This is one I posted a few months ago on my tumblr. I'm writing a few things at the moment that aren't really finishing and I feel bad for not uploading anything in a while, so this is kind of an apology? :'(

This story was based on a post by taillow-suift on tumblr. The idea and all the funniest bits of dialogue come from him, so I get almost no credit for this work! That's why I was reluctant to upload it here, so double sorry for being unoriginal.

"So … you're telling me that the two of you are dating as in … romantically? You're together?"

Ash and Misty shared a glance.

"Isn't that what we just said?" Misty asked.

"And you've been dating for two weeks?" Brock spat out.

"Yes?"

Ash licked his lips. She hadn't imagined telling Brock would involve so many questions, or reiterating what they had already said a few times. His mother had been much more accepting – maybe a little too accepting. She'd set the standard for the rest of their friends, but it appeared the two of them were wrong.

Suddenly, Brock jerked his hands over his ears and started yelling at the top of his voice. "Lalalalalala!"

Very wrong.

"Um …" Ash started, sharing another look with his girlfriend. She looked just as confused as he did.

"Brock?"

"So you're telling me," he continued on, still yelling, "That you guys didn't get together?!"

"Uh … no, Brock –"

"And you won't be hooking up till I find someone first, right?!"

Ash's expression deadpanned. "Brock."

"Is that right?! Good! I'm glad we could have this talk!"

"Brock, you're acting like a child," Misty sighed.

"Lalalalala!"

"You'll find someone someday …" Ash started weakly.

"And that'll be before you guys get together!"

"I'm going for the ear," Misty growled.

"I don't think that's going to work, Misty," Ash murmured.

"Then I'm going for the groin."

"If I fly us back on Charizard, we'll be in Pallet Town in half an hour. And then we only have to deal with my mother."

"Thank you."

"And that better be a platonic flight back home to a platonic evening between you two!" Brock added, waving his finger at them, "Because you guys are not dating, okay?"

"That's it?" Misty asked, dumbfounded, and Ash had to nod in agreement. Tracey had already returned to digging at his pancakes.

"What were you expecting?"

"Well …" Ash fidgeted in his seat, adjusting his hat, "We just expected you to be more … uh …"

"Enthusiastic?" Misty offered.

Ash nodded. "Right."

Tracey shrugged, not looking away from his plate. "I'm sorry if I don't seem excited but it's hard to do over something I've known for a very long time."

Both of their faces heated up immediately, a little with embarrassment, a little with anger.

"Well, if you're so all-knowing–" Misty started hotly, but Ash placed a hand on hers.

"We understand," Ash said. All in all, he was relieved. He'd been prepared for the over-excitement, but that hadn't meant he wanted it.

"I'm unimpressed, actually," Tracey added between mouthfuls, as if the two of them hadn't said anything at all.

"Unimpressed?" they asked.

"Yeah." Tracey gestured at both of them with his fork. "I mean, you're both … twenty-three, right? I thought you would have been mature enough to admit your feelings ages ago. It took you thirteen years to grow up?"

"Hey!" Ash nearly jumped out of his seat, having to be held down by Misty. For all his years, he still wasn't able to take a jab at his maturity.

"C'mon, Tracey," Misty rolled her eyes, "You and I both know it's Ash's fault we took so long."

"Hey!"

Tracey's eyes flitted between the two of them, an eyebrow raised. He blinked a few times before moving to dig back into his pancakes.

"I take it back," he sighed, "You still haven't grown up."

"Well, it's not like we cared about your opinion in the first place!" Misty snapped back.

Tracey pursed his lips. "There rest my case."

"Wait, you guys are dating?"

"Uh huh," Ash grinned, puffing out his chest. He was aware of Misty hiding her face in her hands from the corner of his eye. He chose to ignore it.

Gary pursed his lips – he looked impressed. It made Ash's grin even wider.

"Now isn't that sweet?" he mused, "For how long?"

