"Aren't you lucky?" Ignis asked mockingly.

Prompto was out of sorts, shifting and wiping his face as he arose in the shaded tent. "Wha-huh?"

Ignis's reaction was much more composed than that of Gladio who couldn't wait to let Prompt have a piece of his mind. The muscular man bent over and shoved the blond in the arm. "Get the hell up, lover boy."

"Owww!" Prompto squawked, clutching his arm and glaring at his assailant. His cry was loud enough to make a still slumbering Noctis turn in his sleep. The young man's eyes then shifted to Ignis. "Wait why am I lucky?" Within seconds, a reason came to him, the cause for why the two were both mocking him. Hesitantly, his light blue eyes shifted down at his groin. A raging hard-on stood proudly, angling all the way up to the bottom of his belly button. The head glistened with fresh fluid, the rest of the discharge yet to be seen.

"To have the lovely Cindy visit you two nights in a row. I'd say you've been pretty fortunate, wouldn't you say, Gladio?" A smirk played about the English man's lips as he poked fun.

"DON'T answer that!" Prompto ordered forebodingly. He wiped at the semen coating his bare stomach, the product of the wild wet dream he had of his grease monkey goddess, the one and only, Cindy. It was always an intense pleasure to have her grace him in the night even if it be only in his imagination, but it was the absolute worst to have to wake up to the guys in the morning. This had been the consecutive morning. Noctis didn't seem to mind all that much whenever it happened since he was guilty of it too, but Ignis found it quite humorous, while Gladio just found it plain annoying.

"Well why don't you get lucky while we're not all squeezed up in a tiny tent together?" Gladio groused. For a second he watched Prompto make a feeble attempt at trying to position his tumescence back in his underwear, but not for too long did he look.

That's right, Prompto was still very hard, and up until that moment, the smooth, glossy tip of his penis had been peering out of his briefs. During the night, he had stripped himself of all his clothes due to the heat. They all did that on occasion. It was accepted; of course it was, except when nocturnal emissions occurred.

After failing to put himself back in his underwear, he turned to the others—the ones who were awake. "Uh, can you guys step out for a sec so, you know, I can finish myself off?"

Ignis gave a scoff, "With the prince as your encouragement?"

"N-no!" He didn't know what he was saying, for a moment there, he had forgotten that the prince was still in the tent sleeping. "I mean, it'll be real quick. He's not going to even notice. I just hate to wake him….for this…y'know?"

"Yes, I know. I was just teasing. He would never wake up to a ruckus like that anyway. Just don't be too long….or too messy." The last of his words were sharp and ominous which made Prompto double think just how he was going to go about this.

"O-kay thanks."

Gladio couldn't get out of the stuffy tent fast enough, while Ignis gave the other one last look; and the prince as well, before he exited their tight sleeping quarters.

"This shit is really getting old!" The larger man vented once they were on the other side of the camp and far enough so that the youth couldn't hear them.

Ignis wore a carefree expression. "Ah, to be so young… and so full of life. You should cut him a break every now and again. Let him enjoy his youth."

"Look, we're pretty young too but you don't see us popping boners and jizzing all over ourselves every night." Gladio rephrased, refusing to make excuses for the immature blond.

The spec wearing man paused for a moment. "When you think about it, it's only natural. The journey we're on leaves little room for us to take proper care of ourselves. I'm sure we've all had wood in the morning, the cause being sexual or otherwise, at some point while sleeping together. And I can recall a certain someone's morning wood getting a little too friendly with my backside one memorable daybreak." He crossed his arms, raising an eyebrow as he sent him a playful smirk.

Gladio scratched his head in embarrassment, remembering said morning. He was really horny that night and all day. The heaviness he felt down there hadn't ebbed until he had gotten some time away long enough and private enough to jerk himself off. "Ah, I gotta pee." The big guy dismissed the conversation and walked away to relieve his bladder.

Ignis stood there and shook his head. He watched Amicitia stroll far enough away so that he couldn't obviously see him urinate, but close enough for Ignis to hear everything.

The big man really didn't have any shame. He peed wherever, took off all his clothes and jumped in lakes, he even took dumps right where his comrades could see him if the wilderness was dangerous enough. But somehow, if it were Prompto doing all those things, throw in having midnight boners, morning wood and nocturnal emissions, it was a crime. At times, Gladiolus couldn't pick on the kid enough.

