Detective Conan
Hearts and Minds Divided
By
sgamer82

The girl who had formerly been Ai Haibara, had once upon a time been Shiho Miyano before that, and now, in more peaceful days, went by Ai Kudo, sat on a stool in the Kudo household's kitchen. At the head of the kitchen counter stood her sister-in-law, Ran Kudo, nee Mouri, gathering the mixing bowls, cookbooks, and other necessities for today's endeavor. Directly opposite from Ai was her best friend, Ayumi Yoshida.

Ayumi fidgeted more and more as Ran brought out the cookware, betraying for excitement for today. Ayumi had reached the age where she realized giving chocolate out on Valentine's Day was now more than just obligation or a gesture of friendship. In fact, this Valentine's Day presented all sorts of possibilities to many of Beika Middle School's first year girls, and Ayumi had no intention of letting it pass her by. Ai enjoyed her friend's passion, even if she didn't share it.

With two of the girls in her home's kitchen being her daughters by law and adoption, Yukiko Kudo was supposed to be involved, too. She was instead spending her time in front of a high chair cooing over an infant who, once he learned to speak, would become the only creature alive who could call her "grandma" without risk to life, limb, or immortal soul.

"All right, girls," Ran said, starting their baking session. "Are we ready to start?"

"Yes!" Ayumi punched the air.

"Sure," Ai said.

Ran looked between the two girls with a bemused expression.

"There's a wider gap of enthusiasm than normal, here."

"That's because, unlike myself, Ayumi has a particular target in mind." Ai smirked across the counter at her friend. Ayumi responded by blushing, averting her eyes, and absentmindedly adjusting her glasses.

"Um… that is…"

"Oh?" Ran asked eagerly. "Who's the lucky boy? Is it Genta-kun or Mitsuhiko-kun?" Ran had a grin on her face as she teased Ayumi.

"What? No!" Ayumi shook her head. "That'd be like liking my brother!"

Ai winced on the boys' behalf, glad that they weren't present today. Neither Genta Kojima nor Mitsuhiko Tsubaraya still nursed the childhood crushes on Ayumi they once did. Whether they simply grew out of them or realized their feelings were unrequited, Ai had never possessed the nerve to ask. Either way, Ai was certain it would still have been a blow to hear Ayumi say that out loud.

"Then it must be that senpai from your literature club Acchan's mentioned," Yukiko suggested without turning to look at them. She was more focused on covering the baby's eyes wth her hands and asking "Where's obaa-chan?"

Ayumi's face turned redder but, after a brief, annoyed glance at Ai, nodded.

"Jo-Jouburou-senpai," she muttered softly. "He's the club president."

"Tell me all about him," Ran said.

While Ran and Ayumi gossiped, Ai started working. Hers was easily the biggest project, even if it was the least ambitious. She looked up after a moment to see Ayumi holding her phone up for Ran to see. Ayumi's blush had greatly diminished once Ran showed genuine interest and wasn't just teasing.

"He's quite handsome," Ran said approvingly as she looked at a picture of an awkward looking middle school boy.

"There's something, though. Almost familiar… I can't quite place it." Ran studied the photo intently, her eyes narrowing as she tried to figure out what she was seeing.

"Imagine him in glasses and a bow tie," Ai told her.

"Ai!" Ayumi yelled. Her blush returned in full force. Ran ignored the outburst, focusing on the photo. Her eyes widened and her mouth formed an O as realization dawned.

"I see it," Ran said. Then studied the picture more intently. "It's not really a physical resemblance. It's more the demeanor, the expression." Ran looked at Ayumi. "Ayumi-chan, I didn't realize you still felt that way about Shinichi."

"Not Shinichi-niichan," Ayumi objected. "Conan-kun."

Ran and Ai looked at each other before turning back to Ayumi.

"Um… Ayumi-chan…" Ran began. Ayumi waved her hands defensively.

