Chapter 1: Teleported to Rose Creek

Hello, I'm mostly known for A New Beginning for RED (#advertisement). Now this is the 2016 version of the Magnificent Seven, so hope you enjoy.

Teufort: RED Base

We start off by seeing a certain Texan hard at work on what seems to be a upgraded teleporter. He had his Eureka Effect, Jag, and the Stock Wrench, all being used. He also had a flamethrower for welding, a Third Degree for cutting metal, a Necro Smasher for obvious reasons, a Sandvich, and a beer for his lunch. He had on his Hot Rod and had on two of his rubber gloves on.

"Almost finished with my teleporter", Engineer said as he was currently eating lunch. He heard some knocking at the door, well more like pounding. Engineer took out his Frontier Justice and opened the door. He opened it only to find a shotgun to his face, and in a split second all he saw was black.

30 minutes later…

Engineer woke up, only to find himself in Medic's lab. He was about to get up when Medic walked in. "Oh I see you are awake, sorry about Soldier, I asked him to come get you", the doctor said nervously.

Engineer was not amused, he sighed, "Thanks anyway doc for reviving me, and please tell me my teleporter is okay". Medic laughed awkwardly and began to tell the story.

30 minutes earlier

"You dummkopf, I asked you to come bring him to me, not to blow his head off", said a very pissed off Medic. "I thought something happened to my fellow American, so I had my shotgun ready", Soldier said in his normal, patriotic attitude.

"I'll go fix him up.., oh and I forgot I used my last healing device", Medic said really pissed off. "Do not worry Engie, your fellow Americans will finish what you started", Soldier said in his patriotic attitude again.

He then yelled for Scout, the Boston Bast… I mean Maniac, ran over while drinking a can of BONK! Monster Energy. "What the hell do ya need Soldier", he said as his usual self. Soldier then dragged him into Engie's Lab. He grabbed a wrench and handed the Jag to Scout.

"WE WILL FINISH THIS FOR YOU ENGIE", he yelled as he furiously hit the teleporter with the wrench. Scout continued to drink his but got distracted by Engineer's half eaten Sandvich. "Well one side is still good", he said as he tore off the good end and at it, he knocked over his BONK! in the process and it spilled onto the the Teleporter.

Soldier was now hitting the teleporter with the wrench and Eureka Effect. Scout finished the Sandvich and started to whack it too. Scout whacked it for 5 minutes and then left to go for a run. Soldier was still there, whacking away, since this is how Engineer usually built teleporters.

Back to the present

Engineer was furious, he ran out of the room and got to his Lab as fast as he could. All he saw was Soldier still whacking away and saw his teleporter was actually looking pretty much finished. "Soldier!", he yelled, the American Pyscho turned around and saluted his fellow American. "I am sorry for killing you, but do not worry I have been hard at your Engineer duties".

"Thanks partner but I'll finish it up from here", the Texan said. He started to tighten up some screws with his wrench and he opened up a locker. He took out a power cell made by Doctor Gordbort, the same power cell used for things like the Cowmangler 5000. He placed it on a table and took out small chunk of Australium. He opened up the lid on the cell, he then modified his gunslinger to extend the hand he did ever so carefully drop the Australium in the canister and quickly sealed it.

He wiped his brow and placed the cell into the middle of the teleporter, a the machine clamped around the canister. Engineer then hit it with his wrench and it activated, it was louder and had a green tint to the energy coming from it. Engineer maniacally laughed and packed up the creation.

"Hey boys, guess what I made", he said as his co workers looked up from what they are doing. "What new toy did you build little man", said the Heavy as he was beating Medic in a game of chess. "Well let me show ya", he said as he placed down his tool box and hit it with his wrench. It built up and activated. "I call it, the Level 4 Teleporter: Prototype and if we just think where we want to go it will bring us there", he said in one of those voices you'd hear when any smart guy builds something new. "So what does it do, besides looking like what I yacked up early", said the Demoman as he took a swig of his whiskey.

"It will let the intelligence teleport with us, since it has tech in the darn case that prevents regular teleporters from teleporting it", the mercs who cared gave a round of applause. "And it's a two way", he said since it's an added convenience. "But it's a prototype so we need a test subject", Engie said.

