Author's note: Okay this is my first attempt at fanfiction, hopefully I'll get it right (keyword being hopefully). This came about after I read "Dreaming of sunshine" (by silver queen) and other SI fics (I seriously recommend reading dreaming of sunshine, it's amazing), watched "Blackadder goes forth" and played Tales from the borderlands, it started as a joke in my head but grew into this as time went on, so as you might expect this fic will not be particularly serious (intro notwithstanding) and may get fairly close to crack-fic territory at times but will still follow the major parts of canon the teams and their members will be the same, major events still happen and so on. Also, this SI is not based off myself and more off any random guy who just happens to have an engineering background. The first chapter is mostly to build the backstory and thus be relatively serious compared to the rest of it (emphasis on the word: relatively)

Disclaimer: It goes without saying; but I don't own Naruto nor anything else related to it, all rights to it are owned by Masashi Kishimoto.

There are those who say that death is final and that there is nothing afterwards but oblivion, others say that there is a hereafter with paradise waiting for them and eternal damnation for those who they do not like or don't agree with them to the letter, there are also those who believe that those who die simply come back in another form to start over again with a surprisingly number of caveats related to said return. These are just three of many different theories we have related to what happens after death.

Those who have died would probably find out rather quickly (accompanied with either a smug sense of vindication or alternatively; horror), but will not be in any position to inform the rest of the populace of their discovery on account of not being alive.

This is, unfortunately the same position I find myself in and I can thusly say, for a fact; that it is not the first one, as I am still capable of conscious thought.

On the other hand, it may not be the second one either, as I do not see any sort of gate, pearly or otherwise nor do I feel any distinct change in temperature.

I will probably never figure it out until something actually happens, however I am not in any way feeling particularly optimistic, considering the depressingly long list of possibilities and their respective outcomes, some of which end with me getting eaten by some eldritch being barely within the confines of human imaging, and some end with me being forced to possess a tree for however long it takes for said tree to die.

I'm not entirely sure how I ended up like this, after all I am (or rather was) just your regular Joe everyman, with an utterly unremarkable background, an average family and home life, studied engineering in college and landed a safe and stable job designing farming equipment with aspirations that did not reach further than pulling a paycheck at the end of the month.

Despite remembering all that, I still can't quite remember what it was that did me in, all I know was that it involved a mildly amusing accident with a rubber duck and a bathrobe.

So here I am, waiting, the lack any sort of sensory input means the only thing I have is my own thoughts.

Perhaps the powers that be would accept a last minute convert?

Something tells me that metaphorically throwing myself at the feet of any theoretical greater power at this point of time would seem disingenuous at best and would almost certainly result in a very swift and very painful smiting. The best thing I can do is wait and hope that the powers that be are feeling generous, or at the very least (considering humanity's tendency to create faiths with deities that seem almost comical in their wrath and pettiness); less spiteful than usual. I now realize that perhaps insulting the powers that be while also being completely at their mercy may not have been a wise idea.

Maybe this is a form of purgatory where the dead are given time to reflect on their life and look back at what they left behi…

Suddenly there's shouting, screams of pain, some strange wet goop covering every inch of me, and something attached to what feels like my navel. Everything is a blur, I feel like I'm being pushed through a gap that is just wide enough to go through. Then I feel it; air, sweet, somewhat muggy, air. I guess it takes total depravation from any and all stimuli to make you truly appreciate something as simple as breathing.

The shouting and screaming continues (as does the squeezing), but it's all indistinct, I can't make out a single word let alone tell what anyone is saying, so I do the only thing I can do; call out.

All that came out was a wail.

Okay, that was only partially intentional.

This is not a pleasant experience, in any way, the shouting, screaming, crying and squeezing. This continued for a while until I feel what might be my feet dangling in mid-air. Then there's a strange sensation of something on my stomach near my navel and then something soft wraps around me.

Next thing I feel is warmth, something or perhaps; someone wraps their arms around me. The voices have calmed down, they sound relieved, happy even.

Of course, I am still very confused and at this point; severely frustrated as a result of said confusion, so I reacted the only way I could; cry, loudly. This time the voices reacted, they sounded like they were trying to soothe me, comfort me even, it's working.

This continued on until I'd calmed down a bit, started thinking properly again and started putting together everything I knew; I died, with the cause of death being a horrifying rubber duck and bathrobe related accident, and then…actually I'm still not sure what that was about but I don't want to dwell on it any further, for all I know was that might have been a brief stint in limbo. After that I was being pushed out of…

Well, now I feel like a bit of an idiot for not realizing it sooner.

Looks like all that talk of reincarnation was spot on after all, this answers one question but raises so many others, and the implications are as numerous as they are troubling, but for the moment I couldn't possibly care less. I am alive, and by the way things feel; human (or humanoid at least), sapient and I've got another shot at life. Nothing, and I mean nothing can ruin this day. Looks like the powers that be might not be quite as petty and spiteful as I thought they'd be. Might as well settle down, get comfortable and enjoy life.

