July 28, 2017

This is probably the first time I've ever done this in a long time. Quite frankly, I never thought I'd return to my journal... but things have happened in the past few years and upon finding this, rather than to vent my frustrations out to friends I thought it would be better to write about my problems.

I mean, I used to do that before I became a married man...

And while I'm on the topic of marriage, my relationship with my wife hasn't been the best.

It's been three years since I married Mia and although we respect each other, there is an enormous amount of strain on our relationship. Back then, I fell head-over-heels in love with Mia. She was an angel, the woman I believed I was destined to be with. Smart, capable, and caring— the very things you couldn't find in an honest woman nowadays. I should know. My previous relationship was a living hell and I thank God that Mia and I found each other. She was a Godsend.

She was the outgoing type, a compliment to my reserved, introverted self. I sometimes wonder how I was able to approach her and why she picked a bland, boring guy like me.

"It's because you're fearless, Ethan," she would say, "Nothing in the world could scare you."

I wouldn't say that... I have fears too...

But now I'm getting sidetracked. Fears aside, Mia and I were inseparable for a time, until Mia was offered a new job as a "babysitter" for some foreign company. Apparently, this job required her to leave for extended periods of time to wherever the hell they were going to.

I remember distinctly that while on our honeymoon, we had to cut it short because work was calling her name. Again.

I was... upset. I mean, wouldn't you be upset if your wife was gone for months because of work? But I kept quiet about it for a year, thinking that her company was short on employees overseas.

Then another year passed and her departures became more frequent...

Then, because curiosity got the best of me (and slight annoyance), I asked her up front about it. She'd never tell me the details. She'd always go with the typical scapegoat:

"It's just a babysitting job."

Bullshit.

Complete and utter bullshit.

But I'd just go along with what she said and never ask any further. Mia would smile, kiss my cheek, and tell me how much she loved me. She also promised that we'd spend more time together (Who knows? I might even get lucky she would say).

I know you love me, Mia, and I love you too.

But this isn't about love.

It's about trust.

I really want to believe that Mia is really doing what she claims she's doing, I'm skeptic over Mia's job. Who exactly does she work for? What does she really do?

Don't leave me in the dark like this, Mia...

Well, in any case, I'm just glad she's home now. She's already asleep. It's kind of cute watching her sleep...

Damn... That came out wrong...

I sound like a creep...

Fuck, must be getting tired...

Shouldn't be staying up too late... I have work in the morning...

Hopefully, I'll find the time to write again. It feels nice writing in my journal again.

Good night,

Ethan W.

August 6, 2017

Work has taken a toll on me... My manager fired three more employees this week and relocated five more. I swear, my manager is a total asshole... My pay grade isn't improving either, despite that I've been "promoted." A promotion doesn't pay the bills...

Overall, my new job is shit compared to my old one.

Mia asked me today if anything happened at work. I told her about the manager, firing and relocating employees, blah, blah, blah. It was not until I mentioned my promotion that... you know what? Here's how it went down:

"Oh, and I got a promotion today."

"Oh my God! Really?!"

And then she tackled me like a bullet train (she almost broke my back today).

Mia also assured me that things will get better and I should keep my head up. Ah, Mia. She can be so optimistic, even at the worst of times.

Though I still have my doubts, I still appreciated Mia for being there for me.

Now if only you could just tell me the truth...

But later that evening, it was just the two of us. Mia insisted that we should go out to celebrate my promotion, so we did. She picked a pretty expensive restaurant, you know? The ones that require an early reservation? I felt sorry for my wallet that night, but there was no pain in indulging yourself after all your hard work right?

The wine was great, the food was delish, and it's been ages since Mia and I talked like this.

Like a husband and wife, happily married together.

I wished that it didn't end...

Then we drove back home. Out of the two of us, I was the more sober one so I had to drive us home safely. After we got home, I carried Mia upstairs to our bedroom and laid her on our bed. She looked so serene while she slept...

Damn it, there I am again. Being a creep...

I need to stop making comments like that.

Anyways, I think I should sleep too (surprised that I can still write while slightly drunk).

Good night,

Ethan W.

EDIT: 11:48 p.m.

Damn it.

Mia's phone woke me up. Her ringtone's so loud...

I didn't want to wake her up so I reached over to her side and picked it up. Although my vision was a bit blurred (alcohol and drowsiness don't go well together), I looked at its screen, showing a notification.

I know. I shouldn't be looking through my wife's phone without her permission but the text message caught my eye.

Sender: Tentsu

Winters, M. You and Droney, A. are to relo...

The rest of it was obscured by a series of ellipses. I couldn't unlock Mia's phone because she had a password, but then again I attempted to snoop through her phone. If she woke up and saw me with her phone, she'd probably kick my ass.

I don't want that. I REALLY don't want that.

But I'm curious. Who is Tentsu? Who's this Droney guy?

What the hell is going on, Mia?

I need answers.

I need confirmation.

I need... some sleep.

My hand can't write anymore...

Ethan W.

Author Notes

Hello, Resident Evil fandom/archive! I'm pretty familiar with the series, so I do know some RE lore but not that much... Even so, this is a slight AU with a bit of canon here and there.

After playing Final Fantasy XV, I started playing The Beginning Hour Demo. I was impressed, so I bought Resident Evil 7 and I have to admit it's a great game. Best survival horror I've played in a while.

I felt as though Ethan was leaning towards the "silent protagonist" trope, so in an effort to explore his character I wrote this. Because RE7 is in the first-person, I thought it would be fitting to write everything from Ethan's perspective. This is also the first time I've done a fanfic in a diary format, so I'd be humbled for some constructive criticism.

Also, there aren't a lot of RE7 fanfics... So, I'll put my own two cents in.

This might end up being an M-rated story... But I'll put a T rating just in case. A little heads up!

Anyways, I really hope you enjoyed the first entry!

Chao!

~Bon De Soren