Fandom: Viewfinder
Title: 逸する. (Issuru.)
Pairing: Asami x Takaba
Rating: pg-13
Description: Preceding the Hong Kong chapters, Asami visits while Takaba's babysitting a child that looks just like him.

Disclaimer – Viewfinder belongs to the beautiful, talented, and ever-sexy Ayano Yamane.

逸する. (Issuru.)
By Miyamoto Yui

"What? Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Takaba."

He'd heard his name in a spectrum of ranges, but this had a deathly bite attached to it.

Asami cleared his throat as he sat on the black desk chair with his legs crossed and his left hand over the right knee, its grip displaying terse, dragon claws. A few feet away and feeling the quiet fury, Takaba never thought he'd see the day that the older man would be harsh to the point he'd ignore his damn phone.
Stone-faced, Asami took a deep breath. Bzz…Bzz…Bzzz…the phone continued vibrating through his dark jacket pocket, a captured snake deep in fabric.

Oh…shit. Why the hell was I in trouble?

"I-I can explain everything!" The younger man stammered as he hugged the toddler in front of him, who was waving outside the open window and enjoying the breeze. Takaba stood on his small cream-colored couch barefoot and turned around to face Asami as Shunkai wiggled to touch Takaba's nose. The toddler's light-brownish hair glistened smoothly with the late morning sun coming through the curtains and window. The fact that the beautiful color was identical to Takaba's made Asami's apparent simmering elevate to an even faster rate towards boiling point.

"Just tell me her name and I'm sure she'll give it to us to adopt." Asami gave an annoyed sigh as he finally pulled out the vigorous phone, rumbling uncontrollably in his palm.

Why do you always use your phone as the final solution?!

"You've got to be joking." Takaba rolled his eyes as he stepped off the coach and in front of Asami. Shoving him in front of Asami's face, he declared, "Look, this kid is my cousin! Cou-sin!"
The older man in the charcoal tailored outfit did not move a millimeter. His irritated expression remained unchanged, far from being unconvinced. "Name or phone please. The rest will be easy to find."

"Asami! You showed up here suddenly just three, THREE minutes ago, mind you! You can't just jump to your own conclusions! Don't you know me by now?"
His eyes scanned Takaba's, to the child's face, and back to Takaba's. Jealousy was ignoring logic all together, making it an irrelevant manner. He could take out a whole clan with a single handgun. There was logic in that. But when it came to this sexy boy in front of him, even he began to question his own self-control.
Taking another long breath, Asami's eyes darted into the little boy's. "Mini Takaba."
"His name is Shunkai!"
The child reached out its chubby hands towards Asami's cheeks, despite the scary pursed lips between them.
"Don't do that, Shunkai," Takaba scolded gently and apologized to Asami. "Sorry, he ate his hands and they're not..."

He paused for a moment as Asami closed his eyes, almost tenderly, as Shunkai again patted his cheeks softly while giggling.
"Weren't you mad that I'd had an affair and had this kid just a few seconds ago? Asami?"

Jumping in his arms, Shunkai felt no fear as he smiled affectionately at Asami. Takaba was dumbstruck by both of them.

You're not afraid of this polished beast…?

The conundrum pinched his heart. It hit too close to home.

You don't even care that Shunkai's hands weren't clean. It's because you've seen worse things.

Asami stared blankly at the child, but did not push him away either. Shunkai crooned his neck, his feet going up and down excitedly; Takaba held him protectively with his right arm and pointed his left index finger at the older man.
"This oni is Asami. He shows up whenever he wants to. I'm glad you're not old enough to talk and tell anyone about this." He looked at his cousin and back at the tall figure leaning back into the chair, putting his phone back into his breast pocket. "I don't know why, but he likes you."
Shunkai gurgled, trying to talk.
"A lot."

Asami smirked, smugly saying, "Of course he does. He's yours."

"Ugh!" Takaba sighed in frustration. Asami wasn't really listening to anything he said, just what he himself thought. "You're so stubborn!"
"Just be honest. Tell me you made a mistake and say you're sorry," Asami answered matter-of-factly. "I can fix everything."

His complete utter disregard for how he'd fix the "mistake" made Takaba shiver.

"You'd kill anyone who touched me."
"Yes, but this and that are different."

No, of course they are not. Takaba bit his lower lip. The fact that Asami didn't look like he was joking was almost making him feel resentful and irrationally turned on at the same time. The guilt towards the latter reason made him even more upset towards Asami.

"Can you just hold on for a sec? My grandma couldn't take care of him so I had to take a day off work to help my cousin out."
Shunkai was bouncing up and down, wanting to be held by the intriguing stranger.

"Why are you here anyway?"
"I was going to a meeting later on tonight."

