A/N: I told myself I'd never write a "modern" AU. Or whatever you want to call it. Oh well. This isn't a serious story, more a fun little side project. Expect fluffiness and shenanigans. Actually, expect nothing, and I'll deliver even less.

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"It is absurd to divide people into good and bad. People are either charming or tedious."

Arturia didn't much care for waitressing at a bar. It involved a lot of stress and drunks who were often angry or handsy or both. Usually both. Still, it was a job that paid, and she was a broke college student trying to make ends meet. So she kept a stiff upper lip and did her duty without complaint.

It helped that her boss was a woman, at least. Siduri was brusque but fair, and treated Arturia with respect. She always stood up for her employees if a patron was being rude or unreasonable, and Arturia appreciated that fact.

That night, the bartender had called in sick, and thus Siduri was there filling in. Being under the watchful eye of her boss always put Arturia on edge. She was a good, hard worker and she knew it, but that didn't stop the paranoid voice in the back of her head from nagging at her all shift long to double, triple, and then quadruple check everything was in order.

That night, a man who was most certainly not a regular came in. Arturia wouldn't have forgotten him in a hurry, at least. His clothes were made of silk, he wore expensive jewelry, the most prominent being a gaudy golden necklace, and he possessed an extraordinary beauty. Arturia had never described a man as beautiful before, but there was an undeniable femininity to his elegant features.

He bought everyone at the bar a round of drinks, establishing himself as the center of attention for quite some time. The hubbub died down after a bit, and the strange man sequestered himself in a corner and just observed everyone else. It was all rather odd, and when Arturia began to approach to take his order, Siduri pulled her aside.

"Leave him to me," Siduri said, lips pressed thin. Arturia nodded, although now she was well and truly curious. She could feel his gaze on the both of them, and the sensation was akin to being pricked by needles. Regardless, she busied herself with the other customers and forgot about it until closing time came.

Siduri was in back, cleaning, and the bar had emptied out. But the beautiful blonde man was still nursing the same glass of wine he'd ordered hours earlier, watching Arturia as she swept trash out from under tables. After a couple minutes, in which she circled around the strange golden man multiple times, she decided this was a ridiculous farce and took matters into her own hands.

"Sir," she called out. "We're closing."

"I've been here for quite some time, and yet you still haven't taken my order, little..." He squinted and read her name tag. "Arturia. Why is that?"

He had a smooth, honeyed voice, and his earrings glittered and clinked with his every move. Wary, she stared back at him, holding her broom in front of her like a shield.

"Didn't Siduri help you?" Arturia shot him a pointed look. He swirled the drink in his hand, watched the blood red wine whirl about in the cup.

"I would much rather be served by you." He granted her a wide grin.

Arturia resisted the urge to huff and roll her eyes. She knew what bottle Siduri had gotten for him, and went ahead and poured another glass. When she returned, he reached and took it out of her hand, his fingers brushing against her own. A light tingle sparked across her skin, goose bumps erupting along her arms. She shivered and then berated herself for letting that happen. Rookie mistake.

"There you are. Now you should probably go," Arturia said. "I need to finish, or else I'll get in trouble." Had Siduri drowned in the sink or something? Where was she?

"I have premonitions. Rest assured, you'll be fine," he said with a straight face. She stared at him and tried to discern whether or not he was being serious. "Sit down and converse with me. I'm lonely and tortured and I need the company of a beautiful woman to save me from myself."

Not serious, then. At least she hoped that was the case, otherwise she had a big problem on her hands. Against her better judgment, Arturia took a seat, setting the broom aside. He was interesting, which was not the type of person she often saw at the bar.

Besides, she was mildly flattered that he called her beautiful. Not that other people hadn't, but they tended to be inebriated and twice her age, as opposed to sober and good looking.

He took a long draught of wine, and she watched the muscles in his neck work, accentuated by the deep 'V' of his shirt. Arturia wondered when it had gotten quite so warm in the building. He set down the cup and smacked his lips, appearing satisfied.

"You really need to leave," Arturia said, her words betraying her impatience. He rested his chin in the palm of his hand and smirked at her.

"I don't know, last I checked I could spend as much time as I pleased at establishments I owned. Closing or not." He had the look of a cat that just caught a large, juicy bird. Aghast, she did a double take.

Arturia knew the bar was owned by an eccentric millionaire who liked to buy wineries and places of a similar nature, simply because he could, but she'd never met him before. She didn't think he even lived in the area. Upon further reflection, she didn't even know his name. Could this strange blonde man really be the owner? Siduri had acted oddly around him, and he had the look of an eccentric millionaire. What was the owner's name, again? It escaped her.

"I suppose you can stay, then," she said, for lack of a better response.

"That is very generous of you." He seemed amused.

"Yes, well." Arturia cleared her throat. She needed to get back to work. And find Siduri, to either confirm what he'd told her was true or to kick him out.

"I might be more inclined to leave if I had someone to bring home with me," he suggested. She twitched.

"Pass," Arturia said.

That caught him off guard, and then he pouted. She returned his stare, although she was surprised to find she wasn't that annoyed by his blatant proposition. Maybe it was because there was something almost surreal about it all, but she didn't lend the situation much gravitas.

"Why not?" he asked. Arturia shot him an incredulous look.

"Are you joking? I don't know you," she said.

"I'm Gilgamesh. There, problem solved," he said, and smiled a cheeky smile. Arturia sighed.

"That's not what I meant and you know it." She tucked a bang behind her ear. The next statement slipped out before she could think it through. "Besides, I have standards."