It seemed like there was no end to Gladio relieving himself. And Ignis listened intently, finding nothing wrong with it since he knew the man would just walk right back over to him when he was finished. He took note of how the urine sloshed onto the ground as though the man were emptying a large water bottle. Of course that also meant that the appendage he was pissing from was rather large if it made such an echo. He noticed that when the other guys went, it only made a subtle trickling sound coming from them, but when Gladio did, it was noisy and it took him a while to stuff himself back in his pants. From briefly seeing him do that on the side of the road from the car one time, he knew the man was big. What confirmed it was that first morning the man had presented him with wood, unaware in his sleep of course. And of course, all the times he paraded around the guys in the nude. He knew it, and yet…during that moment it was more painfully obvious than ever. He felt the earth quaking from beneath his shoes as the great Gladiolus took his thunderous leak.

It wasn't that he was particularly interested in Gladio. After traveling with the lot for weeks on end, he began to observe many different traits, idiosyncrasies, habits, and anatomic structures of them all.

For instance, there was Prompto, a young man whom he hadn't known all that well previous to their journey outside of the crown city. He observed that the blond acted much younger than his age. At times his personality ranged from age 5-20. He preferred sitting in the front seat to the back, enjoyed taking photos, playing kings knight and eating curry. Promto was really sensitive about messing up his hair and had excellent hygiene. He also had a case of attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder, never focusing on one thing for too long at a time before he was distracted by something else. The same went for women as well. As soon as he developed an obsessive, unfounded love for a girl, he was quickly seduced by the next one, coveting her equally as much as the others. The only way Ignis could see him in a relationship was if it were an open one.

Noctis on the other hand, would rather sleep in the back of the car and catch some sleep if anything. He didn't favor driving. One thing he learned about the prince after leaving the city was his love of fishing. All the other things about him he already knew, like how lazy, awkward and messy he was, how much he hated getting up in the morning, his aversion to vegetables, and the strange fact that he was apathetic to almost everything and everyone. He was quite the piece of work for a prince. But despite all that, he was skilled with a blade, thanks to Gladio, and a looker to boot, thanks to his father. Ignis had also learned of the close bond Noctis and Prompto shared. And one other thing was…Noctis's endowment, or lack thereof. Not that it mattered, but the prince was a little bit below average at best, not that it mattered….

Then there was Gladiolus. The most noticeable thing about him was how comfortable he was in his own skin, going shirtless in public places and always man-spreading in his tight leather pants. He was also open in the way of sharing just what he needed to do in the bathroom, announcing that he had "take a leak" or "squeeze out a loaf". Women were a weakness for him as well, but not in a juvenile, undeveloped way like Prompto. Gladio actually knew how to talk to women and he wasn't shy about it either. It was so painfully so to Ignis that the man simply oozed masculinity. He loved his red meat, working out, protecting, dominating and of course, women. But more than anything his dick was big. For the life of him, Ignis couldn't keep that one thing from monopolizing him mind!

"Ignis, 'ey!" Gladio trotted back over. "You think he's done yet?"

He pushed his glasses up and looked back over to the tent. "Possibly…" It was in that moment that the both of them heard a voice yell Prompto's name.

It was the prince.

Without even giving it a second thought, the prince's shield and personal advisor ran over to address his cry of distress.

"Ugh! Prompto!" Noctis was hastily wiping something white off of his face and his shirt.

"I am SO SORRY!" Prompto aided in cleaning him up just as haphazardly.

"What do we have here?" Ignis made himself known first out of the two of them, looking into the tent. They didn't dare go in.

Prompto looked up, sunlight peering in through the opening of the tent, "See… what….had happened…was…!"

Gladio made a disgusted groan. "Ugh, either you're a fag or you're just that stupid."

"Hey, easy with the defaming names." scolded Ignis.

"Look, this is just a sign that it's time to get up, sleeping beauty." Gladio directed his statement at Noctis. He really didn't feel all that much sympathy for him since he should have been woken up.

"Ah, yes." Ignis agreed. "Lest we have your little friend make too much of a mess of you than he already has." He was referring to the way Prompto was rubbing cum into the slippery fabric of his friends outfit. Ignis also meant his comment in a sexual way, but he was sure that none of them caught on to that.

Once they were out of the tent, Prompto was dressed and Noctis had cooled down about the incident, they all walked as a group to their next destination, although Prompto walked a little behind everyone.

Gladio slowed down to walk alongside the still frazzled blonde and asked him. "So what happened back there? Were you two fucking or what?"

Prompto's eyes widened, "Uh no, of course not!" He reacted as though it were obvious. "I was just jerkin' ma'self off and when I was finishing up, here comes old Noctis turning over and waking up right in front of my dick."

"Yeah, so…why couldn't you just move?"

"Excuse me? My eyes were closed, thinking of Cindy, duh!"

"Wow… You really are stupid…"

Yooney: It starts out slow, but Ignis evolves into a pervert as the story progresses!