So I thought I'd see you before then.

Takaba shook his head. As perplexing as this man was, especially when he revealed nothing, he was starting to understand the different intervals of silence around him.
"You can't just stay here and do nothing. You have to help me take care of him if you're staying."
"Why should I take care of Mini Takaba?"
Clenching his eyes and wanting to rub his temples simultaneously, Takaba answered, "Again, please call him Shunkai."

Ignoring him completely, Asami shook the kid's hand as if meeting a business partner. He was still ever so serious. "M. T."
Shunkai squealed when Asami let go. Then, he said something to the effect that sounded like "Oni."
"Oh please don't remember that word." Takaba's face grimaced, and Shunkai laughed even more.

Sadistic. You guys seem to be more related than you and me!

"Um…you know I was kidding right? You can, like, go?" Takaba went over to the kitchen to look for a pot as he held Shunkai securely next to him. "Aren't you always busy? Don't you have any place, besides disturbing my peace, that you have to run off to?"
At this, Asami flashed him a smile while swiveling the chair towards them. "Actually, no."
"No," the young man repeated to himself as he put water into the pot. "Well…"
When they both watched Asami once more, Shunkai tilted his head and spread his arms out towards Asami.
Exasperated, Takaba commented, "Why are you so excited over this guy?"
Without missing a beat, deadpan, Asami replied, "Because he is Mini Takaba."
"You!"

We're not getting anywhere…

Covering his mouth to hide another smirk, Asami pretended to clear his throat. That face alone made this trip worth it.

"I will go back to trying to give Shunkai some lunch."
He gave him the bottle but Shunkai swapped it away.

I don't know. They didn't tell me anything because it was so sudden. What am I gonna do?

"Give him to me."
Asami waited with his hands out, but Takaba refused to budge. He was more concerned about what the consequences would be.
"I wouldn't harm a child that looks like you."

On the contrary, that's precisely why I'm worried.

Reluctantly, Takaba held the toddler out for Asami to take and put into his lap.
"Well?"
"I was waiting for you to get something else he'd eat."
"Haah?" Takaba took another long frustrated breath.

His best bet was something soft, so he tried to cook some porridge. But as soon as he pulled the strings of his teal apron, Takaba ran to Shunkai's bag and pulled out one of the two books inside of it. He handed it over to Asami.
"Read this."
Taking the book with a stern face, Asami inspected the book before opening it. At seeing the familiar cover, Shunkai began clapping his hands, and patted the book, ready to read.
"Once upon a time, there were three…"

While stirring the porridge, a small chuckle escaped from Takaba's lips when he began to listen to the story. At some point, he couldn't hold it in anymore. Hearing this, Asami raised an eyebrow though Takaba couldn't see it.

"And then the big bad wolf said he'd huff and puff before blowing this house down." Looking at Shunkai, Asami pointed at the house made of straw and interrupted his own read-along. "That takes too much effort. It is easier to burn the house then they will leave."
Apparently, this warped, commentary version of the story seemed to work for the toddler because he was still listening deep enough for Takaba to cook without interruptions.

It disturbs me that they have similar tastes.

Carrying Shunkai to small round table in the kitchen, Asami sat down in front of the solid blue bowl.

"Have you never read fairy tales before?" Takaba pulled his work chair to sit in front of them.
"No."
Shunkai eyed the brown wooden spoon as Takaba blew on it. Asami took a mouthful instead.
"What do you think you're doing?" He held the spoon in mid-air.
"Checking the temperature. It's still a little hot."

Hungrily, Shunkai tried to pull Takaba's wrist so that he could eat. Sticking his tongue out, Takaba let out another chuckle. "You're just bratty as the guy holding you."
All the while, Asami was watching Takaba as he fed the child. He lifted up his bib, patting the edges of his lips whenever some rice fell through. At one point, he grazed his thumb under the baby's lip and ate the porridge again. "You've improved since the last time you cooked for me."
"I was worried about your cold," an embarrassed Takaba retorted, feeling self-conscious as Asami stared at both of them with undivided attention.
"Is this how they fed you in your house?"
"Hmm? What do you mean? Of course," Takaba answered with a perturbed 'Doesn't everybody?' tone.
"It was just a question," Asami answered enigmatically. He looked at the child again who refused the last few helpings to say he was finished.

Lifting up the baby cup with water, Shunkai held it as Asami's finger gave a little help from the bottom.

Watching them quietly, Takaba began to wonder about Asami's cryptic past.

He couldn't ever imagine him as someone that small and helpless.

