Peridots depression

Hello everyone. This is my first fanfiction so please give as much of advice as possible. This takes place on an au where Peridot and Lapis Lazuil have become real members of the crystal gems and have their own rooms.

Chapter one

Peridot was unlovable. She knew that. Everyone just tolerate her but no one liked her. And she had come to some way accept that. She knew that they pretended to like her but she knew the truth. They all thought she was garbage and should be shattered or bubbled. She didn't know when she found out it sort of dawned on her that she really was unlovable.

Garnet didn't like her. It is really understandable. The first times they meet (as "friends") Peridot hade asked if she could unfuse because it made her fell scared (of course she couldn't say that). Her! A prisoner of the mighty fusion asked if the fusion could separate with the love of their life. Ya, that went well. Even if she had later wanted to fuse with her Peridot knew that she just did that to make Peridot work better. In realty Garnet probably was disgusted by peridots awful body.

Pearl didn't like her. Peridot can blame herself for that, like everything. She treated Pearl like Peridot was a superior being while Pearl was a tool. A mistake which lead to a completely waste of time building stupid robots to compete with one another to see who was the best. Which was stupid of itself since Pearl was clearly superior in almost every single way. Strength, intelligence and agility. While Peridot was weak, stupid and clumsy. No wonder the others cheered after that stupid completion. They all saw that she was clearly better, even if peridot hadn't seen it at first.

Amethyst didn't like her. The worst part about that was she could have prevented it if she had just shut up. The started off so good until Peridot hade made her fell small. Really, Peridot. Call the one gem that you have might been able too for a relationship a defect. Genius. And even then, she could make it worse. Recently Amethyst came out to Peridot that she had a crush for Peridot and asked if Peridot wanted to be her girlfriend. Peridot declined because she had another crush (with was one of the most stupid crushes she could have). Amethyst said that it was alright and they could still be friends but Peridot knew better. She knew that Amethyst couldn't even stand the gem that broke her heart and made her fell small. Even if she pretended to still like having Peridot around her she knew it was a lie. Like everything else the gems made to make her feel like she belonged with them.

Lapis didn't like her. Peridot treated her like dirt when she was her prisoner, when in reality peridot was even worse than dirt. It was no wonder that Lapis didn't even acknowledge her in the beginning of their time as Crystal gems. Which slightly hurt since Peridot had developed a slight crush on her. But what chance did she an excuse for a gem have against her. Even if Lapis had said that she had forgiven her and wanted to be friends, Peridot knew it was false and that the beautiful gem wanted nothing more than to shatter her.

Steven didn't like her. He only need her information on the cluster so they could stop it and then he didn't have the heart to bubble her again. Peridot was not surprised, after all the trouble she had caused with her stupid attempts to try to negotiate a teamwork with yellow diamond. She couldn't see why someone would want to be friends with her. The only thing he could do was try to make Peridot understand how things on earth work so she couldn't bother him. I mean what else could Steven try to accomplish with all the things he tried to teach her. She wasn't smart enough learn any of that.

All in all, Peridot knew that nobody like her because she was stupid, clumsy, couldn't keep her mouth shut, weak, disgusting, time wasting and a useless gem. She had destroyed every friendship she had because she was so unbelieve dumb that she saw herself as important. And yet she come to peace with that. Sure it hurt but it was true. She was utterly useless and unlovebal.