Before we start, I just want to make sure you know who everyone is (about 17 characters in this story! More than the number of friends I have...)

Mei- Taiwan

Yao- China

Batbayer- Mongolia

Kiku- Japan

Choden- Tibet

Yong Soo- S. Korea

Hyung Soo- North Korea

Ngai- Nyo!Viet

Guiying- Manchuria

Aroon- Thailand

Jiaming- Singapore

Cheng- Macau

Li Xiang- Hong Kong

Nü Wa- The mom. Her name has a special meaning which you will learn later!

Matthew- Canada

Alfred- America

Nü Wa, Queen of China, loved her twelve sons. They were all, in her opinion, the finest children one could ask for. Of course, they all had their quirks.

Yao, the eldest, was an excellent fighter. He could manage money well, adhered to traditions, and was an excellent cook. Sure, he did look so feminine that he usually got mistaken for a girl, and he was rather patronizing, but those were minor things.

Next was Batbayer. He was a fierce warrior and quite excellent on horseback. Unfortunately, he seemed to have become a bit obsessed with marrying Yao and taking over the world. But surely every family had that one psychotic kid?

Kiku, the third eldest, was quite talented with his katana. He had beautiful calligraphy and artwork, and was very obedient. Though he did take after his brother Yao in looking rather feminine, and he liked to secretly read and draw, ahem, adult things, but those were just tiny quirks.

Choden was the fourth, and he was kind and gentle. He believed in independence, which would serve him well should their kingdom ever be invaded. Of course, he liked to take walks in extremely high mountains. The guards that went with him for his safety would always return short-breathed. But exercise was good! It wasn't like it was dangerous or anything...

Hyung Soo and Yong Soo, the lovely Korean twins, were excellent musicians. They were tall, muscular, and strong. Like Batbayer, they had an obsession with Yao, though not to the point of marriage. Also, the two would die for kimchi.

Ngai was the seventh eldest. He was steady, stern, and good with his hands. He might carry that paddle around everywhere, and never smile, but he was still wonderful.

Guiying was the eighth eldest. He was tough and smart, and always gave great advice. Sure, he could be cold at times, but surely all children had those moments?

Aroon, the ninth eldest, was cheerful and always wore a smile. Of course, he did have that weird obsession with elephants, but everyone had their obsessions!

Jiaming, the tenth, was good at trade and spoke many languages. He was weirdly strict, and tried to get people thrown in prison for breathing the wrong way, but it wasn't that bad! (Actually, it was.)

Cheng, the eleventh oldest, was reassuring and calm. He loved tea, and while he could gamble at times, it wasn't like he'd accidently lost an eighth of the kingdom's treasury! (Yeah, no).

Li Xiang was the youngest. He made beautiful fireworks, and was hardworking. He was also great at trade. Sure, he was possibly the most disobedient child, and not in a good way like Choden. But deep inside he was considerate and loved his family deeply.

Yes, indeed, Nü Wa did have the best children in the all the world. And she was overjoyed when she found that she was to have a thirteenth child!

Sadly, the king was a psycho.

One day, while feeling her stomach, the king said, "My dear, if this child should be a girl, I shall have all of our twelve sons killed!"

Nü Wa blanched. "Say what now?"

The king grinned creepily. "I've already had twelve coffins made for them! And all the coffins have fine-quality wood shavings in them, coming from the Brutish East Shaving Company itself!"

"There's a company for wood shavings?"

"Of course there is! And because I love our sons so much, I had a super special tomb made for them! It was 120 terracotta soldiers in it! I'm also thinking about burying some scholars in with them."

"Seriously?" The queen shrieked, "Who does that?"

Obviously, Nü Wa did not think much of his plan. She fled from the room, weeping. After weeping for quite awhile, Li Xiang randomly appeared and poked her shoulder.

"Mama?" He asked, sounding worried. "What is wrong?"

"Your old man wants to kill you twelve if my baby turns out to be a girl!"

"Yeesh. He really should have taken that weird medicine Yao gave him."

