The Cheeseburger Betrayal

Another day, another hunt, another greasy burger joint. Dean leaned back in his chair, but resisted the urge to put his feet on the table. Peanut shells littered the floor. Cigarette smoke choked the air. A layer of sticky slime covered the tabletop.

None of it mattered. Shiny and polished or roach-infested, Dean didn't care. Whether they cooked all of their food out of a can, or made it from scratch with ingredients fresh from organic farms, it didn't change things. Some burgers were better than others, it was true. But beef is beef, and it was always good. Dean's mouth was watering just thinking about the dinner headed his way.

Sam plopped down in the chair next to him, and tossed a wax-paper wrapped sphere at him, accompanied by a cardboard carton of squishy fries. Sam had a plastic bowl full of wilted greens. He looked at it with a frown.

"Should've gotten a burger, brother." Dean unwrapped his burger and sniffed. Something wasn't right.

"They were out of the one you wanted, so I got you mushroom and swiss." Sam stirred half a container of dressing over his salad, coating the greens in creamy goo.

Mushroom and swiss? Always a good combination. Dean smiled at the burger, dripping with dark sauce, and opened is mouth for a bite.

Sour grease exploded over his taste buds. Globs of slime mingled with gristle assaulted his teeth. Crunch! A bit of bone lodged in one molar. Fake mushroom flavoring overpowered his nose with a putrid scent that washed all other taste away.

Blech!

Dean opened his mouth and spat the burger back out, glaring at the half-chewed mess of meat. He held one hand over his stomach as if to guard it from the offending thing lying on the table.

Sam stared, a bit of salad hanging out of his open mouth. He threw his head back and laughed so hard he nearly choked. "Should've had a salad, brother."

NOTE: This story is based on true events. My roommate came home one day and very graphically described the horrors of the burger she had bought for lunch, and the look on her face... It was too funny to watch (not that I find her pain amusing or anything) and I thought...that sounds like Dean.