A/N:

Warning: Haymitch and Katniss pairing

Happy Valentine's Day!

Love,

AL

Katniss sniffed at the small, yellow chunk that was the only thing to mar her perfectly clean kitchen table. It smelled faintly sweet, and was in the innocuous shape of a heart. But she wasn't the slightest bit tempted. You don't get to be winner of the Hunger Games by eating just anything.

Although, Katniss mused sadly as she put the small thing in her pocket, there was a time when that simply wasn't the could remember starving, could remember it very well. A few months of leisure cannot make up for a lifetime of paucity. She gladly would have risked death for any small morsel to fill her stomach at one point.

The little yellow heart was probably Prim's doing. It never failed to lift Katniss' spirits when she saw how happy some small and previously unknown joy delighted her little sister. She patted it inside of her coat and decided she'd show it to Prim later. No doubt the younger girl would delight in explaining the newest must-have candy of the capital.

Katniss stopped by the bakery before she went into the woods. She rarely went into the woods now, except every so often to collect herbs for her mother's medicinal supply, and never to hunt. Hunting would be too risky with all the eyes that were currently keeping tabs on her. She knew she shouldn't even risk these infrequent, short trips, but Katniss was afraid that without the woods to escape into once in a while she'd go insane.

Just before she entered the shop with her morning greeting to Peeta, Katniss noticed something small and pink on the step. Before she could pick it up, Peeta called to her. "Katniss!" he exclaimed, pleasure in his voice. He took her hands and she kissed him obediently, as she did every morning. She was used to this by now. If they didn't keep up some semblance of a romance, it could be very dangerous.

"You've just missed Haymitch," he told her as his eyes danced.

Katniss rolled her eyes, and her lips twitched in a hint of a smile. "Damn."

"He seemed to think you'd taken a substantial amount of liquor from him. You wouldn't happen to know what that's about, would you?"

Katniss shrugged innocently. There'd been far too many times she'd decided to mess with Haymitch's vast liquor collection to remember just what had happened to every bottle. "No idea, Peeta Darling." It had become a name for him, one she particularly liked because she could tell it irritated him about as much as it pleased him. And try as he might to deny it, she knew he loved that he had his own pet name.

He rolled his eyes. "Whatever you say, Katniss Dear."

Katniss didn't even blink. Try as he might, it never quite stuck to her as much as darling to Peeta. "I have to run an errand for my mother."

Peeta knew by now what this was code for, and shook his head quickly. "I would go home," he said carefully. Katniss' sharp gray eyes flashed as she took in the warning. She could tell something was wrong, and he couldn't talk about it here.

"If you say so," Katniss said to let him know she got the message. She kissed him goodbye and headed back to her house. As much as she longed to see the forest, breathe its air, she wasn't stupid enough to risk a visit there with Peeta's warning ringing in her ear.

She came home to a surprise. A grouchy looking Haymitch sitting at her kitchen counter. A bottle of half-empty scotch was beside him. It had been nearly full when she'd hidden it. She draped her coat over a chair and prepared for the worst.

"Hello, Sweatheart."

She could tell he'd never meant 'sweetheart' less than he did at this particular moment. "Haymitch," she said genially.

"Don't play innocent with me." He stood in a jerking motion. "I woke up to find everything I hold most dear gone."

Katniss motioned to the bottle. "Look, you've got it back, alright?"

He took a step toward her. "I'm not talking about one bottle, you degenerate thief. I'm talking about all of it. Now," he ran a frantic hand through his hair, "you'll kindly show me where it is. And," he pointed his forefinger at her in warning, "you had better pray you didn't dump it."

"I don't know what you're talking about, but I can see that you're drunk," Katniss said with a faux-patience. "Maybe you should go."

"All I found in their place were these." He held out an open palm.

Katniss looked down to see a pile of the little hearts in more colors. It must have been Prim again. Her sister had taken a liking to Haymitch despite Katniss' warnings and often brought him herbs for his hangovers. When Katniss told her it only encouraged him to drink more, the girl had decided he should stop the habit altogether.

Haymitch didn't believe her. "Is this a joke?" He held up a green one between two fingers. It said 'Kiss Me' and he stepped so dangerously close that Katniss thought that was his intention.

He noticed her shift nervously. "Oh, am I making you uncomfortable, sweetheart? Maybe next time you'll think before you enter my home and steal from me."