"I know, I know. Shinichi-niichan and Conan-kun are the same person," Ayumi said, cutting off what Ran had been about to say. "But they're also not the same, y'know?"

"I'm thoroughly confused, so no," Ai replied.

"It's like… it's like…" Ayumi struggled to find a way to explain. "It's like I know in my head that they're the same, but my heart doesn't feel the same way about Shinichi-niichan that it does Conan-kun."

Ayumi shrugged. Ran and Ai looked at one another again. A voice piped in from the high chair.

"Imagine liking a character on TV but not the actor who plays him," Yukiko said, followed by "here she is" and a baby's laughter.

"That's it! Just like that!" Ayumi pointed excitedly at the living room. "Thank you, Yukiko-san." She looked at Ai and Ran. "So it's like that. Conan-kun is the first boy I ever liked. Shinichi-niichan is just a guy."

"So don't worry, Onee-san, your marriage is safe."

Ai's remark won a laugh from the direction of the high chair and unamused looks from her friend and her sister-in-law. Ayumi very pointedly turned away from Ai and looked to Ran.

"Are you making something for Conan-kun, Ran-neechan?" Ayumi asked.

"Yet you still call him 'Conan-kun'…" Ai muttered to no one in particular

"I will be, but today I'm baking treats for Shiro," Ran answered, gesturing to where her son was playing with his grandmother. Ai raised an eyebrow and looked to Ran.

"He's not even six months old," Ai pointed out.

"But he is about ready to try solid foods." Ran held up the cookbook she was using. "I got a book all about food you can make for babies. There aren't a lot of sweets you can make, really, but I found an idea or two I'd like to try."

Ran looked even more excited at the idea of making something for her boy than Ayumi did at making something for her boy. Ai smiled as she picked out the cookie cutters she wanted to use.

"Not going to use any of the hearts, Ai?"

Ai looked up at Ayumi.

"I assumed you two would want them." Ai replied. "I'm not doing anything as grand as either of you."

"You mean you really are just doing Cookies for Classmates again?" Ayumi asked. "There's no one you want to make something special for? At all?"

Ai's smile disappeared.

"We've been over this," she said. Then added, "Repeatedly."

"Is this the 'Minor Problem', again?"

Ayumi's roll of the eyes and finger quotations at the words "minor problem" made her opinion crystal clear. Yukiko turned away from her grandson, her attention now focused on Ai. Ai was frowning at Ayumi. This has become an ongoing source of disagreement between the two of them and, despite what they were doing, Ai felt it was neither the time nor the place

"Um…" Ran raised a hand to get everyone's attention. "Forgive me if I seem out of the loop, but what does Ayumi-chan mean by 'the minor problem'?"

Yukiko waved to Ai and gestured to herself. Ai shook her head and answered Ran's question.

"That's Ayumi's name for the irony that I am more than ten years older than any boy it would otherwise be socially acceptable for me to consider a romantic prospect."

"Says the girl who's done everything she can to forget the fact she's more than ten years older than her classmates," said Ayumi.

"As true as that may be," Ai conceded, "that doesn't mean I can just ignore certain realities."

"It's never stopped you before!" Ayumi retorted.

"This isn't the same thing as hanging out, playing games, or having a sleepover. Not when I'm an adult!"

Ayumi made a sound that left Ai gaping.

"Did… did you just snort at me?"

"Adults don't go on trips to the zoo with their papa every other month," Ayumi said. "Even if they did, they certainly wouldn't spend most of those trips entirely at the petting zoo." Ayumi pointed directly at Ai. "You are not an adult. You have not been an adult for a long time."

Ai's face went red. To the rest of the room, it was difficult to tell how much was embarrassment and how much was anger and frustration. A hand on Ai's shoulder cut off the angry response she had been about to unleash. Ai looked up and saw Yukiko standing behind her, giving her a reassuring smile before nodding at Ran. She had been watching closely as the two girls argued.

"I think I might see the issue," Ran said, glancing between the upset Ai and the now smug Ayumi.

