"You know," the freckled boy said. "For a game that's basically a spectator event, the Triwizard Tournament doesn't seem to care much about its spectators. The first task looks very dangerous for the audience, especially since you mention the game was suspended after a basilisk, sorry cockatrice, went on a rampage and injured the jury. You would think that when reviving the tournament, they had kept this in mind."

"Well," the writer said. "The tasks were supposed to represent the four elements so dragons seemed the natural choice for fire."

"And water was the second task? All very fun, but what exactly was the audience doing? Where they just watching an empty lake? Clearly they were because Dumbledore had to ask the head of the mermaids what happened down there."

"Uhm yeah, now that you mention it." Miss Rowling said, she shifted uncomfortably in her seat .

"And for the third task they just watched the outside of the maze, presumably. Otherwise they would have noticed what fake Mad-Eye Moody was doing."

"Good point."

"And please remind me why he had to go through such lengths to get Harry to the graveyard. He could have just turned his teacup in a portkey. Your entire plot is basically redundant."

"Well, you know…"

"Your second book had a huge snake crawling around in the plumbing. Seriously, how big are those pipes that a monster like that can crawl in them? And wouldn't they be filled with water? And how exactly did that snake get in and out of those pipes? And isn't it a bit too convenient no one saw the snake crawling in and out the pipes? And how crazy is it that no one died? Almost like the entire school had temporarily plot armour. What are the odds?"

"Well, book three-"
"Don't get me started on your time travel plot please. Or can I mention how the Weasley twins never saw Peter Pettigrew lying next to Ron?"

"Book five-"

"For one of the smartest characters, Dumbledore completely ignoring Harry with no explanation whatsoever seems like a pretty stupid idea. And what's up with your stupid prophecy? Are you telling me no one else could just throw a killing curse at Voldemort's head in the end? Harry didn't even destroy half of the horcruxes. The ring was done by Dumbledore, the cup by Hermione, the snake by Neville and the medaillon by Ron. The diadem was destroyed by the fire and the horcrux within his body by Voldemort himself. He destroyed one horcrux, and he didn't even know it was a horcrux at the time. Your Chosen One is surprisingly not involved in killing Voldemort."

"Book six-"

"Don't you think that all three of them were extremely stupid? They never realized Snape was the half-blood prince? Come on, please. You're looking for a master in potions and spells and you found the book in Snape's old classroom. Wouldn't he be the first one you think off? And we know Snape does share his improvements since he always writes down the instructions on the blackboard, yet even super-nerd Hermione never actually realized those were different from the book, even though she knows her schoolbooks by heart, that doesn't make sense."

"That's enough," a voice said.

She turned around and saw a blond woman in a tight business suit entering the room. She turned to the author. "My apologies, Miss Rowling."
"It's okay."

"The Story Store does not sell criticism," she reminded her assistant. "Or rambling."

"I understand, Miss," the boy mumbled.

"Besides," she added. "Miss Rowling gave me a perfectly reasonable explanation for the plot of Goblet of Fire."

"She did?" The boy seemed very surprised.

"The reason they didn't turn Harry's teacup into a portkey," Miss Rowling said, folding her hands over the desk. "Is because his death couldn't raise suspicion."

The boy was quiet for a moment.

"If Harry had died or disappeared in suspicious circumstances," she continued. "It would raise suspicion. Everyone would immediately assume Voldemort had returned and as is mentioned later on, keeping it secret is the key in his return to power. If Harry died during the Triwizard Tournament, no one would find this suspicious since he's just a boy in a very dangerous tournament. Voldemort could continue to recruit and perhaps win the war before the others even realised there was a war going on at all."

"But his plan failed."

"Only partly. Even though it failed, Voldemort gained a massive advantage. Rita Skeever already portrayed Harry as an attention-seeking liar, which worked so well even Ron started to believe it for a moment. All the ministry had to do was continue to build upon this story, after all, it was much harder to believe anyone else would put Harry's name in the Goblet of Fire. Why would they gain with that? As you mentioned, the plan sounds far too convoluted. If someone was capable of putting his name in the Goblet wouldn't they also be capable of killing Harry, or, as you so rightly put it, change his teacup into a portkey? The convoluted nature of the plan makes it harder to convince people it is true. Voldemort is smarter than you give him credit for."

"Well I wouldn't know since Harry is about as observant as a sack of potatoes."

"Obviously." Miss Rowling said, smiling. "How else would you be able to come up with all these fan theories?"