It turns out my claim that this day could not be ruined was probably a bit too hasty, it was utterly ruined the moment I soiled myself and had to be cleaned up, one thing I noticed immediately was a notable absence of a certain organ (organs in this case) I'd grown used to in a previous life. I take it back, the powers that be are, in a word; jerks.

One year later

The past twelve months were fuzzy, like a dream of some sort, I can't remember much, yet somehow I just know about my new home and family. I know we were a family of four mom, dad, my big sister (by about 5 years) Ayame, and me. Together, we were the Asakuras. It was strange, calling these people my family, after all; I still remembered my old (and much larger) family from my past life. But when someone cleans you up after you've relived yourself in a diaper for the umpteenth time, you begin to start appreciating them after a while.

Unfortunately, our family of four was, as of 8 months ago, a family of three, I can't remember much of her, nor what exactly happened to her, but we do have a picture of her in the house with a vase full of her favourite flowers next to it. I don't know the details but whenever I try to remember; it just makes me freeze and start crying.

I don't know how it all started, but somewhere along the line I managed to establish some control over my vocal chords and legs over the course of the year. That doesn't mean I can actually walk or talk properly yet, but I can blurt out simple words and slowly stumble around the place. Besides, even if I could speak properly, I'm still unfamiliar with the local language, it sounds similar to Japanese, but there was something…off about it, like it was a dialect or an offshoot of the Japanese language.

Again, I don't know how I figured it out, but I did manage to work out that my new name is; it's Ayano, Asakura Ayano. Something tells me they named me Ayano because they thought it'd be funny if their daughters have similar names.

Which brings me back to the "impromptu gender bender" I found myself subjected to. Well, that's just one of the things hidden in the figurative fine print when it comes to reincarnation; you never know what you'll get so it's best to just sit down, shut up and thank the universe you weren't reborn as a dung beetle or something. I've come to terms with it, for the most part. Yes it's weird and puberty will be infinitely more awkward the second time around, but I'll cross that bridge when I get to it.

Dad's a chef of some sort (a good one at that) and it turns out our house doubles as a noodle shop, of course, only the front section of the ground floor is used to cook and serve noodles, everything else is just used for regular housing.

It's been one year since I was born (again) and today marks my first (sort of) birthday, Ayame tried to explain what a birthday was, and of course I had to play along and act like I'd just learned some sort of earth shattering revelation, I wasn't exactly being very convincing, but then again; she's six, I doubt if she can even tell that I was pretending to be impressed.

As a way of introducing the village to me, dad decided to take the both of us on a grand tour, to teach me everything we needed to know about it. Ayame was…less than enthusiastic at the news, she already knew all about "Konoha" already and she certainly didn't need her mem…wait a minute "Konoha?" Yes it seems as though the village really is named Konoha, or more specifically "Konohagakure" okay, that is a very chilling coincidence, but I'm not going to jump to any conclusions. I mean, sure some of the customers were a collection of weirdos, the technology available is mind bogglingly anachronistic and a slew of other things I'm just beginning to realize seem rather out of place, but I'm sure there's a reasonable explanation somewhere.

Well, I am an Idiot, the evidence was being figuratively shoved in my face almost every day and I didn't even figure it out until I saw the giant stone heads on the mountainside, and even then I kept denying it, kept telling myself that it was impossible. I even told myself that maybe I was born into a cult of fanatical anime fans. Fanatical enough to form their own commune, make their own variation of the Japanese language, amass enough money to buy part of a mountain range and carve giant heads into said mountains. Somehow that seemed more plausible than the actual truth itself.

What finally convinced me to just accept the facts was the talk dad and Ayame had with one of the instructors at the academy. It was a simple thing, really, "how are the kids?", "how goes the job?" and so on, and then the conversation shifted to Ayame, she was around that age where most kids would enrol into the academy, and the instructor said it wouldn't hurt (much) to at least give it a try, that she might make an excellent kunoichi, but Ayame was set on inheriting the family business and according to her; "expanding it to every corner of the map and beyond" and then the conversation shifted to me, "How about you, little girl? Would you like to join us someday? Make your daddy proud?" somehow he took my expression of shock as approval and told dad to bring me here in a few years.

Now here I am shuffling along as dad drones on about the village while Ayame and I pretend to listen, I still can't believe it, but there was no denying it now; this is the Naruto universe, somehow I've been reincarnated, with memory of my past life, into a universe that was, until a year ago today; fictional.

There are so many questions, too many to count. All I can think is: "This is going throw me into an existential crisis, isn't it?"

Author's note: Okay that's the first chapter, thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed it. I'd appreciate any sort of advice as I'd like to improve my writing. I couldn't exactly write in the jokes I wanted to into the prologue, but hopefully I can in future chapters (which I intend to have more "fun" with). Fun fact; Asakura is actually the family name of Teuchi's Japanese voice actor.