"Willful ignorance?" Ai muttered. The hand on Ai's shoulder rose and gave her a soft slap on the cheek.

Ran walked to the high chair. Shiro Kudo, upon realizing his grandma wasn't entertaining him anymore, had begun to slap his hands on the high chair's tray to make noise and amuse himself. Ran lifted him up and held him directly in front Ayumi.

"I love you, Ayumi-neechan!" said a high pitched voice. All eyes went to Yukiko, who simply grinned. Ran shrugged and held her son closer to the middle school girl.

"When I grow up I wanna marry Ayumi-neechan!" Yukiko's impersonation said. Shiro obliged by holding his arms out to Ayumi, presumably trying to get hold of her glasses. Ayumi watched the baby for a moment, then her expression began to sink as she finally made the connection.

"Oh. Ohhh…" she said. "I… I think I get it now."

"I wanna kiss Ayumi-neechan," a slightly different version of the voice piped in.

"I said I get it!" Ayumi turned to Yukiko, only to find her glaring at Ai. The hand Yukiko had been resting on Ai's shoulder now clutched the top of her head in a vise grip. Ai looked quite uncomfortable. Whether Ai was being punished for taking things too far or stepping on Yukiko's lines, Ayumi was not certain. She'd discovered long ago such situations could go either way with those two.

"This is just like me with Shinichi-niichan and Conan-kun," Ayumi said as Ai was released. "No matter how much you think of us as friends and classmates, there's still a part that thinks we're kids and you're not."

Now free from Yukiko's grip, Ai nodded.

"That's… kind of insulting," Ayumi said after a moment, giving her friend a glare.

Ai shrugged, her expression uncharacteristically sheepish.

"If it helps, it's only on this matter I feel like that."

"Really?" Ayumi asked, with perhaps a tad more skepticism than necessary.

Ai nodded.

"I've long since come to the point where I have to consciously remind myself I'm twenty-three instead of twelve, when I bother to think about it at all. I've even caught myself sometimes needing to do the math to be sure." Ai sighed. "Yet when I think about relationships I can't help but remember my age. My original age. I don't plan to be some lonely spinster, so I'll need to deal with this eventually. But that won't be today." She grabbed one of the cookie cutters at random. "Today, I'm going to make some chocolate cookies for my friends, classmates, and clubmates and marvel in the fact that my friends and acquaintances number in double digits. Trust me, in my case that's an achievement in itself."

Ayumi took time to digest this. Ran didn't say anything, but with the point made she held baby Shiro closer to herself instead of Ayumi. Yukiko wrapped her arms around Ai. The only sound in the room for nearly a full minute was an infant's gurgling. Eventually Ayumi took a deep breath.

"I understand," Ayumi said at last. "I'm not sure I agree, but I understand and I'll stop bothering you about it."

"Thank you," Ai replied.

And that was it. The two resumed work their respective baking projects without another word. Above them, Ran gave Yukiko a questioning look. Yukiko smiled, let go of Ai, and shook her head. They weren't little kids that needed to be forced to apologize after every petty argument. Ai and Ayumi were both old enough, smart enough, and had been together long enough, to know when a sorry was needed and when it wasn't. Keep things from getting too heated and they could be trusted to work it out for themselves.

"Um…" Ayumi began hesitantly after a few minutes had passed. "Do you think I should apologize to Conan-kun for all those times I kissed him in first grade?"

"I think," Ran began, only to hesitate as she stifled what sounded suspiciously like a chuckle. "I think Shinichi understands."

Several hours later, everyone's work was rewarded. Ai had numerous small bags of chocolate cookies stored away to hand out. While the soft cookies Ran had baked were not chocolate, and tasted bland to everyone else, Shiro had loved them and eagerly gummed his way through the ones his mother had given him.

Ayumi Yoshida stood in the Kudos' front yard, a decorated bag filled with chocolates in her hands and ready to be stored until Valentine's Day arrived. Ai saw her out while Yukiko and Ran got the baby ready to take home.

