Had such a struggle with this chapter! Sorry, for taking forever to update. Hope you enjoy! I have very mixed feelings about this chapter. I wanted to spend days editing it, but I have a big writing deadline coming up. So I apologize for the current state it's in. If anyone wants to beta for me that would be excellent, if not no worries, I will muddle along a hot mess express.

LENA POV

Lena spent the day moving from car-to-helicopter, still reeling from her encounter with Lex, her nerves were a mess in contrast to the steadfast pace of travel. She would have stayed in Metropolis a day longer, but she had to bookmark her brother's health and head home to "her Kara." She had taken to saying "her Kara," as she could no longer say fiancée without a slight ache in her chest. She watched as rainfall gathered on the glass, drizzling down onto the edge of the windowsill. The poor weather from Metropolis had followed them the entire way back to National City. She held her broken arm in her lap trying to keep it from jostling. At her feet was a bag of medication which she knew could easily take care of her pain, and part of her wanted nothing more than to chemically fade away, but that was the easy way out.

Upon leaving Metropolis, she informed the Warden of the prison that her brother was off his medication. Then, phoned her lawyer to put in another appeal to get Lex moved to a mental facility. She missed her brother or rather the man he used to be. She ran her tongue over the bottom of her lip which was bruised and inflamed. That man was gone.

Winn downloaded an Audiobook called, "In Pursuit of the Unknown: 17 Equations," a book by mathematician Ian Stewart. She listened intently to the dull narration while her heart beat fast in her chest at the notion of returning home. She looked over at Winn, who was listening intently to the audiobook. He could be so spot on when it came to their collected taste in reading material. It irked her the notion that Kara's friends had already steeped through the invisible boundary between herself and the world, yet she could not see herself confronting her mother without these people, and it really sunk in. They were all Kara's people and she for better or worse was bound to them.

National City was still on high alert, its districts had been broken into checkpoints with armed servicemen on every street. It was slow going getting across town, all the cars seemed to be driving exceptionally sluggish with the added presence of police on the road. Rather, then going straight home, Winn pulled up to his favorite little burger joint. She had a vague memory of having been high on painkillers the last time they visited.

Winn looked at her meekly, "please don't kill me for coming here, I'm too tired to cook."

Lena felt a pang of guilt for having been so hard on him the first time he brought her here. She leaned over Winn to get a good look at the menu, each item had the calorie amount listed along with the option of super-sizing it. On the menu was a little decal of a happy cow which made her wonder; how a cow could be happy about being turned into a burger?

"I'll admit I didn't love this place at first with its "B" rating and its fried smell. I didn't fully understand what I was doing before I committed to a lifetime of-of- Burgers. Everybody likes them because they're sweet, kind, and genuine. You get excited being around them, and your head spins, and you find yourself babbling about them. Then you realize, it's a Luthor trait to hate before you fully understand someone... And you hate yourself for not being able to stop yourself, from acting the way you've acted your entire life. It's a vicious cycle and the only way to break it is to-" She stopped talking and glanced at Winn, unable to remember his original question.

"I'll have a number 18, extra large fries."

His mouth dropped and he stared at her shocked, then quickly doubled checked the calorie count posted on the menu.

"Really?" He said.

"And a chocolate shake." She no longer cared what trans-fat did to her.

Winn started to order, then stopped. "I can't do this. Lena, the Fatty Cow Special isn't you. What's going on?"

She gazed out the front window at the gray stucco wall. "This situation with Kara is not what it seems." She couldn't bring herself to say more.

Winn reached across the front seat and put his hand tentatively over her's.

"Kara is going to be okay."

She nodded to let him know his comfort was well received. He reached across the console and pulled her into his chest and she crumbled under his touch. Like a plant in need of the sun, she was sorely in need of connection.

Winn made a right turn onto Kara's block where the curb was lined with black non-descript vehicles, which stuck out amid the hybrid sedans and minivans. He parked at the end of the street and they walked the half-block to Kara's apartment where two guards were posted.

The guards were stretched out on the porch looking uncomfortable in their black attire. They stood up relieved to have a task even if it was to ask for identification. Winn whipped out his wallet and smiled nervously as the guards casually looked over his I.D. The DEO agents escorted them up the stairs to Kara's studio, stopping just outside the door.

Winn juggled the fast food bags as he patted his pockets for the keys.