#######

Wanting to get out of the house after days of staking out for another story, Takaba decided that they'd go on a picnic. Guards were within a 1 km radius while they sat just outside of the Imperial Gardens, which were inside the ruins of Edo castle. Parallel to Uchibori Doori, there was a large expanse of green and trees. Not far from the busy street corners, they looked for a place to sit as groups of tourists, residents, and business suits floated around.
Carrying a baby bag and another one of other essentials, Takaba leaned down to follow the small one's pace as Asami followed behind them with a slight smile on his face, undetected by Takaba of course. Shunkai let go and turned around to grab Asami's leg, looking up earnestly.
"Yes?" The dark-haired man looked down at the round face with red cheeks.
Shunkai tiptoed to reach out his hand towards Asami's. Without thinking, Asami curiously found himself reaching down. The child held onto that single index finger, firmly grasping it and walking along happily.
By the time they reached their picnic spot, Takaba had already spread out their orange blanket and unpacked whatever they needed. Pulling on the velcro of Shunkai's red and blue shoes, Takaba put him on his lap and gave him a toy train.
Taking off his shoes outside of the four-cornered square, Takaba once again was reminded about how refined the older man was.

With the exception of a few phone calls, the day was relatively tranquil. And after eating their ham sandwiches, Shunkai ran around with Takaba trying to catch him. Lifting him into the air as Shunkai giggled uncontrollably, Takaba sweated and laughed hoarsely behind him. Asami was leaning on one side with his knuckles pushing into his cheek, nonchalantly glancing at them in between paragraphs.

When they got back, Shunkai ran to hug Asami as he sat up.
"I don't get it. Why aren't you scared of this guy?" Takaba wiped his forehead and took off Shunkai's shoes before Asami held him, not wanting to sit down and demanding to be hugged. Asami gave him a Look but Shunkai rubbed his eyes and yawned. "Oni~!"
"Fine."
Just at that moment, Takaba put his head on Asami's lap instead and looked up.
"Now who's calling who a brat?"
"If he gets to do it, I can too."
"Are you really competing against a mere child?"
"Hmph." Takaba looked towards the extended line of walls before them. "I'm tired so let me stay here for a moment, 'k?"
"Do as you wish."
While the little one's eyes drooped as he became fussier, the bigger kid snuggled in his place.

If we had met through normal circumstances…

Grabbing for his own bag, he took out his single-lens digital friend, and started taking pictures from that angle, even up Asami's chin and Shunkai's back.
Looking down as a little snore entered his ear, he whispered, "I thought you were tired."
"I am, but I want to remember this. We never go out during the day..."
Zipping his camera back in its case, Takaba began to drift off…

When he woke up, half of the afternoon was gone, ready to change its colors for twilight, but not quite yet. With Asami's jacket covering him, Takaba opened his eyes as the cool wind ran along the contours of his body. Blinking his eyes tiredly, he slowly focused on the tree in front of him. Leaning on the tree in the shimmering rays, Asami's profile was looking out at the intersection, holding Shunkai in a silver baby pack crossed over his chest. His hand held his bottom and patted it as he was explaining something that Takaba couldn't quite hear with the traffic.
His lips stopped and Asami was deep in contemplation while the weather, the beeping cars, and the feel of the slight humidity in the air whisked him back temporarily to a temple in Hong Kong, praying as he never had before.

Before that time, he never believed that God existed.

Facing the child's radiant face, Asami hadn't realized he'd been smiling with half-closed eyes.

Loosening the knob just a tiny bit, Shunkai pulled on the tie while pointing at the sports car that had just passed by.

I wish we could stay like this.

The fleeting thought took Takaba by surprise because his gut feeling told him that it was only a matter of time before all the lines that intersected would become a mess, blurring everything between them. For better or for worse.
He took out his camera once again to embed all of it into his mind.

#######

Shunkai waved to Asami as Takaba said goodbye from outside the sleek black BMW. Before rolling up the window, looking away, Asami nonchalantly said, "If anything ever happens, I will adopt him."

Takaba gulped at how messed up, yet sweet it sounded. Even so, he was so moved that he grabbed for Asami's shoulder, squeezing it tightly. He hated letting go.

The deception that you'll be safe when you're finished with your business…
..but the deeper we go, I never know if you'll come back for me…

Because in the back of his mind, he wasn't worried about losing, he was worried about being forgotten by Asami.

That flashy exterior doesn't hide that he doesn't care about anything. Including himself.

Taking his hand, he bit the tip of Takaba's index finger. Throwing the hand out, Takaba stared at Asami's averted face until the tinted window reflected his own visage.

Even if you're laced with lies, I'd still search for you.