"Two and a half months," Ash answered proudly.

"It's not that long," Misty added, sounded completely bored.

Gary nodded, looking a little thoughtful. Ash hadn't meant to tell Gary about their relationship – they hadn't really thought to announce it to anyone outside of their families, Brock, and Tracey, whom they felt had a right to know. Other than that, they'd agreed to keep it on the down low. It wasn't that they weren't in a serious relationship; they just felt that once they brought it up, things would probably be different amongst some of their friends, and they didn't want that.

(Or at least, that's what Misty felt. Ash didn't understand how a relationship would make things any different.)

But of course, Ash finally had something that Gary had never managed to find for himself, so Ash just had to lord over him about it. How could he not?

Ash's fleeting feeling of superiority suddenly disappeared when Gary turned to face him with a glint in his eye – a glint that had never meant good things. For Ash in particular.

"Well, congratulations!" Gary grinned, slapping a hand on Ash's back and causing him to wince. "You two totally deserve each other."

"Thanks, Gary," Misty smiled.

Ash wasn't so trusting. "Yeah, thanks."

So far, so good. So when was Gary going to –

Gary snickered. "And I didn't mean that in a good way!"

There it was.

"So does that mean I have to get a girlfriend now, too?"

"Huh?"

Ash had once again let slip about his relationship, but it wasn't his fault this time. He'd bumped into Ritchie carrying a life-size stuffed Golduck that he'd bought for Misty on a whim – not because he was being romantic, but because he wanted to take a jab at her for not managing to evolve Psyduck after all this time. Ritchie had assumed he had bought the doll for himself. Ash couldn't let that slide.

"Well, we're pretty similar, aren't we? We have almost exactly the same pokémon teams, and we wear similar clothes. And we even do things around the same time. You did the battle frontier just after I did, you were in Sinnoh while I was in Kalos and vice versa, you win the Indigo Conference, I win the Silver Conference –"

"You didn't get through the Elite Four," Ash pointed out.

Ritchie frowned. "Thanks for the reminder."

"We're not the same, Ritchie. We're two very different people."

"I know that, but –"

"Who says we're the same?"

Ritchie kicked at the ground. "I met a bunch of people in Sinnoh who mistook me for you."

"Is that what this is all about?"

"And I met your friend … Iris? Unova Champion? She called me a little kid. 'Just like Ash,' she said."

Ash's eyebrow twitched. "I mostly tune Iris out."

"And –"

"Okay, that's enough! Do you want a girlfriend?"

"Not particularly. I mean, I haven't met anyone, and I don't really care …"

"Then don't get one if you don't want one." Ash shrugged. "I didn't really want a relationship either. It just happened. You can't force this sort of thing."

Ritchie gave him an odd look. "You know, you're a lot smarter than you look, sometimes."

"Thanks," Ash smiled, and then his face fell. "Wait a minute … what does that mean?!"

May burst into tears all of a sudden, with no warning or explanation whatsoever. It had caught everyone off guard, including Drew, who nearly jumped ten feet out of his seat.

"May?" He shook her shoulder gently, a little wary. "What's wrong?"

"Look at them!" May gasped out, gesturing to Ash and Misty. "They got together!"

Ash chose this moment to slowly shift away from Misty on the couch until there was a good arms length between them. He wasn't sure how the hell May had managed to catch on, but it really, really wasn't his fault this time. They hadn't done anything to draw attention to their new relationship status; they'd been very careful not to.

Max snorted. "They seem perfectly normal to me. What gave you that idea?"

"Are you together?" Drew asked, only glancing away from May for a moment.

Ash swapped a look with the redhead.

"Yeah," Misty sighed.

At that, May started sobbing even harder. The two of them watched in confusion as Drew rubbed her back and Max removed to better hide his face in his hands.

"She's just being melodramatic," Max murmured to them, quietly.

"Then why's Drew so worried?" Ash asked.

Max rolled his eyes. "He can't stand to see her cry, or something stupid like that."

