Lonely

Summary: King Taejong is musing about his decisions in life.

King Taejong sits in silence while deeply thinking about the events that happened in his life. Some were hilarious, while others were depressing. His thoughts drifted from the moment he talked to his father on the topic of war to the moment he met Boon Yi, the only woman he loves, for the last time.

Then Moo Hyul appears in his mind.

The king can't help but smile bitterly, because even though both his love and his bestfriend left him, he still wishes them the best. Or at lest he lies to himself that he does.

At least, the moment he let them go, he found his momentarily peace.

It was the most right decision he has ever made his entire life. To let them go.

Sometimes he wonders what would happen if he didn't embark on this path, to become the owner of this country. Would he still be there, smiling and laughing beside his most beloved people? Would his world have a single shred of happiness left still?

But the question always has one answer. He knew what he wanted, he chased after it. There was no other way. No other thing he would prefer doing. He knew his ambition and himself. His inside is full of those disgusting worms, but he wouldn't do anything to kill those creatures. He would feed them full. He made sure of that a long time ago.

He could not effort to regret his action now, again, not ever.

Even if when he is alone in his room, thinking about the young brash girl who demands him to save her, in the past so long ago, and his eyes moistens, he can't let himself regret it. Even when he turns to his bodyguards and sees someone who doesn't have that goofy smile on their faces, he can't let his mind wonders what the bestfriend of his is doing now that he doesn't have to protect him. He can't effort to question his decision. He knew. He knows.

He knows that he would break, unmendable, and utterly pitiable. Unlike the man he believes himself to be, he still has a heart.

And he can't effort to show that to anyone. Not even himself.

He is alone.

He squeezes his hand, and stands up.