#######

Sitting on the bed with Shunkai leaning on him, they had a large piece of paper spread out. As he cut specific prints, Shunkai pasted the numerous stickers that Takaba had for him. There were stars of every color and size.
When Shunkai got tired of that, he began to draw with the crayons that Takaba had in one drawer for brainstorming ideas.

So by the time Shunkai's parents came, he was already sleeping and his cousins kept on thanking Takaba before he passed out on his bed.

Hours later, after 1am, Asami listened to his voicemail box. One was from Takaba. He simply said, "Thanks for today, Asami."

He told the driver, "Please turn around."

Upon entering Takaba's apartment, spread out on the dining room table there was a homemade game of some sort, made in the shape of a paper bamboo plant.

How childish.

He then realized the stalks were of various lengths like a spiral staircase, each with a rectangular card attached to every stalk. It didn't say the usual "Tanabata".

Once upon a time, there was an oni who lived in a high-rise tower in a kingdom far away.

They couldn't kill him because he was cursed, and the person who did would receive the curse. Wanting to steal something, a little pauper joker came to taunt him.

Instead, he found himself visiting him every single night with a new riddle to get the oni to laugh. He didn't.

And one day, when the little pauper was captured into a distant island, the oni broke his tower to go after him. But even when the oni went off to live in another tower of his making, the little joker still went to look for him.

"Why do you keep following me even though I'm no good?"
"Because I promised I'd make you laugh one day."

The End.

Even through this text, he can't escape from reality. As we are, you will never be happy with me, Akihito.

His fingers lingered at the corners, pressing on the cardboard paper with the various crayon and glossy digital pictures full of his many expressions. Faces of a person that only appeared in front of Takaba alone.

With eyelids half-lowered, he stared at the ludicrous paper with a grim expression. He had always hated this life that he had no choice but to live. Even more, he had to cut up every kind of emotion he had, watching each one die as he became more immune to what life or human actually meant, if it was anything at this point.

For the first time, above all the filth, he'd understood what he'd wished for on the lotuses of that temple.

Even if it was like this, he was glad to be alive. He could be a wandering soulless monster, but next to this boy, he could be grateful for this forsaken life.

Takaba was trying to fill all the blank spaces…cover up the memories he wished he'd never seen…

Taking off his jacket, he sat in Takaba's bed, who was sleeping guilelessly. Licking the inner canal of his ear while pushing his hand in between his legs, Takaba gasped for air and bit on Asami's fingers. Coaxing him awake, Takaba began to moan and whimper from being fondled, his voice coming out in spurts and confusion.
"Ah…mmm…"
Biting on his neck while pressing himself against his back, Takaba jolted, squeezing his eyes at trying to distinguish among the darkness, reality and dreams. Asami buried himself in the crook of his neck, trying to paint his scent into his skin.

Even if it's just a broken dream, let me savor it…

Sliding inside of him as Takaba's knuckles turned white in between Asami's tight fingers, he wondered why Asami had lost his cool, angered and desperate.
"Asami…I can't…"
At that moment when he was ready to climax, in the darkness, he turned his head to see Asami's lonesome eyes and tight jaw. Pulling his head closer, his tongue reached out to kiss him.

Don't look at me like that…
Why can't you understand I don't care if I have to go through hell as long as we don't part?

It was true no matter how many times they tried to push one another away…

That one inescapable truth remained: No one will ever look at me with such quenchless desire.

When he slipped away before dawn, Takaba kept pulling on his jacket to keep him from going until he slipped out of it for him to embrace. Curling his body, his naked body held the sleeves of the Italian wool against his chest and legs, sleeping soundly with a small grin on his flushed face.
As soon as Asami locked the apartment door, he walked down the stairs, got into his car, and pressed his phone against his ear. "Kirishima, if anything ever happens to me, please give everything in the safety box at Mizuno Bank to Takaba Akihito. If this is not possible, then let's look at the family registers…"

The day of his downfall had never been so clear. It was now only a matter of time of how fast the descent would come.

How was it that he could make me miss things that I've never had?

Owari. / The End.

Author's Note: I think I was just on the brink of bursting. A few years ago, I saw a business man on a major Tokyo street with a babypack while looking out the window of the rush hour train. Considering the fact that I've never seen it (before or since), I thought it was one of the warmest things I had ever seen in the world. And strangely, I thought instantly of Asami. Maybe it was because he was fit and had wide shoulders?

Thank you to the hottie who told me to look at VF more than a decade ago.

I really hope you enjoyed the fic!

逸する – (1) to lose (a chance); to miss (a chance); (2) to overlook; to omit; to forget; (3) to deviate. (According to Jim Breen's wwwjdic, my favorite Japanese dictionary.)

Love always,
Yui

2/11/2017 10:54 PM – Los Angeles
2/12/2017 3:54 PM – Tokyo