"They turned out great," Ayumi said.

"They did, indeed," said Ai. She smirked. "Now all you have to do is work up the courage to actually give them to senpai."

Ayumi froze. Her body became tense and face turned red as the skyline was becoming as she imagined that scenario.

"I… I might need my Conan glasses for that…"

"Probably a good idea," Ai said, then chucked. Ayumi joined in and they shared a quick laugh before Ayumi's expression was the one to become serious.

"Hey, Ai, something occurred to me while we were working."

Ai raised an eyebrow. Ayumi, now understanding the touchiness of this subject, hesitated for a moment before continuing.

"Well… you're planning not to pursue a relationship, and I get why now," she added quickly. "But then I thought that White Day is right around the corner. It made me wonder: What happens when a boy confesses to you?"

"Well, first," Ai grinned, "thank you for saying 'when' and not 'if'. Second, if something like that does happen, then I would simply have to regretfully inform whoever it was that my parents have forbidden me to date."

Ayumi blinked.

"Did they actually do that?"

Ai nodded.

"Seemed the easiest way to dodge that issue. What nobody else will know is they're perfectly willing to relax they prohibition whenever I ask."

Ayumi nodded. She was coming to realize that Ai and her family had given this far more thought then she had herself.

"But you will ask?" Ayumi said. "Someday?"

"Yes. Just don't get your hopes up on it being anytime soon. I'm not even considering it until high school, at the earliest. I'm hoping by then the age gap between my peers and when I changed originally should be narrow enough I can push past my hesitation."

"Good," Ayumi said. Then she grinned and pushed up the bridge of her glasses in the manner all wearers of glasses use when they want to look impressive. "Just remember, when you are ready, don't be afraid to ask me for help. I'll be here to offer my kouhai in love the benefit of my experience like a good senpai should."

"Kou-" Ai shook her head and laughed. "You are going to lord this over me for as long as you can, aren't you?"

The very Ai-like smirk spread across Ayumi's face as she walked out of the gate gave all the answer Ai needed. Once Ayumi was out of sight, Ai went inside, closed the door, and sighed.

This is going to be a long adolescence…

Author Notes:

This story is one I've had in mind for a long time, though it became a very different creature in the process of writing. The plot turned more into teaching Ayumi why Ai had a few issues in this area than what I'd originally intended, which was having Ai realize just how far into her second childhood she'd gone without even noticing.

The centerpoint would have been Ai realizing that she identified with her younger age more than her original age. While Ai barely acknowledges it here, my original concept was to have that be a more mind blowing revelation to her after making a Freudian Slip and referring to herself as twelve when she'd clearly meant twenty-three. This would have left Ai realizing not even she saw herself as an adult any longer and wondering just when that had happened.

However, as I wrote the story, things became more Ayumi-centric. The lead up to that moment was built upon Ayumi, as she did here, not quite fathoming why Ai would avoid relationships with boys their own age. Ai's slip up would have occurred while trying to explain. As I wrote, it occurred to me that trying to insert that scene would have been more forced than I wanted so I decided to focus on the Ayumi angle.

For similar reasons, I left out mention of Mitsuhiko. Originally there had been either a scene explaining or flashback showing that Mitsuhiko figured this whole thing out long before Ayumi and that he and Ai had long since hashed that out between themselves. The reasoning would have been similar to how it clicked for Ayumi: a past case involved helping a lost preschooler find her mother and spend all the time until then clinging tightly and affectionately to him or Genta. That would've ended in Ai saying that she might be more open to the idea come high school, if he was still interested.

Ultimately I'm only a little disappointed with how things turned out. I'm satisfied with the story itself and I'm pleased with the "hearts vs minds" theme I wound up with, where knowing something intellectually was not the same as actually understanding it and vice versa. I do feel I missed out on using the idea I'd come into this wanting to do, but this story doesn't preclude me from using it anyway down the line if I can work out how.