Scout ran to Engie's room and grabbed his Texas Ten Gallon, painted Radigan Conagher Brown. "How bout this", Scout taunted with Engie's prized hat. "Give that boy, my daddy gave that to me", he said as he tackled Scout and Started beating the shit out of him. In the process the hat descended to the teleporter and it materialized away from them. It was Engineer's most prized possession, and it was the hat his dad gave to him, it made him feel like a real Cowboy.

"So who's goin afta him", said the Scout, sicne he realy didn't give a shit. The mercs looked really pissed at him. "How about you", said the Heavy, as he, Soldier and Demoman grabbed Scout and threw him into the portal, the others proceeded.

A Desert near Rose Creek

The Nine basically dog piled into the teleporter so they all landed on the ground, worse than in a game of twister. They eventually got out of their predicament and were wondering where the fuck are they. Engineer felt strangely at home here, and he said, "Boys, I think we're lost in time", as he pointed to the old timey town.

Scout said, "Alright in these times there have to be some old timey clubs so I'm gonna bounce on over there", he said as he eagerly looked at the town. Spy grabbed Scout by shirt and slapped him, "Oh come on, my son should be smarter than this, you can't go into town like that, it's too modern", said Spy.

The boys pulled out crates from their inventories, they tried to find cosmetics that would let them pass off as people from this time.

Engineer put on his Texas Ten Gallon, his Support Spurs, and his Texas half-Pants, he also ditched his goggles and put on black gloves on both of his hands. He had his Frontier Justice and his Semi-auto pistol.

Spy had on his Fancy Bandit, Dancer's Dress, and a Mysterious Gunman, with out the gunman. He ditched his mask but kept his watches ,disguise kit, Big Kill and the rest of his revolvers, just incase anyone needs one.

Scout had on his Bootenkhamuns, Baan-Britches, and the Checkered Chump. He ditched his bandages, hat, and headset, he also had only his stock scattergun, Flying Guillotine, Sandman, and Spy's Stock Revolver.

Heavy had on his Soviet Gentleman, Bruiser's Bandana (Painted White), and his Apparatchik's Appearance. He took a Brass Beast, a Force-A-Nature, and his Warrior's Spirit.

Soldier had on his Hat With No Name, Patriot Patches, and Cold Front Curbstomp. He was smoking a cigar, and took with him only his shotgun and shovel.

Sniper was wearing his Tunic, Huntsman Essentials, and his Teufort Tooth Kicker. He took his Huntsman, and the Ambassador.

Medic had on his Grimm Hat, Das Franzipatzen, and Gater Guards. He kept his medigun hidden, took his bones, and the Enforcer from Spy.

Demoman had on his Frontier Djustice, Demo's Dusctratcher, Grenaider's grips, the Eyelander, and Spy's l'etranger.

Pyro dressed up in his Old Guadalajara, Cute Suit, and El Muchacho. He carried his shotgun, some lighter fluid, and some matches.

The mercs left the rest of their weapons since they were too modern and would try to have a low profile. Spy felt awkward about this but he would try to spend time with his son, since he kinda felt some guilt for leaving him, I mean his son turned into a tucking asshole, even though Scout denied it, he put his arm around Scout and said, "Want to hit a saloon my boy".

Scout swatted his arm away and said, "Why do ya want to see a hair place, and I'M NOT YOUR SON". Spy face palmed and said, "A saloon is a old timey club, and there's one in town". Scout lit up and said, "Race ya there", Scout kicked up dust and Spy followed.

Engineer was walking around and found a piece of metal in the sand. He grabbed a hold of it and it seemed to look like a Colt Single Action Army. Engie almost squealed, he went to the teleporter and set up his tool kit. He then got to work restoring the Colt Single Action Army, he even found a lever action rifle which he was cleaning for Sniper.

30 minutes later

He restored the old wheel gun and the lever action rifle. He even used his Mann CO. adaptation ammo to load the guns. Sniper was more than happy to have another gun but kept his Huntsman for backup. Engineer traded his Semi-Auto pistol for the Colt SAA since we all know revolvers are cooler than the boring Semi-Auto.

Heavy was chewing on his Sandvich and Demo was bitching and moaining about getting Spy's 'worst gun', "Why do I get this piece of crap", said the Scott as he talked to his sword. "Why are you asking me, Hell if I know", responded the ghost blade. The 7 mercs went on to the saloon where Scout and Spy went.