It occurred to Arturia, then, that if this Gilgamesh really was the owner, her flippant mannerisms could get her fired. What if this was test? She should get back to work. The blonde man appeared insulted.

"I am the standard." Gilgamesh raised an eyebrow. It was such a blatant, egotistical statement, and once again, she couldn't tell if he was being facetious or not.

"I didn't mean it like that," Arturia said, reddening with embarrassment.

"Then what did you mean?" he asked. She didn't much want to discuss this, but her accursed honesty was activating and taking over.

"I'm... saving myself for marriage." Saying it out loud always made Arturia feel foolish. Which was ridiculous, because it was her decision, there was no reason for shame. Gilgamesh blinked and tilted his head.

"Why?" he asked, seeming genuine and curious. Arturia shrugged.

"Because I want it to be special," she said, unsure how else to explain her reasoning. It was something she'd decided a long time ago, a choice swathed in a surprising amount of romanticism. She couldn't even quite recall why, exactly, she'd made a vow a chastity, only that she had and she stuck by it.

"That's rather idealistic of you." Gilgamesh looked amused again.

"It's not that difficult. A little restraint never hurt anyone." Arturia scoffed and scuffed the wood floor with her foot. It left a mark and she regretted the action almost immediately. She began to rub it clean with her toe, and thus couldn't see Gilgamesh's expression when he next spoke.

"Well, what if I asked you to marry me, then?" he asked. Her head jerked up.

"What? No," Arturia said. He looked flabbergasted, as if that had been his trump card and her refusal was inconceivable. What a bizarre person.

"Why not?" he asked, his question tinted with petulance.

"I still don't know you," she reminded him. "Besides, I want my husband to be a man of character." Why was she telling him this? Arturia decided not to think too hard about it.

"I have lots of character," Gilgamesh said. He waved the golden bangle hanging off his wrist in front of her face, as if that proved his point.

"Good character," Arturia clarified.

"I'm attractive and rich, that's as good as it gets," he replied.

"You realize calling yourself attractive is considered unattractive, right?" she asked.

"Not when it's true and stated with confidence. Then it's endearing." Giglamesh smirked. Arturia rolled her eyes and changed the subject.

"Character, Gilgamesh. Character. Not material things like money," she said.

"Money is the greatest character there is, Arturia. If the world's a stage, and we're the actors, then money is the director, driving and motivating us even when we don't realize it. Or are you working here because you love your job?" Gilgamesh leaned back, his arms dangling off the edge of the chair. Arturia frowned and considered him.

"That's rather cynical of you," she noted.

"Realistic," Gilgamesh corrected. Delusional. She moved on.

"I have a hard time imagining someone like you would ever want to get married," Arturia said.

"Marriage is an institution designed by the establishment to enslave young men with bright futures," Gilgamesh said. She snorted. "But if you'll recall, that was my plan B. I would much rather us spend one night of passion and pleasure together. Then, twenty years down the line, when you're bored and miserable and secretly hate your husband and all his 'good character', you can remember me and feel a fond nostalgia and briefly forget how meaningless life is."

"You know how to charm a woman, I see," Arturia said, dry and unamused. She was still rather warm, and wiped her clammy palms on her uniform. Had Siduri cranked up the heat when Arturia wasn't paying attention? She decided to investigate once this issue was dealt with.

"It is one of my finest qualities," Gilgamesh confirmed.

"There are good men out there, men that you can spend the rest of your life with and be content," Arturia said, growing a little bit irritated for the first time. "You just have to be patient and willing."

"I have met no such men," he said haughtily.

"I'm surprised you deigned to look," she retorted, her tone turned snippy. Gilgamesh appeared startled, and then he chuckled and smirked.

"You really won't leave with me?" he asked.

Arturia would've been lying if she didn't admit she was tempted. He was handsome and intelligent and charismatic; his red eyes burned with an attractive intensity. The allure of the unknown sat across from her, grinning like the devil. She swallowed and wondered how much time had passed, as she'd become rather engrossed in the exchange of dialogue between them.

"No. And even if I wanted to, which I don't, I need to close. I'm running late as it is," Arturia said. He regarded her for a moment, and then reached into his pocket and pulled out his wallet. He counted a respectable wad of cash and laid it before her.

"A tip," he said. Her eyes widened as she realized how much money was sitting on the table.

"I can't accept this," she said, mouth hanging open a little.

"Think of it as an added benefit for being graced by my presence," Gilgamesh said.

"I can't," Arturia said, although now she was frowning in response to such a ludicrous statement. Regardless, taking so much felt wrong. He shook his head and returned half the cash. It was still far too much, in her opinion, but Arturia supposed it would be rude to turn down the compromise.

"You work tomorrow?" Gilgamesh asked. She gave him an odd look.

"Yes," she said.

"I'll see you then." He stood and exited.

Arturia watched his retreating back, and then pulled a face. Turning, she realized Siduri was behind the counter, staring at her. Neither spoke at first.

"I apologize," Arturia said. "I'll make sure everything gets finished."

"Don't worry about it. Gilgamesh is a very annoying man," Siduri replied. "He doesn't realize time won't stand still for people just by being near him. I'll help. Come on."

They worked in silence. Arturia's diligence throughout the shift made it a far easier task than it otherwise would've been. She tried not to dwell on the strange events of the night, as she cleared Gilgamesh's wine glasses away.

"Thank you," Arturia said, when all the tedious chores were completed.

"Don't worry about it," Siduri said again. "Watch out for Gilgamesh. He's a natural disaster waiting to happen."

"I can handle myself," Arturia replied, but she averted her gaze. Her cheeks grew heated, and she knew she was blushing.