"Right pocket," Lena had seen him put them there earlier, knowing he would likely forget.

They entered the apartment just as Alex exited Kara's bedroom. She was wearing a black DEO uniform with the jacket zipped all the way up to her neck. Her thumbs protruded through little holes cut into her cuffs. Her hair was neat and tucked behind her ears and around her waist was a tool belt.

She brought a finger to her lips and shushed them. "Kara is having a hard time with sound right now."

Lena glanced into Kara's bedroom, then heard a rush of water from the bathroom.

Winn unpacked the food, placing a bulk of napkins on the counter. "Why is it all black ops outside?"

"There for me," Alex said, snatching the food out of Winn's hands. "I'm under surveillance because- Sorry, Winn, it's strictly DEO business. " She grabbed a fry and stuck it in her mouth. "Let's just say I'm on J'onn's shit list."

Winn's eyes widened in shock. "Woah! What did you do!?" He clapped a hand over his mouth, remembering to keep his volume down.

The bathroom door opened and they all stopped talking, Kara stepped tentatively into the living room. She was wearing a long-sleeved lavender nightshirt and navy blue cotton pajama bottoms.

Lena tried to remain cool as she stood face-to-face with Kara, this lasted seconds as her breath shortened and her cheeks flushed. She looked around the little studio concentrating on everything but Kara. She could feel the other woman's eyes on her, then glanced up to find Kara studying her carefully. She finally smiled, no longer caring about her last ounce of dignity.

Lena exhaled a sigh of relief. "How are you darling? I've been so very worried."

Winn rolled his eyes, "she's been a hotmess."

She opened her mouth to deny it and found that she couldn't.

"They tell me I was out for three days," Kara said.

"You were," Alex replied. "We've all been very worried."

Kara dropped her head sheepishly. "I'm sorry, I should've called for back up." Her words hung in the air and for a moment she was completely disoriented. It was as if she did not appear to register that they were in the room. "I'm sorry," She repeated displaced.

Alex was the first to recognize that something was off and quickly wrapped an arm around Kara's waist. "I think maybe you should go lie down."

Kara nodded with the same detached facade, then glanced at Lena. "What happened to your lip?"

Lena ran her tongue over the cut on the bottom of her lip. Memories of her encounter with Lex bubbled up, her face reddened. She strained to keep herself from crying, she dropped her eyes not yet ready to divulge about her trip.

"Winn?" Alex demanded. "What happened?"

Winn opened and closed his mouth at a loss. "I really think it's a conversation between Lena and Kara."

Kara didn't bother prodding for further details. "I was going to nap would you join me?"

Lena glanced over at the bedroom which was equipped with lamps in each corner of the bed.

Winn reached into his bag and pulled out her medical chart, along with her pain relievers. He handed it to her. "We still need to do this today."

Lena grabbed the chart and placed it under her arm. "Now?"

Winn filled a cup of water and handed it off. "Yes, now." He opened the pillbox and lifted the lid marked, "T" for Tuesday.

She took the pill and water and followed Kara into the bedroom, stopping to pull close a sliding divider behind her.

"Can you lock it?" Kara asked.

Lena turned back to the divider, squeezing the latch into a lock position. Then used the divider to balance as she awkwardly kicking off her shoes. Her shoes went flying in opposite directions of the room. She smiled slightly, and took a daunting step toward the bed.

"I think Lex's War Suit can temporarily shield the effects of synthesized kryptonite."

"And what makes you think that?" Kara said quietly.

"It was built to destroy aliens. Specifically, Kryptonians-"

Kara hugged her pillow to her chest, then sat down on the bed. "I don't think you should involve yourself in this. It makes me very uncomfortable that you would."

"The level of threat is at an all-time high," Lena reasoned. "This isn't just about Supergirl, it's a philosophical war, one that we are losing,"

"No!" Kara winced and dropped her forehead on her knees.

Lena moved over to the bed, "please, darling." She pulled the pillow away from Kara and sat down next to her. "I'm sorry for upsetting you. I won't bring it up again." Lena reached above herself and aimed the sun lamp directly at Kara.

Kara eventually lifted her head up. "Doesn't feel like three days have gone by."

"Well, it does to me." Lena walked around to the other side of the bed. She pulled back the covers and took a seat.

Kara rolled onto her side, tucking her hand under her chin. "This is our first time in bed together."

