A few five-sentence fic prompts I filled on tumblr. All are funny/ridiculous/pure crack. The title of each mini-story is the same as the prompt that was given. I hadn't posted anything in a while, then I remembered these.

Pineapple

"Sam, why the hell didn't you tell me you're allergic?" Jess is freaking out, stumbling around the apartment in her underwear, looking for her keys with little success.

"I 'ever ate 'ineapple 'efore," Sam tries to explain around his ballooning tongue, he sighs and scratches at one of the hives at his neck. Jess, now fully clothed, grabs him by the hand and yanks him to his feet hard enough that he almost loses balance, then she leads him out of the apartment at a pace he struggles to keep up with when his vision is so fuzzy.

"We'regoingtothehospitalrightnowhowthehellcanyounothaveeatenpineapplebeforetheageoftwentyone?"

Jess' voice blurs into one shrill word, he's not entirely sure if it's because she's panicking or because the inside of his head is puffing out of his ears, so he tunes out and lets her guide him to her car, thinking that Dean would love to one day hear the story of how Sam almost killed himself by eating fruit off his girlfriend's body.

Donald Trump is president

He stays up all night and as the results come in, the number of beers he drinks grows. By the end of it, the TV screen is blurry, but he can still understand what's happening: Donald Trump has been elected as president of the United States.

"This isn't right, this is fucked up," Sam says, slurs, and he slumps back onto his bed.

"It's gotta be our kind of thing, right? Sammy, this has to be our kind of thing, the dude can't be human," Dean says, he's drunker than Sam is but he's still on two feet.

"Maybe the world is cursed, like, the fourth apocalypse, or maybe he made a demon deal, because there's no way this is normal."

Dean sighs, "We've got work to do, again."

Cow in the kitchen

"Why the hell is there a cow in the kitchen?"

"She's a calf," Sam protests, puffing out his chest with as much nine-year-old ferocity as he can muster.

Dean eyes the beast warily, it's lapping water up out of the motel kitchen sink, stretching its neck out to reach, he sighs, "You need to take it back to where you found it, Sam."

Sam steps back, closer to the animal, and he sets his jaw, "I heard the farmer saying he was going to make her into burgers, Dean, I can't take her back there. You won't tell Dad, will you?"

"No, Sammy, I won't tell Dad."

I hope you enjoyed these short fics. I'm currently working on chapters for two other fics, a Sam-centric prompt fill and brand new one-shot, whichever I finish first will be posted soon.