Title: Two Chicks And A Pianist Walk Into A School...

Rating: T for pretty mild language and a bit of violence, nothing too bad though.

Pairings: AusHun, mentioned PruCan, PruAus and PruHun

Disclaimer: I do not hold or claim to hold any sort of ownership or rights over the characters in this story; they belong to Hetalia/Hidekaz Himaruya and Harry Potter/J. K. Rowling.

Credits: DoveleafOfCloudClan for a lot of the plot! She/he/they gave me a bunch of great ideas. Thank you so much!

HAHAHA I'm writing the APH Trio. This'll be awesome/pitiful.

Austria - Rodreich Edelstein

2P!Austria - Roland Edelstein

Hungary - Elizaveta Héderváry

2P!Hungary - Julia Héderváry

Prussia - Gilbert Beilschmidt

2P!Prussia - Gilen Beilschmidt

Two Chicks And A Pianist Walk Into A School: One:

The smug blonde wizard-dude was starting to seriously piss me off.

"So you're our new teachers?" he wondered. He eyed us for a moment in a rather condescending manner, then added to Hungary, "You do know that being an assistant in a Care Of Magical Creatures class requires a lot of physical labor, don't you?"

Hungary grit her teeth and I just barely restrained myself from jumping up and punching that smug little smile right off his face.

"And that History Of Magic is probably the least important class we could possibly have?" he added. "I mean, you're barely out of school and this is how you're choosing to spend you life? DADA and History are useless. It's not like we're ever going to need those-after all, we have the Ministry. You're clearly failures."

Hungary sprang to her feet. "You can insult me all you want, but you insult my oldest friend and my dear husband? You're going down, kid," she smirked down at him, "Since I can't give you a detention, I'll just have to..." She took a few long strides toward him, cracking her knuckles. "...Improvise."

* time skip brought to you by the APH Trio

The peaceful tranquility of low murmurs and small talk was shattered when a scream ripped through the air.

Harry was on his feet in a second, and out the door in two. Ron and Hermione followed him. Their footsteps pounded against the train's floorboards, and they found themselves amongst a small crowd of silent people.

Pushing their way through easily, they froze at the sight.

Malfoy sat slumped in his seat, tears welling from the corners of his eyes, blood trickling from his nose.

There stood a woman with long brown hair, a flower tucked behind her ear and contrasting vividly with bottle green eyes. She was sniggering at Malfoy, clearly the one to put him in such a position.

She called out to the crowd in a heavy accent, just as the first few haunting chords of a violin floated through the air, "Take my advice and don't insult your new History or DADA assistant teachers."

There was an awkward silence as a strange, violet-eyed man continued to play the violin.

"Yo, Roddy, cut that out. It's totally unawesome!" an albino man said, wrenching the violin and it's bow out of his grasp.

'Roddy' rounded on him, "That's my violin, you know! And I'm glad it's not awesome, as you said, because it is instead refined and elegant!"

The woman turned and forcibly held the albino back. Chatter filled the air and Harry watched as 'Roddy' said something about immaturity and the Austro-Prussian War (what those two things had to do with each other, Harry had no idea).

He, Ron and Hermione walked back to their seats, Hermione saying something about even the teachers they hired being irresponsible.

* time skip brought to you by the Magic Trio

Harry only got the feeling there was something remarkable about those teachers when he found the Threstrals being overly affectionate with all three of them, but particularly the albino.

He heard as he walked past, carefully avoiding any protruding spindly wings, "...it's most likely because of our history... All the death tied up in our pasts." Then 'Roddy' smirked. "And Gilbert, they must like you so much because of your dissolu-mmfph!"

A Threstral head butted him gently, much like an overgrown, ominous cat. 'Roddy's' expression fell nothing short of outraged.

'Gilbert' looked suspiciously happy about that.

Harry shook his head and continued to his carriage, where Ron and Hermione watched the scene in confusion.

He was sure it would all be explained at the start-of-the-year feast.