He stepped so close that she was backed up against the wall, but at that point, her own temper flared. She pushed at him, but it did little more than rock his shoulders back an inch or two. He leaned in until she could smell breath that reeked of the booze only she and Haymitch could stand.

"I could care less about your alcohol. But Prim actually thinks you might be a decent person without your clutch. Personally, I think it's the only thing about you that makes you tolerable."

He grabbed her shoulders and shoved her back against the wall so hard she hit her head. She bared her teeth, ready to snarl.

"Watch your words, Ms. Everdeen. I could kill you with any limb."

"Then do it," Katniss dared. They were both looking for a fight. She'd been denied the woods and he the freedom of his bottle.

"Everyone thinks you're so strong, but I was your mentor. I know the truth. You're weak. Just a pretty face with the determination of a carrion-eater."

Katniss' eyes stung. It hurt to have her innermost thoughts thrown back at her, but in a sick way she was grateful for Haymitch. He was the only one who seemed to see who she really was: a coward. A scavenger.

She looked at him. Eyes wide, face not impassive for once, but hurt. She could see the moment his anger left, because although his fingers hadn't let up an inch of pressure, his eyes and mouth weren't so tight anymore. "Pretty?"

"Why else do you think anyone finds you tolerable?"

She kicked out at him, but he stepped closer too quickly for her legs to land any hits. His body was flush against hers to hold her in close. One of his thighs was trapped between her legs. She kept up her struggle as she attempted to thrash her arms and legs hard enough to free herself.

But close combat had never been her strong suit. She couldn't break away from Haymitch or the smell of booze on his breath, but she did find he was breathing as hard as she was.

It was then that his face leaned down and it was then that her face titled up. There was no delay, their decisions coincided precisely.

His mouth was cold and wet, he must have walked a long time in the cold before he stopped at her house. And she enjoyed it, enjoyed how hard he was kissing her, the hand at her neck and the hand at her hip, and that the force was enough to knock her head back once more. But his stubble against her mouth and cheeks was the best. She pulled her hand up to see if it felt as good on her fingertips and it did. She wished there was a field in which exclusively Haymitch's stubble grew so she could go there and rub her entire body against it.

She tried to be as hard as him to meet his mashing tongue, but she found she couldn't, didn't want to. Instead, she allowed her mouth to be molded by his lips and teeth and jaw and she concentrated instead on invading every part of him.

Her hands slipped under his cream-colored tunic and found the firm skin of his stomach. She wandered up to his chest and shoulders. He broke the kiss and allowed her to pull it over his head. Her hands held his hips as he began to crudely tug her clothes off. Her back came off the wall only for a second while he tossed her shirt and pants to the side.

Katniss rarely bothered with underwear when wearing her hunting pants. He seemed surprised that she was already bare, but he wasted no time in moving his uncoordinated fingers against the button of his own pants. She helped him get them get passed his hips and ass and then they were kissing again. She was flush with his warm skin at her front and the cold wall at her back.

Her mind was too busy reeling from the feeling of his mouth to completely process the exact and strange feel of his lower body moving against hers.

His forearm went across her chest to pin her in place against the wall as one large hand slid across her belly to the hood between her thighs. His fingers moved easily across the warm glossiness they found and without delay, he slid one finger inside of her. He pumped twice, then added another. It felt like the hunger games all over again. There could be no hesitation, no time for talk. They simply had to act and if they stopped now, Katniss thought she might die.

Without removing his forearm as a restraint, he used the other arm to pick up one of her legs. One flex of his hips and he was inside her.

Her tears were sudden and her cry was weak.
"Katniss?" He hadn't known.

"Just kiss me," she begged. Her leg was still curled around his waist and her hands grasped the arm pinning her for dear life.

His head went down to hers and his arm finally stopped restraining her. He wrapped it instead around her midsection as he kissed her, open-mouthed and desperate. The movement pushed his length deeper inside her and she gasped while his tongue was in her mouth. He tried to pull away, but she had her hands wrapped around his neck, now. She held him to her and attempted tiny, painful thrusts against him.

He continued like that as he took her against the wall. Wonderfully, painfully.

She kept her head upturned so his mouth could continue to massage hers with his lips. Her fingers pulled at his hair and stroked it. She'd never liked his blond locks all that much before, but now it was something to hold on to while he rocked into her. And his stubble. The feel of his face against hers was all that kept the pain from overtaking the pleasure and becoming too much.