The saloon

Spy and Scout were playing cards with a man called Josh Faraday and some other low lives at the table. "You're pretty good at this Mr. Fancy Britches" said Josh as he finished his whiskey. "Not too bad yourself Mr. Faraday", said Spy as he started another game.

So much money was on the table as Spy and Scout were up against Josh. They milked some of the other men dry from their earnings. "Don't worry pally at least ya know you lost to me when ya go home broke, ain't that right ladies". The women nodded as they gave Scout and Josh massages.

The door flew open as all the other 6 mercenaries walked in, they then sat at the table Spy and Scout were at. Some people gave them looks, since they were with a 7'5 guy with a fucking gatling gun. "Big family you got there", said Faraday as he set up the cards. The mercs chuckled a bit, they then drank and had conversation.

Suddenly a black man in a black cowboy get up came into the bar, doors flew right open. The room fell silent as he walked into the room and went to the bar tender.

The people with guns tensed up and tighten their grip on the weapons. Demo walked in and the rooms till silent. "Aww come on, are you guys racist too", said Demoman as he walked towards his friends.

Spy went to investigate so he went to where the mysterious man was and sat a few seats away from him. The man was armed with a Silver Colt SAA, the gun was backwards. He then slid some money on the table towards the bar tender. "A shot of Bust Head", he said.

"We don't carry that kind Cowboy", said the bartender. "Well then I'll have a double", said the man as he slid over some money. The bartender then got him a shot glass and and a bottle of his drink.

"What's this for", said the bartender since the black man out way more than he should of. "Information", said the man.

"Looking for a man, about your size", he said. "The name his momma gave him was Daniel Harrison, but sometimes he's goes by the name Potter Dan, the man continued. The bartender tensed up from that name.

"Killed a lieutenant and his son in cold blood, stole his plow horse, his wife tried to intervene, took advantage and killed her too", the man said. "Never heard of him", said the bartender.

The man continued, "Well like I said he goes by different names, he has a bullet scar on his left shoulder right there…", he pointed to where the scar would of been on the bartender.

"Now Potter Dan ran with an outlaw by name of Juli Bully, may he rest in peace", the man said. "How'd he die", asked the bartender, "I whispered this into his ear". The mysterious black man whispered a tune in the bartender's ear. The people with guns started to pull the hammers back and tensed up, some even having the grips of their revolvers so they can fire.

A man was about to pull out his revolver when the black pulled out his gun quickly fanned the hammer in his the arm. He then shot the snipers at the top floor. He then then shot a guy with a double barreled shotgun in his foot. He then turned to the bartender, who was already sweating and had his hands up.

"Calm down Mr., I have a family", said the man as he reached for a double barreled shotgun in a compartment of his table. "They're better off without you", said the black man coldly as he shot the bartender before he could reach for his gun. He fell immediately to the ground, breaking whatever glass bottles and cups he had with him. "Dan you dead…pity I was about to order a drink from that man", said Josh as he finished his drink.

The room was silent and everyone were just eyeballing, and the only sounds in the room were the grunts of pain from the gunmen. Our mercs were ready to kickass if they needed too and Spy was tense, wanted to reach for his gun but he knew it would be too risky.

Spy got up and reached for his Big Kill, the black man shot Spy in the shoulder but he took it like a man and held the black at gunpoint. Spy then felt a gun pointing to his stomach. Both just stayed there for a while until the man broke the since, "Well what are ya'll waiting for, get the sheriff".

Almost everyone evacuated, the only ones who were left were the mercs, Josh, and the mysterious man in black. Spy and the man let each other go, but by the time they took their guns off of each other, they heard a lout of voices and saw many armed citizens with guns pointed at the door. "Excuse me gentlemen, I'll handle this", said the man as he walked out of the saloon.

He had his hands up and saw an army of citizens with Remington's, shotguns, Colt SAA's, and all kinds of lever action rifles. The black took out a yellow piece of paper and gave it to a mustached man with a rifle pointed at him.

"My name is Sam Chisholm, I'm a sworn warrant officer from Wichita, Kansas, also a licensed peace officer in all Kansas, Nebraska, and several other states", Sam said as he then pointed to the bartenders corpse. "And that there is Potter Dan, wanted man", he then walked off.