"That's so sweet," Misty whispered. "Ash, isn't that so romantic?"

Ash scratched his head. It's not like he liked to see her cry, but he didn't get what the big deal about it was. He didn't like to see his mom cry, either. "Sure?"

May kept looking up at them, trying to speak but immediately burying herself back into Drew's shoulder again. She wasn't crying that much, Ash now realised – there was only the odd tear. Instead, May would just brush at the skin below her eyes and blink a lot.

"I'm just," May sniffled, once she managed to calm down enough to manage coherent speech, "so happy that … s-someone as hopeless as Ash can f-find someone!" She choked back a sob. "A-and it's all thanks to my hard work! Miracles do happen." Drew handed her a tissue, and she paused to blow her nose noisily. "And I-I'm the miracle worker."

"What hard work?" Misty half-whispered to Ash, knowing May wouldn't hear her.

"She didn't do anything." Ash pouted. "Why does everyone find it so hard to believe I can nail a girlfriend?"

"What do you mean, nail?"

"Uh … th-that's not …"

"Why didn't you say anything?!" May suddenly wailed out. "Ash, I thought we were friends!"

"W-we are!" Ash blinked. His eyes flitted toward his girlfriend again, who now looked very uncomfortable. May didn't respond; she kept crying into Drew's shoulder.

The man in question leaned in and whispered to Ash, "If she ever asks for a double date, please say no."

"Why?"

Drew stared at Ash for all of ten seconds, before leaning in towards Misty. "If she ever asks for a double date, please say no."

"Gotcha," Misty nodded.

Ash felt a tug at his sleeve, and turned to find Max calling for his attention. "Hey, Ash? Misty?" He nodded his chin towards his sister. "Will you guys please adopt me?"

"Aren't you eighteen?" Misty asked.

Max only shrugged, and Ash and Misty exchanged a look once more. Misty pulled out her pokégear.

"I can get us on a ship to Saffron in an hour," she muttered under her breath.

"Thank you."

Unlike May, Dawn couldn't stop laughing. She was clutching her sides, lying on Ash's couch in near foetal position, while Piplup carefully removed himself from the vicinity and left to bother Pikachu wherever he was sleeping. Ash could see tracks of something dark running down her cheeks – probably makeup. Occasionally, she would slap her thigh and start laughing even harder. To his right, Misty had her arms crossed, not looking the slightest bit amused.

It was a disaster zone.

"I'm sorry, this is just," Dawn breathed, heaving herself up so she was leaning on the armrest. She rubbed roughly at her eye, smudging the rest of the colour around her face. "This is just too much for me. I'm just …" She held her stomach and took a deep breath, exhaling as slowly as she could. "… Really happy that Ash finally found some –" With a snicker, she was gone again.

More incontrollable laughter, and Ash was getting more and more anxious by the minute – especially with Misty's glare boring into the side of his head.

"We should tell Dawn!" he'd told her in a moment of weakness, "May was pretty upset we didn't tell her."

"I'm not sure I want to tell any of your friends anymore," she'd said. Ash understood it to a certain extent – she barely knew any of his friends outside of Kanto, Johto, Hoenn and Sinnoh because the distance made it difficult. But still, didn't she trust him?

She shouldn't have trusted him. She was right. What had he expected, for Dawn to be supportive about his romantic endeavours?

"I didn't think," Ash muttered.

Misty's glare only grew fiercer. "You never do."

"Ow," Dawn said, interrupting them before he could bite back, "I think my stomach's starting to hurt."

"Do you want an ice pack?" Misty asked, and rose to her feet and left before Dawn could get a word in.

"Phew!" Dawn wiped the sweat from her brow. "Arceus, Ash, I can't believe someone's actually attracted to you!"

He scowled. "I don't see how that's so hard to believe."