"Haymitch!" she said, alarmed. She pushed into him hard and moaned. She pushed off against the wall to spear herself on him. She cried out again.

He held still will she came, but he started to move his hips a little when she'd finally relaxed against him. She moaned in protest.

"Katniss, I- I need to go longer." A thrust. "I'm sorry." He pulled away just a little. "I can stop." It seemed like the thought pained him, but he managed to hold himself still while he was half out of her.

She finally realized that whatever had happened for her hadn't happened for him yet. "It's all right," she whispered, "just keep kissing me. Please keep kissing me."

He complied. And then he began thrusting at her, harder than before. It was all she could do to hold on to his bare shoulders and lift both her legs around his waist so that she was completely supported by his hands under her ass and the wall.

If she thought it was painful the first time, it was so much better and so much worse the second. He began to nuzzle her neck with that sharp stubble. "Haymitch!"

"Again, sweetheart?" he asked as his stomach dipped low in pleasure at the sight of the uninhibited desire on her face and feel of her pussy clamped against him. This time, he fucked her through it and she called out her pleasure over and over. His hips slammed into hers as he came. "Katniss," he sighed and ground his hips deep into her while the last of his seed shot out.

They moved to the bed later and she was curled against his chest. It was just as hirsute as his head. "Is it always like that? All the time?" She couldn't understand why he didn't just screw the pain away if it was. Maybe she was just opening herself up to a new kind of pain.

"You won't always like it," he said. He hated that he'd robbed Peeta of this, but wanted to enjoy the feel of Katniss' body against his for as long as he could.

"How do you know I liked it?" Katniss said stubbornly.

He chuckled. "Sweetheart, you were like an animal in heat."

Katniss punched his solar plexus and he grunted.

"You did like it?" he asked after a minute.

"I loved it," she admitted.

"What we just did has nothing to do with love."

But Katniss wasn't so sure. Even now she wanted him again. Wanted him to hold her and move against her.

His strength wasn't as brute as Peeta's – though he was strong. It was almost as if she could tell his cunning when he held her, could feel his ruthlessness when his fingers roughly traced across her skin, downward, downward with purpose.

She moved into his lap.

"I'm not sure I can go again just yet, sweetheart," he said as she struggled and slid against him.

"Let me just…" and she panted and she slid her lips up and down against him. He chuckled at her desperation, but held her nonetheless and those arms and her movements were enough. She rubbed herself over him until her sore, sensitive center came again. She collapsed against him, momentarily sated but she feared he was fast becoming an addiction – just like him with his liquor.

She wrapped her legs around his and settled in, deciding that if she slept at all tonight, it would be with his leg between her thighs. She made a helpless sound because even though she was now too tired to move, she could feel the beginnings of wanting him again.

"You're insatiable, princess," he complained, but it sounded like a prayer.

She finally, finally fell asleep after his rough fingers quickly dealt with her aching core and brought her to momentary bliss once more.

He tried to leave during the night and she gripped him tightly with her thighs. He disentangled himself easily. "I don't think you're ready to learn about the watersports the capitol adores so much."

She didn't ask. He came back to her and she wrapped around him again.

"Katniss! Katniss?"

She heard Prim's voice and her eyes flew open. She kicked and wiggled until she fell out of Haymitch's arms and out of her bed. She scrambled to the kitchen, where she found her boots and a long fur coat that covered her from ankle to chin.

"Katniss?" Prim entered into the kitchen through the front hall. "You never stopped by the shop this morning. Neither did Haymitch. He might be needing some more herbs soon." Prim looked around the kitchen.

"I was just- I –" Katniss looked around desperately.

"Your hair is a mess," Prim accused.

Katniss grimaced. The braid used to be tight against her scalp and now she could feel where the hair was pulling against the hair tie. "It isn't what you think."

Prim gave her a wide grin. "You slept in!"

"I- what?"

Her sister gave her a hug. "That's great, Katniss. Everyone needs a day off once in a while." She pulled away and wrinkled her nose. "Although I think you could use a bath."

"Yeah," Katniss said. "I know."

Prim narrowed her eyes at her sister. "You're acting guilty."

"Of what?" Katniss asked.

Prim surveyed the kitchen once more. She could site of a large boot mostly obscured under the table and her mouth dropped open. "I knew it!"

"No," Katniss denied as she became desperate once more.