Nü Wa glared at him. "Are you serious? Why aren't you scared?"

Li Xiang shrugged. "You've had boys up until now. What are the odds of it being a girl?"

Nü Wa sighed. "Just take your brothers out to that bamboo forest next to our kingdom for now. If the baby's a boy, I'll raise a red flag, 'cause red is lucky, and you can all come home. Then we can sign your dad up for therapy sessions. If it's a girl, I'll raise a hot pink flag, and you must all run away, run away and never return."

"Hey," Li Xiang said, "That last part sounded like something from the Lion King."

"Aiya! This is the ancient times! The Lion King doesn't exist yet!"

"Oops."

So Li Xiang and Nü Wa rounded up all twelve brothers, and they all fled, with Yao in the lead, to the bamboo forest. Needless to say, Yao began telling stories.

"And this is where I found Kiku!" Yao proclaimed, pointing to a random bamboo grove. "He was such a sweet and adorable little boy! Always so obedient... aiya, some of you should really learn from him. And now he's all grown up and sometimes I feel like not a thing has changed! Still so sweet and adorable…"

Batbayer narrowed his eyes. He had always been jealous of Kiku, since everyone pretty much thought he was Yao's favorite.

"Tom akh..." He hissed, grabbing Yao into a tight hug/choke-hold. "Am I sweet and adorable too?"

There was a moment of silence. Batbayer didn't really fall into the "sweet and adorable" category.

"Y-you are very strong and brave," Kiku volunteered.

Batbayer glared at him.

"I didn't ask for your opinion," He hissed, "I shall marry tom akh! I am sweet and adorable, right?"

"No," Yao said flatly, "You should stop obsessing over marrying me and taking over the world."

Batbayer looked even angrier.

"But Kiku always plays with his swords and reads adult stuff! I am more adorable than him, tom akh! Marry me, marry me, marry me! And we shall rule the world together! Kiku is stupid. All he talks about is taking over Asia and his swords. You are blinded by the memory of his innocent, young self. But I shall rip that illusion apart! I shall rip Kiku apart!"

"You do realize that it's no surprise that Yao thinks Kiku is cuter than you," Guiying muttered, "You two may be both psychopaths inside, but Kiku doesn't show it. Kiku puts on a sweet, kind face. You put on the face of a psycho. Have you ever heard of 'fake it till you make it-'"

"Shut up!" Batbayer snarled, "And that phrase hasn't even appeared yet! It's the ancient times, you fool!"

"Call me fool again and I'll-"

"Aniki! I love you!"

"Yao-hyung! I love you more!"

"Marry me! Marry me!"

"Aiya!"

"P-please-"

"Hey, let's admire elephants together instead-"

"How about some tea?"

"Everyone be quiet or I will hit you with my paddle!"

"You do realize gay marriage isn't legal yet? Also, you stepped on a bamboo shoot. That will be a fine of 5,000,000 coins and 50 years in prison."

"This is disturbing the peace and atmosphere… why don't we meditate a bit?"

As Li Xiang watched his siblings scream at each other, he realized that this would be a truly long wait. Hopefully his mother would raise a red flag and they could all go home, to where Li Xiang had his own, sound-proof room…

1/26/2017

Haha, I bet some of you thought from the first half that this would actually be serious.

Haha, no.

This is based of the Grimm fairy tale "The Twelve Princes," which is why the Asian family is bigger than usual. I'm super excited to be writing all these new characters! Manchuria is especially special to me, since my mom came from Shenyang, which is in Dongbei (basically the geographical region of Manchuria). Most of the relatives on my mom's side live there.

The name "Nü Wa" comes from an old Chinese myth I'm too lazy to tell you right now. You should try something called Google. I hear it works really well.

If any of the names sound wrong to you, please leave a review! I'm trying my best, I'm just a Chinese American, staying up past 12:00 AM…

That being said, please just review! Pretty please? Here, have a chibi Japan and Mongolia. That have you convinced?