course, you're a decoy. Got it?"

Hinata blinked again, and this time, there were more tears. "A-Are you sure I won't just…" He rubbed his eyes with the backs of his hands. "...I won't just b-bring the team to the ground?"

"As if you could," said Kageyama. "Which you can't, and even if you could, there's literally nothing you could do to make us want you to quit the team."

Hinata turned his head towards the ground, probably trying to hide the majority of his tears. Kageyama wondered, for a moment, how long Hinata had been suffering in silence, in the darkness that was his reality, shutting himself out and forcing pained smiles for the sake of his friends and family.

Kageyama swallowed, wanting to do something, but he didn't know what. What would Hinata do if their roles were reversed, if Kageyama was blind and crying and lost in a sea of darkness?

Kageyama sucked in a breath. Nishinoya's words came back at him: "If you plan on touching him any, even if you're just patting him on the shoulder, give him a heads-up first, got it?"

"Can...can I hug you?"

Hinata's head jerked up, and he stared at Kageyama as though he'd suggested they go to Mars. "W-what?"

"A hug," said Kageyama, stupidly. "Because...you're...you're hurting." Because you're suffering alone and you're not alone and I want you to realize that there are so many people here for you who love you and who don't want you to do this by yourself.

Hinata didn't move for the longest time.

And then, all at once, he did.

He flat-out charged towards Kageyama. Or rather, as he couldn't see, he was really charging for the space right beside Kageyama, where he thought Kageyama was.

When Kageyama realized this, he intentionally stepped into that space, and Hinata crashed into him, almost knocking them both over.

As far as he could remember, this was the first time Kageyama had actually hugged one of his friends. He was stiff and tense at first, not knowing what to do because he'd never actually been in this situation before, but eventually, he relaxed and hugged Hinata back.

Hinata was hurting. His tears made this obvious. Kageyama knew this, and standing in silence broken only by Hinata's sobs was a fate worse than death.

What do I say?

What would Hinata say?

"It'll be okay, I promise," Kageyama said, just to break the silence, trying to sound as convincing as possible. "You remember what I told you, right? As long as I'm here...you're invincible."

FIN

BONUS (Deleted Scene):

"Hinata, the team and I pitched in and got you something," said Kageyama to the spiker one day.

Hinata brightened up. "Ooh, you did? What is it?" he asked eagerly, leaning forward. They were sitting outside on one of the school benches; it was Friday, and they had just finished the last of their schoolwork for the week and were getting ready to head home.

"Here," said Kageyama. "Hold this, and take a guess."

Hinata took it from Kageyama and ran his fingers over it. Thick, bumpy fabric, almost like a fabric belt, but it wasn't a belt...it was…

"Wait, is this a leash?"

Kageyama nodded, and then, when he remembered Hinata couldn't see him, said "Yes."

"You...you guys got me a dog?"

On the other end of the leash, said dog barked (the dog had a very strange, unique sounding bark, Kageyama noted) and Hinata jumped, just slightly, in surprise. The dog was a border collie, and it came from a Service Animal Organization located a couple hours away from Karasuno.

Kageyama nodded, and then corrected himself again. "Yeah, we did. A seeing-eye dog."

"No way!" Hinata gasped, and he reached forward blindly, his head whipping back and forth as though by doing so he would somehow see the dog. "Where is it?"

The border collie leaned forward and nuzzled its head into Hinata's palm. Hinata practically squealed, and he leapt off the bench to hug the dog tightly around the neck, looking happier than Kageyama had ever seen him.

"Aww, she's so fluffy!" Hinata gasped.

"He's," Kageyama corrected. "It's a boy."

"Aww, he's so fluffy!" Hinata repeated, changing only the pronoun, and Kageyama rolled his eyes.

"It was Sugawara's idea," said Kageyama, "and we checked with your mom. She said she thought it was a great idea."

"Thank you!" said Hinata, beaming brighter than ever before, and he squeezed the border collie even tighter. It was an amazing gift, of course, but the fact that it was from his team made it that much more special. "Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you-!"

"You sound like a broken record," Kageyama frowned.

"S-Sorry!" Hinata said, but his grin never faded. "I'm just...I'm just so happy!" As if in direct response, the border collie barked again.

"So, anyways," said Kageyama, "you should probably start thinking of a name for him."

"I already have an idea," said Hinata, nodding firmly.

Kageyama frowned again. It's probably going to be something stupid and childish, like Fluffy, right?

"I'm gonna call him Kageyama," said Hinata, and he sounded so proud of himself it was almost ridiculous.

Kageyama made a face. "Why the heck would you name the dog after me?" he questioned. "It doesn't even look like me...not that you would know that…"

"Becaaaause," interrupted Hinata, "whenever he barks, it sounds like he's saying 'baka'!"

Kageyama blinked.

And then…

"I'm seriously going to smack you one of these days."

"Okay," said Hinata, grinning. "I'm sure Kageyama will bite you if you try."

"The dog having the same name as me is going to get really annoying really fast."

Hinata pouted. "You're no fun." And then, to the dog, "But Kageyama's fun, aren't you, boy?" The dog barked and wagged his tail. "See!? He really does sound like he's saying baka! He's just like you, Kageyama!"

"Shut up. And no he's not."

"Yes he is!"

"No he's not."

"Yes he is."

"No he's not."

"He is."

"He's not."

"He is."

"He's not."

…

"He is."

"He's not."

FIN (AGAIN)

Author's Notes:

Aaaaaccccckkkkk Kageyama and Hinata are my BROtp. I love platonic, brotherly relationships like this and I seriously wanted to write something, so I thought why not.

Well, looking back on it, Kageyama might have been a little OOC, but I had a really hard time writing the character interactions. This isn't my first Haikyuu! fanfiction (I've written a couple of practice ones that I haven't posted yet) so I feel pretty comfortable writing these characters. But traumatic experiences can change people and it was really hard to write how these characters would handle a traumatic experience so...I hope you guys still enjoyed reading it.

It seemed to me that blind!Kageyama is a big trend in this fandom, so I decided to switch it around. AND IT TURNED OUT TO BE ANGST I AM SO SORRY IT WASN'T SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE THIS GAK!

This was originally supposed to be short but I looked back at the wordcount and it's about 8,000 words…? Why does this always happen to me? It seems my sad fanfictions are always longer than anything else...WHY!? AM I GOOD AT WRITING ANGST SO THAT THE WORDS JUST FLOW NATURALLY OR DO I SUBCONSCIOUSLY LIKE WRITING ANGST SO I NEVER STOP!? AGH!

Anyways, if any of you guys are interested in reading this blind!Hinata AU as a multi-chap fic, I could probably make it into a one-shot collection of some sort but it all depends on whether or not you guys would actually read something like that. But I'm considering it, so let me know, 'kay? :) I'm also really, really thinking about rewriting this from Hinata's POV, too, so let me know about that.

Oh, and drop me a review if you fancy! ;)

Thank you all for reading, and I love you guys more than you realize! You're all beautiful, amazing people and don't let anyone tell you otherwise! :D

Cheers!

-BeyondTheClouds777

FIN (FOR REAL THIS TIME)