"You let Haymitch spend the night drinking here." Prim sounded disappointed in her. "I've been trying to help him, you know that."

"Yeah, I know," Katniss said, sensing an opportunity to change the subject. "Did you do something to his stores of alcohol? He came here pretty upset about it. He blamed me." Katniss donned her sufferance like a veil against her sister's eager gaze.

It was Prim's turn to look guilty. "Maybe." She had that wide-eyed innocent look she always used to give their dad before the accident. Some part of her must have remembered how well it worked on him, too, despite how young she was.

Katniss smirked. "Please tell me you didn't dump it."

Prim rolled her eyes. "Of course not. Alcohol is very useful, medically. It would be a waste."

"Well, you can expect that your shop will be Haymitch's next stop and you'd better give back what you took."

Prim sulked. "This isn't how he gets better. This isn't how either of you gets better."

For a second, Katniss froze. Then she realized her sister meant the alcohol again. She tugged her little sister in for another hug. "When did you become such a grownup?"

"Since I had to be." Prim pulled away again.

Katniss looked at her little sister and thought about the childhood Prim could have had before her gaze landed on the original yellow candy on her kitchen table. "Prim, did you leave these all over?" She picked up the heart.

Prim's glum mood shifted as she smiled and nodded. "It's a capital tradition. I don't know a lot about it, but basically you give these things called 'Valentine's' to people you love, like those little hearts. It was a part of your ration winnings from the capitol. You found the ones in the cupboard?"

Katniss nodded, despite not having stepped foot in there in over a month. In truth, she hardly ever touched her 'winnings.' And she rarely went into the cupboard. The only food in there was food she'd gotten because 22 other kids died, some of them at her hand. It made the food difficult to swallow.

"I better get back to mom and the shop. Here," she handed Katniss a small, lightweight satchel, "these are for your hangover. His, too."

"Thanks, little duck."

"I'm serious about the drinking," she said as she stared at her big sister.

"I'm sorry." Katniss said, but her sister didn't acknowledge her as she left.

As she watched her go, Katniss felt relieved that her sister hadn't suspected. She felt upset with herself for lying. But mostly she was proud. Proud of her sister. A sister who always wanted to help people and who knew how to help people. A sister who knew sorry didn't mean a thing.

Haymitch shuffled into the kitchen with a glass of something she could smell from across the room. He was only wearing pants – unbuttoned pants. "That was harsh," he commented. "I'd love to give you time to recover, but I'm sure by now you've come to realize the horrible mistake you've made and are itching to have me on my way, so as soon as I find my shirt–" he peered under the kitchen table and came up empty.

Katniss slipped off the warm jacket. All she had on was his cream-colored Henley. It was long on her, but it still left her curves clear and her legs bare.

His gaze lingered as he cleared his throat. "Looks better on you." He grabbed the shoe Prim had seen earlier.

"Last night, I slept. I actually slept."

"So?" His brows were drawn.

"So, I want to make a deal. Like a business arrangement."

"Like the one with Peeta? Me and you? No emotions?"

"To stay with me. Yes."

The look on his face clearly was clearly dismissive. He turned away to look for his other boot.

"I'm serious," she said.

"What would I get, little girl? What could be worth putting up with you day in and day out? I'm not your boy. I'm not in love with you."

She had counted on her body being enough to bargain. Was it lacking in some way? "I could–could get you more booze–I-I don't–"

"Relax, sweetheart. You'll give yourself a heart attack." He gave her an appraising look "The erstwhile deal you made didn't end up so well for the last guy."

"This is different."

"How so?"

"He needed me. This time, I need you." She walked up to him and put her hands on his chest. She tried looking at him the way Prim looked at her.

He looked her square in the eyes. "You're an idiot if you really think you never needed Peeta."

"I know. He made me likable."

"He made you desirable. No power on earth could make you likable."

"I haven't slept since the arena. Not more than an hour at a time, I mean." She looked up. "I need you."

Something weakened in his face. Katniss didn't think she'd ever seen him seem so unsure of himself.

His voice was strong when he spoke. "You'll have to do everything I say. No matter what, whether you want to or not."

She nodded slowly.

"I don't care what you tell people, but you'll have to move in with me."

That gave Katniss pause. What would Prim think? Peeta? She found herself nodding, anyway. "Okay."

He opened his arms. "Come here, sweetheart."