It was a statement not lost on Lena, who was contemplating the same thing.

Kara yawned. "I'm so tired, I'm probably just going to fall asleep."

"Like an old married couple." Lena quipped, even as it pained her to say it.

"Hmm…" Kara said, with closed eyes. "I wish we could fast forward to that."

Lena waited until Kara's breath evened, then reached around herself and began to pull apart the buckle on her cast. Her back ached from having been upright all day.

Then, Kara sat up, "here, let me help."

"You should really be sleeping," Lena replied.

"Not without you."

Kara reached out and carefully peeled back the strap that ran across Lena's back. She lightly worked the material off of Lena's shirt. The sling loosened and fell around her waist. Lena turned, and Kara lifted it over her shoulders. She took it and placed it on the nightstand.

"I missed you." Lena said, not quite comfortable in her own words.

Kara's eyes dropped to her armband. "You ready to turn those screws?"

Lena laid on her right shoulder with her left arm propped on a pillow. She handed Kara the medical chart and nodded for her to proceed.

Kara read through the instructions on the chart and gazed up at Lena less than confident. "You ready?

Lena wrapped her arm over her face, "yes." She sucked in her breath as Kara attempted to turn the first screw.

Kara immediately stopped, "You need some medicine."

"You're doing fine," Lena assured. "Please, let's just get this over with."

"No, Lena, I can't continue if you're in pain."

"I don't want to take medicine anymore." Lena sighed. "I've had a problem with taking things. I'm afraid I won't be able to stop. In fact, I know it's in my personality that I won't. Because part of me already doesn't want to so, if you would please?"

Kara shifted closer to the middle of the bed. "That's brave." She smiled at Lena with empathetic eyes.

Lena could feel Kara's minty breath on her cheeks. She craned her neck off the pillow and brought her lips to meet Kara's. Kara responded with the softest pressure, carefully holding herself up, she deepened the kiss. Lena felt Kara's tongue tickled the tops of her lips and opened her mouth, with happy acceptance. Lena felt a sharp pinch on her arm and yelped into Kara's mouth mid-kiss. She looked down to see that Kara had turned the first screw.

"Fuck, Kara, baby." She muttered, completely turned on while in tons of pain.

Kara placed another lingering kiss on her lips, "sorry, baby."

"Fuck," Lena lifted her eyebrow, "that was a good distraction."

Kara looked down at the screws on her arm. "We have three more." She placed another kiss on Lena's lips. "Tell me something about yourself. Something, I don't already know."

Lena held her arm out for Kara to resume. "Lex changed the summer he interned for LuthorCorp in Smallville. He left home begrudging the notion of spending summer learning about agriculture. Then, one day I received an email about a local boy named, Clark Kent, they were so different from each other. Lex was immediately drawn to Clark, it was love at first sight." She felt a sharp pinch and the unnatural twist of metal beneath her skin. She froze as the pain consumed her senses.

Kara pressed a kiss onto her cheek, "almost done. You're doing great."

Lena took a deep breath, and continued. "Summer ended and Lex and Clark stayed in touch. Shortly after midterms, Lex flew back to Smallville to surprise Clark for his birthday. Along the way, his helicopter engine failed and he began falling out of the sky. Lex said, he knew he was going to die so he confessed out loud. I Love you, Clark. Seconds went by and then Clark appeared in the air just outside the aircraft. He was flying in his day clothes with his glasses on. That was the first time Clark saved my brother's life."

"That's so romantic and so sad," Kara said. "They never figured it out."

"Lex never believed himself worthy of being with Clark." Lena felt a lump in the back of her throat. She picked up the glass of water and took a drink. "I've been trying to convince myself that I'm any better."

Kara reached out and lightly touched the top of her arm, making soothing little circles around her gnarled flesh. "It really hit me when James died. He was supposed to be the "it" guy for me. And now he's-" She sighed, "Lena did we rush into things too fast?"

They lay in bed, staring at the water stain on the ceiling.

"It looks like a swirled ice cream cone." Lena mused.

"Lena, please I need you to answer the question."

Lena could see the uncertainty in Kara's eyes. "I know we did. But I felt drawn to you the moment I saw you."

"So did I," Kara said carefully, "do you think it's because I'm a Super and your a Luthor?"