The sheriff and some deputies went to check the corpse and found it was the spitting image of the wanted man on the paper. The mercs then finally left the bar, Engineer then saw Sam Chisholm riding on his black horse while a redheaded woman and a another man were trying to talk to him.

"Please sir, this man named Bouge tried to mine our valley and take it from us, we're decent people, being slaughtered in cold blood", said the woman, "I'm sorry Miss Emma but I should be going", sad Sam as he tried to avoid her. Emma then took out a satchel and threw it in front of Sam so he went to grab it. He saw it had a lot of valuables.

"It's everything that's valuable to us", said Emma as she trained to Sam. "Now I've had people who give me a lot for my work, but not everything", said Sam. He agreed or do the job for her. "Now I spotted some men that I think are good for the job, and I see one of them now.

Engineer ran over to them and asked, "Sorry to bother you but where are we". "We're in Rose Creek, I assume you're new here", said Emma. "I guess you can say that, said Engineer.

"Now what's your name sir", asked Sam. Engineer didn't know what to say but he didn't think anything would happen that much if he just said his real name. "The names Dell Conagher Mr. Chisolm", said Engie. "Well Cha you see if your friends want to help us out to save this town", said Sam. Engineer then when to find his friends so they can help.

Outside the saloon

Josh Faraday was just walking out off the saloon, he had a lot of cards, some money that was left, and took a huge bottle of whiskey. He just took his last sip when he heard the hammer of a revolver pulled back. He turned only to see a man of his past. "Man Billy, is that you, you look awful", said Josh. "People don't call me that anymore, I'm now known as, The Two Gun Kid", said The Two Gun Kid.

He and his brother then leaded Josh to a mine. He stopped their, leaving the two pissd off. "Into the mine Faraday", said Two Gun Kid. "Now you can rob, you can kill, but I will not go in that mine, there's rats in there", said Josh as he still had his hands up. "You're going in that damn mine, after cheating me out of 50 dollars in a card game", said The Two Gun Kid.

"The Two Gun Kid, so they call you that because you got two guns", said Josh jokingly as he was leaded to somewhere by the brothers. "Just keep walking Faraday", said The Two Gun Kid, not amused by Josh's banter.

"I assure you that I don't need to cheat to beat the likes of you two", said Josh as the the brother readied their gun to shoot him down. "Gentlemen allow me to show you something quite peculiar…"Faraday said. "Just show us our money Faraday", The Two Gun Kid interrupted. "Now calm down, you'll get a real hoot out of this", said Josh as he took out a deck of cards. "Now come on Billy, you know I like magic", said his brother.

Billy hesitantly took the took a card, "Good, now keep the gun trailed on me", said Josh, taunting Billy. Now commit it to memory and don't let me see it. Josh now was doing some card things and finally pulled a card from the middle. "And your card", said Josh confidently. "You're no magic man", said the brother. "Oh but it has been here all along", Josh said as he pulled the card from his sleeve. "That was actually pretty good", said the brother.

Josh pulled out a snubnose Colt SAA, but Billy saw this and was about to shoot when he heard a gunshot go off. It hit his brother right in the head. He saw it was Spy and Scout. "We got ya back Josh", said Scout as he downed the rest of the whiskey bottle Josh had. "Hands up, partner", Spy said as he pointed his smokin Big Kill at the Two Gun Kid.

Josh quickly grabbed Billy and put his snub nose revolver under Billy's head. "Y-you killed my brother...please don't kill me", said Billy, shakingly. "Do you want to see another magic trick", said Josh. He then moved the gun slowly to his ear. "I call this one, the Disappearing Ear", he said then shot Billy's ear.

Billy heard a loud ring and dropped to the ground and held his year in pain. "We will never cross paths again", said Hosh coldly as he aimed his gun.

"No, don't kill him, it's more cruel to left him suffer", Spy said as he shot the bastard in his other ear. Josh looked at Billy and said, "We didn't have to kill him, but he touched my guns".

"Thanks for the save, what are ya names", asked the gambler as he grabbed his guns and proceeded to unload the lever action rifle. Spy then grabbed the two Colt SAA's that belonged to The Two Gun Kid.