"I mean …" She started snickering again, and Ash was sure she'd be out for the count. But she shook it off and muffled the last of it. "I'm happy for you but … it's you! I can't believe someone wants to date you. I can't believe you want to date someone!"

"I still don't see how –"

"I honestly thought the only thing you could think about is pokémon battles. Hold on, is that what you guys do on your dates?"

"No."

They did, sometimes. But Ash wasn't about to admit that now.

"Ohhhhh," Dawn tapped at her lip. "So you guys have taken it to the next level, eh? How does it feel, holding hands?"

"Hilarious, Dawn."

"How long have you guys been dating? Months? Surely you guys are holding hands by now."

Ash slunk into his seat. He wasn't going to respond to anything so silly. It wasn't like he was emotionally stunted or something; he was more than aware that there was more to an adult relationship than holding hands.

"Or are you two going at it like lopunny, then?"

He spluttered, rising out of his seat to yell something in anger, not quite knowing what he wanted to say, and sitting back down. "I refuse to answer that."

"So that's a no?"

"I'm not saying anything."

"A yes?"

"I'm not saying anything."

"Here's your ice pack," Misty said, handing it over to Dawn, and Ash felt like he'd never been happier to see her in his entire life.

I love you, he sent her silently with his eyes, but she barely spared a glance in his direction so it was in vain.

"Hey Misty," Dawn said, grinning up at her with a look Ash wasn't too happy with, "What's Ash like in bed?" Dawn frowned. "Wait … no, don't answer that. I don't want to know."

Misty's face flared red, and she turned to face Ash with a look that said she could probably skin him alive right there and then. "What did you do?"

"We're actually dating," Ash said, as he watched Misty weave around the seats towards the coffee bar. It was yet another inter-League meeting at some disgusting hour of the morning, and the Elite Four and Champions of all the regions had gathered together – more for the free barista-made coffee than for anything Charles Goodshow had to say.

The statement actually managed to draw Paul's attention enough that he turned to properly look at Ash. "And you're telling me this, why?"

Ash tightened his lips, throwing Paul a look to show he wasn't amused, before looking around the room again. He was only stuck talking to his old rival because Iris hadn't made an appearance yet and he needed to pass the time somehow.

"No, this isn't rhetorical," Paul said, gaining Ash's attention again. "You're telling me this, why?"

"Well …"

"I demand an explanation."

Ash shrugged. "I just thought you'd want to know. We're sorta friends, right?"

"We are not friends."

"Okay. Forget I said anything."

Now that they'd been together for over half a year, they decided it was okay to be a little more public about it. The honeymoon phase was over – they'd hardly had a honeymoon phase to start with – and things weren't so new and weird anymore. Ash almost felt like nothing in their relationship phased him; he was ready for any curveball it through at him.

Unless Misty somehow got herself pregnant. They didn't have the time to be parents.

He and Paul stood in silence, as they tended to end up doing any time they were in the same room. Interactions between them were never entirely positive, and Ash's first attempt at conversation today had told him he probably shouldn't bother.

Misty arrived with coffee for the three of them. Paul kept staring at her. It made Ash uncomfortable.

"So you're dating him?" Paul asked, nodding towards Ash like he wasn't even listening.

"Uh, yeah." Misty blinked. "Why?"

"You're romantically attracted to him?"

"Yes?"

Paul stared at her again, face completely void of expression in a way that was unnerving the both of them. Finally, he averted his stare and took a long sip of his flat white.

"Pathetic," he muttered, and walked away.

"Why I oughta –" She ended her sentence with a growl, holding her cup out to Ash. "Hold my latte."

"Misty, I don't think –"

"So is it true?" a voice asked behind them, and Ash beamed.

"Iris!" he grinned. "And … Cilan. What are you doing at a league meeting?"

"He came for the free coffee," Iris shrugged. Cilan didn't say anything. He was only looking at the younger couple, rubbing his chin.

"Okay. Good thing you got here, 'cause I was starting to get pretty bored."

"Is it true you guys are dating then?"