Lena chuckled bitterly, eyeing the pill box next to the bed. "Yes, Kara, that's part of it. In the beginning, I wanted to win your heart and when I did, I planned on breaking it. It wasn't about love, it was about revenge. For things that had nothing to do with you. And if I'm being honest, it had nothing to do with me either."

Kara gasped, "Lena, why? How could you want to do that to a person? To me?"

"Kara, I've never been a real Luthor. I'm not a killer. The only way I could compensate was by somehow causing harm to you. But I don't have it in me to harm you. Not really, not ever."

"I see," Kara said shortly. "So you lied about wanting to be with me? Just because... Huh?" She picked up the medical chart and studied the strut placement. Her eyes did not break from Lena's as she turned the third screw, "fuck you."

Lena hissed as the metal twisted her skin, she could feel the adjustment down to the bone. "Kara- I'M SORRY!" She rolled on top of her arm to make Kara stop.

Kara flipped her over, grabbing the last screw. "I won't be lied to anymore."

Lena rapidly shook her head. "Please, Kara- When Lex went to prison, part of me became unhinged with the idea that I had to become him. So when you ask if it's a Luthor VS Super thing. I would say that there is something in you that makes you a hero. While there is something in me that makes me cunning, angry, intense. And I'm so angry at that part of me. I'm so angry, and it keeps me up at night. It keeps me drinking and doing things I shouldn't."

Lena moved Kara's hand over her heart.

"The only peace I've had in my life was that night at Garlic. When the room got quiet and I was on my knee, looking up for ages until finally, you said "yes," it was then I knew I was ready for something radical. It was like a burst of light straight through my heart. Since then I've just been trying to keep up with the invisible force pulling me toward you. Everything, everything, I've ever been has washed away, and now all I want is to be a good woman. To be the best woman for you. Kara, I may have asked you too soon. I may have been wrong in every possible way leading up to the asking. But I want to be with you. I want to someday be married to you. I know this with every ounce of what I am."

She stopped talking and noticed how quiet the studio had gotten. In the distance, she could hear the ticking from the clock radio in the kitchen. She gazed at Kara, who had a stunned look on her face that she could not quite read.

Kara stared blankly at the ceiling for a bit longer. "I think we should take some time off from this- Relationship. Because it's clear to me that you're not ready to be in one."

Lena felt her body go numb as the words she had been dreading finally landed not just on her ears, but on her shoulders, stomach, somewhere beneath the layers of skin, it hit her pulse. She felt dizzy and somewhat nauseous as she sat up.

"And-" Kara continued. "How could you ever think of me as just a Super? Like I don't have emotions and a life outside of my side job. If I'm just a Super to you then I'll give you the kryptonite and you can just end me. If that's what you want. If that is what will make things even between us."

"No-" Lena quickly asserted. "I don't want that."

"You know I survived when my entire planet was wiped out. Clark and I, we're the only ones left. I don't wear an "S" on my chest because it makes me feel good. I wear it because it makes me feel like I'm making something up to everyone who didn't survive. I thought I could love James, he was the actual hero. Then, I met you and I found I couldn't love him. Not like I love you… You're so dark and undeserving, I can't go back to being that way. Lena, I want to you to be happy. I love you too much for it to be any less."

Lena wiped the tears gathered in her eyes, "Kara my darling. Do you realize you're ripping me in half? There won't be much left after you."

Kara leaned in and kissed Lena again. "And you've done the same thing to me. Only you don't even know how much you've hurt me. I doubt you ever will."

Lena stood up and exited the bedroom into the studio space. Winn and Alex were gone and on the counter was a tray of wilted food. Lena looked out the large window, the weather had cleared up. She left the apartment and headed downstairs, the grime from the steps blacked the bottoms of her feet. She padded lightly down the porch steps onto the sidewalk and looked up at the sky. The sun blinded her and the wind whipped her hair in odd directions. It was only now she realized she left her shoes upstairs. She wiggled her bare feet on the heated sidewalk, the metal screws in her arm ached. She looked around not sure where to go, but her confusion did not last long. In the distance she could make out the bright white L-Corp tower and she started walking toward it.

Update, coming soon. Who do you want to hear from next Kara or Lena? Side question: Who's your fave character? Why? Who's your favorite support character? Is there anything you would like to see mass on the page? I have lots of ideas of where I'm going, but if you've got great ideas that I'm not picking up on through the computer screen, then please express in the comment section.