"My name is Adnet Gaillard and this is my son Jeremy Gaillard", said Spy as he then stopped Scout from saying that Spy's not his dad. "Alrighty then, say I gotta go get my horse, you wanna come with", asked Josh as he reloaded his snub nose revolver.

"Sure it's kinda boring here anyways", Scout said and Spy nodded in agreement.

Back to Sam Chisholm

Sam Chisholm was waiting for Engineer to come back with his buddies. "They're taking too long, Bouge ain't gonna stop for anyone", said Emma as she was wiping the sweat from her brow. "Now now, I saw like 9 of them so he might be a while longer", said Sam as tended to his black horse, he must like black.

He then saw Engineer coming back his friends. "Hello gentlemen, I'm Sam Chisholm, a sworn warrant officer from Wichita, Kansas, also a licensed peace officer in all Kansas, Nebraska, and several other states", said Sam as he shook each mercs hand.

"Who is pretty woman", said Heavy since he's into redheads. "I'm flattered sir, but nows not the time", said Emma. "I work for her, were gonna take back Rose Creek from a yellow belly coward named Bartholomew Bouge, and I was wondering if you guys would like to contribute to our noble cause", said Sam Chisholm.

"I will crush evil man"

"We will take him down, FOR AMERICA"

"Aye, let's show em what real men are"

"Them wankas won't even see us comin"

"MMMPPPHHHH"

"We'll give a good texas lickin"

"It vill be good to them ze hurting"

"I see we've come to an agreement, now come one we gotta make it to a far part town before dawn, I got another person we can recruit ", said Sam as he got on his horse. "Ya'll got horses", asked Emma as she and Teddy grabbed their horses. The mercs went wide eyed as they looked at each other.

Something caught Engineer's eye as he grinned, then his friends saw what he ws looking at and saw 7 bandits, they had some gun's, and a big sack of money, typical western bandits.

5 minutes later…

Most of the merc's had horses, except for Heavy, I mean he's already heavy enough but he carries a damn gatling gun with him too. Medic couldn't inject it with a strength needle since the horse was too thin. Plus it would look a little off if a horse wa snake to carry that much.

So heavy just followed them, he was running to catch up, it was for him though. As he was the bulkiest and carrying a Gatling gun made him slower. While they were taking it slow on a gravel path Sam finally asked a pretty obvious question. "What are ya names exactly, I know you Dell, but what about your compadres and that thing in the mask", asked Sam. The mercs were a little hesitant but they were in cowboy times and Engineer gave his real name already.

"Mikhail Sokoloff"

"Hunter Mundy"

"Josef Ludwig"

"John Doe"

"Tavish DeGroot"

"This here is Jose' Diaz", said Engineer as he removed its mask, revealing half of it's burnt face, I mean hair is off scars and everything, it didn't talk, and you really only saw the top part of it's face, since it was wearing the Cute Suit.

"Well alright then , guessing some you guys are foreign from your accents and names," said Sam as he kept riding.

Our cowboys, but there's a girl, so we'll go with cowpeople I guess. They finally made it to their destination, only to see Josh, Spy, and Scout, with a Irish midget.

The haggling with a leprechaun and a gambler

"So I'm a bit low on funds right now so…", said Josh. "I told you, your horse for my Irish Whiskey, and you're not getting back your horse," said the Irishman as he reached for his gun. "Woah why did you reach for your gun, we are having a civil conversation here", said Josh as he reached for his gun.

"I guess we got ourselves a Mexican standoff, but the question is who's gonna walk out of it", said Josh as the two glared at each other. Scout then grabbed the Irishman and put him in a choke hold. "Alright Josh, I'll hold him down while you beat his leprecon ass. "Oh you idiots", sighed Spy as he was checking for the sheriff.

"Excuse me gentle, I think we can settle an agreement", said Sam as he pulled out a sack of money he had. Then the mercs, Emma, and Teddy started walking up from behind to show an awesome moment that could be a screen saver.

Well here ya go, now sorry if this was a little boring. Hope you guys agree with me using the 2016 movie. You guys can give me criticism, if it helps me be better, and we'll see some more action and what's funny is that some of the mercs can actually relate and be friends with some of them, and even help the plot. Well that's all for now, adios amigos.