"Yeah," both Ash and Misty said without any hesitation this time. Iris was a friend, after all.

Iris squinted at Misty, and then at Ash, before waving a hand in the air. "Doesn't prove anything. You're still a kid."

"Hey!" Ash yelped, and Misty snickered.

"You tell him," she said, giving Iris a high-five.

Cilan suddenly gasped, and Ash gulped because he knew exactly what was coming next.

"WATER AND LIGHTNING," Cilan exclaimed, and Iris slapped a palm to her forehead.

"Here we go again …"

"THE TWO ANTIPODAL ELEMENTS OF NATURE THAT ARE FREQUENTLY AT WAR WITH ONE ANOTHER, WITH A TASTE SO VIOLENT AND TRANQUIL AND –"

"Please marry my brother, s'il vous plait!"

"Bonnie!" Ash took it upon himself to drag Bonnie away this time, leaving Misty laughing quietly.

"Bonnie, I thought we weren't doing this anymore!" Clemont chastised her as he pulled her to the side. She was a teenager now, and far too big for his aipom arm.

"It was just a little bit of fun," she said.

"You're too old for this."

"Don't be such a spoilsport!"

"Anyway," Misty interrupted, diffusing the tension, "I'm taken, so I can't marry your brother."

"She's very taken," Ash agreed quickly.

Bonnie looked between the two of them, eyeing each of Ash and Misty up very carefully. "Ohhhhh, so that's how it is."

"What's how it is?" Clemont asked.

"They're together. Can't you see?"

Ash knew that Clemont couldn't see. He didn't hold it against him though – it's not like Ash could have spotted it himself. "Oh. Right. Congratulations."

"Thanks," Misty smiled.

"When's the wedding?" Bonnie asked, and Ash suddenly felt very, very scared.

"Uh …" he coughed, "We haven't even been together a year. I don't think we're planning to get married any time soon." He looked at his girlfriend for confirmation, and she nodded.

"We've still got a long way to go."

"Oh." Bonnie frowned. "So … you guys haven't said s'il vous plait yet?" She sighed. "Well, I guess it's back to the drawing board …"

Even Ash wasn't sure what that meant, but he could see Clemont shaking his head.

"Can you guys adopt Bonnie so she can stop doing this?"

Serena screamed, causing both Ash and Misty to jump.

"I'M SORRY FOR SCREAMING SO LOUD," she yelled.

"Why are you screaming?!" Misty cried, raising her voice a little.

"YOU'RE ASKING ME WHY I'M SCREAMING?" Serena wrung her hands together, an odd not-quite-smile on her face. "IT WAS A SCREAM OF … UM, HAPPINESS. YES, HAPPINESS."

She screamed the entire thing out loud enough to nearly burst their eardrums, and it rendered Ash and Misty speechless.

"AM I BEING LOUD STILL?" Serena asked, pointing at her mouth. They nodded, and Serena closed a hand over her mouth.

"Sorry," she whispered, and Ash was sure he'd imagined it because he could barely hear her. His ears were still ringing.

Something at the very back of his mind had warned Ash not to ever tell Serena about his relationship with Misty. He was starting to think maybe this was the reason why.

"Are you alright, Serena?" he finally managed, and she nodded all too quickly.

"I'm fine! Ha ha ha! Really fine, I promise!" She started wringing out her hands more aggressively now, until she finally gave herself a pat down until she pulled her PDA out of her pocket. "Oh, would you look at the time? I have an important client to meet at the store!"

"It's eight p.m.," Misty pointed out.

"It's a late meeting!"

"You said you had the night off," Ash frowned.

"Silly me! I must've looked at the wrong day. See you!" And she was out of her seat and out the restaurant before he could protest.

"She's not normally that weird," Ash told Misty, turning towards her. "I don't know what got into her."

"It's not weird," Misty smiled, "I kinda get it."

"Get what?"

Misty rolled her eyes. "Never mind."